Cuffs' Road To Recovery...Let The Healing Begin!
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Cuffs
Well-known member
The ex is really becoming psycho now. She is relentless in knowing who the chick is that I'm seeing. She thinks I've been taking her to the house and that I hide her when she shows up unexpectedly. She began calling her a rebound, which she does meet that category, but refuses to believe her own new relationship is a rebound. She has a different theory that the one who leaves a relationship for another, that is not considered a rebound. It's only for the person who is left and finds someone. Although her new dude is going through a divorce at the same time as well. 
Anyways, I'm really seeing the light with how she is, and I remember all the things that really pissed me off about her. I have no desire of working things out with her, as I have seen the light. Don't get me wrong, the good times we had were great, and I will always feel a form of love and care for her, but just not how I thought I did.
Anyways, I'm really seeing the light with how she is, and I remember all the things that really pissed me off about her. I have no desire of working things out with her, as I have seen the light. Don't get me wrong, the good times we had were great, and I will always feel a form of love and care for her, but just not how I thought I did.
kwyckemynd00
Registered User
LOL...man...its comical how she acts just like a high school girl :lol:
Glad you see the light...:thumbsup:
Glad you see the light...:thumbsup:
Sunder
Active member
wranglergirl said:
Sadly, I'd vouch for it happening to guys, or at least me. I'm too much of a softy when it comes to "feelings" and such for my liking.
Damnit! I swear my brain is hardwired like a female....er, a lesbian that is. Honestly, I don't know how you girls stay sane...
Cuffs
Well-known member
No...the ex took my digital camera and said she was keeping it.dito said:With pics???
Get this, my ex called me last week and said she took a few photos and left them on my digital for me to see. They were of her tits. We talked a bit and she got pissed about something. She then said she was taking the pics and camera back. LOL...I just laughed.
the Cardinal
Member
Rock on, my friend. I hope that you continue to withhold the details of your personal life (for both selfish and practical reasons -the ex is a witch, and you shouldn't expose innocents to her venom). Not only will it drive her batshit crazy, but it may prevent her from trying to sabotage your personal life by spreading lies. And once her "new" relationship goes kaput, she's bound to come back begging and pleading ( AND IT WILL Go "KAPUT" - her so-called new guy is most probably using her just to get his rocks off until his divorce is final - that's why she was capitulating back and forth for the few weeks before she finally left you - her instincts, rightfully so, were telling her she was making a mistake in thinking this other guy is gonna want her after his divorce, but I'm sure he said all the right things to reassure her and duh! - she fell for it.). When she does ask to get back together, RUN, do not walk to the nearest exit. Once betrayal of the magnitude she's pulled off has occurred, there is no way in hell you can ever trust her again. And once she's miserable, she will do her best to make you miserable.Cuffs said:
As for the nonsense about "rebound" relationship, why should it matter to her (and what a lame-ass thing to bring up!)? Rather than wishing you well, methinks she prefers to see you miserable and broken as opposed to happy and content without her in your life, so my advice is don't even engage her in debate anymore (which will make her act even crazier!). Just say "you're absolutely right, dear" over and over again to any comments she makes about your personal life, and I guarantee she'll be declared certifiably insane in less than a month. I believe you have earned the right to subtley rub her face in your new-found happiness - being "decent" shouldn't prevent you from occassionally tweaking her - especially when she persisently inquires about personal matters of which she is no longer entitled to know!
BTW, if she equates "rebound" with being used, then in the words of that great philosopher Bill Withers: "Iiii wanna spread the news, that if it feels this good being used, you just keep on using me - until you use me up!"
"Living well is the best revenge." - George Herbert
Excelsior!
BULK_CITY
New member
still here reading your updates cuffs, my heart goes out to you
you may want to check out the book MAXIUM ACHIEVEMENT - Brian Tracy. It's about how to find out what you want in life and how to be happy doing it/getting there and how to think/handle relationships. I just read it and it's very helpful.
Your ex-wife is having a very difficult time with this, don't let her words/actions fool you. I see sooooooooo many wholes in her story/logic it's ridiculous. I could slice and dice her verbally by just stating facts/points; but, DON'T. DO NOT think negative thoughts about her or yourself. Your thoughts become your words and your words become your actions and your actions become your life.
Keep seeing the counselor, they know what they are doing.
