pistonpump
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i was picturing a headband and a red afro.
atjnutrition2
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no headband or mulletbut the shorts are bright red and the shirt is bright yellow.
motive
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wow... a spokesman for gay rights rainbow convention too!
dragonfly
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jakellpet
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waaay too much cringe factor for me DragonFly
CDCDCD
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ha today for example, big guy skinny legs loads up on all equipment using momentum to help him lift. He was a perfect example of a GOOD MORNING Handbag deadlifting too much almost falling on his head on the way down. He wasn't grunting it was more of a wimper, blow outs both ends. I thought he was trying to put his turtle head back in...
jakellpet
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Ha! this morning I saw a barrel-chested gorilla start throwing this legs in the air on the bench press.
It was strangly like he was doing a hybrid of those bench-ab crunches if you know what I mean.
pistonpump
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loved that video dragonfly!
Inarius
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lol.
An overweight woman was sitting outside of the men's locker room last night.... she was sitting in workout clothes listening to an ipod watching people do cardio. I went in the locked room to find that no one was in there... I figured she may have been waiting for someone. Guess not...
An overweight woman was sitting outside of the men's locker room last night.... she was sitting in workout clothes listening to an ipod watching people do cardio. I went in the locked room to find that no one was in there... I figured she may have been waiting for someone. Guess not...
Chub
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The other day i was in the gym, speaking to some guy of like 18/19 saying how he's taken so much of this PH and that PH for the last few months. So later on in the locker room he's taking his t-shirt off. His nipples were so puffy! like half an inch out the way.
I was going to ask him if he needed a hand getting milked, but then thought he'd think i'm a homo or something. So i left him to it lol
I was going to ask him if he needed a hand getting milked, but then thought he'd think i'm a homo or something. So i left him to it lol
pistonpump
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lol. good call.
CDB
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Funniest things at the gym:
There's a sasquach at my gym, looks like he dowsed himself in crazy glue and then rolled through a barber shop. I'm surprised he hasn't been shot yet.
There was one guy at my old gym who used to talk dirty to his weights. He'd be lifting and saying things like, "Oh that's it, come on baby, daddy needs one more rep, oh yeah, come on baby, do it good..." You really felt the need to leave him alone with the machine. In fact you wanted to put up a Japanese screen or something to give them some privacy.
Both my friend Mike and myself took severe shots to the balls more than once playing racquetball. Funny in retrospect. One time he misjudged a shot and the ball was in close to his chest when he went to hit it, he brought the racquet down in a close shot and whipped himself in the nuts. I never saw a man drop so fast. Then, after getting up finally, he went outside and started retching in the bushes for a half hour.
the glass backed racquetball courts were always fun, some schmuck always misjudged where the wall was and, going for a long shot, would run smack into the wall BLAMO!, and collapse.
There was a 'power lifting' group at my gym once. I put that in quotes because the weights they were lifting were unbelievably low for all the psyching up they did. Imagine a stereotypical power lifting psych up with two bald guys smacked the **** out of each other and then pounding out 7 reps of 185 on the bench.
Then there's the guy who feels the need to travel with two gallons of water around the gym. Never got that one.
There's a sasquach at my gym, looks like he dowsed himself in crazy glue and then rolled through a barber shop. I'm surprised he hasn't been shot yet.
There was one guy at my old gym who used to talk dirty to his weights. He'd be lifting and saying things like, "Oh that's it, come on baby, daddy needs one more rep, oh yeah, come on baby, do it good..." You really felt the need to leave him alone with the machine. In fact you wanted to put up a Japanese screen or something to give them some privacy.
Both my friend Mike and myself took severe shots to the balls more than once playing racquetball. Funny in retrospect. One time he misjudged a shot and the ball was in close to his chest when he went to hit it, he brought the racquet down in a close shot and whipped himself in the nuts. I never saw a man drop so fast. Then, after getting up finally, he went outside and started retching in the bushes for a half hour.
the glass backed racquetball courts were always fun, some schmuck always misjudged where the wall was and, going for a long shot, would run smack into the wall BLAMO!, and collapse.
There was a 'power lifting' group at my gym once. I put that in quotes because the weights they were lifting were unbelievably low for all the psyching up they did. Imagine a stereotypical power lifting psych up with two bald guys smacked the **** out of each other and then pounding out 7 reps of 185 on the bench.
