What do i do? (Deepiest thread post this year)

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DemonDevster

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Welcome to the **** show

So i am currently a university student second year **** ton of work. My mum has had cancer on and off for 10 years currently im 23 to give you an idea of how it kinda ****ed with me (very draining).

Mum got given basically a death sentence she has been told by doctors she has weeks maybe at a push months left to live (cancer became immune to chemo). Girl friend has been a fridge when it comes to sex so im double stressed the **** out.
Feeling sick most days and even sicker when i visit my mum as everytime i see her she is more rapidly degenerating physically looking worst and worst due to the cancer having infected her liver as well as spread through her whole body. I am starting to dread visiting her as it physically hurts to see this.

Just got back with my gf after going on a break as i need her as support as my real dad is a dead beat mofo who lives in america and just does week and drink every day.

Training in maybe 3 times a week max as i have been getting increased anxiety for social situations due to the my mum degrading state as well as stress from lack of sex plus work from uni dod have a job as well but they stabbed me in the back so i had to quit.

(Also grandad died last year the same day mum announced her death sentence this year so shook af)

3 options which should i take.

Option 1 (dont want todo) take rest of year off uni high likely hood of depression. Stay with support gf. Go on holidays in exotic places to help clear my mind maybe take up yoga or something zen

Option 2. Bin off support gf. Get on steroid cycle just test as that made me more of a rough edge aka less emotion and less prone to emotional feelings. Keep at uni visit mum when possible take my stress out by getting new destroy her emotionally due to what im going through effecting her so much

Option 3 bin off support gf. concentrate on uni maybe adderal it for abit. Burn 2 ends of the candle for abit to relieve stress keep only gyming 3 times a week. Find another way to relieve stress.

Option 4 you give me an idea as i am lost and mentally crippled from 10 years of watching my mum finally loose to cancer
 
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BlockBuilder

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I’ve been having a rough time recently also. I really don’t have a response just want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this. I really am
 
justhere4comm

justhere4comm

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It may be best to seek a talk therapist.
 
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DemonDevster

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I’ve been having a rough time recently also. I really don’t have a response just want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this. I really am
Yeah i am stuck on what i should do as it just makes me feel physically sick and i havent really been eating much.
 
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BlockBuilder

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I think justthere4comm is right. I think I need to see a therapist also. It’s a good idea
 
Aleksandar37

Aleksandar37

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A steroid cycle is the absolute last thing you need right now. First, your mom needs your support as much as possible right now. Dealing with people who have terminal disease isn't easy, especially when it's somebody that you love, but you need to be there even if it is hard for you. I would keep working out to help with the stress and stay in school if you can. As justhere4comm said, find a therapist whether that is a counselor or psychiatrist. You need to speak with a professional and please don't be adding adderall into the mix. There are also support groups out there specifically for people who have loved ones that have or had cancer.
 
muscleupcrohn

muscleupcrohn

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If you’re still going to class and not failing, I wouldn’t drop the classes if you can help it. Keeping busy can help you handle things; an idle mind is often the worst thing you can have.

You also don’t want to dump your GF if she’s a good person and there for you. But also don’t expect her to be super exciting and enthusiastic in bed with you if, as you said yourself, you’re (understandably) depressed/unenthusiastic/stressed/etc. it takes two to tango, and you’re probably not exactly on your A-game right now.

Never use drugs, which steroids are, to cope with tragedy. Not to mention if grieving takes longer than your cycle, the last thing you need is to be in PCT with messed up hormones and still be emotional and depressed. Plus you’re in no state of mind to dedicate sufficient time and effort into the training and diet that are necessary for a cycle. Without those, you’ll just screw up your hormones and be worse off than before.
 
rascal14

rascal14

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Number one out of those options for sure. It is best to not use drugs or other unhealthy coping mechanisms, especially premeditated? that probably doesn't actually make sense here but can't think of the right word. Basically saying in advance, "I will either use drug x or y to cope with my emotions." before they even happen.


100% go see your schools therapist. Most universities offer free or very cheap therapy sessions to students. I don't see that taking a year off is necessary (although if you feel it's best, that's up to you), but I would talk to your professors and let them know what is going on. A lot of times they will be understanding if you tell them of these things, especially if you go in saying you are actively going to therapy to help deal with the situation.
 
thebigt

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if your mom has less than a month to live she should be your #1 priority.

25 years ago I was a miserable drunk and missed my grandmothers funeral...I will regret that for the rest of my life.

if you aren't there for your mother you will regret it, I promise you this!!!
 
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