Back From the Brink of Death - BennyMagoo's Log

Sunday 21st April

BW110 flat this morning, skins unchanged from last week. Started logging food again yesterday - 3407cal 189p 439c 98f.

Was hoping to deadlift today but wound up sleeping in and having “cuddles” with my wife. Went to the gym but it was a short fast session almost completed in a circuit:

Judd Lienhard loaded torsion movements 4th plate for 3x10 Invalid Link Removed

Good Morning 80kg 3x20

Seated calf raise 50kg for 16,14,14,12,14

Cable glute kick back 5th plate for 3x16 each side

Banded addiction with closed pause for 14,12,12,10 ea side (seeing some definite gains here!!)

Lying leg curl 57.5:35 drop sets for 10:8, 10:7.5, 10:4.5

Banded abduction (hip circle side steps) 3x12 ea way

Completed in 63min. HR was 110-130 the whole time.
 
Saturday 27th April

Feeling sore and very tired after a physically demanding week at work! Monday I broke my steps record with over 38k steps recorded, and while working on a high rise fire service! Tuesday I clocked over 34k steps finishing the same job. Monday and Tuesday nights I was in considerable pain with aching leg and back and didn’t train.

Wed night at Anytime was my first training sesh:

Incline benchpress worked up to 90kg 5 x 6
Seated side lateral db raise 12.5kg for 9,8,8,7,7.5
Bench supported rear delt fly drop sets 15kg+ 5kg band: 7.5kg+ 5kg band: 5kg band for 8:4:4; 8:4:4; 7:3:3.5
Cable lat pull down ‘40’ for 10,8,8

20min 8km/hr treadmill

Thursday night at Anytine:

BB row 120kg for 5x6
BW pull up 5x8
Bent over rear delt fly 15kg for 10,8,8,7.5
Judd Lienhard loaded torsion movements 4th plate for 3x10 ea side - this movement absolutely tears me up (even after getting nowhere near failure with this weigh) but as the soreness subsides I’m noticing much better posture and passive shoulder mobility. It’s also great for activating QL and I feel like my left QL really needs the exercise!

Friday evening Anytime:

Rope overhead tri extension 4th plate x 10 ea side, 5th plate:4th plate drop sets for 8:6; 8:6; 8:6 ea side
Rev Zottman curl 22.5kg for 6, 5, 6, 5, 5
Cable rope push down drop sets 30:20:12.5 for 10:10:16; 8:10:12; 8:10:12
Strict db curl drop sets with 25kg:17.5kg for 6:4; 5:5; 5:4; 5:3
Bench press 100kg for 12, 15, 10 (got a spot for this one but completely gassed out!)

This morning at FC:

Fighters lunges 3x40
Adductor slides slow as possible 3x8 ea side
Hyperextension super slow eccentric 3x5 (these were epic for glute and hamstring punishment! Contracted to fully arched back then very slowly lowered n each rep, by the fifth rep Ivwas shaking)
Standing abduction machine slow eccentric 130kg for 3x10
Lying hamstring curl drop sets 40:30 for 6:4; 6:4; 5.5:3.5

BW has oscillated wildly this week. I think I was quite inflamed from work and BW shot up to 112kg on Wed morning however it’s all gone this morning with weight back to 110. Avg cal intake last 7days 3040 with 217p, 353c, 80f.
 
BennyMagoo79 said:
Monday I broke my steps record with over 38k steps recorded, and while working on a high rise fire service! Tuesday I clocked over 34k steps finishing the same job. Monday and Tuesday nights I was in considerable pain with aching leg and back and didn’t train.
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wtf that's like 15-20 miles for the average person?
 
Tuesday 30th April

Food yesterday: 2219cal 143p 283c 54f.

Yesterday I fasted until dinner - it was easier than I expected - then pigged out on 2 high protein prepped meals and a large salad with Jasmin rice,teriyaki sauce and Chimi sauce. Still had a decent albeit quick sesh this morning at Anytime:

Seated db OHP worked up to 30kg for 3x5
Chest supported rear delt raise drop sets 15:7.5kg for 8:12, 8:12, 7.5:12
Seated side lateral raise 10kg db for 16, 15, 15.5, 12
Judd Lienhard twisty pulls 4th plate for 16,13,10 ea side - these are really starting have positive effect on my back and posture!

