Guess the Pitch and Win Some SCHWAG!!

[Mulletsoldier]

If you haven't heard, we are celebrating the launch of USP Labs into GNC stores Nationwide! (see here:

Invalid Link Removed

Now, we all know Jacob is quite the savvy salesman, so obviously he had quite the pitch for the GNC brass. Unfortunately, the guy won't tell me what he said, so now it's up to YOU to guess for free product. That's right, we want you to give us your best 'USP sales pitch', something that Jacob could have/would have said to sell our brand to GNC.

Here are the details:

1) submit an entry of at least 6-7 lines in the theme of a sales pitch from Jacob, to GNC.

2) be well spoken and articulate, no scrubs!

3) entries start today and winners will be chosen in 1 week

4) winners will receive 3 USP Labs products of their choosing

5) open to US and Canadian citizens!

 

[KSMA]

USP is for me.

Alright....so I went all out for you on this one Mullet. I went a little beyond 7 seven lines. Attached is a zip folder with a power point presentation with 7 slides highlighting USP's products. Please let me know if it doesnt work.

KSMA

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Kay, well, you win and I'll send you some on my own. I'll keep this open for other great entries as well though!!

****, you might steal my job.

 

[KSMA]

Serious?? if so WOOHOO. Do you need any info from me?

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Yeah, just hold off until I announce other winners though. I don't want your info getting lost in the fray.

 

[KSMA]

Sweetness.. I never win stuff. Thanks.:woohoo:

 

[bolt10]

yo that was real serious reps to u

 

[Guest]

Mullet killed the contest...boooooooooo

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Nah man, his is just really good! I'll send him some of my own stash and we'll pick another winner

 

[KSMA]

sorry guys I didnt mean to go overboard...Just had some spare time......maybe a little to much.

 

[Guest]

sorry guys I didnt mean to go overboard...Just had some spare time......maybe a little to much.

You squashed the competition! The way it should be done.

 

[Steveoph]

Here goes , ("In Jacob's sultry voice")

Dear GNC,
We here at USP Labs have been working tirelessly for the past several years to develop completely new and remarkable products. While innovation to most companies is simply adding another molecule to creatine, giving it a flashy proprietary name and then heralding it as groundbreaking whereas at USP Labs innovation is bringing brand new never-before seen compounds to the market.

One of our first products that we introduced was a herbal extract called cissus that helps ease joint pain primarily. This has given a second chance to many people that had tried all the previous known supplements like glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate, and MSM. We have had numerous testimonials where the old methods had produced limited results but after supplementing with SupperCissus they were able to return to their form painless mobility.

Another of our innovations that we have brought to the market is Anabolic Pump, which is a glucose disposal tool that basically puts your body in the 60-90 minute "Window of Opportunity" that occurs after every workout, except all day long! It allows people to consume carbs and have them go straight into muscle cells and not be stored as fat! Now that the low-carb craze is over in America, this is clearly a potential best-seller.

We also have an extra-potent version of Anabolic Pump called P-Slin that is meant to be taken with a large dose of carbs (60-100g) pre-workout. This P-Slin let's your body take these carbs straightaway into your muscles,which then gives you the most energy in a workout you've ever experienced from all the carbs!

Lastly we have our natural testosterone booster called PowerFULL that boosts GH better than even the compound itself, in addition to better sleep, recovery and strength.

We also will be releasing to you our brand-new fatburner with once again 3 unseen new compounds, showing our dedication to true innovation. This product is perfectly marketable to the growing obese population, and is appropriate for men and women alike. Millions of dollars are spent on fatburning products that don't even work, so imagine your sales with this product that is truly effective in causing fat loss!

I hope I convinced you of the advantages of carrying out truly unique products. We already have a dedicated following among online retailers and discussion forums, and are interested in developing an in-store physical presence as well. We have numerous testimonials backing the efficacy of our products which can be easily viewed on our website at Invalid Link Removed . Having USP Labs products sold at GNC would be mutually beneficial, and I feel that the innovation and performance of our products will speak for themselves in very little time, and should be among your top-sellers in short order.

If you have any further questions please feel free to contact me,
Sincerely,
Jacob Geisseler "

Sorry it went a bit long It's fun playing Jacob

 

[strategicmove]

...
5) open to US and Canadian citizens!

Citizens or residents?

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Citizens or residents?

Actual question or an exercise in semantics?

 

[Steveoph]

Actual question or an exercise in semantics?

I think a valid question, because someone might live in Germany but have dual-citizenship in the US

 

[Mulletsoldier]

I think a valid question, because someone might live in Germany but have dual-citizenship in the US

I know what he meant.

 

[strategicmove]

Actual question or an exercise in semantics?

Don't thread so lightly, Mulletsoldier! Was actually meant as a real (and completely harmless) question. Would an American citizen resident in Singapore, for instance qualify? Would a Singaporean citizen resident in the USA qualify? And so on...

