Destroyed: My recent breakup
- Thread starter handzilla
- Start date
toughchick401
Well-known member
CHecking in....how is life??? hope all is well and your doing well 
((((HUGZ)))
((((HUGZ)))handzilla
Active member
toughchick401 said:CHecking in....how is life??? hope all is well and your doing well
:wave:Thanks! Although I'm still playing with fire, all is good right now. I get the feeling that she can't make it through the weekend without seeing me.
I woke up Saturday morning and saw that she texted me around 4:30am asking where I was. There is no contact during the week, but she's always looking for me once the weekend rolls around.
As long as I don't get caught up emotionally I should be okay. This is like walking on a tightrope
toughchick401
Well-known member
handzilla said:
Play with fire and you get burned....but I wont say anything, except good luck and now I remember why I am single.....
somewhatgifted
Registered User
I forsee this girl either ruining your current cycle, or sending you off the deep end when your riding the hormonal roller coaster. Good luck, im out.
Cuffs
Well-known member
Thanks Malek.Malek256 said:
My situation was hard to deal with and has taken time to get over. I found keeping my pride and having self respect allowed me to get through it much easier. Also, this board and the peeps helped a great deal. I miss my old life at times and what I had. However, I don't miss my ex. My life has changed tremendously since last July. Mostly for the better. Everything is about done with my ex, with the exception of the divorce being final. She's been holding up the paperwork. Funny, she's the one who wanted out so bad and couldn't wait to file the divorce papers. Now she is the reason it's being held up. Oh well, I just hope she gets it all finished before she pops out that baby. I don't want my last name attached in any way.
somewhatgifted
Registered User
"you dont know what you got till its gone" this can go either way, looking back on women i let into my heart i can only wonder what possesed me to endure the way i did. how do we cling to pain like theres no other way. With the blinders off i see their true colors, women im glad to have in my past. and i didnt know who she was till i was gone. Cuffs shes realising what she missed out on, life goes on.
handzilla
Active member
(Sigh) I think it's about time I return to this thread for an update. I've still been staying with her once a weekend. No contact during the week. Things seemed stable. She called me last Saturday and told me that she quit her job working at night and has went out drinking for the last 3 or 4 nights. I blew her off, she called later, we ran into each other, and I stayed the night.
Now she has more free time and is out and about more. So I begin to wonder:
If she sais she misses me so much then why isn't she spending some of this free time with me? Well she isn't.
Is she seeing someone else also? Possibly. Still playing the field, etc. Lotta times I find myself wondering exactly how she feels and what could possibly happen next.
Yes I am still playing with fire, and yes it is starting to burn again. Why? I think it has to do with my low test levels. I believe this is what had caused me to breakdown so bad in February. I feel like I'm heading down the same path as I was back then and setting myself up for another breakdown: low test-->insecure thoughts-->irritability-->clingy feelings*-->obsesesing--(((ampliflied)))-->emotional breakdown.
*I'm right about there
She's not ruining my current cycle, I am. I've been finding some of the most paranoid and insecure thoughts creeping into my mind at times. These lead to some pretty aggressive feelings. Anxitey seems to be getting to me also. Often times in my head I find myself replaying those events that happened and messed me up the most: all of the rejection and ridicule from her. I absolutely dread that this might happen again. And that's why I 90% of the time I don't make the initial contact, and when I see her out I play it cool. Now after seeing her out lastnight I found myself wanting to call her and talk and/or stay with her in the worst way but I fought the feeling pretty well. I definitely don't want to come across as being needy again. I also found those negative thoughts and feelings creeping up again and for no reason from her. She was pretty sweet to me lastnight.
Before I started this cycle I was contemplating just using a few test boosters for most of the summer instead. I have two weeks left, and I can't seem to shake some of these negative thoughts at times. I'm thinking of ending this one and sending my test levels back up so I can bring back my natural feeling of well being. This hormonal rollercoaster is no fun and I'm thinking of not cycling again until I feel that EVERYTHING is in order. Low test levels fyuck me up. Androgens and emotions don't mix.
Now she has more free time and is out and about more. So I begin to wonder:
If she sais she misses me so much then why isn't she spending some of this free time with me? Well she isn't.
Is she seeing someone else also? Possibly. Still playing the field, etc. Lotta times I find myself wondering exactly how she feels and what could possibly happen next.
