Over the past year, I've had a great experience on AM. I've learned a lot (some info kept me from making REALLY bad choices). I've been steered in the right direction that has benefited my overall health and helped me resolve some pestering health issues. I've had some good laughs and talked to some overall great guys. Why leave?
Headspace. I have long been sober after years of substance abuse. With the surge of work that's come up, I started skipping off-days. Then I started skipping lunches. I'd justify it with my productivity and by working out. I knew better, but believed my own lies. Next came neglecting to make time for my family. Then self care. Over the course of a few short weeks, I'd dug a hole deeper than I care to elaborate upon. I became a mental, emotional, and physical wreck.
It all got put into a much deeper perspective with a very near-tragic experience. One of my best workers, one I could always depend on, the one I'd gladly hand my office keys to if I ever decided to leave, was in an accident. He's fine- just a little bruised. The big problem is why he was in the accident to begin with. He fell asleep while driving a work truck after being up for days on methamphetamine. My old poison, something that almost put me in my grave. When I first went to see him and he explained himself, it boiled down To him just trying to keep up with me. He hadn't used until two weeks ago when a lot of the team decided to take off.
I know I'm not responsible for his actions. I didn't buy his pipe or hold it to his mouth. He's grown and did that to himself. But I realized quickly how neglecting ones self might influence and impact others. He's the age I was when I started. God only knows if this was enough for him to turn away from that shit. Its early enough where it's probable.
I'm getting ready to wrap up an extended stay-cation after closing my doors for a while. I'm in a much better place, but I've only just begun to be the husband and father I should have always been.
Take care of yourselves, men. I'll be back on some, but won't sacrifice anymore time to the idea of what my body should look like for a while.
Headspace. I have long been sober after years of substance abuse. With the surge of work that's come up, I started skipping off-days. Then I started skipping lunches. I'd justify it with my productivity and by working out. I knew better, but believed my own lies. Next came neglecting to make time for my family. Then self care. Over the course of a few short weeks, I'd dug a hole deeper than I care to elaborate upon. I became a mental, emotional, and physical wreck.
It all got put into a much deeper perspective with a very near-tragic experience. One of my best workers, one I could always depend on, the one I'd gladly hand my office keys to if I ever decided to leave, was in an accident. He's fine- just a little bruised. The big problem is why he was in the accident to begin with. He fell asleep while driving a work truck after being up for days on methamphetamine. My old poison, something that almost put me in my grave. When I first went to see him and he explained himself, it boiled down To him just trying to keep up with me. He hadn't used until two weeks ago when a lot of the team decided to take off.
I know I'm not responsible for his actions. I didn't buy his pipe or hold it to his mouth. He's grown and did that to himself. But I realized quickly how neglecting ones self might influence and impact others. He's the age I was when I started. God only knows if this was enough for him to turn away from that shit. Its early enough where it's probable.
I'm getting ready to wrap up an extended stay-cation after closing my doors for a while. I'm in a much better place, but I've only just begun to be the husband and father I should have always been.
Take care of yourselves, men. I'll be back on some, but won't sacrifice anymore time to the idea of what my body should look like for a while.