SilentBob's (no-drama) chatroom

Have you tried this?

Take 5 caps of StimX or snort an 8 ball. Just something so you look cracked out, jittery, and your eyes are opened up really really big.

When the kids come to the door, don't give them the opportunity to say "trick or treat". Just open the door and blurt out "Hey Kids! Want some candy?!" Text doesn't capture tone of voice very well, but I think you've at least gotten the gist.

If done correctly, the children are very likely to at least wet their pants. Determining that it was a success, however, will be quite difficult because it is hard to see anything when the child's mother sprays a can of mace in your eyes.

we've gone so far as to have the candy in a big box in front of the door, and one of us behind it under a black shroud to leap up as the kids dig in for candy. that seems to be the closest we've gotten
 
we've gone so far as to have the candy in a big box in front of the door, and one of us behind it under a black shroud to leap up as the kids dig in for candy. that seems to be the closest we've gotten
Dude... weak. You can do MUCH better than that! My favorites:

1. Crawling under the front of the Jeep, full "dead" make-up, laying with my head in a pool of blood. Don't move, but use the remote starter to fire it up when the kids come close.
2. Cover head/clothes in blood. Wrap walmart bag around your head. Duct tape the bag tightly. (Allow room to breathe - hidden slices) Slump in a corner as if dead, holding the candy. Again, don't move, even when they expect you to move. If anything, convulse wildly and then go dead again.

Next year's trick... oh, man... straight up HOSTEL. NOBODY is going to expect what I've got planned!!!!!!
 
I'll bet it's someone you know. If they just waltzed right in like that, they knew a little about the situation.
Either it's someone you know personally or someone has been watching your habits.
Keep your ear to the ground. People that do these sort of things usually brag about it sooner or later.

If you catch them, give them what for!!

Yeah they will brag of this I am sure. No one has ever been in my house and there are 4 people who "know" me in school, none of which know where I live. I've been checking craigslist lol, retards didnt even take the power cable for the TV.
 
Oh and I of course reported it instantly, I am fairly certain the kid will try to pawn it or some such, stolen guns stay on the registry forever so I will get it back some day lol.
 
but the real question to ask is why does he still have a pumpkin decoration on his lawn :D

I've still got my Christmas tree up. :smokin:
 
I've still got my Christmas tree up. :smokin:
Mine's boxed up...right in the corner of the living room where it stood. Dang lazy wife...
 
Mine's boxed up...right in the corner of the living room where it stood. Dang lazy wife...

Your wife is a genius ... just put a refridgerator box over your christmas tree and take it off next christmas....



Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using Tapatalk
 
There was a fly , flying up the river he was battling a hell of a head wind. He says to himself if I drop down 4 inches I can make better headway. There is a fish in the river he says to himself, if that fly drops down 4 in. I can jump up and eat that fly. There is a bear on the other side of the river, he says to himself if that fly drops down 4 in. the fish will jump up and catch the fly, and I can run out and catch the fish. There is a hunter watching all this , he says to himself if that fly drops down 4 in. the fish will jump up and catch the fly, the bear will run out and catch the fish, giving me a chance to shoot the bear. Behind the hunter is a mouse, he says to himself , if that fly drops down 4 in. the fish will jump up and catch the fly, the bear will run out and catch the fish, and the hunter will shoot the bear, giving me a chance to grab that piece of cheese the hunter dropped when he was having his lunch. Behind the mouse is a cat, he says to himself, if that fly drops down 4 in. the fish will jump up and catch the fly, the bear will run out and catch the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the mouse will run out and grab the piece of cheese the hunter dropped when he was having his lunch, and I can pounce on the mouse. All of a sudden the fly drops down 4 in. the fish jumps up and grabs the fly, the bear runs out and grabs the fish, the hunter runs over and shoots the bear, the mouse runs out and grabs the piece of cheese that the hunter dropped when he was having his lunch, the cat pounces on the mouse and falls into the river getting soaking wet. SO THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS WHEN A FLY DROPS DOWN 4 IN. THERE WILL BE A WET PUZZY!!!

:head: :head: :head:
 
SO THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS WHEN A FLY DROPS DOWN 4 IN. THERE WILL BE A WET PUZZY!!!

:head: :head: :head:

Aesop would be proud. :biggthumpup:

Dude... weak. You can do MUCH better than that! My favorites:

1. Crawling under the front of the Jeep, full "dead" make-up, laying with my head in a pool of blood. Don't move, but use the remote starter to fire it up when the kids come close.
2. Cover head/clothes in blood. Wrap walmart bag around your head. Duct tape the bag tightly. (Allow room to breathe - hidden slices) Slump in a corner as if dead, holding the candy. Again, don't move, even when they expect you to move. If anything, convulse wildly and then go dead again.

Next year's trick... oh, man... straight up HOSTEL. NOBODY is going to expect what I've got planned!!!!!!

Mark my words, T won't be happy until he gives a child a heart attack. Either way, you've only got 9 months to get your sh*t together. And this month is a short one.
 
