ALCOHOLISM

thebigt

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I thought it would be nice to share stories so here Is a bit about me...


my name is tom, and I am a alcoholic...

I was raised in Indianapolis and everyone there who knew me knew I was a bad alcoholic, I quit drinking 22 years ago and everyone who had known me when I was drinking was in disbelief that I was able to quit drinking-it truly was nothing short of a miracle.

around 10 years ago my wife and I moved to a small city of 64,000 where no one knew me or my past with drinking. when I met people they would offer me a drink, when I told them I don't drink I am a alcoholic they looked at me in disbelief and told me you don't look like a alcoholic, lol...that is the greatest compliment you could say to me.

I welcome everyone to share their story, kinda like having our own AA meeting here since stay at home is in effect.
 
HIT4ME

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Hey guys, not an alcoholic - as a matter of fact at 40 years old I would be surprised if I have has more than 20 drinks in my entire lifetime. I just never got into it.

But when people offer me drinks and I turn them down - the tone changes. I can tell that they think I am strange or that I MUST be an alcoholic. Some people have actually outright asked.

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have been there and made it back and then have people pushing me like that.

We all make mistakes and some are hard to come back from. I have a ton of respect for anyone who has made it back and taken control. It is badazz.
 
thebigt

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Hey guys, not an alcoholic - as a matter of fact at 40 years old I would be surprised if I have has more than 20 drinks in my entire lifetime. I just never got into it.

But when people offer me drinks and I turn them down - the tone changes. I can tell that they think I am strange or that I MUST be an alcoholic. Some people have actually outright asked.

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have been there and made it back and then have people pushing me like that.

We all make mistakes and some are hard to come back from. I have a ton of respect for anyone who has made it back and taken control. It is badazz.
lol...like i said when we moved here I had been sober for over 10 years, because they had never seen me drunk some refuse to believe I am a alcoholic...it's tempting to tell stories of my drinking days, but I just say thanks!!!
 

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I'm not an alcoholic, I'm extra careful about drinking because it does seem to run in my family; seeing what it does to a person and how hard it is on them and their family, I have tons of respect for people who get out from under addiction or even just keep trying to. Gotta support a person trying to better themselves. 🤙
 
Ptlhains

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Mini story: I am 52 yrs, was always a weekend warrior type, but also never had that ease and comfort that others seem to have. At 46yrs, I got in a major accident and stopped working and got on lots of (prescribed) opiates. The opiates were great until they had no effect (buzz) so I kept getting the DR to up the dose until I was no longer getting high, but taking a ton of them and needing them to just not go into withdrawl. So to get higher, I went back and added alcohol and not long after lots and lots lots of cocaine (freebasing). After about 8 months of this, I absolutely had to get off the opiates in order to stop everything else. I was able to get into a hospital program to do so and got introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous. I have never looked back. Its the program for living that I needed all my life. I have been sober about 4 years and now have the sense of ease and comfort that I never had for all those years.
 
HIT4ME

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Mini story: I am 52 yrs, was always a weekend warrior type, but also never had that ease and comfort that others seem to have. At 46yrs, I got in a major accident and stopped working and got on lots of (prescribed) opiates. The opiates were great until they had no effect (buzz) so I kept getting the DR to up the dose until I was no longer getting high, but taking a ton of them and needing them to just not go into withdrawl. So to get higher, I went back and added alcohol and not long after lots and lots lots of cocaine (freebasing). After about 8 months of this, I absolutely had to get off the opiates in order to stop everything else. I was able to get into a hospital program to do so and got introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous. I have never looked back. Its the program for living that I needed all my life. I have been sober about 4 years and now have the sense of ease and comfort that I never had for all those years.
Wow. Incredible.
 
thebigt

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Mini story: I am 52 yrs, was always a weekend warrior type, but also never had that ease and comfort that others seem to have. At 46yrs, I got in a major accident and stopped working and got on lots of (prescribed) opiates. The opiates were great until they had no effect (buzz) so I kept getting the DR to up the dose until I was no longer getting high, but taking a ton of them and needing them to just not go into withdrawl. So to get higher, I went back and added alcohol and not long after lots and lots lots of cocaine (freebasing). After about 8 months of this, I absolutely had to get off the opiates in order to stop everything else. I was able to get into a hospital program to do so and got introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous. I have never looked back. Its the program for living that I needed all my life. I have been sober about 4 years and now have the sense of ease and comfort that I never had for all those years.
good on you, brother...God bless

thank you for sharing!!!
 
