Hey guys, i hope ur all doing well and thanks to all in advance. So basically i have been contemplating on wether to write this or not because this may be one of the most important decisions if not most in my life and for my future, so basically no lies(so dont start attacking), but i started gear a bit young and it was after a year and a half of natty training, but if anyone here ever saw my old posts i gained 55 lbs in a year and a half and went from 167 lbs to 220 lbs and already had people accuse me of roids, i am very genetically gifted, not blowing steam up my ass but im a pure mesomorph. To make this post shorter i had a first test E cycle for 7 weeks(i know, it was my coach at the time and i barely knew ****) but still gained 20 lbs, but it was kinda quality mass as i liked my look, then came for my second cycle which was a cut, and i met the love of my life, she was something else man, Trenbolone Acetate. Man this **** had me ruining my relationships with all my ex gfs at the time,friends, and pretty much everyone and everything. To shorten this i later ran tren for 3 more times, but by the second tren cycle this is where i was sucked in and started blasting and cruising and convinced myself this is the most important thing in my life, i was arrogant and hotheaded af btw, u can even see my old posts and how my attitude was back then. So this july(3rd tren run) i had previously tried 1 cutting and 1 bulking cycle with tren involved, with this run i tried to make this a recomp and have alternate phases as i felt like i really understood my body, and holy **** this cycle absolutely changed me it was 500 mg of tren with 250 test E and 50 mg var(im not writing cycle layout because this isnt the point) so i got to 225 lbs to 9%(even heavier when i carbed up) and i looked a like an adonis man, i loved the look and for the first time i was starting to have a slight freaky look compared to my younger aesthetic physique and i loved it but for some reason this cycle was the strongest in term of side effects for some reason, i was soo aggressive i loved it with the euphoria and alpha feeling, i would explode for no reason on my friends and gf and was very small minded if u would say, anyways i see my friend who does the same **** i do and all about that life, bald, yeah completely bald(obviously he shaved it), this was after a couple of months of not seeing him and he was like **** tren and winny, whats the point of looking like a greek god without hair, and i panicked as i was already fed up with some side effects like sweats and aggression and was starting to fear things like fertility and hair loss(already had acne and got rid of it with accutane so i have some scars on my chest), i was so much more mature at that stage of my life and decided to end this life and go natty, i lost 17 lbs while obviously gaining a bit of fat getting to around 12-14%, currently at 14 i would say since im trying to kinda bulk but it feels so pointless natty, anyways the reason i told u all of this is because i need to decide as obviously after 5 months of being off steroids and losing the gains, the power, the aggression , and the fullness for some reason, i feel like my arms have lost 2 complete inches man and this sucks. Now for the bloodwork, After running nolva at 40 mg and clomid at 100 mg for 6 weeks
(no access to hcg at the time) and by the 8th week( 2 weeks after pct) had my test come back at 270 ng/dl, but 3-4 months later while using ginseng and test boosters and all that i feel like im atleast over 400 maybe possibly if im lucky almost at 500 as i am getting pumps again, gained strength and lost the lethargy and kinda have a decent sex drive(wouldn't say the right one for my age though), i couldn't get it up at the beginning of this and i learned it the hard way. So from the older more experienced guys(i promise i wont be an arrogant c*nt and will listen to ur advice)
how is the life of blasting and cruising forever? im a dentistry student but honestly nothing gives me pleasure in this life other than my physique for some reason(long story why), but its like when i pass the mirror in the gym i start to get pissed and kinda mad knowing what i used to look like, and how everyone tells me "yo, ur looking human again" or "ur looking less abnormal" and honestly do feel like i am a bit more good looking because of the bloated face on roids thing(tryna solve this if anyone has advice), so is this a bad decision to go on trt for life? even if i dont blast for 1-2-5 years id be cruising as id have put myself on TRT forever, i dont wanna compete anytime soon but ull never know what happens buts i mainly dont care about competing just so u guys know, i also intend to be on trt between my 30s and 40s anyways so whats the extra couple of years from now is how i think. So what i wanna know from the guys who are living this life what are the health, social, and financial consequnces , everything basically about this life from fertility to health markers, every single detail of what could go wrong and right.
Sorry for making this so long but it aint an easy decision and thanks to all who read this and who do reply
(no access to hcg at the time) and by the 8th week( 2 weeks after pct) had my test come back at 270 ng/dl, but 3-4 months later while using ginseng and test boosters and all that i feel like im atleast over 400 maybe possibly if im lucky almost at 500 as i am getting pumps again, gained strength and lost the lethargy and kinda have a decent sex drive(wouldn't say the right one for my age though), i couldn't get it up at the beginning of this and i learned it the hard way. So from the older more experienced guys(i promise i wont be an arrogant c*nt and will listen to ur advice)
how is the life of blasting and cruising forever? im a dentistry student but honestly nothing gives me pleasure in this life other than my physique for some reason(long story why), but its like when i pass the mirror in the gym i start to get pissed and kinda mad knowing what i used to look like, and how everyone tells me "yo, ur looking human again" or "ur looking less abnormal" and honestly do feel like i am a bit more good looking because of the bloated face on roids thing(tryna solve this if anyone has advice), so is this a bad decision to go on trt for life? even if i dont blast for 1-2-5 years id be cruising as id have put myself on TRT forever, i dont wanna compete anytime soon but ull never know what happens buts i mainly dont care about competing just so u guys know, i also intend to be on trt between my 30s and 40s anyways so whats the extra couple of years from now is how i think. So what i wanna know from the guys who are living this life what are the health, social, and financial consequnces , everything basically about this life from fertility to health markers, every single detail of what could go wrong and right.
Sorry for making this so long but it aint an easy decision and thanks to all who read this and who do reply
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