Please dont tear me down lol

[HIT4ME]

That speech motivated me to screw on my colostomy bag and get me some young bunnies.

Wait, you are pretty old and kind of live on the edge...you got 20 years?

 

[hairygrandpa]

Me? Old? I'm so young, I still wait that hair appears on my head.
If OP comes down where I live, I'll find him a wife instantly.
A hot Latina with a big butt and long hair. Only down side is, she comes with a huge, needy family.

 

[Bk1991]

Ah man, reading all these responses, you guys are great honestly, I`d like to thank all of you for the great tips and insight, and the motivational words of wisdom

In regards to seeing a psycologist, I do think im over my issues , but when one goes through severe depression and comesout of it, I do believe you lose a part of your old self, you dont come out unscathed.

Funny thing is I`m also a doctor, but I also have self harm scars back from 7 years ago, when I had my problems, and these scars are no small ones, Ive about 14 hypertrophic scars on my upper arm, and hundreds of smaller ones.

And the reason I want to be with a girl so bad , is two found, one just to get it over with, not being with a girl for 28 yrs is a long time, and when I went out with that girl who was a solid 8/10 to me anyway it was my first date in 28 years.
Second thing is , is to be loved, I ve seen others said that real love is hard to find, but im sure most guys have had at least 1 good week with a girl minmimum before thigns went tits up

I also hard childhood with some phycical abuse but mostly emotional . And by mam was affected byt his too, so having hugs or any physical contact never really happned in our house, the most it probably got to was shaking hands, so you coudl say I`m just looking for that emotional connection or somoen to liek me for who I am

I think I can read myself pretty well, and the reasonign I just put up, if it makes sense

 

[hairygrandpa]

Ah man, reading all these responses, you guys are great honestly, I`d like to thank all of you for the great tips and insight, and the motivational words of wisdom

In regards to seeing a psycologist, I do think im over my issues , but when one goes through severe depression and comesout of it, I do believe you lose a part of your old self, you dont come out unscathed.

Funny thing is I`m also a doctor, but I also have self harm scars back from 7 years ago, when I had my problems, and these scars are no small ones, Ive about 14 hypertrophic scars on my upper arm, and hundreds of smaller ones.

And the reason I want to be with a girl so bad , is two found, one just to get it over with, not being with a girl for 28 yrs is a long time, and when I went out with that girl who was a solid 8/10 to me anyway it was my first date in 28 years.
Second thing is , is to be loved, I ve seen others said that real love is hard to find, but im sure most guys have had at least 1 good week with a girl minmimum before thigns went tits up

I also hard childhood with some phycical abuse but mostly emotional . And by mam was affected byt his too, so having hugs or any physical contact never really happned in our house, the most it probably got to was shaking hands, so you coudl say I`m just looking for that emotional connection or somoen to liek me for who I am

I think I can read myself pretty well, and the reasonign I just put up, if it makes sense

You have everything going for you. Good body, doctor, probably more hair on your head than I do... I mean, what else do you need? Get more social, meet people and all falls into place. A little phenibut may help with socializing.

 

[HIT4ME]

I mean it seriously when I say this is an economics issue. You have had one date and that person seems like an 8/10.

If you had 100 of those that you could pick up the phone and call right now - and this one went tits up, you would be like....plenty more where that came from, her loss.

When you only have 1 in your stable, it gets bigger and better than it is. This is true of everything of value - build your options.

Plus, a guy with options instantly becomes more valuable. They appear to be more in demand, like they cannot miss their opportunity or another chick will snatch you up.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and come a long way! But I still get the feeling a real person could be really helpful her, a professional. We all need support and it sounds like, in spite of your pwn strength, you haven't had that support and now you have to take some steps to build that. Having someone who isn't a friend or family member, who is just there to give you business advice on how to build that team could be helpful.

 

[ChocolateClen]

Women are like cars. Some are beautiful but when you drive them, they really aren’t all that great after all.

 

[SFreed]

I mean it seriously when I say this is an economics issue. You have had one date and that person seems like an 8/10.

If you had 100 of those that you could pick up the phone and call right now - and this one went tits up, you would be like....plenty more where that came from, her loss.

When you only have 1 in your stable, it gets bigger and better than it is. This is true of everything of value - build your options.

