anxiety came back

I feel yah bro. The problem I've realized is your never gonna be what you were before the problem surfaced. You just have to accept that and learn to manage it. I go over and over in my head about what I should of done and what I could of done different but it makes no difference. I covered up my anxieties as a teen through alcohol. Then alcohol eventually started making me depressed and gave me more anxiety and insomnia. I never recovered from the effects of alcohol. I wished I would of known what I was doing before I ever picked up a drink. I don't drink anymore and have gone up to 2 years without a sip before. I also tried soooo many supplements to manage the symptoms. Some worked well but Eventually I built tolerance to everything and they had no effect.

I have to ask you, Have you had therapy all this time or just medication? Just talking about it works wonders in managing the anxiety.
 
by the way Brian have you started you SD cycle yet? starting Monday I will do a boladrol pulse for about 3 weeks then pulse on EPI heard succesful results on this..
 
Nope, not yet! Probably gonna push it back til the 10th. I just got back from Vegas with my family. It was pretty unnerving, I must say. My family doesn't understand the whole anxiety thing. They think it's something you can just get over, so every time I started getting uncomfortable, my dad would just say, "look, you can't keep getting upset all the time. You're better than that", which just got me more amped up. All in all though, it was a good vacation. Almost had to fight a homeless man begging for money. He started yelling at my mom cause she wouldn't let my brother give him money, so I got to take out my rage on him, which was VERY nice. Either way, I drank quite a bit, and I took a copious amount of painkillers in a futile attempt to avoid the anxiety, so I'm giving my liver a little bit longer to condition. I also want to go get a physical on the 3rd, since that's when my health care coverage starts. I want to get my liver/kidneys/pancreas/gall bladder/appendix checked out, since I've been having pain in my right side for about 6 months now (side-cramps when taking a deep breath, like you get when you run after a meal). Anywho, good luck on the Boladrol. I'm sure you have, but just in case, make sure to condition your liver for that one, as I've heard Boladrol can be pretty toxic. Sometimes I overlook the liver conditioning until it's time to start the run, and then I have to push back the cycle until I'm ready. Anywho, keep me informed!
--Brian
 
yeh I did the therapy thing before.. worked well, but I moved to a different town so I gota find a new one now.

Keep that on the priority list bro!
 
Brian I know the feeling. me and the wife went to visit my parents in Florida and let me tell you that was not the best vacation. not to mention I was going through a Valium withdrawal because I was si uneducated about the stuff back then. they live close to Disney and I didn't even go on one rollercoaster ride which I use to enjoy. luckily my family from puertorico visit and my cousins got on the rollercoaster rides with the wife.
not to mention I had a job interview the day after we flew in. I was so ****ing nervous that I literraly can feel my neck shaking and I was never a nervous person. did not visit none of my friends cause I was so enbarass and I think they wouldn't have understand and I did nit want to explain it, but I told them on facebook about my condition. I was on no type of meds at all. I couldn't even sit in a restraunt.. so nerve racking.....
I know a place like Vegas can be overwhelming, still would like to visit though....
anyways good luck man we stay in touch and happy new year to everyone...

ps
I'm pulsing and got milk thistle on hand so it shouldn't be to bad. if things start acting funny then I cut it short..
 
That sounds uncomfortable! I will definitely be following along with your cycle. I probably won't do a log of mine (too many critics, not enough help), but I'll keep you informed if you like! Just hit me up whenever.
--Brian
 
Glad Im not the only one out there that has these problems. I always thought these types of things for the weak.... As being someone who rarely cares about anything and always on the agressive side of things, I can definitely say they arent.

Really wish I wouldve known that androgenic compounds increase anxiety issues(for most) because it had been a year since my last panic attack and was completely back to sanity until 8 days after I started androhard. So over it that I forgot what they felt like

even though I was using dermacrine with it, which is supposed to subside the anxiety, it didnt do the trick. 3 workouts in a row after I had beat this thing for a year and hadnt taken meds for 7 months here it is....right in my DAMN FACE again. I too didnt leave the house for 10 weeks because of dizziness and the fear of moving objects, or being extremely over-aware of everything I guess.