Then there's the guy who feels the need to travel with two gallons of water around the gym. Never got that one.
raginfcktard
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come on guys...i do all these things!
suncloud
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about a month ago, i saw this guy on the smith machine. he used it for all FOUR of his sets of bench. then, he adjusted the bench so he could do military press on the same smith machine. after set TWO, a 40 year old b*tch comes walking up and says "see that stuff down there" pointing to the floor where her water bottle is. "that's my stuff, and i was using that machine". seriously, after the guy had done 6 sets plus resting, this stupid wh0re decides that she needs the smith machine again. after the poor guy gets off, she does bench with two 10 pound plates for one set. including the weight of the smith machine, she's repping 30 pounds. finally i understand where she was coming from - the olympic bar was 50% too much weight for her. :saw: i'm thinking of switching gyms now.
Jayhawkk
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CDB's experiences are hilarious. The big foot sighting LOL
Manimalia
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not in-gym, but funny funny:
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
i don't know what's funnier, the lift or the music. both sucked.
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
i don't know what's funnier, the lift or the music. both sucked.
Jayhawkk
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Was that ****ing ammonia?
jakellpet
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what the hell was he sniffing - solvent?
Inarius
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... I wanted the weight to fall so bad....
Chub
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haha what a pair of tards:lol:
Mach .78
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atjnutrition2
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What a couple of complete tools. Strong 70's gym set. Then the "Powerhouse Gym" t-shirt. Finally the douche spotter with jeans and no shirt. That video was just wrong on so many levels.
Inarius
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dont you lift in jeans and no shirt?
ozarkaBRAND
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When the guy at the olympic pl meet gets the weight up, and then just like passes out and hits the floor.. That cracks me up every time.. :lol:
atjnutrition2
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No, I prefer to lift in a shirt and no pants.
Mach .78
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These two were clearly joking when they made this. I think that was vinager. Arghh! I liked it. Ya jackasses.
Inarius
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oh... I lift naked. really puts off some guys at the gym but I just like to see all of my muscles at work. :bb3: minus the speedo
Chub
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i wouldn't mind doing some naked cardio, might flap around to much if i was running or something though. Also, swimming naked would be cool, or going down a big shoot!:lol:
Manimalia
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"There's nothin' holdin' me in place!!! I'm flippin' i'm floppin'!!!!!!...."---Cosmo Kramer
pmiller383
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Glad I just seen this thread, here we go:
There is a guy in my gym who is 30 years old, I only know that because I have had to ID him when I was working at a bar a few months ago. Yesterday he starts telling me and some others about how his gym was in the 1970's and how everyone there was dead lifting at least 800lbs. So I called the guy out and said, " so you were deadlifting 800 when you were a toddler?" He gave me a **** Off and walked away with his tail between his legs.
We also have the guy who wears his weight belt for every set, along with his Nike football gloves and lifting straps. Usually he does the infamous rocking curl , but only if the squat racks open for him. Yesterday he decides to get some bench presses in, little to my surprise hes going down literally about 3 inches. After a few sets with 25lb plates on each side he decides to jump up to a 35 on each side. Thats right 115lbs , 52.16 kilo's, 8.2 stones...You get the point, a very big bench for a 6'1 200lb guy.....He unrack's the weight, lowers to his normal depth and does a rep or two pretty easy. I turn around for a second and when I look back he has the bar on his chest with his eyes closed. I literally thought he was dead. I started heading over to see if the guy was breathing when I noticed he is trying to roll the bar down his body to get it off of him. Me and another guy grabbed a side a pick it off, he thanked us and then flexed in the mirror.
Next we have the over weight x-female bodybuilder. She openly admits to juicing during her competing days when she looked kind of looked like she worked out but those days are long gone. She puts every client of her's into a routine that would make Arnold himself think it was overtraining. They start off with smith machine quarter squats, then rounded back rows, rounded back deadlifts, rocking curls on the cable machine, etc. So I am just keeping to myself and doing some chain floor press when she decides its a good idea to come over and grab one of my chains off of the bar. The chains are my own personal ones that I lug in and out of the place whenever I need to use them. She then tells me to bring the chains in next Saturday so she could use them. I asked well what are you training that day? She replies nothing, I have a photo shoot and I need them as a prop. Needless to say that's not going to happen and I hope to God she doesn't try to sell me a calendar of her.
Next we move to the countless amount of personal trainers at my gym who ask me how to do certain exercises and what muscles they work. One of them seen my using baby powder on my shins when deadlifting one day and also seen that I had chalk on my hands. A week later I come in and he has a big container of baby powder with him and he is having a group of young athlete's he babysits, i mean trains, putting it on there hands. I told him that the chalk and baby powder serve two completely opposite purposes and he replies with, " No wonder everyone's grip seemed worse today."