Yes I am still playing with fire, and yes it is starting to burn again. Why? I think it has to do with my low test levels. I believe this is what had caused me to breakdown so bad in February. I feel like I'm heading down the same path as I was back then and setting myself up for another breakdown: low test-->insecure thoughts-->irritability-->clingy feelings*-->obsesesing--(((ampliflied)))-->emotional breakdown.
*I'm right about there
She's not ruining my current cycle, I am. I've been finding some of the most paranoid and insecure thoughts creeping into my mind at times. These lead to some pretty aggressive feelings. Anxitey seems to be getting to me also. Often times in my head I find myself replaying those events that happened and messed me up the most: all of the rejection and ridicule from her. I absolutely dread that this might happen again. And that's why I 90% of the time I don't make the initial contact, and when I see her out I play it cool. Now after seeing her out lastnight I found myself wanting to call her and talk and/or stay with her in the worst way but I fought the feeling pretty well. I definitely don't want to come across as being needy again. I also found those negative thoughts and feelings creeping up again and for no reason from her. She was pretty sweet to me lastnight.
Before I started this cycle I was contemplating just using a few test boosters for most of the summer instead. I have two weeks left, and I can't seem to shake some of these negative thoughts at times. I'm thinking of ending this one and sending my test levels back up so I can bring back my natural feeling of well being. This hormonal rollercoaster is no fun and I'm thinking of not cycling again until I feel that EVERYTHING is in order. Low test levels fyuck me up. Androgens and emotions don't mix.
toughchick401
Well-known member
Personally i dont see how you can move on and find a nice girl ( yes we are out here).....Move on, end it, she is not the one for you.....GET OUT WHILE U CAN.....
I wont say its easy, it hurts but now you are the one to blame, shame on her once, shame on you twice.....
Sorry if it seems harsh, bad week :
I wont say its easy, it hurts but now you are the one to blame, shame on her once, shame on you twice.....
Sorry if it seems harsh, bad week :
Gokmog
Member
jeeze.
what a sad, pathetic story.
this guy buys into the mundane, erroneous machismo that ensures that a man remains enmired in the similarly mundane whoredom that is so common these days.
just starting to catch on to the idea that hormone levels are affecting your neurophysiology and mental abilities? i wonder how much alcohol you are drinking. one of the mental traps to watch out for when saying "i'm not going to do this" is the other part of you that reacts by wanting it more. so i guess maybe telling what not to do won't work, given how you vacillate and how weak and susceptible you are to this PA whore.
truth is you are NOT worth her personal time and you ARE a weekend booty call (at best) and you deserve to be used and abused for as long as you comply with her terms, her values and serve her whorish ego.
but i'm glad you are posting because you help to give those of us who are not typical guys more inside looks into the standard mentality that plagues this nation.
and you've got another woman, AND you are still ****ing this cvnt. mmowry is right, and somewhatgifted is right. these are standup, honorable, wise, decent men.. and i am proud to be in the same cyber-community as them.
the fact you avoid eye contact gives her more power-- and the confidence to use you as she wishes. if you *really* wanted to end your dysfunctional relationship to a dysfunctional PA woman the next time she approaches you, in private or public, you will look her right in the eyes and beam your true feelings right into the windows of her evil soul. that is, if you even have feelings of regret about your life involvement with her. (ha ha) or... and this is only for the advanced men with power over their own brains and hearts (psionic organs to be sure with powerful capacity to modulate the rest of the body): you will rise to her booty call, play the manlyman/whore game and take it to the point of skillful physical foreplay, until she is truly hot and bothered. when she is truly ready, or hot and in need of copulation of some sort... THAT is the time to flip into sadism mode (something a person like her seems to demand) and throw her down/away and leave, saying something like "never again, cvnt!" i'm not saying be criminal, as in assault, just forceful enough to communicate your own true feelings (if you even have those, wanker!). maybe that's the level it takes to accomplish something. because, to tell you the truth, you are still at stage -1 at ending this relationship.
she looks to be more powerful than you. maybe she has the right to do this? your feelings don't really matter if you are the weaker. that's how relationships with unequal power work, beyond any objective notions of right and wrong. might does equal right, cuz they get what they want and you're not going to stop it. you can only delay it. and so you will ****inue to service her, and not another, better woman.
look her in the eyes and tell her how you really feel, stop the BS and give it to her straight. show her you are capable of not playing the games and end it like a real man, if you have the integrity to be a real man, that is. or just keep going back to the same-old same-old.
whateva...
pussy!