Plus, a guy with options instantly becomes more valuable. They appear to be more in demand, like they cannot miss their opportunity or another chick will snatch you up.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and come a long way! But I still get the feeling a real person could be really helpful her, a professional. We all need support and it sounds like, in spite of your pwn strength, you haven't had that support and now you have to take some steps to build that. Having someone who isn't a friend or family member, who is just there to give you business advice on how to build that team could be helpful.

Jeff is right. Take it from a recently divorced, single for the first time in 36 years guy. There are plenty of interested women out there. Get out where they are, have fun and don't settle for the first one who shows interest. You're the one in control.

 

[hairygrandpa]

My tinder profile would say:

"My dream woman has her own opinions -and is strong enough, keeping them to herself."

 

[HIT4ME]

Jeff is right. Take it from a recently divorced, single for the first time in 36 years guy. There are plenty of interested women out there. Get out where they are, have fun and don't settle for the first one who shows interest. You're the one in control.

And when they start leaving their toothbrush in your bathroom, kick them to the curb!

 

[SFreed]

And when they start leaving their toothbrush in your bathroom, kick them to the curb!

"Have you seen my toothbrush?"
No. Have you looked in your bathroom?

Classic. Thanks for the laugh

 

[chem.jr.]

My tinder profile would say:

"My dream woman has her own opinions -and is strong enough, keeping them to herself."

Fkn a HGP nails it again!

And to OP, you really should seek some professional help regardless of whether or not you are a doctor because the fact that you are a doctor could very well be the reason why you don't think you need to and could be all the more reason why you do need to. Honestly, everyone should get a 3 to 5-year check up and go fendt a bunch of bulshit to a professional to make sure they don't go postal or something along those lines hurt themselves or someone else because life is a mother. Also the best shrink I ever saw was an old Holocaust victim who never had anything to complain about and was the most even-tempered person I have ever met and even he went to go see a shrink a couple of times a year just to check in. It's just like a car or a house or anything else in this world, if you want it to be decent and nice to you then you have to feed it nice and take care of it whether that be your house your car your girlfriend your dog whatever. So basically I hope you go see somebody whether you think you need to or not. If nothing else it will help confirm some of the things you've heard here.

 

[ChocolateClen]

"Have you seen my toothbrush?"
No. Have you looked in your bathroom?

Classic. Thanks for the laugh

Dude where the Fork have you been?

 

[HIT4ME]

Fkn a HGP nails it again!

And to OP, you really should seek some professional help regardless of whether or not you are a doctor because the fact that you are a doctor could very well be the reason why you don't think you need to and could be all the more reason why you do need to. Honestly, everyone should get a 3 to 5-year check up and go fendt a bunch of bulshit to a professional to make sure they don't go postal or something along those lines hurt themselves or someone else because life is a mother. Also the best shrink I ever saw was an old Holocaust victim who never had anything to complain about and was the most even-tempered person I have ever met and even he went to go see a shrink a couple of times a year just to check in. It's just like a car or a house or anything else in this world, if you want it to be decent and nice to you then you have to feed it nice and take care of it whether that be your house your car your girlfriend your dog whatever. So basically I hope you go see somebody whether you think you need to or not. If nothing else it will help confirm some of the things you've heard here.

I hadn't really thought about this - but I have a friend who is a doctor and he moved back home about a year or so ago. Before coming home he was practicing in a tough area with a lower income and you can tell that really messed him up. He has alluded to situations where he wanted to help people, but they had a certain way of life and didn't want the real help - all he could do is prescribe something. Like, "Here's your prescription for your anti-depressant. Have fun going home and getting beat up." He is the kind of guy that wants to help people and I think he is a way better doctor then he realizes - but you can tell it took a big toll. Doctors have a harder job then we give them credit for a lot of times.

Dude where the Fork have you been?

Yeah - he has been kind of laying low. This board has been missing a huge piece without him. No-homo.

 

[Bk1991]

Fkn a HGP nails it again!

And to OP, you really should seek some professional help regardless of whether or not you are a doctor because the fact that you are a doctor could very well be the reason why you don't think you need to and could be all the more reason why you do need to. Honestly, everyone should get a 3 to 5-year check up and go fendt a bunch of bulshit to a professional to make sure they don't go postal or something along those lines hurt themselves or someone else because life is a mother. Also the best shrink I ever saw was an old Holocaust victim who never had anything to complain about and was the most even-tempered person I have ever met and even he went to go see a shrink a couple of times a year just to check in. It's just like a car or a house or anything else in this world, if you want it to be decent and nice to you then you have to feed it nice and take care of it whether that be your house your car your girlfriend your dog whatever. So basically I hope you go see somebody whether you think you need to or not. If nothing else it will help confirm some of the things you've heard here.