Finally among everything else that happens at my gym here is the thing that kills me the most. The trainer who has two professional Hockey players as clients yet trains them so that they will have huge biceps and be really good at tricep kick backs. These guys usually work out at the same time as me in the morning and I have never seen them do:
Any hip or leg exercises
Any grip or forearm work
Any explosive lifts.
The daily routine consist of smith machine shrugs, biceps, pull ups ( in which they never go to a dead hang and can only get 12 in a row, as a professional athlete) bench press, and of course tricep kick backs. So one day I was talking to the trainer outside of the gym at a bar and I asked why never does any leg training or forearm training with his two hockey players, his reply was that its not functional for their sport. Now I can understand during the season not killing their legs because they are on the ice a lot, but in the off season they are only hitting the ice once or twice a week for light conditioning.
There is a guy in my gym who is 30 years old, I only know that because I have had to ID him when I was working at a bar a few months ago. Yesterday he starts telling me and some others about how his gym was in the 1970's and how everyone there was dead lifting at least 800lbs. So I called the guy out and said, " so you were deadlifting 800 when you were a toddler?" He gave me a **** Off and walked away with his tail between his legs.
We also have the guy who wears his weight belt for every set, along with his Nike football gloves and lifting straps. Usually he does the infamous rocking curl , but only if the squat racks open for him. Yesterday he decides to get some bench presses in, little to my surprise hes going down literally about 3 inches. After a few sets with 25lb plates on each side he decides to jump up to a 35 on each side. Thats right 115lbs , 52.16 kilo's, 8.2 stones...You get the point, a very big bench for a 6'1 200lb guy.....He unrack's the weight, lowers to his normal depth and does a rep or two pretty easy. I turn around for a second and when I look back he has the bar on his chest with his eyes closed. I literally thought he was dead. I started heading over to see if the guy was breathing when I noticed he is trying to roll the bar down his body to get it off of him. Me and another guy grabbed a side a pick it off, he thanked us and then flexed in the mirror.
Next we have the over weight x-female bodybuilder. She openly admits to juicing during her competing days when she looked kind of looked like she worked out but those days are long gone. She puts every client of her's into a routine that would make Arnold himself think it was overtraining. They start off with smith machine quarter squats, then rounded back rows, rounded back deadlifts, rocking curls on the cable machine, etc. So I am just keeping to myself and doing some chain floor press when she decides its a good idea to come over and grab one of my chains off of the bar. The chains are my own personal ones that I lug in and out of the place whenever I need to use them. She then tells me to bring the chains in next Saturday so she could use them. I asked well what are you training that day? She replies nothing, I have a photo shoot and I need them as a prop. Needless to say that's not going to happen and I hope to God she doesn't try to sell me a calendar of her.
Next we move to the countless amount of personal trainers at my gym who ask me how to do certain exercises and what muscles they work. One of them seen my using baby powder on my shins when deadlifting one day and also seen that I had chalk on my hands. A week later I come in and he has a big container of baby powder with him and he is having a group of young athlete's he babysits, i mean trains, putting it on there hands. I told him that the chalk and baby powder serve two completely opposite purposes and he replies with, " No wonder everyone's grip seemed worse today."
Finally among everything else that happens at my gym here is the thing that kills me the most. The trainer who has two professional Hockey players as clients yet trains them so that they will have huge biceps and be really good at tricep kick backs. These guys usually work out at the same time as me in the morning and I have never seen them do:
Any hip or leg exercises
Any grip or forearm work
Any explosive lifts.
The daily routine consist of smith machine shrugs, biceps, pull ups ( in which they never go to a dead hang and can only get 12 in a row, as a professional athlete) bench press, and of course tricep kick backs. So one day I was talking to the trainer outside of the gym at a bar and I asked why never does any leg training or forearm training with his two hockey players, his reply was that its not functional for their sport. Now I can understand during the season not killing their legs because they are on the ice a lot, but in the off season they are only hitting the ice once or twice a week for light conditioning.
atjnutrition2
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In reference to the belt mentioned above. There's a guy who gets out of the car with his belt on. It's ridiculous. I've never seen him do anything which would remotely work his back.....except of course his terrible form bicep curls.
This isn't a stupid one, it's more of a pet peeve. I HATE the people who get on the leg press and load it up and scream/grunt/yell while they move it maybe 6 inches. I hate that machine, I know it serves its purpose, but so many people try to use it as an ego boost instead of as more of a targeted piece of equipment. DO SOME SQUATS!! Wow, sorry for the outburst.
This isn't a stupid one, it's more of a pet peeve. I HATE the people who get on the leg press and load it up and scream/grunt/yell while they move it maybe 6 inches. I hate that machine, I know it serves its purpose, but so many people try to use it as an ego boost instead of as more of a targeted piece of equipment. DO SOME SQUATS!! Wow, sorry for the outburst.
