How to explain packages from India / Romania / China etc.

Harry Seaward

Harry Seaward

Member
I recently ordered some Arimidex from a site, I won't mention of course, and figured while I'm at it why not grab some EQ 400 as well?

I swear I entered my shipping address, but I'm 99.9% sure they shipped to my billing address, i.e. my MOM'S HOUSE because she gave me the heads up that I received a couple packages from Romania, where I know it was shipped from. FML, right?

Now I'm a grown man and she's not opening it or anything, I certainly hope, but I definitely don't want to worry her. Something like this would scare the crap out of her, and plus I stayed natural all the way to age 30 and it would suck if she thought this is standard practice for me all these years.

Anyway, does anyone have any tips for me? So far I told her that I ordered some things on Amazon and it usually just picks the cheapest option, so sometimes items come from international places. With handwritten addresses in a foreign language...oh GOD FML. Luckily, I think I ordered a couple other things to her place (e.g. a hat to wear during my softball games) that might arrive early this coming week.

I live about 45 min away from her, and can maybe do dinner with her during the week. I definitely don't wanna go over during the weekend with my girlfriend, and God forbid fight a war on two fronts!

Any help or experiences appreciated!

Thanks:)
 
the amazon idea was genius. Now just tell her it was wtf ever lol. Anything you have as a hobby would pass as normal
 
Just say "Holy crap, isn't anything made in America now-a-days?" "This damn foreign outsourcing is driving me nuts!" Older people love this line!
 
Similar thing happened to me. USPS left a note at my door that I missed a shipment from India. I told my parents it was a friend from college sending me some authentic stuff from home. Worked well since I went to a school that had a huge international population.
 
Just wondering why you would have gear shipped to your moms house in the first place.
 
Thx guys, very much appreciated. I think another tactic is I'll wait till there are a couple other packages (e.g. protein or something) and hopefully it'll get lost in the mix. I'll bring some small electronic stuff w me whenever I make it there next, so I can possibly bring the packages to another room, open and voila! I'll pull the old switch-a-roo:)

I think a much more embarrassing but "the lesser of two evils" idea could be Romanian viagra or cialis? This will be a last ditch effort if shady business is suspected, this way she'll lay off. She's a very sweet woman though and I don't think wants to put me on the spot, hopefully it'll go smoothly.

I also have some time to order something random for mother's day, maybe I'll just wait to visit then? That will make sense actually because my girlfriend will be at her parents' place, just will be stressing a little every day + night till 5/13...

One issue is I don't know what the packages are shaped like, which would help me prepare my web of lies.

I was sure this has happened to someone else, thanks again very much :)
 
Thx guys, very much appreciated. I think another tactic is I'll wait till there are a couple other packages (e.g. protein or something) and hopefully it'll get lost in the mix. I'll bring some small electronic stuff w me whenever I make it there next, so I can possibly bring the packages to another room, open and voila! I'll pull the old switch-a-roo:)

I think a much more embarrassing but "the lesser of two evils" idea could be Romanian viagra or cialis? This will be a last ditch effort if shady business is suspected, this way she'll lay off. She's a very sweet woman though and I don't think wants to put me on the spot, hopefully it'll go smoothly.

I also have some time to order something random for mother's day, maybe I'll just wait to visit then? That will make sense actually because my girlfriend will be at her parents' place, just will be stressing a little every day + night till 5/13...

One issue is I don't know what the packages are shaped like, which would help me prepare my web of lies.

I was sure this has happened to someone else, thanks again very much :)
 
In the end if she does ask to see what's in it just tell her she can't see it becouse it's a mothers day gift or bday ect..
 
ISU152 said:
haha I might just have to..."sorry mom, I stocked up on SD and now cant buy you a present. It's the thought that counts right? :D"
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A few years ago I forgot about mothers day, I remembered that morning and as I was on my way to her house to say hi some local kids were selling flowers they picked so I bought a few bunches for like 2 bucks, told my mom that I bought them from these 5 year old kids and my mom was happy and I was off the hook for 2 bucks.
 
Quick update - I just remembered that I'm visiting my friend next weekend (cinch de mayo wknd) with my girlfriend, soooo will be stopping by my mom's house to pick up my car. I think there's a way I can do it all by train, ideally I'll do that and put off everything till Mother's day, so I'll also have time to have other stuff delivered as decoys. Man this is way too much stress...I can't go there w my girlfriend and have a Romanian package there, she'll definitely know something's up.

PS after taxes I hear you guys on the broke thing, that crayon idea sounds good to me!
 
Just say you ordered something for someone else, like books or what not. That's it. Don't open it because it's not for you and is going to be a gift or something. For my parents anyways tht would work. In fact I wouldn't even say anything unless asked first.
 
CopyCat said:
Just say you ordered something for someone else, like books or what not. That's it. Don't open it because it's not for you and is going to be a gift or something. For my parents anyways tht would work. In fact I wouldn't even say anything unless asked first.
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Thx man, you make a good point she didn't really 'ask' per se, but she was like "what could you have gotten from Romania?" so in a way she kinda did. She's not a ball buster but I think anyone's interest would be piqued a little bit in this scenario. I'll just go the secretive route and hope for the best...
 
