The funny things you see in the gym

[thaOrleanyte]

Ooo i got one! I hate the guy (me) who sweats all over everything. That walks around like the Alien dripping **** everywhere.

 

[jakellpet]

a sheep. I'd shave him and make a nifty sweater! And then stab it where i think his kidneys might be.

If you from this part of the world, you'd probably be accused of having liasons of a sexual kind.

 

[thaOrleanyte]

 

[thaOrleanyte]

oops forgot to have sex with it first. Wow, even I find that disturbing................... But surprisingly fulfilling:head:

 

[sp447]

People at the gym who only do bicep curls and chest workout that look at me like I'm retarded for doing deadlifts.

The other day in the gym I was doing plyos and cardio. I was training my Clinch simulating it on the cable machine. After I was done a guy at the gym I know told me that some high school kids where whispering about how stupid what I was doing was and that it was pointless. He pointed over to the guys and the kid was on the smith machine doing bench presses with 115lbs..... and struggling with it!

And they says my workout methods are pointless.:icon_lol:


-I also laugh to myself when I see these guys "trying" to curl 70lbs dumbbells but using shitty form and then they wonder why they can't get big.


-People who do leg workouts.... but don't get their pussy asses on the squat rack.

-People talk on their cell phones at the gym

 

[Omen]

yeah if a guy i didnt like was struggling with weight and needed help........ i'd stab him in the kidneys.

:icon_lol:

Hell yeah!

I thought about punching him in the face or helping him with the bar up then letting it drop on his face or neck........:lol:

 

[thaOrleanyte]

how the **** do you train for clinch on cable machine.... Wrap it around yourself?

 

[sp447]

how the **** do you train for clinch on cable machine.... Wrap it around yourself?

It's basically standing lat pulldowns while throwing knees.

make sense?

 

[thaOrleanyte]

Yeah. Thats gotta be some work. Touche'......

 

[BodyWizard]

It's been a long time since I was in anybody else's gym, but I remember this (a variation on a common theme):

2 guys at the leg press, loading (to me) an insane amount of weight - 400, 600 pounds. Neither of these guys was even 5 feet tall, and they were muscular, not built, and their legs were nothing much. So one guy gets in the thing, and they get going - and I mean get going: one starts yelling at the other one like he was Sergeant Carter wearing out Gomer Pyle himself, and the guy working the press is screaming like he's being hacked to bits with a bread knife while...never mind.

Anyway this whole thing is going on...and the guy in the press is moving maybe TWO INCHES. And he does maybe 5 of them, locks it out, jumps up & starts to pace fast around the room, a real intense look on his face, while his boy is going on like he'd just taken Berlin by himself.

And then they went back and did it again; then, they did it again...it took them FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to put on this performance. It struck me at the time as the most bizarre behaviour I'd ever seen in public (and I've known folks who specialized in bizarre public behaviour).

I confess, this is the only actual gym story I have; shortly after that I moved across country, bought a bench & some weights and proceeded to injure myself properly without the monthly fee.

I've been working out by myself ever since ('cept when my brother's around).

 

[thaOrleanyte]

bought a bench & some weights and proceeded to injure myself properly without the monthly fee

haha thats a good one! I like to injure myself while people are watchin! This one time I was flat benching with 110 lbs db's my spotter lifted my left elbow to fast, and my wrist gave out and i dropped the db on my chest while the right hand db went flailing about.

 

[dragonfly]

yeah if a guy i didnt like was struggling with weight and needed help........ i'd stab him in the kidneys.

I focus my aggression on weights :clean:, I get more benefit out of that, the rest of the world can keep playing their games :trout:, I don't care, the person I like to go against most is myself. To see how far I can get...

 

[thaOrleanyte]

so would you stab yourself in the kidneys??

 

[BodyWizard]

*I* would not - I made a promise years ago not to turn my aggression against myself anymore.

And if you're wondering, I try not to turn it against other people, either (yeah, I know: 'where'a the fun in that?').

 

[jakellpet]

I was doing clean and jerks once, and this woman came up to me and said:

"I've been watching you jerk and clean - does it take much practice?"