:whip:
what a sad, pathetic story.
this guy buys into the mundane, erroneous machismo that ensures that a man remains enmired in the similarly mundane whoredom that is so common these days.
just starting to catch on to the idea that hormone levels are affecting your neurophysiology and mental abilities? i wonder how much alcohol you are drinking. one of the mental traps to watch out for when saying "i'm not going to do this" is the other part of you that reacts by wanting it more. so i guess maybe telling what not to do won't work, given how you vacillate and how weak and susceptible you are to this PA whore.
truth is you are NOT worth her personal time and you ARE a weekend booty call (at best) and you deserve to be used and abused for as long as you comply with her terms, her values and serve her whorish ego.
but i'm glad you are posting because you help to give those of us who are not typical guys more inside looks into the standard mentality that plagues this nation.
and you've got another woman, AND you are still ****ing this cvnt. mmowry is right, and somewhatgifted is right. these are standup, honorable, wise, decent men.. and i am proud to be in the same cyber-community as them.
the fact you avoid eye contact gives her more power-- and the confidence to use you as she wishes. if you *really* wanted to end your dysfunctional relationship to a dysfunctional PA woman the next time she approaches you, in private or public, you will look her right in the eyes and beam your true feelings right into the windows of her evil soul. that is, if you even have feelings of regret about your life involvement with her. (ha ha) or... and this is only for the advanced men with power over their own brains and hearts (psionic organs to be sure with powerful capacity to modulate the rest of the body): you will rise to her booty call, play the manlyman/whore game and take it to the point of skillful physical foreplay, until she is truly hot and bothered. when she is truly ready, or hot and in need of copulation of some sort... THAT is the time to flip into sadism mode (something a person like her seems to demand) and throw her down/away and leave, saying something like "never again, cvnt!" i'm not saying be criminal, as in assault, just forceful enough to communicate your own true feelings (if you even have those, wanker!). maybe that's the level it takes to accomplish something. because, to tell you the truth, you are still at stage -1 at ending this relationship.
she looks to be more powerful than you. maybe she has the right to do this? your feelings don't really matter if you are the weaker. that's how relationships with unequal power work, beyond any objective notions of right and wrong. might does equal right, cuz they get what they want and you're not going to stop it. you can only delay it. and so you will ****inue to service her, and not another, better woman.
look her in the eyes and tell her how you really feel, stop the BS and give it to her straight. show her you are capable of not playing the games and end it like a real man, if you have the integrity to be a real man, that is. or just keep going back to the same-old same-old.
whateva...
pussy!
:whip:
phasar
Member
Gokmog said:
mate. take it easy. you are only half right. i do agree with you. but this is not the thread for that.
think of it this way... if he had a girl, just as hot as the previous one, but who is more giving than the previous one, do you not think he would "automatically" be able to beam at her when their eyes meet, so that she knows what's what? he would. this is not a training issue, or a knowledge issue, or an empathy issue. this is nothing more than a power issue. what we really have is a situation, where one person has more power to deal out than another.
Gokmog
Member
you're right, ryano ("hooooe!"?).
it's just that he is turning out to be such a weakling! why can't he just masturbate? it's like he thinks with his **** and he feels with his ****, if you cut him off at the navel his legs would still walk around because his heart and brain are really his penis! at least then he wouldn't go typing/jabbering on about ending relationships he has no business even considering he has control over! he should just shut up and be at this woman's beck and call, no matter what she's doing when he's not around. he's a whiny little b****, at least now we know who's b**** he is!
i'm calming down. i'm getting used to this. you know what? i'm not going to be a problem, here. in fact, now i'm looking *forward* to watching him go back to her. that would make me *happy*! yeah, that's right! HAPPY! HA HA! see? see that?!
handzilla needs to learn a new word: subservient. and here's the usage for you, handzilla: "You are subservient." remember that, handzilla. mark my words, boy, mark them well!
