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WOMEN!

southernxgun said:
I have no desire to be with her anymore at all. I still love her, but she kinda broke the "bond" so to speak. I'm not going around talking to other girls to spite her, but I am doing it to move on and get that confidence boost. It's killing her too. She's been trying to start random arguments out of nowhere to get my attention back on her. It's starting to become amusing. Maybe sometime down the line I'll give her another chance, IF she learns a lesson here and IF she matures. But, I just don't see that happening anytime in the near future.
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From what i have learned over the year they don't mature (this is from my exerience, maybe my ex's are nuts). Ex's are ex's for a reason, even if you do decide to give her another chance down the line it may be better for awhile, but then falls back into all of the crap before. Plus when they have broken my trust it is really hard to get that back. I have gotten back together with an ex after some time, and believed that we had grown up a little bit, but without fail she started in again with the same s*** as before. It just sucks, go find someone that will love you for you, not what she believes she can turn you into!!
 
Beau said:
That is EXACTLY what happened to me. I wasted 10 years trying to "save" my familiy. Cut bait and leave her forever.
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WTF, sounds like my life. Sorry, but you just cannot trust her again. Be glad it happened now before you had a family. My own ex told me she lost respect for me when I wanted to get back with her after I caught her cheating. It's natural to want to prove yourself to feel the better man than the other guy, but you are trying to impress a morally deprived woman.
 
DGSky said:
WTF, sounds like my life. Sorry, but you just cannot trust her again. Be glad it happened now before you had a family. My own ex told me she lost respect for me when I wanted to get back with her after I caught her cheating. It's natural to want to prove yourself to feel the better man than the other guy, but you are trying to impress a morally deprived woman.
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Moving on is the moral of the story. You're right, it is natural to want to prove oneself and all that but in reality it can subcommunicate needyness and lower status/value to the woman, regardless of the intent.

We would want it to be this way: "I forgave her and trust her again, and now she realizes the error of her ways and respects me more for being understanding and giving her another chance".

In reality it's more likely: "This guy just lost a lot of value for putting up with what I did to him... my attraction to him just went way down."

The crazy thing is, the woman may have no control over the way she feels and may even KNOW that it's the wrong way to feel... but it's the way that she's wired that makes her feel the opposite of what you would want.

It's crazy the way attraction works. Totally unintuitive.
 
Exactly.

By staying in the relationshiop I also ended up losing respect for myself and having extreme self-doubt which led to a downward spiral for over five years. I had the self-worth of a snail. Our kids could not understand why I would still try to work things out especially since once she knew she could get away with it she could misbehave all she wanted.
 
Good to see your not gonna take her back. Woman like that are just not worth it in the end!

Woman of the world ain't nothing but trouble!

and woah i'm like 4 pages late. doh
 
"Woman of the world ain't nothing but trouble!"

You know, the funny thing is that some women (the ones that are true ladies) are worth their weight in gold. But as to the others, I agree - its better to be alone than it is to be with the wrong woman.

I can personally attest to that.
 
Beau said:
"Woman of the world ain't nothing but trouble!"

You know, the funny thing is that some women (the ones that are true ladies) are worth their weight in gold. But as to the others, I agree - its better to be alone than it is to be with the wrong woman.

I can personally attest to that.
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I have been single for almost 2 years because all I find are women who are....materialistic, or too into parties.
 
Beau said:
That is EXACTLY what happened to me. I wasted 10 years trying to "save" my familiy. Cut bait and leave her forever.
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Wow.
You too?
I'm on the 10 year saving the family thing my self, and after the first time she screwed around and I took her back, Well. She only did it 4 or 5 more times.
Wow. I lost count.

Anyway.. YES!!!! Run for the hills!!!!

JP.
 
Zero V said:
I have been single for almost 2 years because all I find are women who are....materialistic, or too into parties.
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If there is one thing I've learned from all this it's not to settle. Im becoming more and more aware of what I want in a girl and, I'm right there with you, it's not a materialistic party girl. But, thats all i seem to find these days too.
 
southernxgun said:
If there is one thing I've learned from all this it's not to settle. Im becoming more and more aware of what I want in a girl and, I'm right there with you, it's not a materialistic party girl. But, thats all i seem to find these days too.
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What are you using as first criteria of interest...and where are you going to meet women?

If the words "looks" and/or club or bar are involved in your answer then you're doing it wrong.
 
jp17815 said:
Wow.
You too?
I'm on the 10 year saving the family thing my self, and after the first time she screwed around and I took her back, Well. She only did it 4 or 5 more times.
Wow. I lost count.

Anyway.. YES!!!! Run for the hills!!!!

JP.
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JP - lets hope our club is a small one.

The details of my ex-wife's behavior are simply unbelievable.
 
Beau said:
JP - lets hope our club is a small one.

The details of my ex-wife's behavior are simply unbelievable.
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I'm in the club sadly enough...

Recently I have been so pissed at myself for letting her take so many years of my life. Its so frustrating thinking back...UGH!
 
I have no intention of getting married anytime soon, but holy hell if you guys aren't making a case for making that "anytime soon" into an "ever"!

About the materialistic girls, I have dated a few 19-22 year olds in the past year and found none of them to be that way... and they were all girls who I met at clubs. I think materialistic girls are more likely to be found in bigger cities though... miami, atlanta, new york, etc. I live in a pretty small town.

Only truly materialistic girl I know is one I know and have kept in touch with from college... she's a total athlete groupie and pretty much makes it through life by getting guys to do stuff/buy her stuff. She's also a club chick (one of those chicks that you see dancing in on the pedestals and stuff) but from a big city (ATL).
 
buuzer0 said:
I have no intention of getting married anytime soon, but holy hell if you guys aren't making a case for making that "anytime soon" into an "ever"!

About the materialistic girls, I have dated a few 19-22 year olds in the past year and found none of them to be that way... and they were all girls who I met at clubs. I think materialistic girls are more likely to be found in bigger cities though... miami, atlanta, new york, etc. I live in a pretty small town.

Only truly materialistic girl I know is one I know and have kept in touch with from college... she's a total athlete groupie and pretty much makes it through life by getting guys to do stuff/buy her stuff. She's also a club chick (one of those chicks that you see dancing in on the pedestals and stuff) but from a big city (ATL).
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The problem isn't with marriage, its with marrying the wrong person; someone who took a vow to love you - but wound up instead committing marital treason.

That is the problem.

I am in a relationship now that is so different from the one I endured for so long. Relationships based on trust are terrific.
 
Beau said:
The problem isn't with marriage, its with marrying the wrong person; someone who took a vow to love you - but wound up instead committing marital treason.

That is the problem.

I am in a relationship now that is so different from the one I endured for so long. Relationships based on trust are terrific.
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Truth. Yeah... I think whoever I find that I suspect of being the one will have to be dated for 2 years or more before I even think about doing the big M with.

On a different note, you also have the total opposite end of the spectrum - SWINGERS! Don't know much about how they do things, but the few I've met seemed to have pretty happy marriages! :33:
 
buuzer0 said:
Truth. Yeah... I think whoever I find that I suspect of being the one will have to be dated for 2 years or more before I even think about doing the big M with.

On a different note, you also have the total opposite end of the spectrum - SWINGERS! Don't know much about how they do things, but the few I've met seemed to have pretty happy marriages! :33:
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The thought of that makes me want to puke. Marriage, after all, is supposed to be an exclusive deal. Just being betrayed was more than enough for me.
 
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