I see what your meaning, but going to a shrink doesnt really help stuff, all they do is listen to your story and give a bit of advice.

I know what my problem is, and its being alone my whole life, even people who are less fortunate have some emotional supports or a girlfriends in their lives to get them hard tough times(not everyone ofc, I know some people have really terrible lives, its not a comparison contest lol)

But yh, until I find someone , I dont think its going to fix the emptiness. And I knwo just finding someone will not automatically cure everything, itll take time and will be a work in progress.

But when I`m alone, I do feel broken, and think what a waste most of my 28 yrs have been. most peopel have alot of relationships by the time theyre at my age, you basically share a part of yourself and put yourslef into a part of antohers persons life, be it for good or bad lol.
I`ve literally had nothing my whole life, and its f***ing pissing me of big time, and im letting it control everyhting as you can see, which is nto healthy.

But as I said Ive build myself up from scratch when I was at the bottom a few years ago, I`ve been patient that somethign would come along, but after all this time still nothing, so yh............

 

[Jeremyk1]

Holy crap. Stop defining yourself based on relationships.

 

[MrKleen73]

First regardless of how it sounds like I think I am stating facts, it is just how I write. So all of the below is MY OPINION.

Man, I am sorry, you need therapy badly. Not gonna sit here and placate you. Therapy does not often give you advice, they make you walk through your emotions and come to your own realizations and answers through guided questions. They never tell you what you should feel or anything like that.

I am sure you are out of the emergency phase of your depression but you are obviously still depressed. Everything you are saying shows this. You may not be anywhere near as bad but you stopped at what you could progress at alone and said yup this is fixed... NO it isn't.

Having had a rough go of it myself as a kid I feel like you are wrong about coming through a depression and forever being messed up or lesser of a person. If you actually go through the recovery you will be the strongest version of yourself. Stronger for having gone through it and dealing with the real issues. Far more resilient. Does that mean you will never have those feeling resurface? No it does not but you will be capable of dealing with it in healthier ways. You must see mental health as a weakness or something if you do not want to go to therapy out of pride. Pride kills brother...

I lived in a mental health facility for almost 4 months due to severe emotional issues, and went to support groups for years after. So I am speaking from experience here. I am stronger and happier having gone through it. I probably would not be alive today if I hadn't and I definitely would not be a fully functional and productive person had I not only dealt with those things but learned how to deal with and overcome the other challenges in life that are inevitable.

Also being a doctor is not anything like being a therapist. I mean would you go to a gynecologist to get your eyes checked. No because they are not qualified, and neither is an MD qualified to make decisions based on psychology. Plus you simply can not be objective about your own situation. Like they say when in the forest you can't see the forest for all the trees... In other words, you are too close to see the big picture.

You mention wanting even as little as a week of love or not having things go poorly for a week and comparing that to love. That ain't love, that is a distraction from your own emotions. You need to get yourself together in that particular aspect before looking for someone you can gush over to avoid dealing with your own emotions. That could go toxic for both of you very quickly and make your depression far worse, perhaps even returning to an urge to self mutilate. I know, I used to do a bit of that too. Therapy helped... A LOT!

Anyway brother, I hope you knock the pride down and go get some help.

Other than those suggestions, I am willing to bet that you do not show any affection, or flirting behaviors that show these people you are truly interested in them because those things were never expressed to you as a child. Probably makes you come off as disinterested and apathetic. A woman wants to feel wanted and if you can not make them feel that way they will not stick around regardless of how attractive you may be to them physically. So smile more, compliment them, make safe and friendly physical contact if they seem open to it from the flirting. Make them feel special instead of wanting them to make you feel like you are. Then you will become special to them simply because of how you make them feel. Bottom line you have to come out of your shell, be the opposite of what your parents were regarding affection and women will enjoy your company more.

 

[HIT4ME]

I am not trying to pile on here, as I know it can really be hard to have a hole bunch of people telling you that you need help or this or that. I mean, having one person say that can be pretty devastating. And we could all be wrong...possibly.