[slams door]
:frustrate
it's just that he is turning out to be such a weakling! why can't he just masturbate? it's like he thinks with his **** and he feels with his ****, if you cut him off at the navel his legs would still walk around because his heart and brain are really his penis! at least then he wouldn't go typing/jabbering on about ending relationships he has no business even considering he has control over! he should just shut up and be at this woman's beck and call, no matter what she's doing when he's not around. he's a whiny little b****, at least now we know who's b**** he is!
i'm calming down. i'm getting used to this. you know what? i'm not going to be a problem, here. in fact, now i'm looking *forward* to watching him go back to her. that would make me *happy*! yeah, that's right! HAPPY! HA HA! see? see that?!
handzilla needs to learn a new word: subservient. and here's the usage for you, handzilla: "You are subservient." remember that, handzilla. mark my words, boy, mark them well!
[slams door]
:frustrate
handzilla
Active member
It's cool, TC. Remember I am still going out and meeting other women. In fact I met a couple decent candidates over the weekend.
I'm not even really chasing this girl anymore. If that was the case then I'd be calling her and asking her trying see her and whatnot. She's the one getting at me. I think I am slowly gaining more control in this situation and eventually I will have her wrapped around my finger.
According to her past I am the best thing that has ever happened to her, she will have a hard time finding anyone better. As long as I show her that I don't need her, she will soon fall into the palm of my hand. Now if I started calling her and trying to increase contact she would freak and most likely go running. I have no intention of doing that. Now the moment I stop answering her calls again, she will freak even more and start obsessing about me and trying to call more often. It's about that Confidence, control, and challenge.
Of course I stayed with her last Friday again. She was kinda drunk when I got there and said some interesting things:
"...I've just never known with you."
"I was happy to see you when I ran into you the other night... but not the bf/gf kind of happy."
Me I just sat back like "yeah whatever" as she ranted on. Once she calmed down and the intimacy started she looked me in the eye and whispered sorry.
The next night on my way walking to my car I decided to run a test on her. I texted her saying that I don't wanna drive home since I heard there were checkpoints out. She called me saying that if she was at home that she would tell me to come through but she was out with one of her guy friends. I came back with "Oh okay I see exactly how it is, now let me let you get back to your friend." And she's saying "No call me when you get home, I wanna know that your safe, will you call please?"
Me:"No I don't wanna interrupt your time with you and your friend"
Her:"Well then... fvck you if you're gonna be like---"
Me: "You had better come again. Don't ever come at me in that manner and disrespect me like that again...
She apogized promptly and sincerely.
Her: "But I'm gonna let you go since your all angry"
Me: "No I'm letting you go so you can get back to your friend."
I got home and she called back about 15 minutes later and did her best to make nice while she talked to me on her way home.
Now imagine who would be in total control if I tested her and checked her like this 3 more times. She would begin to think in "I don't want him to be mad at me" mode.
Gokmog some of what you say makes sense, but let keep things at a respectable level.
Believe it or not I am learning a lot from this situation. I'll also be in a better emotional state when I get my test levels through the roof again.
I'm not even really chasing this girl anymore. If that was the case then I'd be calling her and asking her trying see her and whatnot. She's the one getting at me. I think I am slowly gaining more control in this situation and eventually I will have her wrapped around my finger.
According to her past I am the best thing that has ever happened to her, she will have a hard time finding anyone better. As long as I show her that I don't need her, she will soon fall into the palm of my hand. Now if I started calling her and trying to increase contact she would freak and most likely go running. I have no intention of doing that. Now the moment I stop answering her calls again, she will freak even more and start obsessing about me and trying to call more often. It's about that Confidence, control, and challenge.
Of course I stayed with her last Friday again. She was kinda drunk when I got there and said some interesting things:
"...I've just never known with you."
"I was happy to see you when I ran into you the other night... but not the bf/gf kind of happy."
Me I just sat back like "yeah whatever" as she ranted on. Once she calmed down and the intimacy started she looked me in the eye and whispered sorry.
The next night on my way walking to my car I decided to run a test on her. I texted her saying that I don't wanna drive home since I heard there were checkpoints out. She called me saying that if she was at home that she would tell me to come through but she was out with one of her guy friends. I came back with "Oh okay I see exactly how it is, now let me let you get back to your friend." And she's saying "No call me when you get home, I wanna know that your safe, will you call please?"
