Deep/Real talk, Leaving this lifestyle and goin natty or not?

JoeStethics

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Hey guys, i hope ur all doing well and thanks to all in advance. So basically i have been contemplating on wether to write this or not because this may be one of the most important decisions if not most in my life and for my future, so basically no lies(so dont start attacking), but i started gear a bit young and it was after a year and a half of natty training, but if anyone here ever saw my old posts i gained 55 lbs in a year and a half and went from 167 lbs to 220 lbs and already had people accuse me of roids, i am very genetically gifted, not blowing steam up my ass but im a pure mesomorph. To make this post shorter i had a first test E cycle for 7 weeks(i know, it was my coach at the time and i barely knew ****) but still gained 20 lbs, but it was kinda quality mass as i liked my look, then came for my second cycle which was a cut, and i met the love of my life, she was something else man, Trenbolone Acetate. Man this **** had me ruining my relationships with all my ex gfs at the time,friends, and pretty much everyone and everything. To shorten this i later ran tren for 3 more times, but by the second tren cycle this is where i was sucked in and started blasting and cruising and convinced myself this is the most important thing in my life, i was arrogant and hotheaded af btw, u can even see my old posts and how my attitude was back then. So this july(3rd tren run) i had previously tried 1 cutting and 1 bulking cycle with tren involved, with this run i tried to make this a recomp and have alternate phases as i felt like i really understood my body, and holy **** this cycle absolutely changed me it was 500 mg of tren with 250 test E and 50 mg var(im not writing cycle layout because this isnt the point) so i got to 225 lbs to 9%(even heavier when i carbed up) and i looked a like an adonis man, i loved the look and for the first time i was starting to have a slight freaky look compared to my younger aesthetic physique and i loved it but for some reason this cycle was the strongest in term of side effects for some reason, i was soo aggressive i loved it with the euphoria and alpha feeling, i would explode for no reason on my friends and gf and was very small minded if u would say, anyways i see my friend who does the same **** i do and all about that life, bald, yeah completely bald(obviously he shaved it), this was after a couple of months of not seeing him and he was like **** tren and winny, whats the point of looking like a greek god without hair, and i panicked as i was already fed up with some side effects like sweats and aggression and was starting to fear things like fertility and hair loss(already had acne and got rid of it with accutane so i have some scars on my chest), i was so much more mature at that stage of my life and decided to end this life and go natty, i lost 17 lbs while obviously gaining a bit of fat getting to around 12-14%, currently at 14 i would say since im trying to kinda bulk but it feels so pointless natty, anyways the reason i told u all of this is because i need to decide as obviously after 5 months of being off steroids and losing the gains, the power, the aggression , and the fullness for some reason, i feel like my arms have lost 2 complete inches man and this sucks. Now for the bloodwork, After running nolva at 40 mg and clomid at 100 mg for 6 weeks
(no access to hcg at the time) and by the 8th week( 2 weeks after pct) had my test come back at 270 ng/dl, but 3-4 months later while using ginseng and test boosters and all that i feel like im atleast over 400 maybe possibly if im lucky almost at 500 as i am getting pumps again, gained strength and lost the lethargy and kinda have a decent sex drive(wouldn't say the right one for my age though), i couldn't get it up at the beginning of this and i learned it the hard way. So from the older more experienced guys(i promise i wont be an arrogant c*nt and will listen to ur advice)
how is the life of blasting and cruising forever? im a dentistry student but honestly nothing gives me pleasure in this life other than my physique for some reason(long story why), but its like when i pass the mirror in the gym i start to get pissed and kinda mad knowing what i used to look like, and how everyone tells me "yo, ur looking human again" or "ur looking less abnormal" and honestly do feel like i am a bit more good looking because of the bloated face on roids thing(tryna solve this if anyone has advice), so is this a bad decision to go on trt for life? even if i dont blast for 1-2-5 years id be cruising as id have put myself on TRT forever, i dont wanna compete anytime soon but ull never know what happens buts i mainly dont care about competing just so u guys know, i also intend to be on trt between my 30s and 40s anyways so whats the extra couple of years from now is how i think. So what i wanna know from the guys who are living this life what are the health, social, and financial consequnces , everything basically about this life from fertility to health markers, every single detail of what could go wrong and right.
Sorry for making this so long but it aint an easy decision and thanks to all who read this and who do reply
 
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Dthcore

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If longevity is your goal I don’t think getting on trt now would be the best option IF you’re able to get your natural production to healthy ranges. I only say that because of the negative cardiovascular health complications Gear can have on people that use it.

I plan to be on TRT at some point to, I know there is a good chance it will shorten my life. But it’s with the intention of trying to enhance quality of life when I’m older.

In the end of the day I’m sure there is someone with more knowledge in regards to this in our forum that can chime in.

As far as the psychological effect you are experiencing. It’s simple, you liked the way you looked. You aren’t happy with your current state or at least satisfied as much as you were then. But you have to ask yourself if that cosmetic look you want is worth it’s cons as well. Only you can make that choice bro.