But - the way you describe love is like a drug, and I suspect an expectation created from watching movies, etc.

What you need is more human interaction - and more of the practice that comes with it. I mean, given all of your feelings right now, how can you possibly be comfortable with anyone on a date? Dating is a charged event as it is, so with all of these emotions there is no way you can be comfortable. And if you're not comfortable, it does not set you up for a positive interaction. People sense that stuff - you need to be comfortable so that others can be comfortable with you.

I have gone through some times of depression. I have gotten help. I have refused help. I have had thoughts I'd rather not admit. I have been broken and weak at times. I have things that still "aren't right" within me from some things that have happened.

I am concerned for you, since I can't sit next to you and hang out and see how you are actually doing, but therapy isn't to "fix what is wrong" or to "fix you" - it is to provide support in a time when you could really use it and the people around you aren't helping enough. Guess what? I do think a lot of people in society drop the ball on helping others. Many of them are in the same spot you are in and can't even get their own head above water, so they cannot help someone else.

Therapy can be a support system when OTHERS have failed you. It can be hard to trust that someone else might help, because ...well, you've been let down a lot. But hopefully the fact that people on a website that you have never met care enough to BEG you to see someone who can site face to face with you and help you, shows that not everyone will let you down.

We aren't saying 100% something is wrong. We can't see you. Just like you cannot see someone's heart when they are having a heart attack. Do you say, "Well, it hurts but let's just wait and see before we go to the doctors". As a doctor you would probably say, "Get in here now, don't be a hero!" And you wouldn't say, "Lets wait on an ecg and see if you make it through."

We cannot assess you, we are not qualified and our hands are tied even if we were because it is over a computer. To me, you are a 24" computer screen. Yet, I still have concern.

But here is the other thing you aren't thinking of - because you can't get your head above water maybe - but if you can get through this, you can HELP SOMEONE ELSE GET THROUGH IT. You can be like the people I mentioned above who don't help others because they cannot get their own head above water, or you can get the system you need to get your own head above water so that you can get out there and help another person. This is your chance to overcome and make things better for the next person.

I view therapy as a temporary support system, while you get rid of the people in your life who aren't supporting you and find new people that do support you. WE ALL NEED SUPPORT. The 5 people you spend the most time with will determine your quality of life - whether you are a homeless person or the richest man. You need better people around you, and you need someone who can support you while you build that system.

 

[Bk1991]

First regardless of how it sounds like I think I am stating facts, it is just how I write. So all of the below is MY OPINION.

Man, I am sorry, you need therapy badly. Not gonna sit here and placate you. Therapy does not often give you advice, they make you walk through your emotions and come to your own realizations and answers through guided questions. They never tell you what you should feel or anything like that.

I am sure you are out of the emergency phase of your depression but you are obviously still depressed. Everything you are saying shows this. You may not be anywhere near as bad but you stopped at what you could progress at alone and said yup this is fixed... NO it isn't.

Having had a rough go of it myself as a kid I feel like you are wrong about coming through a depression and forever being messed up or lesser of a person. If you actually go through the recovery you will be the strongest version of yourself. Stronger for having gone through it and dealing with the real issues. Far more resilient. Does that mean you will never have those feeling resurface? No it does not but you will be capable of dealing with it in healthier ways. You must see mental health as a weakness or something if you do not want to go to therapy out of pride. Pride kills brother...

I lived in a mental health facility for almost 4 months due to severe emotional issues, and went to support groups for years after. So I am speaking from experience here. I am stronger and happier having gone through it. I probably would not be alive today if I hadn't and I definitely would not be a fully functional and productive person had I not only dealt with those things but learned how to deal with and overcome the other challenges in life that are inevitable.

Also being a doctor is not anything like being a therapist. I mean would you go to a gynecologist to get your eyes checked. No because they are not qualified, and neither is an MD qualified to make decisions based on psychology. Plus you simply can not be objective about your own situation. Like they say when in the forest you can't see the forest for all the trees... In other words, you are too close to see the big picture.

You mention wanting even as little as a week of love or not having things go poorly for a week and comparing that to love. That ain't love, that is a distraction from your own emotions. You need to get yourself together in that particular aspect before looking for someone you can gush over to avoid dealing with your own emotions. That could go toxic for both of you very quickly and make your depression far worse, perhaps even returning to an urge to self mutilate. I know, I used to do a bit of that too. Therapy helped... A LOT!