....I just hit the floor laughing.

 

[thaOrleanyte]

that is a good one! She said it all serious too, i bet

 

[dragonfly]

so would you stab yourself in the kidneys??

No, I know how far that would get me, haha ! Don't take my sentences too literally "defender of the sheep" aka "sheep stabber" :rofl:

 

[jakellpet]

that is a good one! She said it all serious too, i bet

Oh, indeed she did! I apologised for laughing, and explained the error. Poor girl existed stage left in a hurry!

 

[thaOrleanyte]

ahhh hhaaaaaahhhhh! Touche! Nice burn.......

 

[thaOrleanyte]

i dont even have a comeback for that one.I didnt catch it when jakellpet was talkin about the sheep. I must be a wolf and therefore must bite my face off. I'll let you know how it works out for me

 

[CDB]

Next we move to the countless amount of personal trainers at my gym who ask me how to do certain exercises and what muscles they work. One of them seen my using baby powder on my shins when deadlifting one day and also seen that I had chalk on my hands. A week later I come in and he has a big container of baby powder with him and he is having a group of young athlete's he babysits, i mean trains, putting it on there hands. I told him that the chalk and baby powder serve two completely opposite purposes and he replies with, " No wonder everyone's grip seemed worse today."

:thumbsup: Now there's a trainer worth hiring.

"Here, put this oil on y our hands. Trust me, you'll be ripping the weight..."

 

[motive]

this wasnt so much funny as it was just dirty...
yesterday this chubby chick was doing the stair climber with a tennis skirt on.... and a thong.
the manager pulled her aside and asked her to change haha

 

[CDB]

this wasnt so much funny as it was just dirty...
yesterday this chubby chick was doing the stair climber with a tennis skirt on.... and a thong.
the manager pulled her aside and asked her to change haha

I've seen people get away with worse. Saw a guy workout in a speedo once. Full weights, squats, bench, a whole routine. If he had put a belt on at some point it would have gone from sad to funny.

 

[dsade]

Was that ****ing ammonia?

That was a bottle of Chuck Norris' sweat!

 

[Jayhawkk]

That's a lie!
Chuck Norris uses his sweat in Mandles!

 

[Omen]

Mandles....That sounds like balls.

I got hit in the mandles.

Suck my mandles baby.

I'm gonna start using that.....


.....when I'm drunk :lol:

 

[DreamOfWeight]

i hate chicks who follow me around the gym..always staring!! im not a piece of meat!! GOSH.

 

[thaOrleanyte]

what if they were hookers with blow?

 

[p5sky]

I see 2 guys at my gym that are hilarious!

first one puts on 3 shirts . . . then his sweatshirt! He goes HEAVY on everything: cable flys-whole stack, bench 295, incline DB-90. Too bad he barely breaks his elbow 2-3 inches, then does his "SHUHHH!!!" as he SLAMS the weights down. He sat next to him and grabbed the 95 lb dbs and did a nice set of 10 on incline, sat up with the weights and placed them on the rack.

second guy, big belly, never does cardio, He will do BB curls with 25s . . . while swinging/rocking the entire time . . . with his belt. Seen him for several years, no change at all.

And another . . this guy KILLED me! Family friend, I see him once in a while as he smokes outside between cardio and weights. He has been a member at this gym for over 5 years. Talkin to him the other day and told me about his 50 yr old brother that STILL ruuns the LA Marathon, doing it for 20 years! He said, " that has god to be bad for you, too tough on the body." Well he has not lost any wt over the years and smokes during workouts . . . who is worse off?

 

[motive]

i hate chicks who follow me around the gym..always staring!! im not a piece of meat!! GOSH.

dude, i havent done that since you filed the restraining order!

 

[Chub]

The skinny guys who you only ever see do bicep curls then come up to you and say " so what are you on?"

 

[DreamOfWeight]

dude, i havent done that since you filed the restraining order!

hahah.. :rofl:

 

[SilentBob187]

i hate chicks who follow me around the gym..always staring!! im not a piece of meat!! GOSH.