20min treadmill 8.5km/hr - HR barely got to 140!!

Saw 109kg on the scales this morning (recorded 110 tho as I always round to the closest 0.5kg) which was awesome!
 
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Sunday 5th May

It’s been a good week for this cut! After being stuck in the 110s for 2 weeks my body has adapted and the numbers have shifted down into 109s this week. This morning after carb re-load yesterday I was 109.0 so I’m looking forward to another downward shift next week!

Average calories for the last week: 2521 with 179p 289c 72f

Skinfolds today: 14mm ab 8mm thigh 6mm pec.

Starting to see some deltoid striation and separation at the lateral aspect of pecs. Biceps veins also visible on both sides but only when I’m really pushing myself to get a pump.

Pumps are very fleeting, and I feel small and weak and really have to summon my inner rage to get close to my peak numbers in the gym. Also teetering on the edge of hypoglycaemia thanks to the Forxiga (heart med). I’ve been cutting sessions short when vision starts to blur and avoiding urinating while working out (seems to bring it on earlier if I wee). All in all, it’s ve not enjoyed resistance training this week!

Cardio however, has become a pleasure! I’ve levelled up with treadmilll work and today was able to comfortably maintain an 8.5km/hr pace at around 128-132bpm for 20min. Resting HR has shifted down to float between 56-59. Mobility is also improving as I feel more space becoming available in my thoracic cavities. Not much change in BP but I am running ramipril which is an ACE inhibitor that likely keeps it low regardless of body weight fluctuations.

Friday pm work out at FC:

Lightsaber overhead unilateral tri extension drop sets 4th:3rd plate for 8:8, 8:6, 8:7

Rev Zottman curl drop sets 25kg:17.5kg for 5:4, 5:4, 4:3

Cable rope tri push down drop sets 40:20:12.5 for 8:8:10, 7:8:10, 7:7:10

Strict db curl 25kg for 5,5,5,4.5

Benchpress 100kg AMRAP x16reps - this depleted me completely.

20min treadmill 8km/hr.


Sunday am workout FC:

Incline BP 70kg for 8,8,8,8

Side db lateral raise 7.5kg for 15,15,15,14.5

Chest supported posterior delt fly drop sets 15:10kg for 10:8, 10:6, 8:6

30min treadmill, 10min @7km/hr 20min @8.5km/hr
 
Always impressed with your work Benny! Hope things are going well for you now!
 
Sunday 23rd June

Ling time between posts - been busy AF and also have lost the ability to focus eyes on phone lol. Apologies in advance for any autocorrect errors I don’t pick up!

Update: BW today 106.5kg after a heavy refresh yesterday. BW was consistently in 105s last week after 2 weeks in 106s. Skins haven’t changed much - still 12mm over belly on a skinny day - but my body has become ‘skinnier’ and definition and vascularity have significantly improved. I feel lighter, I can run run faster for longer, I ache less and my penis looks bigger at this body weight. I swear women are friendlier, more helpful and flirty too (even my wife!!!) Gym performance is definitely compromised however - I got the ampK blues lol.

My training has consisted of 4 am sessions per week, 3 exercises for 3 working sets dedicated to bis, tris, shoulders and back. Each session I also do 1 or 2 lower body exercises and 1 core exercise at the beginning - rotational movement (my Achilles heel). Sometimes I combine lower body with cardio (kb and skipping) but mostly I end the sesh with a 20min run. All done in 60-90min depending on available time.

My diet: I consume 60g carbs around training then with a protein shake afterwards (mix of casein and whey), eat a high protein prep meal about 11 and dinner by 6.30. On non-training days no carbs so fast til 11. Calories are low - around 2500 mark. Usually re-feed in Saturday afternoon but skipped a couple of these due to working til 6pm.

Going to keep my head down and keep cutting through winter. Goal is to get below 100kg maybe even hit 95 before I hit the mTOR switch again and go beast mode once more.
 