Anyway brother, I hope you knock the pride down and go get some help.

Other than those suggestions, I am willing to bet that you do not show any affection, or flirting behaviors that show these people you are truly interested in them because those things were never expressed to you as a child. Probably makes you come off as disinterested and apathetic. A woman wants to feel wanted and if you can not make them feel that way they will not stick around regardless of how attractive you may be to them physically. So smile more, compliment them, make safe and friendly physical contact if they seem open to it from the flirting. Make them feel special instead of wanting them to make you feel like you are. Then you will become special to them simply because of how you make them feel. Bottom line you have to come out of your shell, be the opposite of what your parents were regarding affection and women will enjoy your company more.

I think from my depression I defintely am stronger, in this current job due to anti social hours, i`ve been mostly alone for 1 year, and the only reason i got through it not too badly affected, was because of my past experience with depression made me more resilient and able to stand being alone, most people cant take not having a social life and crumble.

But honestly you guys have no idea how much I appreicate your inputs and taking the time to give some very deep and insightful points, I`ll give the therapy a shot if I think im about to go off the edge, or sooner before it gets to that, but I think I`ll be fine.

In regards to your last paragraph, that is me 100%, need work on being more affectionate defintely, and to learn how to flirt lol, its hard showing emotion due to my past, but I`m sure given the chance and with practise I should be able to overcome it.
I`m actually feeling better already and mostly over that last girl, I`ve learnt alot, and have an idea what to do next time

 

[SFreed]

Just be you man. Hope things work out.

 

[hairygrandpa]

Just be you man. Hope things work out.

I would advise OP: "Just be me."

 

[Bk1991]

I am not trying to pile on here, as I know it can really be hard to have a hole bunch of people telling you that you need help or this or that. I mean, having one person say that can be pretty devastating. And we could all be wrong...possibly.

But - the way you describe love is like a drug, and I suspect an expectation created from watching movies, etc.

What you need is more human interaction - and more of the practice that comes with it. I mean, given all of your feelings right now, how can you possibly be comfortable with anyone on a date? Dating is a charged event as it is, so with all of these emotions there is no way you can be comfortable. And if you're not comfortable, it does not set you up for a positive interaction. People sense that stuff - you need to be comfortable so that others can be comfortable with you.

I have gone through some times of depression. I have gotten help. I have refused help. I have had thoughts I'd rather not admit. I have been broken and weak at times. I have things that still "aren't right" within me from some things that have happened.

I am concerned for you, since I can't sit next to you and hang out and see how you are actually doing, but therapy isn't to "fix what is wrong" or to "fix you" - it is to provide support in a time when you could really use it and the people around you aren't helping enough. Guess what? I do think a lot of people in society drop the ball on helping others. Many of them are in the same spot you are in and can't even get their own head above water, so they cannot help someone else.

Therapy can be a support system when OTHERS have failed you. It can be hard to trust that someone else might help, because ...well, you've been let down a lot. But hopefully the fact that people on a website that you have never met care enough to BEG you to see someone who can site face to face with you and help you, shows that not everyone will let you down.

We aren't saying 100% something is wrong. We can't see you. Just like you cannot see someone's heart when they are having a heart attack. Do you say, "Well, it hurts but let's just wait and see before we go to the doctors". As a doctor you would probably say, "Get in here now, don't be a hero!" And you wouldn't say, "Lets wait on an ecg and see if you make it through."

We cannot assess you, we are not qualified and our hands are tied even if we were because it is over a computer. To me, you are a 24" computer screen. Yet, I still have concern.

But here is the other thing you aren't thinking of - because you can't get your head above water maybe - but if you can get through this, you can HELP SOMEONE ELSE GET THROUGH IT. You can be like the people I mentioned above who don't help others because they cannot get their own head above water, or you can get the system you need to get your own head above water so that you can get out there and help another person. This is your chance to overcome and make things better for the next person.

I view therapy as a temporary support system, while you get rid of the people in your life who aren't supporting you and find new people that do support you. WE ALL NEED SUPPORT. The 5 people you spend the most time with will determine your quality of life - whether you are a homeless person or the richest man. You need better people around you, and you need someone who can support you while you build that system.

