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Boyfriend drama

Elizzard

Elizzard

New member
Ok, so I'm having some issues with my boyfriend and his cell phone; specifically the fact that it's never on. I haven't seen him since Sunday...and he pretty much doesn't put out an efford to call me much during the week, but we always spend the weekends together. I know he loves me, but I just get so damn annoyed when he doesn't SHOW me that he loves me. Do you think I should be worried that he's getting bored with me, or is he just not trying anymore? Is it even ok for me to feel like he doesn't give enough to our relationship?
 
I'm willing to bet he's playing "I'll seem as though I don't give a **** so that she thinks I'm worth chasing" game.

If it is.. find out - ask him what the fucking deal is.

**** I hate game playing!

Good luck!
 
I agree, don't act all dramatic about it tho.... just confront him maturely, and ask him what his deal is. If he starts making excuses, then you have something more to ponder... right now, the vibe you're getting is so vague, it allows too many worries to run through your head...
make him put whatever the issue is out in the open...

Games are for kids... nuff said
 
well, he always says he's busy and whatnot...trust me I've confronted the issue. The thing is though, last night we were talking and his battery died (while he was at home)...he didn't plug it in to call me back...which was really hurtful to me, especially since we haven't spent much time together this week. Plus, we used to spend time together more and now it's just the weekends (granted I'm busy with school and he's working a few days a week, but I'm willing to make time, why isn't he?)...so it worries me. I guess if it's ment to be it will work, but I'm really getting annoyed with the way all of this is making me feel.
 
Games are for kids and anytime I played those games as a kid (I was younger than you) it was because I was done with the relationship. If he isn't respecting your needs you should dump his ass. You'll be better off without him. AM is full of buff guys who I'm sure would be happy to take his place.
 
Hate to be harsh, but "love" is a vastly overused word. I've been there, done that. If you think its love but it doesnt act like love, sorry to say, but aint love. My advice is break it off before it becomes too painful to do so. Find someone who's actions match their words.
 
custom said:
Hate to be harsh, but "love" is a vastly overused word. I've been there, done that. If you think its love but it doesnt act like love, sorry to say, but aint love. My advice is break it off before it becomes too painful to do so. Find someone who's actions match their words.
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Couldn't agree more, actions speak louder then words.
 
Definitely sounds like he's done with the relationship, and is just playing games at this point. Really sounds like your best decision would be to get out now.
 
Sounds to me like he's avoiding you. Sorry to say this about your boyfriend, but he apparently lacks the testicular fortitude to be straight with you.

-kwantam
 
ugh, I'll talk to him tonight about it. I REALLY hope things are ok...but thanks for all of the help, at least I know i'm not being too demanding.
 
Not trying to be a dick here but what is it with women and phones. I bought my previous gf a phone along with me and after that it was a major problem in the relationship. If I didn't pick up every call, whether I was screening or not, all hell broke loose.

If I can't deal with the fact I don't have total access with someone then something is wrong with me. If I can't deal with the fact that my signicant other should have total access to me, then something is wrong with me. WTF?
 
He always says he knows that he needs to call more often but that he's busy and he'll work on it. I don't want to seem like I'm nagging him. And I'm not expecting him to answer every one of my calls or call me every single free moment he has. I just want him to call me once a day, I think that's minimal for a strong relationship...communication is very important.



VanillaGorilla said:
What does he say when you ask him to call more often or to see him more in the week?
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Sir Foxx said:
Not trying to be a dick here but what is it with women and phones. I bought my previous gf a phone along with me and after that it was a major problem in the relationship. If I didn't pick up every call, whether I was screening or not, all hell broke loose.

If I can't deal with the fact I don't have total access with someone then something is wrong with me. If I can't deal with the fact that my signicant other should have total access to me, then something is wrong with me. WTF?
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i agree. personally, i hate phones. i tend to talk on them as little as possible. if someone calls me for no reason, then i consider it a waste of time. most likely, i have **** to do and i don't have the time to sit and bullshit for hours on end, especially everyday. either way, like the others have said, get it out in the open, face to face. then see if anything changes, or perhaps ya'll can come to a compromise that doesn't require a phone call everyday. JMO.
 
He always says he knows that he needs to call more often but that he's busy and he'll work on it. I don't want to seem like I'm nagging him. And I'm not expecting him to answer every one of my calls or call me every single free moment he has. I just want him to call me once a day, I think that's minimal for a strong relationship...communication is very important.
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Why don't you suggest talking at the same time every day like before you both go to bed or something like that?
 
i agree. personally, i hate phones. i tend to talk on them as little as possible. if someone calls me for no reason, then i consider it a waste of time. most likely, i have **** to do and i don't have the time to sit and bullshit for hours on end, especially everyday. either way, like the others have said, get it out in the open, face to face. then see if anything changes, or perhaps ya'll can come to a compromise that doesn't require a phone call everyday. JMO.
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If there was a girl you really liked wouldn't you make the time? I am not into talking on the phone that much either but there is a different between friends and a G/F.
 
