Chuck Norris really does kick ass

Bigfishy

Member
Invalid Link Removed Check out the debut video, this is going to be sick. I love grappling, but stand up is my meat and potatos.
 
I couldn't watch the whole video. I **** my pants when Chuck started talking and ran away. I was afraid to come back in the room until it was over.
 
I saw one of these here in Denver at a local MMA show. A few fights were pretty interesting, but it got old pretty fast. I was happy when it was over until I found out just the first half was over and I had another half to go. I would of left except there was a fight I wanted to see that was happening afterwards.
 
It was an demo match, so it wasn't official. Here's a link about it

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Near the bottom it talks about the event in Denver last year. I guess they could of worked the kinks out since then and made it better. Maybe the quality of the fighters are better now too.
 
FACTS ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS


-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too
bad he has never cried. -Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
[FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif]-[/FONT]Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't
the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as
the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
[FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif]-Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way into the world."
-[/FONT][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif,mon]Eating Captain Crunch does not hurt the roof of his mouth
-[/FONT]There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter
comes straight out
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
-What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims
before they died? His shoe.
-Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
-Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
-Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
 
-Chuck Norris doesnt believe in Germany
-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down
-Chuck Norris's "total gym" commercials are based on his real life experiences in killing whores
-Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, he waits
-When the boogie man goes to sleep everynite, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse...Horses are hung like Chuck Norris
 
My favorite is :

- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
 
been collecting these little tidbits since they appeared on the net. i think i'll make a thread with them all. few hundred or so.

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
 
Chuck Norris was talking to his kids one day...they were asking him how they got their names, His oldest daughter Rose asked "daddy, why is my name Rose" Chuck replied "when you were born I put a Rose on your face" His second youngest daughter then asked him "and daddy why is my name Violet" Chuck replied "oh sweetheart, because when you were born I put a Violet on you face" Then Chuck's youngest daughter spoke and said "buawghk luadbmuua, bluag guagu .." Chuck then said "shut up Roundhouse Kick"
 
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Covers most of them.

And a bonus link - Tony Danza reads chucknorrisfacts to Chuck Norris : Invalid Link Removed
 
I always liked this one;
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
:gotsearch
 
apparently, ppl are claiming to have kicked his ass but if you search for proof, i.e. images, the truth lies there. zero results. :)
 
Beelzebub said:
apparently, ppl are claiming to have kicked his ass but if you search for proof, i.e. images, the truth lies there. zero results. :)
Click to expand...
I tried this...you are quite correct (not that you would risk the ire of Norris or anything foolhardly).
 

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