The biggest problem for me is that it didnt happen from a happening at the battle field, it first showed its ugly face at the gym when i almost passed out on the treadmill in the middle of a cycle. thought I was having a stroke, or heat strok, or something close to it. Got paranoid and 23 doctor appointments and every test imaginable later, me and everyone else thinks im crazy. I had a year off in the gym and for the fact that it started there originally has been 100 times harder to stay in there. I was doing fine til the andro. I respond better than almost anyone when it comes to supplements which means of course the sides too. I gained 10 lbs in a week and a half on this stuff. I can gain 30 the first month on cell tech if that gives a better idea.
Good luck to you guys in your cycles and in your fight. I refuse to go through this crap again, it took a year of my life and its not going to do it again
 
30lbs off cell-tech.... find that hard to believe... no offense though.. I can't take that crap. blood pressure through the rough with that stuff...

I had no problems while I was on AAS with my anxiety and I'm taking meds, but now I'm pulsing a PH and my anxiety is constant. the type of anxiety that I'm always alert and not normal feeling, no problems with breathing or heart raising. very psycological though, but I'm use to it because I know I won't die from it.

sounds like you have a mild case of PTSD. The treadmill and almost passing out was your stressor, your traumatic event. Are you going to finish your cycle of androhard?
 
Best of luck to anyone trying to find help at the VA! Those doctors aint worth 2 ****s! I have every sign of ptsd BUT anger issues, and they say I just have those individual problems. They said "well you just have anxiety, depression, panic attacks and so forth. I had to go to my primary doctor to get the right treatment. Ever since I got back from Iraq 6 yrs ago, I have had the worst view of the government. It all started when I had to pay for my gear that was destroyed by an IED...damn supply sargent didnt write it off as combat loss, so I had to pay 7 hundred and sum odd dollars before I could clear CIF. Tell me that aint some ****.
 
sometimes you lie a little bit to get diagnosed, even if you already have it.. I feel you on that, I been fighting with VA since I got out in 2004.. Finally got my mental exam soon. I heard good things about the VA contractor in Germany. She cares..
just keep fighting brother... supply sergeants are sorry anyways.. what was your mos?
 
Hey hey hey! What's goin on guys! Boricua, I see you started your Boladrol pulse! How's that goin? I started my Superdrone/Dermacrine yesterday. I'm low dosing the SD though (5mg) to see if it does anything for me. I've heard some great things about low doses (little/no sides, great gains), just not EXPLOSIVE like higher doses. But I figure if 5mg works for me, there should be about 6 cycles worth per bottle (I have 2), so I would be able to sell off everything else I've got! Anywho, fill me in on your cycle, especially estro sides.

And drinkyboy, I COMPLETELY understand your plight! I was a crew chief in the Air Force, and sometimes we had to pay for boots because they said we were "abusing" them, which we weren't. The catcher was, we HAD to have new boots, or else it's safety hazard! Either way, if anger issues are the only thing you're lacking, time to start punching babies man (NOT LITERALLY)! LOL! Like boricua said, you know what you've got. You just need one other person to believe you. Make that happen. I'm still waiting to see my new civilian doctor to try to diagnose me so that I can do the VA disability thing. Unfortunately, due to the new health care thing, no doctors under my insurance plan are accepting new patients in my city. Kinda frustrating. Anywho, take it easy guys!
--Brian
 
you know how it is.. living with the anxiety, but keep fighting it.. nothing to it...
man I got VA appointments out the ass.. heard nothing but good things about this doc. a Vietnam vet I know got his rating increase because of her... excited about it!!
boladrol is alright... can't say anything special since I'm only pulsing 2 mg.. natty test booster on off days.. will increase my dose next week...
doing DC training and I like it alot, really works my muscles..only been at it for 2 days, but I'm looking thicker already, must be my taco bell diet hahahah..
anyways follow my log...
can't wait for your results..

might get some M1T in the future
 
I scrapped the VA and never went back to them. I was a cook by MOS. Im big into culinary ****...helps alot with makeing healthy food tast good. When I was deployed with 2ID to Ar Ramadi, I volunteered to gun for the Colonel which was a blast! I gunned the 50 cal. MK19, M249. MK19 was my baby! The feeling of dumpin that thing into a house is unreal! The 50 also had me rideing with balls! Felt a little naked with the SAW for obvious reasons. We had folks that never left the fob and got diagnosed because they had anger issues or were depressed when we got back state side. I dont really care anymore...I got the help I needed, but was just disappointed that the VA wouldnt give me a hand, hence forth my sour taste towards the gov and how they treat vets.
 
