Back to the dark side. Test/NPP/Dbol/gw

Brienn8989

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Well boys, had my doctors appointment today for my anxiety/depression. What a fucking waste of time. Prescribed me something I have already used and got zero relief. They said they couldn’t prescribe me anything for as needed because I used to be an alcoholic. So apparently I should just fall off the wagon and drink my anxiety/depression away until I inevitably die from stress.(not going to but **** me man) I feel defeated, I got my hopes up that this doctor would be the one to help me but no. But enough of the depressing ****, had a killer workout today. Endurance for days.
 
Matthersby

Matthersby

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Well boys, had my doctors appointment today for my anxiety/depression. What a fucking waste of time. Prescribed me something I have already used and got zero relief. They said they couldn’t prescribe me anything for as needed because I used to be an alcoholic. So apparently I should just fall off the wagon and drink my anxiety/depression away until I inevitably die from stress.(not going to but **** me man) I feel defeated, I got my hopes up that this doctor would be the one to help me but no. But enough of the depressing ****, had a killer workout today. Endurance for days.
Same.
If I go to any Banner-related doctor, which is mainly all my insurance accepts, it’s not even a topic having had a alcohol detox ER visit in 2013. Meanwhile they’ll give benzos to the people that’ll sell them cause us recovering addicts are still just junkies to them.
 

Brienn8989

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Same.
If I go to any Banner-related doctor, which is mainly all my insurance accepts, it’s not even a topic having had a alcohol detox ER visit in 2013. Meanwhile they’ll give benzos to the people that’ll sell them cause us recovering addicts are still just junkies to them.
It’s too bad. I hate benzos but it’s the only way I can go places without freaking out, snapping at someone and eventually abruptly leaving. But I’ve been talking with a place in town that specifically only handles mental health issues. Hopefully they can help. But I’m not sure if I even want to bring up my alcoholism. It seems like a life time ago.
 
Matthersby

Matthersby

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It’s too bad. I hate benzos but it’s the only way I can go places without freaking out, snapping at someone and eventually abruptly leaving. But I’ve been talking with a place in town that specifically only handles mental health issues. Hopefully they can help. But I’m not sure if I even want to bring up my alcoholism. It seems like a life time ago.
Shoot me a pm bro.
 
Wobmarvel

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Added in Berberine hcl yesterday. Ate 40 grams of quick carbs and took a Berberine an hour pre workout, the pumps and vascularity was nuts. I could feel my chest filling out with every set. Incline bench pressed 275x3, an all time best for me.
I used to get this too. Apparently its counter productive though.
 
Wobmarvel

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This is mice though. It has positive effects at slowing muscle loss if in a calorie deficit and cutting but I don't think it has any place in bulking. And I'm not sure if preworkout is the best time to take. Even though you feel a better pump on it.
 

Brienn8989

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Everything is going well fellas. Went to a I love the 90’s concert last night with my girl. Much needed night away from the kids! Had a blast and got some road head on the way home on the way out some little dirt ball bumped into me and was talking ****. I just laughed and walked away, reason I share this is because of “roid rage”. I’m normally a very aggressive person but since I started this cycle, I have a sense of calm. Like,I know I could of beat this guy to death with my hands but kept it moving. Haha Never understood why little guys talk **** to me, I’m 6’3” 258 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal.
 

jrock645

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Everything is going well fellas. Went to a I love the 90’s concert last night with my girl. Much needed night away from the kids! Had a blast and got some road head on the way home on the way out some little dirt ball bumped into me and was talking ****. I just laughed and walked away, reason I share this is because of “roid rage”. I’m normally a very aggressive person but since I started this cycle, I have a sense of calm. Like,I know I could of beat this guy to death with my hands but kept it moving. Haha Never understood why little guys talk **** to me, I’m 6’3” 258 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal.
Its usually the little **** stains that think theyre about something
 

Brienn8989

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Started Zoloft Friday. Stuff is making me incredibly tired. Haven’t been to the gym since I started. I’ve been taking ritilan and even that’s not helping. Not sure how much longer I can take this ****.
 

Brienn8989

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One positive about the Zoloft is that I can bang my ol lady all night now haha If it wasn’t for cialis/Test I wouldn’t be able to get hard. God bless it haha
 

Brienn8989

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Holy cow, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier. Took a decent dose of Macuna pruriens with 25mg ephedrine hcl and within 45 minutes I was back to normal. The depression and brain fog disappeared. I got more done in 3 hours today than the previous two days combined.
 
Matthersby

Matthersby

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Holy cow, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier. Took a decent dose of Macuna pruriens with 25mg ephedrine hcl and within 45 minutes I was back to normal. The depression and brain fog disappeared. I got more done in 3 hours today than the previous two days combined.
Dopamine increase is impressive w mucuna.
I can’t go too high with it, since it’ll act like Wellbutrin and give me anxiety.
Stuff dosed well will make you a stallion in bed too. Lot like caber/Prami since it’s legit the herbal form of them.
 

Brienn8989

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Dopamine increase is impressive w mucuna.
I can’t go too high with it, since it’ll act like Wellbutrin and give me anxiety.
Stuff dosed well will make you a stallion in bed too. Lot like caber/Prami since it’s legit the herbal form of them.
My girl is about to be in for a treat later Zoloft has added a ridiculous amount of time to my sex game. I’m talking 20/25 minutes of banging my girl as hard as I can haha I haven’t been able to hit it like that since I stopped drinking. Went from maybe 5 minutes of slow playing it(don’t judge me haha) to this.
 

Brienn8989

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Dopamine increase is impressive w mucuna.
I can’t go too high with it, since it’ll act like Wellbutrin and give me anxiety.
Stuff dosed well will make you a stallion in bed too. Lot like caber/Prami since it’s legit the herbal form of them.
My girl is about to be in for a treat later Zoloft has added a ridiculous amount of time to my sex game. I’m talking 20/25 minutes of banging my girl as hard as I can haha I haven’t been able to hit it like that since I stopped drinking. Went from maybe 5 minutes of slow playing it(don’t judge me haha) to this.
 

jrock645

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Sounds fun!
 

Brienn8989

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The last week has been a shitshow. I forgot how brutal the first few weeks are on SSRIs. Haven’t been to the gym since last Saturday. Haven’t been eating much, sleep quality is terrible. Weighed myself this morning and was down to 246. Down between 8-12 lbs. Good news is I look wayyyy leaner haha I’m getting to the gym today for sure. I just haven’t wanted to do anything, had to take a few vacation days because I was nodding out at work. It’s crazy, I’ve been so tired but I can’t sleep for ****. The l-dopa has been helping, still trying to find the minimum dose that is effective but doesn’t get me fucked up.
 

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