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When the boss is away.......(CONTEST)

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Im back for a bit, some of those are great!!!

:D why thank you. plenty more where that came from. don't want the bad mother to get shut down, though. :(
 
Current contests on the table:
1. My favorite workout song- post 2176. Bottle of Neovar to the winner....
2. 1st post on page #75 gets to oil buff at his contest in October.... Buff has requested multiple winners...
3. My cryptic message referred to as a "scramble" by some of you..... what could it mean?
4. Post #2500....
5. Post #3500....

Let's add:

6. Buff, add a contest for a bottle of Osteobolin-C for me, my man.........

Just to reiterate for anyone.
 
The "scramble" isn't a scramble. If you look at lanbane's posts about it, he quotes the scramble part. Also, I think its phonetic, perhaps related to talking like a pirate, or perhaps scottish or welsh? that sort of accent
 
if you can REiterate...can you iterate just once?

What's the speed of dark?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to
buy her friends?

Why are they called stands when there
made for sitting?

Why are a wise-man and a wise-guy
opposites?

If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it
still #2?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.

If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?
 
What's the speed of dark?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to
buy her friends?

Why are they called stands when there
made for sitting?

Why are a wise-man and a wise-guy
opposites?

If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it
still #2?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.

If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?

Good stuff! LOL
 
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

Can you slam a revolving door?

Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?

If you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
 
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?''

Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?
 
this is it for now :D

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Why do they put Braille dots on the key pads of the drive-up ATM machine?

Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you trasport something by ship it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that's used on airplanes? Why can't they make the whoe plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for and address,you turn the radio down?
 
Lets try for the favorite workout songs, and hit both at once

Van Halen's Hot For Teacher
Fergie Fergalicious

may as well shoot for the 10 bottle win eh?
 
Jaime had never realised that trees made a sound when they grew, and no-one else had realised it either, because the sound is made over hundreds of years in waves of twenty-four hours from peak to peak. Speed it up, and the sound a tree makes is *vrooom*.
-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)
 
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