Hay guys just thought id fill ya in on what has been helping me alot the last few weeks. As i mentioned earlier im not on any medications and dont want to go on any. As i explained i find there just another way of avoiding the situation and not facing it head on!

So i had been listening to some CBT audios when going to bed. Until i found the Linden method and its unreal in just 2weeks i feel like im slowly overcoming some of these anxious feelings. So basically if anyone has anxiety problems i urge you to take a look at this program. I will admit it costs a bit of money, but ill be honest and downloaded the package as a torrent!

Anyway guys just thought id let yas know. Always good to know of other options out there!
 
Thats great to hear Newtonselite! Im glad you have found a safe option that works for you! Keep us posted on your progress!
 
Hay guys just thought id fill ya in on what has been helping me alot the last few weeks. As i mentioned earlier im not on any medications and dont want to go on any. As i explained i find there just another way of avoiding the situation and not facing it head on!

So i had been listening to some CBT audios when going to bed. Until i found the Linden method and its unreal in just 2weeks i feel like im slowly overcoming some of these anxious feelings. So basically if anyone has anxiety problems i urge you to take a look at this program. I will admit it costs a bit of money, but ill be honest and downloaded the package as a torrent!

Anyway guys just thought id let yas know. Always good to know of other options out there!

what torrent site? I love downloading torrents..
that good news!!
 
I scrapped the VA and never went back to them. I was a cook by MOS. Im big into culinary ****...helps alot with makeing healthy food tast good. When I was deployed with 2ID to Ar Ramadi, I volunteered to gun for the Colonel which was a blast! I gunned the 50 cal. MK19, M249. MK19 was my baby! The feeling of dumpin that thing into a house is unreal! The 50 also had me rideing with balls! Felt a little naked with the SAW for obvious reasons. We had folks that never left the fob and got diagnosed because they had anger issues or were depressed when we got back state side. I dont really care anymore...I got the help I needed, but was just disappointed that the VA wouldnt give me a hand, hence forth my sour taste towards the gov and how they treat vets.

ah ramadi.. my old FOB. so you are familiar with heifi streets.. that neighborhood will make everyone get PTSD... I was there an 03-04...
got out right after Iraq and I was an e6 a 23 year old e6 I might add... I was sick of it. we lost 2 before we got extended and then another 8 after extension..
****ed up part is we were an artillery battalion, doing more patrol than infantry and tankers in 1AD, they were to busy living it up in the palaces in green zone. ****ers!!!!
 
Damn, that sucks! I always went to Al-Udeid. Looking back, it wasn't too bad out there (although it absolutely SUCKED when I was there :D) The worst part about deploying to Al Udeid is that you get all the ****ty commanders/officers that needed bullet points for their EPRs to make rank, but wanted to be safe. So you ended up with a paper-pusher from Scott AFB in charge of the entire aircraft maintenance squadron (for the first time in his career). That deployment went very badly! He actually ended up going home early, with a dishonorable discharge (Crew Chiefs have a tendency to fight back against authority :D) Anywho, good morning to everybody, and to everybody working out this morning, hopefully you all feel as motivated as I do!
--Brian
 
Right on Bo. Combat Outpost was something else. Yea we lost 16 men and too many casualties while there. I hatted being on litter detail, which was what I did when I wasnt running the streets. I hate seeing our people all f**ked up like that...it was no fun. We would run missions out by Fallujah also, so it was nice to have a change in scenery. Yea but Ar Ramadi sucked to say the least. Once I ETS'd my unit went right back to COP...I feel for them.
 
I was in 1/503inf. with 2nd BCT and were attached to 2nd Marine Division. Also the 1st Marine Division for the first few months now that I think about it.
 
what torrent site? I love downloading torrents..
that good news!!

No worries mate hope you might be able to get something out of it!

Linden Method -Invalid Link Removed


I found a few anxiety things on here i downloaded also!
Hypnosis Super Pack - Invalid Link Removed
 
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