While the boss is away............Thread

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I just heard a reference to Milton Berle's legendary genitals on Family Guy. Season 2, Episode 12 "Fifteen Minutes of Shame"

Carry on.
 
bitterplacebo said:
I laughed at this. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
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I was 'laughing out loud' when I saw take the tumble, but start "Rolling on the floor Laughing my ass off" when he started shouting, "I goooot broken ankles, AHHHHHH!"

It also sounded like Tom Green :think:
 
FUN FACTS ABOUT BIG DICKS:

1. Richard Nixon didn’t have one. Not that we know of, anyway. Hahaha. Again with the kidding. In our heads, leading off with a big **** named “Dick” seemed funny. On the other hand, and speaking of dead dicks and/or presidents…

2. Lyndon Baines Johnson did have a big ****. One he used to flaunt, for intimidation purposes, during informal cabinet meetings. LBJ named his not-so-little friend Jumbo. That’s right, Jumbo. Speaking of “jumbos”…

3. Charlie Chaplain used to swing more than that jumbo-sized cane he was so famous for using in his film “The Little Tramp”. The highly prolific lover used to refer to his own 12 inch member as “the 8th Wonder of the World”. Imagine that. Speaking of well-hung funny men…

4. Groucho Marx, a man known for smoking really big cigars, apparently had something even bigger stored in his pants. Marx was certainly known as the master of sexual innuendo, and references throughout his films to his own sizable “cigar” popped up (heh) often. The “elephant in my pajamas” line, was one meant to allude to his own big trunk, we suspect. More obvious, perhaps, was something Groucho quipped in a scene of “A Night at the Opera” — when, while shredding paper to a certain size, he says “Mine’s a 12 1/2″. ba-dump-bump. Speaking of big bumps…

5. A number of famous leading ladies reported Gary Cooper was so well endowed, they could feel him swell up with, um, pride during love scenes, even through heavy skirts. Actress Clara Bow (his first lover of note) once of Coop, and we quote, “He was hung like a horse and could go all night“. Yowie. Speaking of horses…

6. Milton Berle, aka “Mr. Television”, may not have been the most attractive celebrity, but as the man dubbed “King **** of Hollywood”, it didn’t matter. Rumor has it Berle — who was certainly not shy about his “gift” — once offered it up as a “stand in” when the lead actor in a porn flick had a “performance issue”. Berle used to gleefully tell the story of how he was once confronted by a guy in a steam bath locker room who believed his own penis was bigger, and tried to goad Uncle Miltie into a bet. After a few minutes of pestering, Berle’s friend, who was in the room, too, said “Go ahead, Milton, just take out enough to win.” Whoa.
 
A source is the book Penis Size and Enlargement by Gary Griffin. [link:www.weeklywire.com/ww/01-24-00/boston_feature_1.html|This story] about Penis enargement summarizes the chapter about celebrities. Note that this page gives misleading information to sell a product.

Actors

Warren Beatty. "Women who have enjoyed Beatty's amorous advances swear that he is hung like a donkey."

Milton Berle. It's "a well-established fact" that " 'Uncle Miltie' is the King **** of Hollywood."

Humphrey Bogart. "Sources claim that he sported a pendulously long ****."

Michael Caine. The British actor "is also known to be a talented lover hung in the 8" (20 cm) range."

Willem Dafoe. "Star of Mississippi Burning and Platoon, Dafoe is as hung as he is talented."

Errol Flynn. "The late actor best-known for his salty swashbuckling roles delighted in exhibiting his manhood to close friends."

Harrison Ford. "A female reader . . . reports that the star of the Indiana Jones series, the Star Wars Trilogy, and the Fugitive is tremendously hung."

Cary Grant. "A former amanuensis of Cary Grant wrote to me, stating that . . . [Grant's] flaccid **** lied flat against his belly, almost
reaching his navel. A size 8 (20 cm)."

Don Johnson. "One look at the phallus that made Miami Vice a prime-time staple and you can see why Melanie Griffith married him
twice."

Steve Martin. "This 'wild and crazy' guy has no need to be modest in the locker room. Steve allegedly sports a size 8 (20 cm)."