Good to hear from you, sounds like you are making some nice progress.
 
Sunday 30th June

What a c#%t of a month - but I survived. Somebody mistakenly reported my company to a credit watchdog and all of my suppliers suspended my accounts on the 13th . This month has been my biggest revenue-wise and I almost completely exhausted my capital with a week to go and contractual commitments to make. Had to hire a lawyer to resolve the credit alerts and then still had to reapply for all my supplier accounts but one - who believed me and kept my line of credit active. This could have put me in a hole I could not recover from and I was selling stock and tools for cash to buy materials in the last week of June - something I’ve never had to do before.

But I survived. Not only that it led to me strengthening relationships with two of my clients who expressed concern for my business - one even forward paid me for plant items required on a job I’m doing for them. I’ve always been upfront and honest in my business dealings and it is a nice feeling to see that acknowledged and expressed with trust - this is how ai imagine success for my business, that is, clients who I work with rather than work for.

If that one supplier had shut their doors or if one of my clients had been less understanding there is no way I could have avoided bankruptcy. It’s crazy to think that, on one hand how unlucky I am for the mis-reporting on my credit file (it turns out a clerk entered one wrong digit to make this happen), while on the other hand I’m so lucky to have friends and the support I needed to survive. Contracting such a fucking rush.

For weeks I’ve been dealing with this alone. Many mornings I’ve forced myself out of bed to face the day, driven to work not knowing how I’m going to get to the end of the month, cried with frustration at suppliers that put more faith in an anonymous credit agency than my word despite dealing with some of these people for 20years. I’ve had to act like a loving husband and carefree father. All this while clocking a record month for revenue.

But it’s over now - officially last Monday. Accounts are being re-opened, caveats rescinded, I’m back in business and I know who my real friends are.
 
That’s intense! Glad it worked out alright. You should think about developing some kind of way to insulate yourself from something like this should it ever happen again. Life is full of things outside your control, there is always risk in everything to a degree, but I mean it’s a worth while goal to ponder longterm.
 
Wow! So sorry that was put on you. But at least in the end it got sorted. And as you mentioned you know where the strong relationships are and who to count on when the chips are down.
 
Segansational said:
Wow! So sorry that was put on you. But at least in the end it got sorted. And as you mentioned you know where the strong relationships are and who to count on when the chips are down.
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Yeah seriously; shows what a standup guy he is and what his name is worth amongst his clients. If that’s not validating, I don’t know what is!

“All you have is your balls & your word.”
- Jay Z
 
Damn that’s heavy Benny. Everything happens for a reason and maybe this somehow will save you an even more fakked up mess in the future? Absolutely ridiculous though how it went down. I’m glad you are a strong person.
 
Well done Benny, you have gone through a forge and come out stronger on the other end. Sorry you had to go through that but it sounds like you developed a resilience. I also wonder if there is some way to get extra fraud protection on business accounts or something to avoid issue when stuff like this happens. I don;t know like a fraud insurance or something. Wouldn't surprise me if something like that is available for people who own businesses that something like this could pop up and ruin everything.
 
BennyMagoo79 said:
For weeks I’ve been dealing with this alone. Many mornings I’ve forced myself out of bed to face the day, driven to work not knowing how I’m going to get to the end of the month, cried with frustration at suppliers that put more faith in an anonymous credit agency than my word despite dealing with some of these people for 20years. I’ve had to act like a loving husband and carefree father. All this while clocking a record month for revenue.
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Holy **** man, I feel for you. huge kudos for grinding it out brother. I hope you are doing things to help settle/balance the internal stress through all this. You sleeping OK? that's a rough fuckin' month!!!!
 
Gentlemen, thank you for your supportive words! It’s great to have an outlet for things that can’t be shared with the people physically present in my life! Contracting is a tough game but even when times are tough on some level I still love it - it’s a rush.

Just had a cracker gym session. Haven’t benched heavy in months nor squatted (this year even?) and today I got back under the barbell for both. Wanted to test form and strength for benchpress and form and depth for squat:

Skwaats
100kg pauses 5x5 - super happy with mobility and ability to deal with 100kg. Screenshot attached of one of my best reps. The squats felt comfortable and I noticed a lot less hip shifting in the mirror which I think was the reason for the chain of adductor strains.