My advice would be to let it go. How to do this? realise it may take time to fully get over it but how fast you get over it is entirely up to you. You seem to have a really postive/good outlook on the whole situation and your life ahead so I have NO DOUBT that you will become an even better man through this process. I would also ask to sit her down and to talk. I would tell her I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to hurt her feelings and that I wished her the best, and to not worry about the things she's done (that is, if she does not willingly apologised for behaving so poorly) and that you are over it (even if its not true... if you keep telling yourslef you are over it and look to the future, eventually it will be true.. Law of Attention/Concentration). This is entirely SELFISH. This helps give you piece of mind knowing that you can put this all behind you and look to the future.
I would cut off all contact with her except for things you are required to do (money/belongings etc) after this. She is a VERY NEGATIVE person/influence on you and you need to cut out 100% of the negativeity in your life.
you may want to check out the book MAXIUM ACHIEVEMENT - Brian Tracy. It's about how to find out what you want in life and how to be happy doing it/getting there and how to think/handle relationships. I just read it and it's very helpful.
Your ex-wife is having a very difficult time with this, don't let her words/actions fool you. I see sooooooooo many wholes in her story/logic it's ridiculous. I could slice and dice her verbally by just stating facts/points; but, DON'T. DO NOT think negative thoughts about her or yourself. Your thoughts become your words and your words become your actions and your actions become your life.
Keep seeing the counselor, they know what they are doing.
My advice would be to let it go. How to do this? realise it may take time to fully get over it but how fast you get over it is entirely up to you. You seem to have a really postive/good outlook on the whole situation and your life ahead so I have NO DOUBT that you will become an even better man through this process. I would also ask to sit her down and to talk. I would tell her I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to hurt her feelings and that I wished her the best, and to not worry about the things she's done (that is, if she does not willingly apologised for behaving so poorly) and that you are over it (even if its not true... if you keep telling yourslef you are over it and look to the future, eventually it will be true.. Law of Attention/Concentration). This is entirely SELFISH. This helps give you piece of mind knowing that you can put this all behind you and look to the future.
I would cut off all contact with her except for things you are required to do (money/belongings etc) after this. She is a VERY NEGATIVE person/influence on you and you need to cut out 100% of the negativeity in your life.
Cuffs
Well-known member
Very true Bulk. Thanks for the advice. I have done most of what you said. I am over her. Of course, there's a part of me that cares for her. However, I am not thinking along the lines of getting back together at all. I have cut off all contact by me. She is the one who calls. I haven't directly called her for probably over 3 weeks. She continues to call almost daily, sometimes several times. I have just ignored a lot of the calls. Last night she called just to call. She did tell me she was filing the divorce papers today, then she just hung on the phone and there was no conversation. I have kept my conversations with her short and to the point, but nicely. When there is a short silence, like last night, I ask if there's anything else. If not, then I end the call.
She is freaked that I am seeing someone. She was wanting me to stay on the backburner and wait to see if she was making a mistake or not. Well, I can't do that and have her do the same thing to me another few years down the road. I have really seen who she can be, and I don't like it. It took almost 8 years. I had seen the signs before, but just chose to ignore them.
She is freaked that I am seeing someone. She was wanting me to stay on the backburner and wait to see if she was making a mistake or not. Well, I can't do that and have her do the same thing to me another few years down the road. I have really seen who she can be, and I don't like it. It took almost 8 years. I had seen the signs before, but just chose to ignore them.
wranglergirl
Member
Dont even look back at your soon to be ex...she is sadly a woman with some issues..and just to bad you had to fnd that out.....I truely hope that your new girlfriend will bring you much happiness, as you def deserve it....
(((HUGZ))))
(((HUGZ))))
Cuffs
Well-known member
Thanks WG, your support really means a lot to me. This new girl really brings out the good in me. However, most relationships are this way in the beginning. That is why we decided to slow it down a bit. I still have a long road ahead, and she's very busy with work and the academy. She lives about 50 miles from me, but it's where I work. If all goes well, and my son's mother moves back to the area, I'll be able to get a place over there.
kwyckemynd00
Registered User
I've watched my brother go through that **** for 5 years, and that idiot still hasn't picked up the hint. That **** drives me nutz.Cuffs said:
Amazing how clear things are in hind sight, right
kwyckemynd00
Registered User
:thumbsup:
Maybe there is a good explaination right there! One thing is for sure, however, there sure are some loose screws....
Maybe there is a good explaination right there! One thing is for sure, however, there sure are some loose screws....