Me:"No I don't wanna interrupt your time with you and your friend"
Her:"Well then... fvck you if you're gonna be like---"
Me: "You had better come again. Don't ever come at me in that manner and disrespect me like that again...
She apogized promptly and sincerely.
Her: "But I'm gonna let you go since your all angry"
Me: "No I'm letting you go so you can get back to your friend."
I got home and she called back about 15 minutes later and did her best to make nice while she talked to me on her way home.
Now imagine who would be in total control if I tested her and checked her like this 3 more times. She would begin to think in "I don't want him to be mad at me" mode.
Gokmog some of what you say makes sense, but let keep things at a respectable level.
Believe it or not I am learning a lot from this situation. I'll also be in a better emotional state when I get my test levels through the roof again.
bigpetefox
Board Sponsor
This is why I never post personal $hit.. Keep it civil, or locked it will be..
DmitryWI
I know nothing...
handzilla said:
Why? Why/ Why in the **** do you need this?
handzilla said:
And you'll never find anyone better than her if you keep acting like this. You two deserve each other...
handzilla said:
And then? You two will keep playing your stupid games back and forward for the rest of your life.
handzilla said:
You hated her for ****ing with your head beforeand now you do the same ****, you are no better than her. Forgive and move on.
handzilla said:
I don't believe it. But I hope one day you'll realize what you are doing.
Achilles13
:::6'4 240lbs EndoMorph:::
Gokmog said:
Lol. Good Post(majority anyways...)
phasar
Member
DmitryWI said:
this whole situation is not even remotely related to love. all the tears and blah blah, followed by the shag shag, followed by more blah blah, and then more tear tear, followed by some thinking and then repeat.
what you REALLY need is a whore. A good young whore. And then you will realize the difference between love and sex. you can clearly make the distinction. then you will find that you've learned a little bit more about love, especially when it's not linked to sex.
phasar
Member
handzilla said:
i don't doubt you. i do understand there is emotion involved. but i am looking at it from a very "bottom line" point of view. for example, if you were doing a job paying you $2500 USD a month. and you had some issues with this person or that person, and this person backstabbed you, and you backstabbed this person back, and the manager didn't roster you on a PH when it's double pay and gave you more work than some other person, or forced you to do this instead of letting you do that, blah, blah, blah.......... you would try to work things out constantly, although you are not truly happy right? But lets say for example, the exact same job, with NONE of these negative things, and everybody loves you, and everybody is willing to help you, etc.etc. BUT they dock $1250USD a month off of your pay. Which would you rather have???
so all i am saying, is that there are emotions involved, i know. there always are. but the bottom line is that her prime concern is to be a valuable human. and your primary concern is to be a valuable human also. That other person is just a mechanic to get what you want, so therefore, in reality, it could be her, it could be another girl. Heck, at this point, for you, it could be anybody really, as long they are attractive, and make you feel good. it doesn't even seem your prime focus is even to be friends with anymore, little less b/f, g/f. your just trying to get as much as you can, while trying to protect yourself as much as possible in the process.
BioHazzard
Banned
I'll tell you what, if you want her back and she means that much to you, then who are we to judge?handzilla said:
Here is what you should do.
Stay away from her. Don't call her. Don' check up on her. If she calls or texts, just tell her everything is fine and that both of you need some time off. Tell her you can't talk until after awhile.
Go get busy with the rest of your life. Hang out with your buddies. Do anything that keeps you from dwelling on her. Important, so you don't get overwhelmed by your own baggage. lol
There is no magic to this. Just that the human psychology is totally fvcked up. We all want the stuffs we either don't have or can't have. The more you want her, the less inclined she will be, in reciprocating the feeling you have for her. As soon as she gets a taste of NOT HAVING you, she would realize how much she desires you. If she doesn't, then you have just saved yourself a truckload of troubles down the road. Then you should just get on with your life.
Oh yeah. There is nothing sexist about this. What works for the guys, works for the gals too.
Human beings are all the same. We tend not to treasure that is in our hands. We yearn for those that is out of reach.ryano
Registered User
BioHazzard said:I'll tell you what, if you want her back and she means that much to you, then who are we to judge?
Here is what you should do.
Stay away from her. Don't call her. Don' check up on her. If she calls or texts, just tell her everything is fine and that both of you need some time off. Tell her you can't talk until after awhile.
