want to keep those holiday pounds off? it's easy with this simple trick - food poisoning. yup, i was shocked too. you can pretty much eat whatever the fvck you want and as much as you'd like, because it won't be staying down long. i dropped a half inch on my waist during those 3 days. pretty cool sh!t. untapped resource if you will. basically i had to purge myself from all food on wednesday and the issue finally went away on it's own. that's thing about food poisoning, eventually you just have to stop eating for it to go away completely. so, as of this morning i was fine again.
fasted cardio (like 40 hours fasted)- 1 hr eliptical low intensity
and normally i would be done for the day but i recently came across a security gig down in NC tomorrow where i get to guard a horde of strippers with the low end payoff being 500 bucks. so, i'm going to do a total body maintenance workout tonight and just stay zero carb over the weekend and resume normal cardio on saturday morning upon my return. workout won't be worth reporting as i'm fatigued just from not eating enough plus it's a maintenance workout anyway to keep my sanity til monday.
side note: broke my finger this past sunday on a cops face. he was off duty and drunk at my bar. his buddy (also a cop) thought it'd be cool to piss on the floor instead of in the urinal and my other bouncer caught him, and of course kicked him out. well he didn't see a need to leave the front porch of the bar, which is still our premises but he refused to leave even after being told he was trespassing at this point. so, my other bouncer and him are going at it (verbally) and i'm just standing there with my arms crossed not saying a word to anyone, i'm there just in case some sh!t goeth down. well, cops buddy comes running up and puts his 2 cents into it and bouncer buddy (steve) tells him to butt out as this doesn't concern him. so, dipsh!t flashes a badge and starts running his mouth further. steve turns to look at me like "wtf?" to which i just shrug implying "who gives a fvck?" 2 other cop buddies appear from the group and drag off dipsh!t #2 while steve continues his dialog with dipsh!t #1. #2 continues his sh!ttalking, calling steve a 'rentacop' and a 'worthless p.o.s.', so on and so forth. steve is focused on #1 at the time and i'm not even sure if he's hearing the antics behind him. well #2 is apprently not pleased by this reaction, or lack thereof, so he turns to me and begins "hey, tattoo boy, bald guy, you think you're bad? you're a p.o.s. too, fvck you....etc." now, normally i can listen to this sh!t and not really give a fvck. but that night, i wasn't feeling it, plus it was a cop - not that i have anything against cops, i love most of em, but this one was obviously a d!ckhead that loved to throw his badge around so....i bit. i walked up to the guy as fast as i could and he was already having his doubts judging by his face but i could tell he was going to continue down this path of stupidity.
#2 in a nervous voice "what, you gonna hit me?"
me "alright, i don't know who the fvck you are but i haven't said a goddamn word to you in this sh!t, so it'd be in your best interest to watch your fvcking mouth and who you're talking to."
#2 "fvck you, noone is scared of you."
me "being scared or not doesn't change the end result of your mouth"
#2 "you gonna hit me?"
me " i can't hit you unless you take a swing, so please do me that one favor and swing. i'm asking pretty please with sugar on top, take a fvcking swing."
#2 "well, i'm not going to swing, you know why....??"
me "yeah, i know why, cuz you're a fvcking pussy, and a pussy won't swing."
#2 "oh, i'm a pussy?"
me "certified true and true, you've got a fat fvcking stamp on your faggot forehead that says in big black bold letters "PUSSY"."
to which he didn't like (go me), so he decided to push me. well, i'm all about some pushing so i lauched him into 2 of his cop buddies and down they all go, looked like bowling pins. so #2 took it up a notch and ran in for a tackle to my stomach so i caught him and fell back with his head tucked to my side just enough for his forehead to break our fall. i'm sitting there holding him as he's trying to break free . i let him up thinking he's done but he reels back for a right cross and i beat him to the punch (literally). i catch him in the nose and i hear it crunch and can feel it give - down he goes. steve puts him in an armbar, and i call the cops (on duty kind). well, the four wisemen are now freaking the fvck out as they know the kind of sh!t they can get in for causing trouble in town. i hear numbers being thrown out "500 bucks...1000 bucks....can we just forget about it?"
me "take a bribe from a cop about a cop? is that really what i'm hearing? sorry, but i'm really not that fvcking stupid."
cops come and arrest him, story over. then i discover that i can't close my fingers down all the way. look at it closer and one of my fingers is crooked, like twisted to the right. so either i fvcked it up on his face or it got caught in his shirt when we were tangling on the ground, either way - the mofo is broke as a b!tch. any kind of grip work is out of the question for a while, straps will be resumed for the time being.
Nice lil fight there. Whats your body weight right now? Moti, told me you had slimmed up... Underwear model potential right? 