Benchpress, paused:
100kgx5, 120kgx5, 140kgx5, 100kgx16

Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror re-racking the weights and was a little shocked at my reflection - arms looked sinewy with lots of little muscles popping out but zero size, and my neck and traps had veins I’ve never seen before. Miss those big puffy tricep and titty pumps, but I wouldn’t **** with that sinewy old guy I saw in the mirror.

Since about early May training has focused on arms and shoulders with functional movements for lower body and core. I’ve really been exploring loaded unilateral rotation from toes to hands and found lots of little glitches and imbalances in the way my body articulates. I’m beginning to notice progress in symmetry of movement and finding it easier to move sustainably at work. Bring lighter definitely helps too - but it’s nice to do a big day without struggling to get off the couch at night, ir smash out 20min zone 4 cardio and not seize up the next day.

Moving forward: I want to push for progression in my loaded rotational stuff. Also need to start tracking food snd manipulating macros again. Hopefully now the time is available I can start getting back into logging. Goal is to get down to 100kg but remain strong.
 

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Awesome to hear you got back under the bar and had a good experience. That squat looks great, and damn man that hamstring hang! NICE! I don't think I would &^%$ with that old sinewy guy either!!!
 
Holy sh!t, that’s a legit squat to comp depth - haven’t seen you be able to get there in many moons, brother!

I smiled very big reading you were able to get under the bar again and it went well. Love to hear it.
 
Saturday 6th July

Happy ID holiday to all my US friends.

Food so far this week daily average: 180p 258c 94f

Bodyweight: 104.5kg this morning.

Training yesterday: am mobility with 30min zone 2 cardio (7.7km/hr treadmill). Pm shoulders plus loaded core rotation work.

Today: am arms. Pretty much using 90% weight get for 75% volume compared with the end of my last bulk. Same exercises: rev zott, lightsaber ext, biceps db curls, cable rope tri drop sets but no benchpress AMRAP at the end. O longer chasing pump, trying to hit numbers and enjoying the increased vadcularity (have multiple bicep veins now including one on multiple right hand that wraps around the elbow which I suspect is there from wanking).

Bloodwork back on Thurs: everything in range except for triglycerides (which were so high the doc believes it is a pathology error) and creatinine - although other kidney values in range.

Got a dexa scan done yesterday - was able to get this for free as covered under Medicare for 45yr old post heart failure dudes. 18.6% body fat at 105.7kg, 86kg lean mass 47.7kg skeletal muscle mass 61kg water mass (not sure that all adds up to 105.7 but I guess some water is in muscle and some is excess?). 2.8% of my body mass is visceral fat which is a little high, and my total body water was also high. 6.8% mineral content is high but that’s good and muscle mass also out of range but also good. Definitely will get another one done when I get down below 100kg even if I have to pay for it next time.
 
105lbs of muscle mass for a guy at 230lbs who is not on any gear and post heart failure is friggin’ excellent man! Very impressive results.
 
Holding a ton of mass for your situation, well done Sir!
 
Sunday 7th July

Am: mobility stuff, hangs and travel (where I hang from pull up bars for a bit, then travel one arm across the bars then hang from the other arm only, then reach back up travel back and hang from both arms again before rest then do it again with other side), lunges 3x30, 25m sprint x3 before 30min zone 2 treadmill and 10min zone 2 x trainer.

PM: baseball training with son (teaching him to hit) then 4x 50m (estimate) sprints.

Feel cooked - the explosive stuff really fries me these days.
 
Saturday 27th July

BW105.5kg skins 12mm ab 6mm chest 8mm thigh

Hit the wall last week - tired, sore and incapable of performing - after spending two weeks 104kg and decided to reverse diet to spend some time at maintenance and get healthy again. Had tendinitis in hands and knees, trouble sleeping, and fluid retention issues so was pretty sure cortisol levels were getting out of control. Spent the week eating more food - prep meals from MuscleChef - and this morning felt a lot better after a lovely 9hr sleep last night. Put on 1.5kg but the return of shape to muscles and vascularity improvement leave me confident my macros are on track.

