Guest viewing is limited

When the boss is away.......(CONTEST)

Status
Not open for further replies.
TO MY DEAR WIFE,

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
7 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because 6 times you just layed there, 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I had finished, and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move.
 
xjsynx said:
TO MY DEAR WIFE,

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
7 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because 6 times you just layed there, 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I had finished, and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move.
Click to expand...

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND,


I think you have things a little confused.
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to **** the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas whilst reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV

Of the times we did get together the reason I laid still was because you missed and were ****ing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
 
The Poo Guide


1. The Ghost Poo The kind of poo where you feel it come out and you know you've done it, but when you wipe, there is nothing on the paper and there is no poo in the toilet. Where did it go?
2. The Clean Poo The sort of poo which is so smooth and streamlined that it virtually falls out of your bottom. You can see poo in the toilet but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
3. The Hot Tar Poo The kind of poo where even after 50 wipes you are still getting staining on the paper so you have to put some bog roll between your bum cheeks and in your underwear to prevent skid marks.
4. The Second Thought Poo Just as you think you've finished your poo and have painstakingly wiped yourself clean and pulled your keks to the knee, you realise there is still some more poo to come out.
5. The Lincoln Log Poo The kind of poo that is so huge you're afraid that it will not flush down the toilet unless you break it up into little pieces with a stick. This poo only happens when you are at somebody else's house.
6. The Sweetcorn Poo Self explanatory.
7. The "I Wish I Could Poo" Poo You really feel as if you need to poo but every time you try, all you manage is a couple of farts.
8. The Side Birth or The Boo-Hoo Poo This poo hurts so much that you swear it is coming out sideways - your eyes water and you will probably need stitches.
9. The Fishermans Bobber or
Floating Poo You do your poo and flush two times but there are still several golf-ball size pieces floating above the water line.
10. The Sultana Poo This type of poo is really frustrating. You get yourself prepared for a "Side-Birth, and spend about half an hour sweating it out on the bog, but all you manage in the end is a small plop resembling a sultana.
 
WHEN THE BODY WAS FIRST MADE
ALL ITS PARTS WANTED TO BE BOSS...


THE BRAIN SAID : Since I control everything and do all the work I should be boss.

THE FEET SAID : Since I carry man where he wants to go and get him to do what the Brain wants, I should Be boss.

THE HANDS SAID : Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep all the rest of you going, I should be boss.

THE EYES SAID : Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where danger lurks, I should be boss.

And so it went with the Heart, the Ears, and the Lungs. Finally the a55h0l3 spoke up and demanded that he be boss. All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of an a55h0l3 being boss.

The a55h0l3 was so angered that he blocked himself off and refused to function. Soon the Brain was feverish, the Eyes crossed and ached, the Feet were too weak to walk, the Hands hung limply at his side, the Heart and Lungs struggled to keep going.

All pleaded with the Brain to relent and let the a55h0l3 be boss, and so it happened. All parts did the work and the a55h0l3 just bossed and passed out a lot of sh1t

MORAL : You don't have to be a brain to be boss, just an a55h0l3.
 
Anyone know if Grapefruit juice would work with Methylcobalamin?

I got some Abyss samples to try, wondering if GF would kick it up or not.
 
xjsynx said:
TO MY DEAR WIFE,

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
7 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because 6 times you just layed there, 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I had finished, and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move.
Click to expand...

I'm not an expert, but wouldn't there be more than 12 times that it was the wrong time of month if he attempted every day?
 
Yeah actually Tyrosine is good for regulating burnt out Stim receptors. In additon its anti-stress, boost norephephine, dopanine and some other chemcial I cant think of. Increases exercise perforance. Love the stuff. Dont take it with yohimbine I hear
 
smeton_yea said:
Yeah actually Tyrosine is good for regulating burnt out Stim receptors. In additon its anti-stress, boost norephephine, dopanine and some other chemcial I cant think of. Increases exercise perforance. Love the stuff. Dont take it with yohimbine I hear
Click to expand...

Cool, I'm thinking tyrosine, carnitine, 7-keto-dhea of some kind, and not sure what else in bulks, to round out what i already have + use (bcaas, beta alanine, creatines)
 
smeton_yea said:
Yeah actually Tyrosine is good for regulating burnt out Stim receptors. In additon its anti-stress, boost norephephine, dopanine and some other chemcial I cant think of. Increases exercise perforance. Love the stuff. Dont take it with yohimbine I hear
Click to expand...

I take it with Yohimbine all the time, as well as many fat burners on the market include the two compounds, because they are very synergistic.
 
smeton_yea said:
Yeah actually Tyrosine is good for regulating burnt out Stim receptors. In additon its anti-stress, boost norephephine, dopanine and some other chemcial I cant think of. Increases exercise perforance. Love the stuff. Dont take it with yohimbine I hear
Click to expand...

Fat burners with Tyrosine + Yohimbine

Leviathan
Tribulus Terrestris (80% Saponins; 20% Protodioscin)
Caffeine Anhydrous
3,3'-Diindolylmethane
Fenugreek
Coleus Forskohili 20%
L-Tyrosine
Bioperine™
Vitex
Cocoa Extract
Green Tea (70%)
Rhodiola Rosea Extract
Acacia Rigidula Extract
Yohimbine HCl

Redline
Caffeine Anhydrous
Glycerin Monooleate
Evoburn™ (Pure Evodiamine)
N-acetyl-L-Tyrosine
Guggulsterone E & Z
Green Tea
5-HTP (5-hydroxyl-L-tryptophan)
cAMP (adenosine cyclic 3',5'-monophosphate)
Vinpocetine
Yohimbine HCL

Adipo-X™ Proprietary Blend:
Caffeine Anhydrous USP, L-Tyrosine AKG, Raspberry Ketones 99%, Advantra Z® (Citrus Aurantium 30%), Capsaicin Extract (Cayenne), Yohimbe PE (8% Yohimbine), Paprika Extract, Ginger Root Extract (20% Gingerols), Coleus Forskohli (40% Forskolin), Green Tea (90% Polyphenols, 45% EGCG), Vinpocetine 99%, Bioperine®

There are more, but that is it for now
 
EasyEJL said:
Cool, I'm thinking tyrosine, carnitine, 7-keto-dhea of some kind, and not sure what else in bulks, to round out what i already have + use (bcaas, beta alanine, creatines)
Click to expand...

I hope you mean creatine. There is no reason for more then one, nor is there any reason for anything other than creatine mono.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top