My mom's a nurse...I was like " mom, will you inject steroids in my legs when I move back home" she thought I was kidding...I wasn't.
 
Harry Seaward said:
Great call guys, especially with mother's day coming up
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****...mother's day is coming up?! Last year that **** cost me $800... I forgot to get wifey something until the day before and she knew it so I bought her a new DSLR camera to make up for it...

Not this year, ef that.
 
A few years ago, I bought a generic "iPod" off eBay that was shipped from China. Apparently, certain metropolitan cities in countries like China have THOUSANDS of factories pumping out counterfeit/unbranded consumer electronics products like MP3 players, cell phones, etc. Now, I know your package came in from Romania and not China, but you could basically tell her that you got a generic iPod rip-off (or some other electronics product) for $35 from Romania that would've cost well over $200 as a branded item. I would think it would be pretty convincing, especially if you give a short talk on how unbranded electronics products from Asia and Eastern Europe are dirt-cheap relative to the name-branded products sold here.
 
Tell her it something sexual lol sex toy , Viagra or something like that just act embarrassed it will work as long as ur wife isn't around lol
 
Haha yeah I'm going with that but only as a last resort.

Update:
I've bombarded her house with about 5 or 6 other packages w non-shady stuff in them, and am getting dinner with her later tonight. I'll update this post asap, maybe even from her house. I'm bringing with me some grape seed extract in a bottle and liv 52 in a small package, and if need be I'll do the old switch-aroo. Either way, hopefully there will be enough stuff to distract her and I think she will respect my privacy of course.

I'm still freaking out, but will hopefully be at ease tonight.

Thanks for all the help :)
 
Good news / bad news: I retrieved the EQ, but the Adex still hasn't arrived. I used up all the decoys (they were things I can use anyway like cheap headphones) so kinda pissed that the Adex will be sticking out like a sore thumb whenever it arrives.
 
Harry Seaward said:
haha the dreaded separate packages! the other one isn't trackable either, even worse so I can get a sneak attack any day now.
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I had that happen before when I was living at home in my mid-20's, I'd know to be home when the mailman came....you can pretty much track their timing and know within 15-30 minutes of when they will be there...unless its the fill-in guy/girl who could come at any time :D....I would "intercept" the package before anybody got home, since I worked overnight and would be the only one there during the day...then it would end up being "1 of 2" packages...and I'd be like "damn I gotta monitor this shyt AGAIN and stay awake and alert ANOTHER day this week!" lol Its like being in prison, you can't F-in leave the house for fear they will miss you and leave a slip for you....or worse yet what if they come late that day when everybody is home.....then you need to stake-out the mailbox w/o looking suspicious! :D
 
WARBIRDWS6 said:
I had that happen before when I was living at home in my mid-20's, I'd know to be home when the mailman came....you can pretty much track their timing and know within 15-30 minutes of when they will be there...unless its the fill-in guy/girl who could come at any time :D....I would "intercept" the package before anybody got home, since I worked overnight and would be the only one there during the day...then it would end up being "1 of 2" packages...and I'd be like "damn I gotta monitor this shyt AGAIN and stay awake and alert ANOTHER day this week!" lol Its like being in prison, you can't F-in leave the house for fear they will miss you and leave a slip for you....or worse yet what if they come late that day when everybody is home.....then you need to stake-out the mailbox w/o looking suspicious! :D
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Oh man so you definitely feel my pain. I can't believe it - I could've sworn I put in my mailing address, not my mom's / billing, but regardless the problem remains. Just one more to go!!! The bad news is I don't have the advantage you did, in fact I'll almost definitely not be home since it's my mom's house 45 min away. BUT, she is pretty non-invasive, I certainly hope so since I'm freakin' 30 now haha, so it'll just look shady at my mom's house for a few days till I visit Mother's Day weekend...
 
Harry Seaward said:
Oh man so you definitely feel my pain. I can't believe it - I could've sworn I put in my mailing address, not my mom's / billing, but regardless the problem remains. Just one more to go!!! The bad news is I don't have the advantage you did, in fact I'll almost definitely not be home since it's my mom's house 45 min away. BUT, she is pretty non-invasive, I certainly hope so since I'm freakin' 30 now haha, so it'll just look shady at my mom's house for a few days till I visit Mother's Day weekend...
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I would totally stay over there extra days (she would love it and not even care to think about "why?")....but if she's not the type to play junior investigator....well it's probably not worth it, just get it later. My mother would say "It said XXXX name, same as your father" (we have the same name)....so she'd have him open it to see what it is and use that as an excuse :D I thought I was bad, I over-analyze stuff to the nth degree all day long....you might have me beat...but not sure lol. You aren't a Virgo are you by chance? they are known for analytical minds...
 