My suggestion is to honestly venture off into other things in life. This world is massive, filled with so much culture, passion, and wonders that exceed our superficial standards. But most of us don’t take the time to experience them because we devote ourselves to our looks. When something like that can go sour in an instant due to injuries or many other reasons. That’s usually what it takes to get maybe the most of us to look at other things In life that could be worth while.

Sorry if this isn’t very helpful. But it’s all I have, hopefully it’s helpful to some degree.
 
Jinsun

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My suggestion is to honestly venture off into other things in life. This world is massive, filled with so much culture, passion, and wonders that exceed our superficial standards. But most of us don’t take the time to experience them because we devote ourselves to our looks. When something like that can go sour in an instant due to injuries or many other reasons. That’s usually what it takes to get maybe the most of us to look at other things In life that could be worth while.
This.
 

CroLifter

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Everything in moderation. B & C (not legit trt with maybe one blast per year, but constantly keeping high doses in with multiple blasts per year) if you are not a pro is not moderation in my opinion.

And i dont think trt will shorten your life, if you need it and if you keep your levels mid-high normal, but not top of the range. It is merely mimicking what you would naturally have.
 
xR1pp3Rx

xR1pp3Rx

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socially: IDGAF what anyone thinks.. i do what i do to make myself feel good about myself and thats not much different than a women getting cometic sugery.. only i have to do a level of maintenence that perhaps post surgery wouldnt be involved..

Financially: This can be an issue.. currently Im kinda struggling with funds because of a house we purchased and began to remodel. thus i have strung out my test dosing to every 10-14 days. I literally have 2 shots worth left and am hoping i have enough money left this month to buy some gear for winter bulking. the cost is bigger than you might think... typically i spend about 1k a yr buying from bm dealers. and research sites. this isnt a lot at all to spend... ive done mcuh worse in the past. Im older than dirt now so i dont go too big anymore..

Healh: my most recent bloods came back essentially perfect.. just have to watch the RBC ... I dont really abuse gear though, and always try to be safe with cleanliness and self care. Acne can and has from time to time been a bane.. for me seems mostly related to DHTs and usually can be controlled.

i cant believe i read that book of self dribble... it didnt need to be said and i didnt need to know it to answer your question FFS. please omit frivolous words next time.,
 
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JoeStethics

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OP, this is your decision, be a man, do your research, and make up your own mind. Dont look for enabling, or for some internet daddys to tell you what to do.
OP, this is your decision, be a man, do your research, and make up your own mind. Dont look for enabling, or for some internet daddys to tell you what to do.
This is actually the one time where i want to hear people's experience and im especially interested in the older guys who started this lifestyle at a young age like me. The thing is ive tried the blast and cruise life, but i still have not tried to get kids, im still really young for balding to show, for now im financially stable but yeah all these things is what i wanna know/hear about from the older guys who went through this life.
I still remember u, u saw the beginning of my obsession with tren happen infront of you ever since my first run.
 

JoeStethics

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An important thing about this is that i will basically run tren atleast one blast a year, i would mainly use test/tren/eq to bulk and test/tren/var or mast to cut, either i run two tren blasts a year or just one, but i could also see a couple of years passing by just cruising on TRT, maybe trying npp and deca instead later on through the years as i get older. My main question is how bad is the tren to this equation? like not just normal blasting and cruising but basically blasting tren (never more than 3 months in a row though and always resting the same time as on) how much worse is this scenario with tren being involved(one or two blasts a year for example)?
 

CroLifter

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If it were me i would personally stick to being natty/legit trt (if needed) and cycle/blast once per year up to 12 weeks and time the blast around particular event(s) where i wanted to look my best, whatever that is. Unless i was competing of course.

Tren is harsh but it imho comes down to how much time you spend on supraphysiologic doses that will determine the amount of damage.
For example c-17 aa orals hit liver and lipids hard. Tren supposedly hits lipids and kidneys hard, and might cause neurodegeneration with long term use. High doses of testosterone are deleterious to the heart directly (through direct ar stimulation by dht).
Point is they are all deleterious in suprapharmacological doses but it all comes down to minimizing the risks through monitoring your bloodwork and of course depending on how much risk you are willing to take.

That is at least how i look at it.

Btw if you are a long time user you have more knowledge than a lot of guys on this board, including me. I dont know how many vets are around here, i see kore and more newcomers (myself included, been doing this only since march).

Again, i think keeping the doses and time on sensible will be your best bet.
 
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manifesto

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Too hard to read all that without paragraphs...🤦‍♂️
 

BBiceps

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I know what you mean, I was on TRT and successfully got off, I “feel” fine now but I struggle with the thoughts of being “ON”. I do a few cycles of orals a year and take Clomid in between, it gives me my “fix” for now but idk how much longer until I go back on TRT, I miss the “look”...

Lol, I don’t think my story helped you though ;)
 

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