Just wanted to say thank you for this post, I can see you put alot of thought , and you worded it very nicely as not to offend me(which I dont mind) but appreciate what you did, and how polite you wrote it.

Genuinley this post really touched , if i could give you a super like or whatver they have i would, but cant see any special button, I`m feeling better since my original post, mostly gotten over her, need to get my act together and find someone somehow.

Anybody up for critiquing my tinder profile?

 

[HIT4ME]

Just wanted to say thank you for this post, I can see you put alot of thought , and you worded it very nicely as not to offend me(which I dont mind) but appreciate what you did, and how polite you wrote it.

Genuinley this post really touched , if i could give you a super like or whatver they have i would, but cant see any special button, I`m feeling better since my original post, mostly gotten over her, need to get my act together and find someone somehow.

Anybody up for critiquing my tinder profile?

Thanks brother, glad if anything we say on here can help! Lots of good people in this group, and they have supported me in a bunch so I am just happy if I can give back.

As far as the tinder profile...get it up here if you want and I am sure you will get plenty of options for changes! @ChocolateClen and @SFreed may be your guys there! I am about to turn 40 and haven't been on a date in...wait...carry the one...nah, I lost count.

 

[hairygrandpa]

Anybody up for critiquing my tinder profile?

Thanks brother, glad if anything we say on here can help! Lots of good people in this group, and they have supported me in a bunch so I am just happy if I can give back.

As far as the tinder profile...get it up here if you want and I am sure you will get plenty of options for changes! @ChocolateClen and @SFreed may be your guys there! I am about to turn 40 and haven't been on a date in...wait...carry the one...nah, I lost count.

I'm glad you didn't mention me, I only attract the weird ones.

 

[ChocolateClen]

Thanks brother, glad if anything we say on here can help! Lots of good people in this group, and they have supported me in a bunch so I am just happy if I can give back.

As far as the tinder profile...get it up here if you want and I am sure you will get plenty of options for changes! @ChocolateClen and @SFreed may be your guys there! I am about to turn 40 and haven't been on a date in...wait...carry the one...nah, I lost count.

I smashed women left and right while in the hood hauling rice. Idek my body count to be honest. Probably have aids but it was worth it.

I’d help out with the profile though, met my fiancé on there

 

[SFreed]

Lol at @ChocolateClen carrying rice through the hood!! We all thought you were black for the longest time!

 

[ChocolateClen]

Lol at @ChocolateClen carrying rice through the hood!! We all thought you were black for the longest time!

Did y’all dirty, y’all thought chocolate was supposed be my skin color lol I laughed so damn hard that day

 

[Bk1991]

Alright tell me what needs to be done, don't hold back,

http://imgur.com/a/H3wtrmz

 

[ChocolateClen]

Can’t seem to see it man

 

[ChocolateClen]

Can’t seem to see it man

 

[Bk1991]

Can’t seem to see it man

http://imgur.com/a/H3wtrmz

 

[MrKleen73]

Yeah man, it is not your looks you should be confident in that. Hope you find what you are looking for. In the end though make sure to show interest if you can do that while being you then you have a winning combination. Keep an eye on the loneliness in a crowd situation. Oh not sure if they have anything like this where you are but here we have a group called Single Adventure Club. They schedule all these cool events, activities and mixers and everyone there is single. It seems like a good way to meet other singles if not great in one on one situations because you are doing a fun activity and not all in your own head about how you should be acting in order to get someones affections.

If I were single that is what I would be doing. They go on hikes, boating, skydiving, have mixers at bars, rent out resorts. All kinds of stuff. Might feel like less pressure in that situation because you are having fun regardless which will make you smile which will make you seem more available and approachable.

 

[hairygrandpa]

I gonna put the finger in the wound, absolutely no dissing intended:

I guess your heritage, its too obvious in the pic. A lot of people are shallow and have a negative predisposition towards the "orient" (Arab/Muslim) . Unless, of course, you are looking specifically for a woman from your ancestral part of the globe.
If not:
-choose a neutral surrounding
-look into camera
-mention you are a doc
-mention some hobbies

That's it.

 

[Bk1991]

I gonna put the finger in the wound, absolutely no dissing intended:

I guess your heritage, its too obvious in the pic. A lot of people are shallow and have a negative predisposition towards the "orient" (Arab/Muslim) . Unless, of course, you are looking specifically for a woman from your ancestral part of the globe.
If not:
-choose a neutral surrounding
-look into camera
-mention you are a doc
-mention some hobbies

That's it.