Aesop would be proud. :biggthumpup:



Mark my words, T won't be happy until he gives a child a heart attack. Either way, you've only got 9 months to get your sh*t together. And this month is a short one.
Dude, shyt iz to-getha!! I actually rolled out of bed this morning and said to the wifey that I have a perfectly good justification to buy a truck this year. I need to carry some 2x4s home to construct "THE CHAIR" for Halloween.

Ok, I lied. I didn't get out of bed before I told her that. THAT is how together I am!!! :head:
 
Man... so got a link to a fantastic game today.. you zombie lovers will enjoy.

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ROFLMAO!!!! Dude, we must be on the same page today...

Just downloaded the following games for my iPod:
Zombie Duckhunt
Stenches
Stupid Zombie


Also got the Lunkalarm app just to pizz with people at the gym. Yup... I'm a richard. :D
 
ROFLMAO!!!! Dude, we must be on the same page today...

Just downloaded the following games for my iPod:
Zombie Duckhunt
Stenches
Stupid Zombie


Also got the Lunkalarm app just to pizz with people at the gym. Yup... I'm a richard. :D

Zombie Duckhunt is awesome. :D
 
ROFLMAO!!!! Dude, we must be on the same page today...

Just downloaded the following games for my iPod:
Zombie Duckhunt
Stenches
Stupid Zombie


Also got the Lunkalarm app just to pizz with people at the gym. Yup... I'm a richard. :D

I am just waiting for Android 3.0 to come out, then will get a G-Tab.. then I will scoop all these up!!!
 
I am just waiting for Android 3.0 to come out, then will get a G-Tab.. then I will scoop all these up!!!
Got my Droid with Froyo and a new iPod touch... just about best of both worlds right now! :D
 
Got my Droid with Froyo and a new iPod touch... just about best of both worlds right now! :D

I am finally making the Ipod to Android conversion. Up for an upgrade in March and I think I am going to grab that Motorola Atrix. Dual Core Processor, 1GB Ram, 4g (Bull**** fake AT&T 4g, but at least it is slightly faster than 3g).
 
Man... so got a link to a fantastic game today.. you zombie lovers will enjoy.

Invalid Link Removed

Dammit, so much for me reading today...
 
I am finally making the Ipod to Android conversion. Up for an upgrade in March and I think I am going to grab that Motorola Atrix. Dual Core Processor, 1GB, Ram, 4g (Bull**** fake AT&T 4g, but at least it is slightly faster than 3g).

I think AT&T pretends to be ignorant about how selective their data is surveyed.

Before smart phones became popular, they advertised as being the network with the fewest dropped calls.

They never asked me about the 2-3 dropped calls I was having per week.
 
I think AT&T pretends to be ignorant about how selective their data is surveyed.

Before smart phones became popular, they advertised as being the network with the fewest dropped calls.

They never asked me about the 2-3 dropped calls I was having per week.

Verizon is coming to the iphone.
 
I think AT&T pretends to be ignorant about how selective their data is surveyed.

Before smart phones became popular, they advertised as being the network with the fewest dropped calls.

They never asked me about the 2-3 dropped calls I was having per week.

No company wants to tell customers how much they suck.... especially AT&T.
 
Verizon does have the best coverage in my area, but I do have 2 MAJOR gripes about that service...

1. I'm sure this is the case with many phones, but why the heck don't they get reception in my house?!?!? I can get reception in a steel warehouse, but for some reason, the brick and wood in my home blocks signal. WTF is up with that?!?!?

2. Why is it that when I look down at my phone and see 3-4 bars of 3G coverage, I assume that I'm going to have good service. Then, as soon as I use either the internet or go to make a call, the bars immediately drop down to 2, then 1, then switch to 1X coverage and no 3G, and eventually everything grinds to a halt. Close the app or the call, and bars go back up again. What is it, some sort of video game health meter or the gas gauge in the flamethrower I'm using to hunt video zombies or something that it needs to recharge after use?!?!? WTF is up with that???
 
Verizon does have the best coverage in my area, but I do have 2 MAJOR gripes about that service...

1. I'm sure this is the case with many phones, but why the heck don't they get reception in my house?!?!? I can get reception in a steel warehouse, but for some reason, the brick and wood in my home blocks signal. WTF is up with that?!?!?

2. Why is it that when I look down at my phone and see 3-4 bars of 3G coverage, I assume that I'm going to have good service. Then, as soon as I use either the internet or go to make a call, the bars immediately drop down to 2, then 1, then switch to 1X coverage and no 3G, and eventually everything grinds to a halt. Close the app or the call, and bars go back up again. What is it, some sort of video game health meter or the gas gauge in the flamethrower I'm using to hunt video zombies or something that it needs to recharge after use?!?!? WTF is up with that???

I get great everything from verizon. Had ATT and it was **** in comparison. i think you can all up verizon and get a personal cell tower possibly.

As for the bar issue, never had that... they must just know you are going to suck up all the zombie tasty data bits and throttle you back!!
 
Verizon does have the best coverage in my area, but I do have 2 MAJOR gripes about that service...

1. I'm sure this is the case with many phones, but why the heck don't they get reception in my house?!?!? I can get reception in a steel warehouse, but for some reason, the brick and wood in my home blocks signal. WTF is up with that?!?!?