Kraker
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I live on post, and work out at the gym on post. There is this lady who is in her late 30's there almost everyday at the same time. She is not at all attractive, and whatever there's nothing wrong with that. Everyday she has on the same purple spandex pants and green Mickey Mouse shirt. Again, not my biggest turn on but I can deal with it. The main problem is, she insists on laying on the floor along side of the squat rack or bench to do some 2.5lbs dumbell exercise I have never ever seen done before in my life, or will stand between you and the mirror during a set. When asked to move(again she does this everyday) She says "No". Eventually some dude asks the staff to talk to her, blah blah blah. Turns out this random chick is some retired generals daughter who has been doing this for years. None of the civilians that work the gym can do anything because they will get fired. I mean she obviously does this so people will have to look at her, but she is filthy.
So this definately just made my day! Thank you:thumbsup:
CDCDCD
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ahh ha ha
thaOrleanyte
Well-known member
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hey dragonfly, i got chicken legs!!!! Yeah it's pretty bad. Im not to worried about it, just crappy genetics. I laugh at myself when i look in the mirror sometimes. I look like a gorilla walking on broomsticks.
thaOrleanyte
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I did a paper on this in one of my college english classes. Quite amusing, wish i could find it.
Anyways, being in the marine corps, I work out at the gym on base. Most of the people that come in are pretty young. Theres only a handfull of guys that experienced lifters. It pisses me off when these younger marines want to suddenly deadlift for the first time in thier lives and then get all pissy when u try to help em out.
Theres an old guy, probly in his late 50's. He's pretty big, about 6' and 240. I wish yall could see this guy do curls though. I will do my best to explain. He curls with dumbells, raising both arms at the same time. But he does this kinda air hump where he slowly thrusts his big ass gut forward at the same time wrenchin his neck backwards and lookin straight up in the air. He will just rep that **** out for like 3 mins. I swear to allah wrapped in bacon this old douche does the same routine 3 times a week. It's pretty damn ridiculous.
Another jerkoff.
This guy is even better. He is a little on the simple side ( retarded... for you retards that dont know simple means retarded. It does. Trust me..........I think) and looks like he was 300 pounds about two weeks ago because he muscle shirt is like a xxxxxxxl. He swims in that ****. Anyways, Let me give u a breakdown of one of his routine. Let me explain his definition of
Barbell rows
1. Find Squat rack..... Here it is!.
2. Load up to much weight on bar (315)..... Check.
3. Reach down and take a uneven grip...... got it.
4. Pull up bar to hips in a jerking/jumping motion... Im stoopid!.
5. repeat like 4 times...... Boners!
Sit up things
1.Find flat bench... Yeah.
2. Load up too much weight again (about 265)... Duh.
3. Put on belt... Why?
4. Put weight on front of shoulders...... where are my sideburns?
5. Lower body in a situp fashion. note- Flail around legs...... OMG!
6. Situp.... Yet again.....im stoopid
Squats
1. Load up to much weight (415)... "I know how to do this, ok!"- (literally his response, to which I reply, " You're a dumbass, sir.")
2. Wiggle body under bar for approx. 25 seconds.........Im a dancing man!
3. Make a Weird face and grunt...... GGGWWAARRR!
4. Lower yourself around 10 inches and slam your knees straight so you and the bar bounce at the top of the lift....... I'm a pony!
That is all.
Tha O
Anyways, being in the marine corps, I work out at the gym on base. Most of the people that come in are pretty young. Theres only a handfull of guys that experienced lifters. It pisses me off when these younger marines want to suddenly deadlift for the first time in thier lives and then get all pissy when u try to help em out.
Theres an old guy, probly in his late 50's. He's pretty big, about 6' and 240. I wish yall could see this guy do curls though. I will do my best to explain. He curls with dumbells, raising both arms at the same time. But he does this kinda air hump where he slowly thrusts his big ass gut forward at the same time wrenchin his neck backwards and lookin straight up in the air. He will just rep that **** out for like 3 mins. I swear to allah wrapped in bacon this old douche does the same routine 3 times a week. It's pretty damn ridiculous.
Another jerkoff.
This guy is even better. He is a little on the simple side ( retarded... for you retards that dont know simple means retarded. It does. Trust me..........I think) and looks like he was 300 pounds about two weeks ago because he muscle shirt is like a xxxxxxxl. He swims in that ****. Anyways, Let me give u a breakdown of one of his routine. Let me explain his definition of
Barbell rows
1. Find Squat rack..... Here it is!.
2. Load up to much weight on bar (315)..... Check.
3. Reach down and take a uneven grip...... got it.
4. Pull up bar to hips in a jerking/jumping motion... Im stoopid!.
5. repeat like 4 times...... Boners!