Go get busy with the rest of your life. Hang out with your buddies. Do anything that keeps you from dwelling on her. Important, so you don't get overwhelmed by your own baggage. lol
There is no magic to this. Just that the human psychology is totally fvcked up. We all want the stuffs we either don't have or can't have. The more you want her, the less inclined she will be, in reciprocating the feeling you have for her. As soon as she gets a taste of NOT HAVING you, she would realize how much she desires you. If she doesn't, then you have just saved yourself a truckload of troubles down the road. Then you should just get on with your life.
Oh yeah. There is nothing sexist about this. What works for the guys, works for the gals too.
Hmm .. this sounds familiar.... like forty freakin times familiar :frustrate :rant:
Youll get there.
Gokmog
Member
well.
i guess i'm still here, posting in this thread. but it isn't because i'm concerned at all about Handzilla. quite the opposite, really. the real reason i'm here and reading these posts is for the other guys, because i don't even care anymore.
but i'm sure Handzilla is totally into my reading his posts and participating in this thread. but if he even asked if i cared about him i'd just brush him off and tell him like it is: i'm here because i'm out there, you know, looking around, seeing what other people have to say, just feelin' the scene, just chillin', ya know?
i bet when i leave he'll be SO sad and want me back. i just know it. but for now i'll visit, just a weekend thing. and when i read his posts it's just for amusement, it's not like i care or anything.
so for now i think i'll play it cool and show everyone who's REALLY in control!
i guess i'm still here, posting in this thread. but it isn't because i'm concerned at all about Handzilla. quite the opposite, really. the real reason i'm here and reading these posts is for the other guys, because i don't even care anymore.
but i'm sure Handzilla is totally into my reading his posts and participating in this thread. but if he even asked if i cared about him i'd just brush him off and tell him like it is: i'm here because i'm out there, you know, looking around, seeing what other people have to say, just feelin' the scene, just chillin', ya know?
i bet when i leave he'll be SO sad and want me back. i just know it. but for now i'll visit, just a weekend thing. and when i read his posts it's just for amusement, it's not like i care or anything.
so for now i think i'll play it cool and show everyone who's REALLY in control!
Gokmog
Member
so... no responses. not that i even care about reading anything from Handzilla.
do you think i should become a contributing member of this board, because that way i can send PMs (the equivalent of cell phone messaging)? maybe if i leave a message or two, here and there, maybe he'll respond. make him want me again, and then when he writes to me i'll totally ignore him, drive him crazy. yeah, i bet that'd work...
i'm so lonely... i know i shouldn't write here but i just can't help it!
do you think i should become a contributing member of this board, because that way i can send PMs (the equivalent of cell phone messaging)? maybe if i leave a message or two, here and there, maybe he'll respond. make him want me again, and then when he writes to me i'll totally ignore him, drive him crazy. yeah, i bet that'd work...
i'm so lonely... i know i shouldn't write here but i just can't help it!
Achilles13
:::6'4 240lbs EndoMorph:::
Gokmog said:
ROTFLZ!:icon_lol:
toughchick401
Well-known member
Gokmog said:
Grow up....We have all been in similar situations, ok maybe not like this one, but we all make mistakes, we all carry on about things that mean alot to us....
Achilles13
:::6'4 240lbs EndoMorph:::
toughchick401 said:
Not defending Gokmog, but don't you think that if he doesn't want to leave he should go ahead and put up with what she is doing to him instead of saying he's ready to leave? I can understand he still has feelings and doesn't want to leave, but he should'nt come on here saying how he wants to leave, he's done, this that and the third?
ArnoldIsMyIdol
Member
Do you have a pic of this girl?
ose:
Gokmog
Member
i'm surprised at the lack of humor on the part of some of the other responders in this thread. you want ME to grow up? it's not like i'm crass. do you dudes/dudettes really not get it? can't you see the point i'm making?
whatever is going on i'm sure most cyber-communities don't like being drawn into something where the person who's asking for help makes it very clear that they are not actually interested in change, in helping themselves. if this dude's really this powerless under her spell then i don't think there's much any of us can do. i gave him some excellent book suggestions, very short and appropriate books i might add. just because you can't appreciate me doesn't mean i'm not a contributor here.