:thumbsup:

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to DreamOfWeight again.

 

[DreamOfWeight]

dude.. S.bob... everytime i hear ur avi, i jump on the jetski in the garage and pretend im riding with Prince Vultan and the hawkmen!!

 

[thaOrleanyte]

holy queen batman!!!!!!!

 

[DreamOfWeight]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBsxqQIu_5s"]YouTube - Batman on Drugs lol[/ame]

 

[CDB]

dude.. S.bob... everytime i hear ur avi, i jump on the jetski in the garage and pretend im riding with Prince Vultan and the hawkmen!!

You know there's a special edition DVD out right now. Great picture.

 

[DreamOfWeight]

You know there's a special edition DVD out right now. Great picture.

foreal? im a big dvd collector/ movie connesiure ... ill be sure to check it out the next time i go. :thumbsup:

 

[thaOrleanyte]

We should start a thread on the shitty music you here at the gym. My gym plays nothing but bad 80s, t-pain (should just quit) or that remix dance music (Fuk you Cher) . ****! I guess it works, cause it just pisses everyone off. They wont change it either. I work out at "Devil Dog Gym" and when you walk and it feel like Curves.

 

[BodyWizard]

Flash Gordon: great soundtrack! The movie's a camp classic - I can't stop laughing when it's on. Hell, there are places where the ACTORS can barely hold it in (Flash to Vultan: "You looney bird..." Comedy GOLD!)

Bad 80s music trumps bad 70s music! If I NEVER AGAIN hear *anything* by Kansas/Journey/Styx/Foreigner/Nazareth/BadCompany/Boston/Frampton/Toto/Boston/AC-DC I'll die a happy man.

And is EVERY dentist's office in the world stuck in disco hell? Is it the nitrous, or are the docs mainlining the novocaine? I kid you not, I've been listening to the exact same crap by the exact same losers breathing the exact same gas for over 30 years!

It's enough to make ya go postal...'cept...the gass...head feels...funny...ahh...what?

 

[Zero V]

Yesterday I saw a man doing his pull ups and lifts wearing bright green gardening gloves.....Like neon green.

I actually felt bad and figured that's all he had.

 

[DreamOfWeight]

my passion is the big screen baby, i like writting scrips... this is my fav.scene of all time.. not just because its awsome, but the camera angles and transistion scenes are fu*kn ledgendary... the music that Quentin Tarantino adds to is scenes turns his actors into icons.

Quentin Tarantino

 

[thaOrleanyte]

yo weight what the **** are you talking about?

 

[Chub]

lol!

 

[lennoxchi]

HUGE GUYS.......with little legs.

 

[DreamOfWeight]

yo weight what the **** are you talking about?

hahaha cuz we were talking about flash... and i said i was into movies. then i decided to share my fav. scene OF ALL TIME, but it fukd up.. here it is

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

 

[dragonfly]

HUGE GUYS.......with little legs.

I bet it was one of them who did this:

YouTube - Ronnie Coleman 800lb Squat Spoof

Yo, chicken legs, making fun of these monster squats ?!! :nono:

 

[thaOrleanyte]

that scene is classic. The music makes it

 

[suncloud]

there's a guy at my old gym that wears leotards. yes... leotards. with a cut off T shirt that stops 2 inches above his belly button. i call him "liberace" because i can't figure out what to say. freak...

there's also a collection of old guys that come in, like 50 years old. they wear their bench press shirts, and stack 225 on the bench. now if the shirts usually add 60-100 pounds to your raw lift, aren't they just pretending to be cool? i mean they're all around 250 pounds and they're only putting up 125-165 pounds in real weight. and yes, thats all they ever do, bench. no triceps, no shoulders, nothing to make their bench numbers increase.

 

[Zero V]

lol, gotta love it man gotta love it. The lil close nit groups in gyms that think they know it all. And that doing a big lift for looks is what counts.

I hate the dudes who walk in with gel in their hair, and spend 60% of their time talking with each other and standing.....

All they want is to impress some bimbo at the bar that night....