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Don't thread so lightly, Mulletsoldier! Was actually meant as a real (and completely harmless) question. Would an American citizen resident in Singapore, for instance qualify? Would a Singaporean citizen resident in the USA qualify? And so on...

No need to clarify, I'm aware of what you meant. It was a joke (obviously not well received/understood).

 

[Steveoph]

No need to clarify, I'm aware of what you meant. It was a joke (obviously not well received/understood).

You need some smiley exercises . Here try these :twisted::stick::blink::FUfinger::toofunny::rofl::wave:

 

[Guest]

Would an American girl married to a mexican man living in Columbia with a South Asian cat qualify?

Come on guys....

We ship to cities within the USA or Canada, simply put.

 

[strategicmove]

Would an American girl married to a mexican man living in Columbia with a South Asian cat qualify?

Come on guys....

I actually did not mean to invoke such a complex case. I am satisfied that MulletSoldier got my drift. .

We ship to cities within the USA or Canada, simply put.

This was obviously the intended message. I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that it may not have come across as intended. I was aware from the beginning that the fact that I live in Germany, for instance, disqualifies me irrespective of my citizenship

 

[Guest]

I actually did not mean to invoke such a complex case. I am satisfied that MulletSoldier got my drift. .



This was obviously the intended message. I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that it may not have come across as intended. I was aware from the beginning that the fact that I live in Germany, for instance, disqualifies me irrespective of my citizenship

Are you guys(mullet and stratgic) on the new USPlabs Test releaser......hmmmm explains it all..

No tension in the USPlabs forum. USPlabs forum is about getting along and helping eachother in our common goal of improvement.

Group Hug....(mullet get your hand off my a$$ for the thrid time..but I have been working out...can you tell).

 

[john123131]

Are you guys(mullet and stratgic) on the new USPlabs Test releaser......hmmmm explains it all..

No tension in the USPlabs forum. USPlabs forum is about getting along and helping eachother in our common goal of improvement.

Group Hug....(mullet get your hand off my a$$ for the thrid time..but I have been working out...can you tell).

Jacob, any info you can give me on the ingredient in the new test product??..cant find a ton myself

 

[Mulletsoldier]

This is so awkward I'm really not sure what to say. I have a gf, but, if you asked nicely, our unrequited love could be shared.

Te amo, mi amore.

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Jacob, any info you can give me on the ingredient in the new test product??..cant find a ton myself

Mullet Semen baby, all you need.

 

[john123131]

Mullet Semen baby, all you need.

i just threw up a bit in my mouth

 

[Guest]

i just threw up a bit in my mouth

Really is....we have a GMP jerk off room with a swing and everthing..

 

[Guest]

This is so awkward I'm really not sure what to say. I have a gf, but, if you asked nicely, our unrequited love could be shared.

Te amo, mi amore.

are you offering your girlfriend...you pig!

 

[bolt10]

what is going on in here....

 

[Guest]

what is going on in here....

I let mullet post a contest and it turns into an orgy. :wtf:

 

[john123131]

I let mullet post a contest and it turns into an orgy. :wtf:

did you expect anything different?

 

[Mulletsoldier]

Yeah boys, I may be taking some time off the boards as we're gearing up for a big run of a few products. All of which contain my semen.

 

[john123131]

Yeah boys, I may be taking some time off the boards as we're gearing up for a big run of a few products. All of which contain my semen.

haha...thats just wrong bro..

 

[OCCFan023]

Yeah boys, I may be taking some time off the boards as we're gearing up for a big run of a few products. All of which contain my semen.

I can just see someone searching for ReCreate and coming across this thread. lmao.

 

[bolt10]

I can just see someone searching for ReCreate and coming across this thread. lmao.

LOL actually if you search for USPLabs Recreate in google the monkey thread pops up ALOT(and if you search for recreate images its like all monkeys LOL).....

 

[OCCFan023]

LOL actually if you search for USPLabs Recreate in google the monkey thread pops up ALOT(and if you search for recreate images its like all monkeys LOL).....

wow thats hilarious. Out of the top 10 results there's 3 monkeys and Homer Simpson.

 

[bolt10]

wow thats hilarious. Out of the top 10 results there's 3 monkeys and Homer Simpson.

hahah yea i don't know why i knew that tho......

 

[Steveoph]

Yeah boys, I may be taking some time off the boards as we're gearing up for a big run of a few products. All of which contain my semen.

... Somebody's hands are gonna be busy :blink:

 

[KSMA]

wow.... I didnt really know what I was getting into when I entered this contest....Mullet all I want as a prize are the products.... Really...:blink:

 

[Ev52]

GNC:
We have a little something in common; we are both built on a foundation of unwavering quality. USP Labs is dedicated in helping you continue your goals of improving your customer’s quality of life through better nutrition and healthier living. We at USP Labs focus on 100% natural, safe and effective extracts that are derived from nature. Our products are researched in our cutting edge research lab in India and contain exactly what the label states. USP Labs is taking the world by storm and you need to make sure GNC is not left in the dust!