WARBIRDWS6 said:
I would totally stay over there extra days (she would love it and not even care to think about "why?")....but if she's not the type to play junior investigator....well it's probably not worth it, just get it later. My mother would say "It said XXXX name, same as your father" (we have the same name)....so she'd have him open it to see what it is and use that as an excuse :D I thought I was bad, I over-analyze stuff to the nth degree all day long....you might have me beat...but not sure lol. You aren't a Virgo are you by chance? they are known for analytical minds...
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Bro...I think I'm in the same neighborhood as you; I've gone through every permutation of what can happen. My dad now is visiting from out of town, and he's on good terms with my mom so he's gonna stay over there this coming Sun-Wed, definitely a dangerous time for him to be there re: the last package. He's more suspicious, not a ball buster, but my mom is just more sweetly innocent, if that makes any sense.

He'll probably think it's Cialis or Viagra, which will be fine by me, as long as he doesn't open it. In that case or if he somehow sees it, I'll explain that it's a safe alternative to AAS because instead of increasing your Test it decreases your Estrogen, but who knows if he'll buy it but I know I should just relax and hope for the best.

I'm an Aquarious btw, I don't really believe in astrology but then I'll hear 8 things that are dead on. Going back to my social psychology classes though, when it comes to these things someone will throw 15 adjectives, vague ones, at you, and maybe 10 are right. So you think "ohhh wowww it's totally true!" without taking into account that there are 5 that are dead wrong.

This is why I love when you chime in on my threads WB, we end up talking about astrology and social psychology hahaa
 
Harry Seaward said:
Bro...I think I'm in the same neighborhood as you; I've gone through every permutation of what can happen. My dad now is visiting from out of town, and he's on good terms with my mom so he's gonna stay over there this coming Sun-Wed, definitely a dangerous time for him to be there re: the last package. He's more suspicious, not a ball buster, but my mom is just more sweetly innocent, if that makes any sense.

He'll probably think it's Cialis or Viagra, which will be fine by me, as long as he doesn't open it. In that case or if he somehow sees it, I'll explain that it's a safe alternative to AAS because instead of increasing your Test it decreases your Estrogen, but who knows if he'll buy it but I know I should just relax and hope for the best.

I'm an Aquarious btw, I don't really believe in astrology but then I'll hear 8 things that are dead on. Going back to my social psychology classes though, when it comes to these things someone will throw 15 adjectives, vague ones, at you, and maybe 10 are right. So you think "ohhh wowww it's totally true!" without taking into account that there are 5 that are dead wrong.

This is why I love when you chime in on my threads WB, we end up talking about astrology and social psychology hahaa
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yeah a lot of astrology is total horseshyt :D....but I'm one of the few who fits their profile to a T. Literally everything that damn things says is true, not the daily horoscope or nothing, but the specific august virgo stuff. pretty much dead on. But yeah, I can tell you have the same type of mind as I do....that shyt is eventually going to drive us crazy....I wish there was a "pill" that could make you stop "thinking so much"....I'd take that shyt EVERY DAY. What I used to order back in the old days when I was younger was nolva, clomid, AI's and stuff like that....to help combat excessive estro and/or pubertal gyno....I'd get some of the sexual aid stuff like pharma yohimbe and stuff like deprynl/selegiline....nothing crazy, I had a steady GF at that time so why not? lol..... But still, there is no way parents could understand WTF these things are....they are all "drugs" to them :D "my son is taking drugs!!!" meanwhile we are trying to perfect our bodies.....the total opposite of actual druggies! :D
 
WARBIRDWS6 said:
yeah a lot of astrology is total horseshyt :D....but I'm one of the few who fits their profile to a T. Literally everything that damn things says is true, not the daily horoscope or nothing, but the specific august virgo stuff. pretty much dead on. But yeah, I can tell you have the same type of mind as I do....that shyt is eventually going to drive us crazy....I wish there was a "pill" that could make you stop "thinking so much"....I'd take that shyt EVERY DAY. What I used to order back in the old days when I was younger was nolva, clomid, AI's and stuff like that....to help combat excessive estro and/or pubertal gyno....I'd get some of the sexual aid stuff like pharma yohimbe and stuff like deprynl/selegiline....nothing crazy, I had a steady GF at that time so why not? lol..... But still, there is no way parents could understand WTF these things are....they are all "drugs" to them :D "my son is taking drugs!!!" meanwhile we are trying to perfect our bodies.....the total opposite of actual druggies! :D
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hahaa amen brother...gonna catch some much needed Z's brah, will keep you guys posted. I've had a few more people give me those suspicious ("have I seen you like this big before?") but what the fk why not keep killing it. Mid-week 4, this is prime time!!!
 
Harry Seaward said:
hahaa amen brother...gonna catch some much needed Z's brah, will keep you guys posted. I've had a few more people give me those suspicious ("have I seen you like this big before?") but what the fk why not keep killing it. Mid-week 4, this is prime time!!!
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Good luck with "package #2"........and be sure to wear loose fitting clothing :D....Oh wait a minute, thats no fun right? nevermind, wear the tight shyt and let them ask questions about it lol.....
 
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