VanillaGorilla said:
If there was a girl you really liked wouldn't you make the time? I am not into talking on the phone that much either but there is a different between friends and a G/F.
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I have to agree here. I fucking hate the phone (I've gone psycho and literally torn apart more than one cell phone on account of such frustrations), but when I'm into a girl I always like talking to her.

A while ago I had a girlfriend with whom I went through something very much like the situation you're describing, Elizzard. Things started out great, I would call her regularly and pick up the phone eagerly when she called. When things went south, I'd get a fricking stomach ache every time I heard my phone ringing. I eventually realized that I was just being a passive-aggressive ass, manned up, and broke it off with her.

If he's into you, he'll make time to talk to you. If he's ignoring your phone calls, there's a reason.

-kwantam
 
If he's ignoring you all the time, there is probably something up with that.

Having said that, I hate the fricken phone - and I RARELY EVER answer it. I used to have a cell phone, but I tossed it out after a while. For some reason, people think that people get cell phones so they can be contacted 24/7. Bull! I only got a cellphone so I can make calls whenever *I* want.

Sometimes I like to watch TV. If Survivor is on, and the phone rings - leave a message, because I ain't answering it. What am I going to say? I don't want to miss my show. It may not be important to them, but it's important to me. IF their message is urgent enough, then I'll call them when I want to.

I'm a busy guy, and always have lots of different things to do. I can't afford the time wasted on idle phone conversations - it drives me nuts. Hell - that's what email is for. I can do then when the time is good.

I live with my girlfriend, so take that with a grain of salt. But I still had a hard time answering calls when I was single to be honest.

But just something to consider - some people just don't like talking on phones...
 
All that being said I think the fact that he didn't call you back after his phone died isn't a good sign. My advise would be to talk to him about it tell him that it really bothers you and try suggesting that you talk at the same time every day like before bed to say goodnight even if it's only for five minutes or something. All I have to say is..... I am so glad not to be dating anymore.
 
Elizzard said:
He always says he knows that he needs to call more often but that he's busy and he'll work on it. I don't want to seem like I'm nagging him. And I'm not expecting him to answer every one of my calls or call me every single free moment he has. I just want him to call me once a day, I think that's minimal for a strong relationship...communication is very important.
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*boggle*

No offense but I'd flip out all "shining" style if a girl called me every day. Requiring a call every day just smacks of insecurity and neediness to me. If I didn't hear from someone for a week I'd wonder what was up, but every damned day?!

I have had this discussion with a girl I know a few times... She says when I grow up I'll understand :rofl: If growing up means being attached at the freaking hip to someone, not having any independance, having to account for all my actions to someone (gee, I thought growing up was all about being independant), then :run:
 
*boggle*

No offense but I'd flip out all "shining" style if a girl called me every day. Requiring a call every day just smacks of insecurity and neediness to me. If I didn't hear from someone for a week I'd wonder what was up, but every damned day?!

I have had this discussion with a girl I know a few times... She says when I grow up I'll understand If growing up means being attached at the freaking hip to someone, not having any independance, having to account for all my actions to someone (gee, I thought growing up was all about being independant), then"
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When you marry someone aren't you pretty much attached at the hip? Isn't that kind of the point when your dating? Most people are looking for someone to start a life with or to live the rest of their life with. That by definition isn't independence. I don't want to talk to my friends every day but I liked talking to my g/f every day and I liked seeing her every day or as much as possible. It's not because I am insecure but because I enjoy being with her. When you love someone you generally want to see them or talk to them as much as you can. That is the perspective that the girl you were talking to is coming from. It's not that she is insecure. I know if I liked someone and they didn't call me back or told me they didn't want to talk too much , I would get out of that relationship.
This is the main generation gap I see between my generation and people who are 5 + younger. They seemed more concerned about "hooking up" aka the one night stand than being in a relationship.
 
Guys this is absolutely hysterical. Elizzard is my gf whom I introduced to AM a while back and she began posting here. The "bf" she is referring to is me.

I always see these threads asking for advice but never thought one would be written about me lol.

Anyways, I fell asleep that night while my phone was charging to call her back. Not exactly a big deal to me at the time. I had no idea it was such a big deal to her but obviously I talked it over with her after seeing this thread and all is well (I hope).