Training has not been great. Haven’t squatted for 2 weeks as my last squat session took all the bounce out of my legs and made my cardio sessions very un-fun. Benchpress has been ok, managed to top-set 140kgx5 last week and hit 130kgx5 this morning after 3 triceps exercises. I’ve spent a lot of time training legs for mobility and end of ROM strength - high box step ups with slow eccentric return, deep side lunges and Cossack squats, straight leg raises, reverse lunges and tons of running. Pull ups, rows, swingers pulls all at sub-maximal effort but shoulders and arms have been with some sets to failure even though weight is down.

Moving forward by operating at maintenance cals with high protein low fat approach for the next 3 or 4 weeks until I’m feeling 100%. Still keen to get to 100kg.
 
Sunday 28th July

BW 106.5kg this morning after a big day of carbs yesterday!

Skwaats:
SSB cossack squat: 40kg for 15 each side x 3 sets. Was feeling tight and sore this morning (for no reason) and wasn’t sure about squatting but after these I started feeling great.
SSB squat 100kgx8; 120kg 3x5
Swingers pull first big plate cable row machine 3x10 ea side
Leg press 180kg 2x20, 18
 
Monday Sep 9

OHP DB press: worked up to 30kg 3x6
Chest supported rear delt fly: 17.5kg for 9,8,8
Side lateral db raise: 12.5kg for 9,8,8,9
Cable lat pull down ‘45’ for 3x8

Treadmill: 30min @8km/hr
 
Tues Sep 10

Db curl 25kg for 6,6,5,4
Overhead unilateral tri extension 5th plate 10,10,8
Rev zott curl 20kg for 8,8,8
Cable rope tri push down drop set 32.5:22.5:22.5 for 10:10:10, 9:8:10, 8:7:10
Preacher curl 15kg db ea side 8,8,6
 
Thurs 12th sep

600mm box step, slow descent 3x10 ea side

Split squat 60kg 2x5 ea side (cooked my r foot)
Good morning 90kgx12; 110kg 3x8
Agility drill 1: side step forward movement right leg: 3x2 laps (20m track)
Agility drill 2: sprinter skips 3x2 laps
Explosive 1: sprint drive 3x 2 laps

Treadmill: 25min 7.3km/hr 130-135 HR
 
Great to see you back on, and still going after it! How is the progress toward the 100kg goal going?
 
Friday 13th Sep:

Swingers pull: worked up to 5th plate 3x10 ea way

strict pull up: BW+10kg

BB row 100kg 3x6, 1x8

Seated unilateral cable cross row ‘45’ 3x10 ea side

overhead lat extension on yoga ball 25kg 3x8
 
MrKleen73 said:
Great to see you back on, and still going after it! How is the progress toward the 100kg goal going?
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I’ve been ‘maintaining’ at 107kg for 5 or 6 weeks until last week my BW spiked to 111kg and I had a bit of ischemia - I think I pushed myself too hard for too long and my heart didn’t like it! So this week focusing on low sodium high protein diet with moderate cardio (I did an 11k run last week which I think was the beginning of my little spiral!) and trying to transition back into cut mode with extended fasting (don’t eat til 11am) . I feel much healthier when empty.

Also have a couple of injuries/sore spots:

1.) hurt my right shoulder 4 wks ago doing dips so no bench or dips and db press only until i can get through my RC rehab with no pain
2.) my left knee and Achilles are both cooked from all the running! Gotta back off cardio anyway: can’t keep my HR stable and it’s higher than it should be also.

100kg still the goal though, just need to shore up my health first!
 
BennyMagoo79 said:
2.) my left knee and Achilles are both cooked from all the running! Gotta back off cardio anyway: can’t keep my HR stable and it’s higher than it should be also.
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I know that feeling! I have used a mix of cardio doing like 10min row, 10min bike, 10min walking on incline etc to save the feet and i think it's helped quite a bit. helps break up the monotony too.
 
