How dare all of you use my hallowed journal for your own fodder! I can't be trifled with such childish log-hijacking, and I can't believe all of you would lower yourselves to such underhanded uncalled for nonsense!
ONLY JOKING KIDDOS! At least SOMEONE is posting in my Chronicle, since I'm not, bwa-ha-ha! If I were to say "I've been busy," it would sound like a generic excuse that everyone uses, and wouldn't come CLOSE to illustrating or portraying my true lack of free time.
I have been so inundated with work, and life as of late, I'm just a little overwhelmed.
I am having second thoughts about my overall desire to continue this contest prep - I have suffered a bout with wicked headaches, back pain, nausea, days of diarrhea, lack of sleep... and so on and so forth. I just feel as though my resolve is deteriorated, and I'm beginning to think about the true intentions I have for doing this show. If it is to be big, shredded, and have the attention of everyone in the room while I do my booty shake to some catchy hip hop, that's all fine and dandy, but is it worth another two and a half MONTHS of deprivation? These questions aren't rhetorical, I'm not making my closing arguments for stopping my 2012 contest prep, I have NEVER stopped anything once I have started - I am truly curious and contemplative whether or not my toils are being rightfully waged and endeavored.
If it comes down to fighting this constant weakness, lethargy, headaches, and misery watching all these barbeques with foods that bring a grown man to his knees pass by, then I can't justify watching life go by as I idly sit on my hands weighing out my chicken breasts and brown rice. I'm not a professional, I am not under any contract, and I lead the lifestyle of a bodybuilding on OR off-season, so it's not like I'm looking for an 'out' to gorge myself with pizza and cookie-cake every single day.
Right now, after a full month of dieting, 2-a-day cardio, and supplementation... I am lean, hard, and have what I consider my best look so far BY FAR, this far into my diet/prep. In the morning, or especially intra-workout, I am very round and dense. Continuing on would mean hundreds, and hundreds of dollars in tanning, spray tanning, NPC annual membership, contest entry fees, traveling fees, and on and on. I could still stay lean, and "re-diet" with increased intensity before the big yearly vacation to Las Vegas in September - so pool hopping during the Olympia weekend wouldn't be something I'd hesitate about.
Thoughts, feedback, anything else?