Sit up things
1.Find flat bench... Yeah.
2. Load up too much weight again (about 265)... Duh.
3. Put on belt... Why?
4. Put weight on front of shoulders...... where are my sideburns?
5. Lower body in a situp fashion. note- Flail around legs...... OMG!
6. Situp.... Yet again.....im stoopid
Squats
1. Load up to much weight (415)... "I know how to do this, ok!"- (literally his response, to which I reply, " You're a dumbass, sir.")
2. Wiggle body under bar for approx. 25 seconds.........Im a dancing man!
3. Make a Weird face and grunt...... GGGWWAARRR!
4. Lower yourself around 10 inches and slam your knees straight so you and the bar bounce at the top of the lift....... I'm a pony!
That is all.
Tha O
dragonfly
Well-known member
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I got crappy genetics too and my body is telling me I should lay off on exercise :yawn: because a female body is designed to bear children and store fat. I'm telling it to SHUT UP AND LIFT :clean:!!!
WAR AGAINST GENETICS !! :duel:
dragonfly
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You got to give him credit for being an entertainment factor :toofunny: :hammer:
thaOrleanyte
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dragonfly, dont forget your place in the kitchen! :thumbsup: I kid, I kid! Thats a bad one
gymrattus
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dragonfly
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Why? Educational purposes. Don't you do lat pulldowns like that ? :icon_lol:
Omen
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Last time I worked out at the gym, about 2.5 years ago, there was this one guy I got in a fight with before, went outside and we started fighting, people from the gym came out and seperated us, one of the trainers came outside and made us shake hands and all that ****.
Anyway the next few times he would hog a machine if he thought I wanted to use it, I'd do the same, it was getting old but funny, one day I was working in the back section and I'm going to fill my water bottle, I see him pushing out a good amount of weight on the flat bench and he kept slowing down and to my diabolical delight! the weight dropped on him!! slowly but it went all the way down to his chest!!! I was the happiest muther****er in the world!!:lol:
I thought about just walking away but then I decided against that and went over to him, lowered my head close to his, all red in the face struggling to get it off him, I just looked at him smiled and said "keep up the good work" and walked away :lol:
Eventually, someone helped him and took the bar off him, he came at me started pushing me and threatning me, we went outside again, this time I kicked his ****ing ass, that guy was screaming like a ***** :lol:
I went there for 2 more weeks then I stopped going to gyms and weights altogether, only calisthenics now.
Anyway the next few times he would hog a machine if he thought I wanted to use it, I'd do the same, it was getting old but funny, one day I was working in the back section and I'm going to fill my water bottle, I see him pushing out a good amount of weight on the flat bench and he kept slowing down and to my diabolical delight! the weight dropped on him!! slowly but it went all the way down to his chest!!! I was the happiest muther****er in the world!!:lol:
I thought about just walking away but then I decided against that and went over to him, lowered my head close to his, all red in the face struggling to get it off him, I just looked at him smiled and said "keep up the good work" and walked away :lol:
Eventually, someone helped him and took the bar off him, he came at me started pushing me and threatning me, we went outside again, this time I kicked his ****ing ass, that guy was screaming like a ***** :lol:
I went there for 2 more weeks then I stopped going to gyms and weights altogether, only calisthenics now.
thaOrleanyte
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Oooooooooommmmmmgggggggggg Nnnnoooooooo Wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy
thaOrleanyte
Well-known member
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That is by far the most badass thing i think i have ever heard in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really hate bullshitters!!!!!! Godamn it! *** SMASHING KEYBOARD AND CONVIENENTLY TYPING THIS********
I really hate bullshitters!!!!!! Godamn it! *** SMASHING KEYBOARD AND CONVIENENTLY TYPING THIS********
Omen
Banned
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:lol: seriously man, this was a gym in Egypt, the last real gym I've seen.
thaOrleanyte
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Yeah, did you see alexander the great there. O wait that was the library. Damnit! Still think you're full of ****.
Omen
Banned
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Nah, just the pyramids......
jakellpet
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Bullsh1ting or not, that just not cool in my books.
Each to their own I guess.
Each to their own I guess.
thaOrleanyte
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yeah if a guy i didnt like was struggling with weight and needed help........ i'd stab him in the kidneys.
jakellpet
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lol - what if it was a sheep?
thaOrleanyte
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a sheep. I'd shave him and make a nifty sweater! And then stab it where i think his kidneys might be.
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