Saturday 14th September

Concreted a driveway this morning, solo thanks to a fuckibg useless apprentice. 18k steps in nearly 5hrs, 2 hrs with HR over 110. Came home, ate, did some laundry, watched some weird **** on YouTube with my 10yr old boy and dozed for maybe 45min before hitting the gym:

Swingers pull 5th plate 3x10 ea side

Did dome of these: Invalid Link Removed
Worked up to whole cable stack for the pull movement and found it to be deliciously challenging and highly therapeutic post finishing trowel. 5th plate on the row stack for the ‘push pull’ exercise. Gave me a mighty ab pump.

Bench press: 70kgx5; 110kgx5; 130kgx5; 110kgx5. Zero shoulder pain.

Forearm movement: heavy band through 12kg kb loop-de-looped around end of bb forward wind up back wind up both hands 3 times x 3sets - this movement has been instrumental in re-habbing right shoukder. I was soooo weak with right side in the beginning but last two weeks have found a lot of new strength. Not sure how it works yet but I’ve noticed that I have to overcome a “first thing in the morning weakness” in my right hand every time so I’m guessing this movement helps to switch things on again.

Rev zott curl 20kg x6, 22.5kg x5,5

Rear delt fly, bent over: 15kg x8,10,

Feeling good today, BW back down in 107s.
 
BennyMagoo79 said:
I’ve been ‘maintaining’ at 107kg for 5 or 6 weeks until last week my BW spiked to 111kg and I had a bit of ischemia - I think I pushed myself too hard for too long and my heart didn’t like it! So this week focusing on low sodium high protein diet with moderate cardio (I did an 11k run last week which I think was the beginning of my little spiral!) and trying to transition back into cut mode with extended fasting (don’t eat til 11am) . I feel much healthier when empty.

Also have a couple of injuries/sore spots:

1.) hurt my right shoulder 4 wks ago doing dips so no bench or dips and db press only until i can get through my RC rehab with no pain
2.) my left knee and Achilles are both cooked from all the running! Gotta back off cardio anyway: can’t keep my HR stable and it’s higher than it should be also.

100kg still the goal though, just need to shore up my health first!
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Glad to see you prioritizing health. I know you will get there. Just remember if pushing too hard makes you need to stop and take a break, slow steady and consistent work will get the same results with less issues in about the same time, and allow for more consistency than pushing too far and having to hold back for a bit. You don't have to try to get it all done at once. Keep it up man, your drive is impressive, and I know you will reach your goal.
 
Sunday 15th Sep

OHP DB press: worked up to 32.5kf for 5,6,6,6

Chest supported rear delt fly: 17.5kg for 10,10,10

Side lateral db raise: 12.5kg for 8,8,10,

Cable lat pull down ‘45’ x8, ‘50’ 2x8

Seated delt pull over 2nd plate fo 10,9,8,8

Cardio: skip, step squat circuits x5 with alternating leg box steps, alternating side squat, 120skips
 
at least you're smart enough to do the work that pays before the gym. I have a bad way of hitting the gym first thing sat/sun and then I'm the useless apprentice for my wife the rest of the day trying to muster my way through yard work etc lol
 
Wed Sep 18

Db curl 25kg for 6,6,5,5

Overhead unilateral tri extension 6th plate 8,8,7

Rev zott curl 20kg for 8,8,8

Cable rope tri push down drop set
32.5:22.5:22.5 for 10:10:10, 10:10:10, 8:8:8

Preacher curl ezibar + 35kg for 8,6,6,6

Oof…cooked
 
Thursday 19th September

Swingers pull: worked up to 5th plate 3x10 ea way

strict pull up: BW+10kg 3x5

BB row 110kg 3x6, 1x8

Seated unilateral cable cross row ‘45’ 3x10 ea side

overhead lat extension on bench 25kg 3x10

20min @8km/hr treadmill
 
Saturday 21st Sep

On holiday: camping in Northern New South Wales. Beaches here are serene and the people are graceful.

Beach run: 20min @150-155bpm 2.9km - 3.3km total journey

There is a gym here but I’m happy to run and go for a surf this week.
 
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