Handzilla is a weakend schlucktoy.
end of story?
whatever is going on i'm sure most cyber-communities don't like being drawn into something where the person who's asking for help makes it very clear that they are not actually interested in change, in helping themselves. if this dude's really this powerless under her spell then i don't think there's much any of us can do. i gave him some excellent book suggestions, very short and appropriate books i might add. just because you can't appreciate me doesn't mean i'm not a contributor here.
Handzilla is a weakend schlucktoy.
end of story?
toughchick401
Well-known member
Gokmog said:
I never said you werent a contributor, but the way your doing it is well mean. I mean we have all been in love, done stupid things when we now sit back and think, I cant belive i did that?, said that or felt that.
You are also right you have the right to speak your mind, but the name calling? pointless
phasar
Member
toughchick401 said:
absolutely. the main point of this thread is about the guys feelings. from an outsiders point of view, it is obvious what he should do/feel. but he is from the inside looking out. all this namecalling is just saying that he feels that he is better than the other guy - which he isn't. anybody can be in this situation.
spunkles182
Member
:clap2:toughchick401 said:
JPmess
New member
I read the first 89 posts and decided to jump to the end and see if you were still dealing with this situation. After almost four months I'm disappointed to see that you are. Nothing against you personally, I've been in the same situation, as the many who have posted have also. I know that alot has transpired in those four months but you have to take a step back and realize you are the one that put yourself in this situation.
In the beginning the stupid things we do for love are forgivable but there comes a point where you have to cut your losses. As some have said, you are right where she wants you. You are an intelligent guy, from the little I have read about you, and have done nothing to prove that wrong. Step back and look at this situation with some logic. You said you want "emotional independence". You will never get it if you are spending weekends with her and texting her to "test" her. Bro, enough is enough. I don't mean any disrespect by any of this, I know emotions make us do some crazy things.
Again...you just need to cut your losses...its a hard fact, but the truth usually is...good luck man!
In the beginning the stupid things we do for love are forgivable but there comes a point where you have to cut your losses. As some have said, you are right where she wants you. You are an intelligent guy, from the little I have read about you, and have done nothing to prove that wrong. Step back and look at this situation with some logic. You said you want "emotional independence". You will never get it if you are spending weekends with her and texting her to "test" her. Bro, enough is enough. I don't mean any disrespect by any of this, I know emotions make us do some crazy things.
Again...you just need to cut your losses...its a hard fact, but the truth usually is...good luck man!
phasar
Member
JPmess said:
i disagree. i think it is ok that he spends weekends with her. it will definately be worse for him if he goes cold turkey. HOWEVER, what i feel he has to do, is find a similar quality girl ASAP. and then cut his losses. i've been in a situation b4 where the girl was really really hot, who was way out of my league. i finally broke it off thinking what i really needed was a girl 20% less attracitve but 50% more giving. it was a mistake. ride it till the very end, or until you get somebody else.
the only thing that i feel is nOT ok, is spending the time with this girl *thinking* that anything will come out of it ultimately. cuz nothing will. the moving on part is imminent.
phasar
Member
JPmess said:
well, i am assuming he does not have other resources. or at least that's what i gather from his posts.
if he has at least one good group of guy friends (preferrably more than one) who he can hang out with all the time, or other female friends who he hangs out with from time to time, then YES, stop all communication with this girl.
sure you can go from being a smoker to not without withdrawing slowly, but it would be recommended to withdraw gradually. and u can go from a job to no job in a day, but it would be better to jump jobs (finding a replacement) b4 you quit your current job.
he's had plenty of time to withdraw, which is what leads me to believe that he doesn't have other resources to help him out of this emotional hole.
the thing is this, would u agree with me if i said he would drop her in a minute if he had a suitable replacement.
toughchick401
Well-known member
phasar said:
Your post confuses me? do guys really think like that, I mean is going for a girl who is less pretty vs a pretty girl because you think she is more giving? Perfect example of why I am single
games, they hurt my head.
ArnoldIsMyIdol
Member
toughchick401 said:Your post confuses me? do guys really think like that, I mean is going for a girl who is less pretty vs a pretty girl because you think she is more giving? Perfect example of why I am single
Actually what he says is true. The less attractive girl does not have as much of a big head and is easier to manage.