Some of these responses are really classic though.
 
custom said:
Hate to be harsh, but "love" is a vastly overused word. I've been there, done that. If you think its love but it doesnt act like love, sorry to say, but aint love. My advice is break it off before it becomes too painful to do so. Find someone who's actions match their words.
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Oh come on Matt! You know how busy I am :) Ouch...
 
TheUsual said:
Oh come on Matt! You know how busy I am :) Ouch...
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Oh, you know I love you man...Oh wait...your're a pretty good guy... :lol: But seriously, I just offered advice from past experiences on my part; thats all. None of us really knows your situations, so we're just throwing in our 2 cents based on what has happened to us that sounds similar.
 
and reading that whole thing.......there is a book out there....its called he just isent into you...........

It makes alot of sense....goes for guys and girls.....if your into someone you make the time for someone, you call, you make time to spend together...if your getting anything but........He or she just isent into you.......

I agree vanilla, this is why I dont date for now anyway........:)
 
TheUsual said:
Guys this is absolutely hysterical. Elizzard is my gf whom I introduced to AM a while back and she began posting here. The "bf" she is referring to is me.
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Wow, that is hysterical. So did she deliberately post here knowing you would see it????
 
custom said:
Oh, you know I love you man...Oh wait...your're a pretty good guy... :lol: But seriously, I just offered advice from past experiences on my part; thats all. None of us really knows your situations, so we're just throwing in our 2 cents based on what has happened to us that sounds similar.
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haha I know im jk... I seriously thought the whole thread was just funny. The "situation" probably comes off as sounding like more of a problem/drama then it really is, but of course the advice is all appreciated.
 
No, I didn't deliberatly post for him to see it. I just wanted to check from a guys perspective to see if i was being too demanding.

Beowulf said:
Wow, that is hysterical. So did she deliberately post here knowing you would see it????
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Wow, that is hysterical. So did she deliberately post here knowing you would see it????
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It would appear that way. Sounds like someone is trying to tell you something.
I feel so dirty and used.lol

I was hoping the thread would last a little longer so I could throw in " and hows that workin for ya?"
 
VanillaGorilla said:
Why don't you suggest talking at the same time every day like before you both go to bed or something like that?
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good advice here!!! :) :) :cheers:
 
Bean said:
good advice here!!! :) :) :cheers:
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Bah then it becomes like a chore. There will always be that occasional day when I am exhausted and not wanting to talk to anyone. I want to talk to her when I want to talk to her :)
 
:think:
I know you don't mean it to sound bad...but "you'll talk when YOU want to talk?" what about when your girlfriend wants to talk to you...sounds like a one way street. Totally understandable that if you are having a bad and don't want to talk to anyone that's cool...but just the way you put it sounds bad. It reminds me of a Sex and the City episode when Big was dating a movie star and he kept saying, "she can get ahold of me, but I can never reach her" I'm starting to understand that more.



TheUsual said:
Bah then it becomes like a chore. There will always be that occasional day when I am exhausted and not wanting to talk to anyone. I want to talk to her when I want to talk to her :)
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Elizzard said:
:think:
I know you don't mean it to sound bad...but "you'll talk to me when YOU want to talk to me?" what about when i want to talk to you...sounds like a one way street.
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god relationships are so much fun
 
Wow, I bet you never thought you'd be hashing out relationship issues on a bodybuilding board.

(Note to self: don't introduce significant other Anabolic Minds)














Sorry bro, not trying to bust balls, but how can I resist.
 
Elizzard said:
:think:
I know you don't mean it to sound bad...but "you'll talk when YOU want to talk?" what about when your girlfriend wants to talk to you...sounds like a one way street. Totally understandable that if you are having a bad and don't want to talk to anyone that's cool...but just the way you put it sounds bad. It reminds me of a Sex and the City episode when Big was dating a movie star and he kept saying, "she can get ahold of me, but I can never reach her" I'm starting to understand that more.
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My point is just that I want to talk when I want to talk so that it stays a positive thing, not something that I dread ("Oh crap im in the middle of _____, but its the time when I have to call Erin"). I think I phrased it poorly.

Please for the love of god dont ever quote Sex and the City to me again, in person or on a forum :-P
 
TheUsual said:
My point is just that I want to talk when I want to talk so that it stays a positive thing, not something that I dread ("Oh crap im in the middle of _____, but its the time when I have to call Erin"). I think I phrased it poorly.

Please for the love of god dont ever quote Sex and the City to me again, in person or on a forum :-P
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*shrugs* you're in a relationship bro, women are needy, you're going to end up having to do a lot of **** you don't want to do :D

Personally I think that's a good argument for being "friends with benefits" unless you want to get married some time in the near future. But I'm jaded and cynical :D
 
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