Ok...might as well vent out a bit something of mine I guess...and well, you can decide weather it is a good thing or not Nathan:
Some 11 months ago...I broke up and ended it with my Ex-gf/fiancee , I know sounds crazy right? (i'm barely 21), we had known each other since we were 9 years old. Thing is, I had an on/off thing with her, and we never really decided to actually take it seriously but we were there for one another anyway...she was there in the roughest parts of my life (some Mexican criminal shenanigans that happened to me...) and I was there for her through her parents divorce and health issues she came down with thanks to her depression for it...Anyways, we had finally made it official, we both live away from home and well...we both come from well bred families, so we moved in together and decided to take things to the next level and as soon as we graduated we would get married (hence fiancee, yes I did give her the ring...she gave it back). Well things went great for a while...perfect, lets skip to what I did for her...I used to carry many things from a bad childhood memory/experience I had, and she got me over them, but it took a toll on our relationship and on her...we could not keep going without making it more destructive, yet we did, and soon enough she ended up sabotaging the relationship (can you blame her? of course not...). So when I found out I could not make her the happiest woman on this earth I decided something...even wrote it down in my journal, which well no one but me ever reads...as corny and "romantic-movie-like" as it sounds...I did not give up on her, but rather let her go, I broke up with her...but we kept getting back to hanging out, sleeping around, drinking and of course, loads of fighting...So I did something that I still don't know its good or not, but I could not bear the thought of her still not getting all she deserved, all she hoped and dreamed of, the happiness I had vowed to give her, so I did the only thing I could...I pushed her as far away from me so she could be happy with someone else and never come back again to suffer with me. I lied to her, told her something that was never part of my conception of her, something I knew would hurt her and keep her from coming back so she could move on and get the real man who would give her everything she deserves...I was able to do this since I know her from so long, and know everything about her. Well fellas she started dating the guy who was her first serious BF (again we were only on and off...and I know the guy from way back in the day too...) they started dating 2 months and 3 days after WE broke up, and merely 1 month and 1 week after we stopped talking completely...I know she is getting married with him, the thing is, the church she wants to get married with him (he is older BTW) was busy for the day they wanted to get married...I payed the couple who was gonna get a baptism that day a good amount of money so they would free it up, so she got the call the church is free...I was not invited to her wedding, and I shall not attend this coming august...she doesn't know I did this...so whichever you think is a right thing, letting her go and putting myself through hell, celibacy, guilt and intense leaning out for all this time, or getting her at least the church she wanted for her wedding, well all up to you.
Note: How did I know the couple for the baptism? The catering company I work for has served (even I have served there) many times at that church...and we know the main priest and all the clerical staff that run the place...so I merely abused my Aunts (boss) good will and wish to help me out give my ex something nice...Only one of her friends knows I did this, this girl told me about the wedding and all, and well I already knew she wanted that church...I asked her friend not to tell her, now you also know why I swore off women for a while...and why I have been broke for a while (throw in I changed my GLI for another cooler car)...well that's it folks...If I win I merely wanna help someone get it , but thought to share something here that at least I think is romantic...and also terrifying since its mostly the stuff that my night terrors are filled up...so yeah...Good luck everyone...sorry about the tl;dr