Dont worry about it, I`ve come to that conclusion myself now , thats only think that I can figure out is not working lol, I dont see anything wrong with my looks, im pretty built compared to most people here, And my personality is pretty good, im not some weirdo I know how to communicate lol.

You can see in my pics I have 5 more, you can scroll with arrow button, I have mentioned I`m a doctor its in bottom of pics

 

[hairygrandpa]

Dont worry about it, I`ve come to that conclusion myself now , thats only think that I can figure out is not working lol, I dont see anything wrong with my looks, im pretty built compared to most people here, And my personality is pretty good, im not some weirdo I know how to communicate lol.

You can see in my pics I have 5 more, you can scroll with arrow button, I have mentioned I`m a doctor its in bottom of pics

I think you are a good guy too -and a lottery win for a good girl.
A nature background -or anything unrelated to your cultural upbringing will do.
I bet you will have a avalanche of offers. Pardon my earlier mention: "I let Muslims have all the virgins...", if it comforts you, I mock all religions equally.

 

[ChocolateClen]

Put up pics of you not looking in to the camera but like doing stuff like rock climbing or hiking etc. no woman wants to see the same picture but with a different background.

Come up with a clever pun or something about you being a doc, and convo starters are always good with those too.

 

[HIT4ME]

I think you are a good guy too -and a lottery win for a good girl.
A nature background -or anything unrelated to your cultural upbringing will do.
I bet you will have a avalanche of offers. Pardon my earlier mention: "I let Muslims have all the virgins...", if it comforts you, I mock all religions equally.

How does that foot taste after a long day on the farm @hairygrandpa? I am sure the fact that the grumpy, bald German mocks all religions is extremely comforting to him. Germans and religions don't have much history at all...oh, wait...nevermind.

(sorry to anyone if my humor is overboard.. I know the OP and HGP can both take it haha)

Put up pics of you not looking in to the camera but like doing stuff like rock climbing or hiking etc. no woman wants to see the same picture but with a different background.

Come up with a clever pun or something about you being a doc, and convo starters are always good with those too.

This. Get out and do some stuff and ask some people to just take photos of your adventures maybe? Stuff where you are doing something a chick could be doing too...like climbing, hiking, whatever. Ok, I am talking out my rear because I don't have pictures of myself hardly at all, and I don't hike myself! haha.

But yeah, adventure pics.

Also, is that really how Tinder looks? I wouldn't think that "Free medical advice" or, "moving to the front of the line if you do end up in the hospital" are compelling in most daily situations. You will certainly attract the person on Tinder who is having an ischemic event thought.

I could be wrong...is that the culture nowadays?

What kinds of things would your ideal woman do? What would she be looking for??

 

[ChocolateClen]

I can’t see his profile so I don’t know what he put up but I agree with HIT

 

[hairygrandpa]

I can only see the "shisha" pic, that's what all my last posts were about. I agree with pics that are more appealing, like rock climbing. It may show your butt -and girls do look at man butts, @HIT4ME too.

 

[HIT4ME]

@hairygrandpa If you swipe the photos, they change. You get a hot shot off his man butt. But you are still the one for me HGP.

 

[hairygrandpa]

Saw the pics, I would change them all, besides, maybe, the one showing you in your work clothing. IMHO no pics with friends, more you + nature, no "cultural-stuff" hinting at religious background (what I mentioned before). I mean, once you met a girl that likes you, take her to a shisha lounge -or show her temples and whatnot. Gym pics of you lifting enormous weight, appeals more to us guys here -but less to chicks.
Chicks love to see a man holding a puppy -or cat. Overcome your disgust for cats and lift one up -but not by the tail to take a pic.

 

[ChocolateClen]

You doing crazy stuff makes for good topic starters too

 

[chem.jr.]

First regardless of how it sounds like I think I am stating facts, it is just how I write. So all of the below is MY OPINION.

Man, I am sorry, you need therapy badly. Not gonna sit here and placate you. Therapy does not often give you advice, they make you walk through your emotions and come to your own realizations and answers through guided questions. They never tell you what you should feel or anything like that.