Steve McQueen. According to one of his lovers: "Like two Coors beer cans welded together."

Eddie Murphy. "Star of Beverly Hills Cop, Murphy is known to be very well hung -- probably in the 8-9" (20-22 cm) range."

Liam Neeson. "His reputation as a truly BIG star is now widely disseminated."

Musicians

David Cassidy. "With monster phallic genes inherited from dad Jack Cassidy, it was inevitable that son David would be a 'chip off the old block.' "

Shaun Cassidy. "David isn't the only Cassidy boy with a lot to crow about. . . . A reader of an earlier edition of this book claims . . . 'a good approximation of his size is 8" (20 cm) in circumference and 9-91/2" (22-23 cm) in length.' "

Jimi Hendrix. "Rock's premier psychedelic guitarist was hung like a bull. Scores of groupies spread the word that his **** was 'damn near as big as his guitar.' "

Tom Jones. "Loyal fans fight for front-row tickets to get a glimpse of that legendary bulge in his peter-pinching tights."

Miscellaneous

Mikhail Baryshnikov. " 'A thick 91/2 " of Russian salami,' claims a former paramour."

Tom Brokaw. "I estimate his broadcast abilities to be a 9+."

Lyndon Baines Johnson. "Horsemen might be interested in knowing that LBJ may have had the crown champion of presidential cocks."

David Letterman. "The popular host of late-night television has been reported to sport an impressive penis in the 9" (22 cm) range."

Dan Rather. "He is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
 
Happy vs. Solano

The opener was a heavyweight match between Las Vegan Alfred Happy in his pro debut and Andrew Solano (0-1-0) of Denver, CO. I wish I could say that this was a good start to the night, but I can’t. Happy landed two jabs, the second of which dropped Solano to the canvas. The jab didn’t appear to land with any power, but Solano struggled to gain his feet and when Referee Jay Nady reached the count of ten he waived off the match. Solano was using the ropes to support himself at the time and Nady was closing observing his demeanor. This guy either has the worst chin in Heavyweight history or just wanted to collect his puny check and buffet ticket and head for home. In Solano’s only previous match he was KO’d at 1:34 of round 1. This time he only made it to 35 seconds. Unfortunately for Alfred Happy we don’t get to see if he has any skills to display. Perhaps next time they’ll put him up against a senior citizen in a wheel chair and he’ll get better competition. Happy leaves the ring with his first victory by TKO.
 
I see a smeton. Hey smeton, have you ever read Ultimate Warriors blogs and stuff? I think you would appreciate them.
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I remember in 5th grade they had the boys and girls split up and the teachers gave us the puberty lecture. Afterwards, all the boys got a free stick of deodorant, and the girls probably got a tampon or something. It was sweet.
 
bitterplacebo said:
I remember in 5th grade they had the boys and girls split up and the teachers gave us the puberty lecture. Afterwards, all the boys got a free stick of deodorant, and the girls probably got a tampon or something. It was sweet.
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Hahaha. We didn't get free gifts. I also remember taking ssex ed in 7th grade, and this class was joint.....
 
My girl has been teaching me to cook here recently. Today I helped make 4 loaves of banana nut bread.

WTF am I going to do with 4 loaves?

Oh and I found out if you are cooking something in a broth or stew and its too salty, toss in a skinned potato to absorb some of the salinity.

I also learned that its fun to search for dwarf and midget porn with my girlfriend. It was her idea while we waited for some pinto's to cook. Didn't see that one coming, and for the record neither of us could watch the amputee porn we stumbled upon.
 
Morning gents, beginning of the holiday week. Who's as excited as I am about mega-dosing turkey in a few days?:dump:
 
Dr Packenwood said:
My girl has been teaching me to cook here recently. Today I helped make 4 loaves of banana nut bread.

WTF am I going to do with 4 loaves?

Oh and I found out if you are cooking something in a broth or stew and its too salty, toss in a skinned potato to absorb some of the salinity.

I also learned that its fun to search for dwarf and midget porn with my girlfriend. It was her idea while we waited for some pinto's to cook. Didn't see that one coming, and for the record neither of us could watch the amputee porn we stumbled upon.
Click to expand...

You can give some loaves to people you know.
 
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