i haven't been to a meeting on 6 months, this may i'll have 4 years. i'm what the book calls a "real alcoholic" pg.33 if i remember correctly. for me, at some point i stopped needing to admit that i was an alcoholic and being reminded of it, i will never forget that fact. i know exactly what will happen if i take a drink again, at least mentally and physically. i do miss the fellowship, but there is something i have noticed though, at least for me. when i stopped using....my druggie friends fell off, no that i've stopped going to meetings....my AA friends have fell off. i'm not downing the program, i'm alive because of it, but it's odd that the more people claim to be different, the more they act the same as they did when they drank and used. i called them for about 3 months after i stopped going, and all they would ask is "how come you don't go anymore?" or "you wanna go to a meeting?" i miss helping people in that way. you know? walking them through the steps and such. but i think the steps were designed so that you could get back to society and be as normal as i'm ever gonna get. hope no one takes this negitively, i think it's positive, a message that "we" are not as different as "them". just cause i used to struggle with alcohol and drugs does not mean that people who don't, don't struggle with something else. we are all human and have difficulties, but i think that AA has giving me the drive to deal with whatever comes my way, where as i see people still struggle with the same things for a long time.