I am sure you are out of the emergency phase of your depression but you are obviously still depressed. Everything you are saying shows this. You may not be anywhere near as bad but you stopped at what you could progress at alone and said yup this is fixed... NO it isn't.

Having had a rough go of it myself as a kid I feel like you are wrong about coming through a depression and forever being messed up or lesser of a person. If you actually go through the recovery you will be the strongest version of yourself. Stronger for having gone through it and dealing with the real issues. Far more resilient. Does that mean you will never have those feeling resurface? No it does not but you will be capable of dealing with it in healthier ways. You must see mental health as a weakness or something if you do not want to go to therapy out of pride. Pride kills brother...

I lived in a mental health facility for almost 4 months due to severe emotional issues, and went to support groups for years after. So I am speaking from experience here. I am stronger and happier having gone through it. I probably would not be alive today if I hadn't and I definitely would not be a fully functional and productive person had I not only dealt with those things but learned how to deal with and overcome the other challenges in life that are inevitable.

Also being a doctor is not anything like being a therapist. I mean would you go to a gynecologist to get your eyes checked. No because they are not qualified, and neither is an MD qualified to make decisions based on psychology. Plus you simply can not be objective about your own situation. Like they say when in the forest you can't see the forest for all the trees... In other words, you are too close to see the big picture.

You mention wanting even as little as a week of love or not having things go poorly for a week and comparing that to love. That ain't love, that is a distraction from your own emotions. You need to get yourself together in that particular aspect before looking for someone you can gush over to avoid dealing with your own emotions. That could go toxic for both of you very quickly and make your depression far worse, perhaps even returning to an urge to self mutilate. I know, I used to do a bit of that too. Therapy helped... A LOT!

Anyway brother, I hope you knock the pride down and go get some help.

Other than those suggestions, I am willing to bet that you do not show any affection, or flirting behaviors that show these people you are truly interested in them because those things were never expressed to you as a child. Probably makes you come off as disinterested and apathetic. A woman wants to feel wanted and if you can not make them feel that way they will not stick around regardless of how attractive you may be to them physically. So smile more, compliment them, make safe and friendly physical contact if they seem open to it from the flirting. Make them feel special instead of wanting them to make you feel like you are. Then you will become special to them simply because of how you make them feel. Bottom line you have to come out of your shell, be the opposite of what your parents were regarding affection and women will enjoy your company more.

This, right here. Nothing else needed after mrkleen kleened it all up! Props to kleen and hope OP takes note.

 

[chem.jr.]

Also, @HIT4ME nails another angle and I think should really make u think. Like you said we are a bunch of people who don't even know you that are caring about you. And he also begs the question do you want to be one of those people who is a drag on others or who can help others because of what they've been through?

 

[chem.jr.]

Saw the pics, I would change them all, besides, maybe, the one showing you in your work clothing. IMHO no pics with friends, more you + nature, no "cultural-stuff" hinting at religious background (what I mentioned before). I mean, once you met a girl that likes you, take her to a shisha lounge -or show her temples and whatnot. Gym pics of you lifting enormous weight, appeals more to us guys here -but less to chicks.
Chicks love to see a man holding a puppy -or cat. Overcome your disgust for cats and lift one up -but not by the tail to take a pic.

This guy here might as well be called "pussy Yoda" or the pink Jedi or some ish. Listen to him.

 

[SFreed]

HGP is the pink yoda!!!!

 

[chem.jr.]

HGP is the pink yoda!!!!

Good to see you around old friend.

 

[hairygrandpa]

This guy here might as well be called "pussy Yoda" or the pink Jedi or some ish. Listen to him.

HGP is the pink yoda!!!!

I was not the best looking bloke on the block, so I had to use guerrilla tactics to score puzzy.
Pink fugging yoda? It will take time until I get used to that name . It sounds somehow queer.

 

[chem.jr.]

I was not the best looking bloke on the block, so I had to use guerrilla tactics to score puzzy.
Pink fugging yoda? It will take time until I get used to that name . It sounds somehow queer.

Now all i can see is yoda from family guy wearing one of those pussy hats, haha

 

[HIT4ME]

I was not the best looking bloke on the block, so I had to use guerrilla tactics to score puzzy.
Pink fugging yoda? It will take time until I get used to that name . It sounds somehow queer.

Somehow?

"was not"?

 

[chem.jr.]

Somehow?

"was not"?

He lives in a leper colony now, didnt you know?