Remember when you set up the faraday cage in your house because you thought the aliens were trying to steal your thoughts?

A faraday cage is just a cage of copper wires, which attach to ground. They block out any sort of radio wave. If you have a lot of electrical wires in the walls of your house, especially if it's an older building and has been re-wired several times, you might get this affect.

2. Why is it that when I look down at my phone and see 3-4 bars of 3G coverage, I assume that I'm going to have good service. Then, as soon as I use either the internet or go to make a call, the bars immediately drop down to 2, then 1, then switch to 1X coverage and no 3G, and eventually everything grinds to a halt. Close the app or the call, and bars go back up again. What is it, some sort of video game health meter or the gas gauge in the flamethrower I'm using to hunt video zombies or something that it needs to recharge after use?!?!? WTF is up with that???

I could be wrong, but I think the app is eating up your RAM.

The network sends a small signal to your phone. There's gonna be a program on your phone that's expecting that signal.

For example, if I sang "Bingo", you know the song and you would expect to hear the lyrics as I am singing them.

If you hear B-I-N-G-O, that's full signal throughput. You're phone shows full bars.

If you miss a letter, _-I-N-G-O, you missed a datapoint. Minus a bar.

The question is why did you miss the letter?

Was it because I am so far away that it's difficult to hear me? This is low signal strength.

Or was it that you were too busy killing zombies, that you weren't paying attention and so the "B" didn't process?
 
I could be wrong, but I think the app is eating up your RAM.

The network sends a small signal to your phone. There's gonna be a program on your phone that's expecting that signal.

For example, if I sang "Bingo", you know the song and you would expect to hear the lyrics as I am singing them.

If you hear B-I-N-G-O, that's full signal throughput. You're phone shows full bars.

If you miss a letter, _-I-N-G-O, you missed a datapoint. Minus a bar.

The question is why did you miss the letter?

Was it because I am so far away that it's difficult to hear me? This is low signal strength.

Or was it that you were too busy killing zombies, that you weren't paying attention and so the "B" didn't process?

One word:
Rotary
 
That movie flopped in the box office.

It looks like it might be good, but it seems like a "wait until video" flick. You know what I mean?
 
That movie flopped in the box office.

It looks like it might be good, but it seems like a "wait until video" flick. You know what I mean?

From what I saw, it was #1 worldwide box office the last 3 weeks. Maybe its doing better outside the US.
 
Ever notice how there's several movies being simultaneously advertised as #1? I never understood that.

From what I recall, it had a poor opening weekend. If it was really good, it might have picked up some momentum via word of mouth.

It might be doing better outside the US. I had never even heard of the comic until I saw the movie trailer. G4 had a marathon of the TV show last week, so it must be drawing attention.
 
IIRC it made around 40mil opening weekend. It met expectations domestically, so including international totals it should have a nice profit margin. Never read the comics though, I was a spiderman/xmen kid.
 
I have a tough time watching a movie with Seth Rogan as the lead. I like the guy, but he's just not typically a very dynamic character to have as the lead actor. Observe and Report. Pineapple Express doesn't count because he was co-staring James Franco.

...thug life.
 
Ever notice how there's several movies being simultaneously advertised as #1? I never understood that..

It's sorta like these supplement companies that all claim their products are the best. Logically, there can only be one best. The rest are less best. ha ha

To quote Conner McCloud of the clan McCloud, "There can only be one!!" :duel:


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I have a tough time watching a movie with Seth Rogan as the lead. I like the guy, but he's just not typically a very dynamic character to have as the lead actor. Observe and Report. Pineapple Express doesn't count because he was co-staring James Franco.

...thug life.
I totally agree about Rogan, but Zach and Miri make a porno was decent.
glad to see someone else picked up on this
It's based on catergories, ergo if it's number 1 they can use the phrase in advertising as "nation wide number 1", if it's number 2 but the number 1 flick is a drama were as it's a comedy they can use the phrase " number one comedy in America" etc(see what I did there;)). They actually have strict rules and regulations about that.
To quote Conner McCloud of the clan McCloud, "There can only be one!!" :duel:
I think it's "There can be only one" there TG. :D
 
I totally agree about Rogan, but Zach and Miri make a porno was decent.

And Elizabeth Banks was the co-star. :)

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AND it was a Kevin Smith film. Way too many variables to discount the movie.
 
That movie flopped in the box office.

It looks like it might be good, but it seems like a "wait until video" flick. You know what I mean?

I'm thinking that I'll wait until it's on FX or TNT or something.

AND it was a Kevin Smith film. Way too many variables to discount the movie.

Every time I hear about a "Kevin Smith" movie, I chuckle. Sinner knows why... :lol:
 
We're making a porno and we just need to know what you would be or would not be interested in doing.

- Anal.

Ah, ****.

- Oh, wait, oral. I like anal.

Yay.

"What's your name? "
"Lester. Lester the Molester Kockenschtuff."
"Wow. That's a great porn name."
"I get to pick a porn name? Then I want to be called Pete Jones."
 
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