Beau

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Although I am not an alcoholic, I know the perils of using alcohol to self medicate. I have done so periodically (in the distant past), but each time confided in a friend to make sure I had someone who I trusted (and who loved me enough) to help me stay accountable.

The first time was after my Father suddenly died. My Mother was distraught and needed support, and my ex-wife (the narcissist she was (and still is)), routinely ripped my ass because I was dividing time between my Mom and my then-wife and kids. My ex was in completion for everything, she had an endless need to be first and foremost (if not "everything). My solution was two or three inches of bourbon prior to bed. That ran about three weeks. Then I decided to stop.

The second time was when I found out that my ex-wife was having an affair with the husband of her best friend, a guy who was part of my coaching staff on a baseball team and state champion soccer team. I was brokenhearted, any and I drank like a fish for probably two months. Each time, I would wake up the next day feeling like crap, and with my issues still in full force. I stopped, after I decided that I was trying to run from a reality I could never allude, and I needed to deal with reality. Counseling and male friendship helped me get to the place alcohol never would.

As a post script, she did it again several years later. I filed for divorce and dumped her. It cost me a crap ton of money, and it was worth every penny. A few years later, I married again - this time - to a terrific lady. We've now been married 10+ years.

I have only seen the ex-wife two times in the last 7 or 8 years, once at my son's wedding (where my wife and i were honored guests and my ex-wise was not) and again recently at my son and his wife's baby shower. Th ex-wife has ballooned (and looks like she could tow a fifth wheel trailer with her large behind). It also seems as if she has suffered a harsh menopause. But, it took no time at all for her narcissism to raise its ugly head).

So, the only thing worse that being drunk/hungover, was having to put up with my ex-wife during our marriage. I am glad I did not drink more, I might have had to endure that garbage longer than I did.
 
thebigt

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Although I am not an alcoholic, I know the perils of using alcohol to self medicate. I have done so periodically (in the distant past), but each time confided in a friend to make sure I had someone who I trusted (and who loved me enough) to help me stay accountable.

The first time was after my Father suddenly died. My Mother was distraught and needed support, and my ex-wife (the narcissist she was (and still is)), routinely ripped my ass because I was dividing time between my Mom and my then-wife and kids. My ex was in completion for everything, she had an endless need to be first and foremost (if not "everything). My solution was two or three inches of bourbon prior to bed. That ran about three weeks. Then I decided to stop.

The second time was when I found out that my ex-wife was having an affair with the husband of her best friend, a guy who was part of my coaching staff on a baseball team and state champion soccer team. I was brokenhearted, any and I drank like a fish for probably two months. Each time, I would wake up the next day feeling like crap, and with my issues still in full force. I stopped, after I decided that I was trying to run from a reality I could never allude, and I needed to deal with reality. Counseling and male friendship helped me get to the place alcohol never would.

As a post script, she did it again several years later. I filed for divorce and dumped her. It cost me a crap ton of money, and it was worth every penny. A few years later, I married again - this time - to a terrific lady. We've now been married 10+ years.

I have only seen the ex-wife two times in the last 7 or 8 years, once at my son's wedding (where my wife and i were honored guests and my ex-wise was not) and again recently at my son and his wife's baby shower. Th ex-wife has ballooned (and looks like she could tow a fifth wheel trailer with her large behind). It also seems as if she has suffered a harsh menopause. But, it took no time at all for her narcissism to raise its ugly head).

So, the only thing worse that being drunk/hungover, was having to put up with my ex-wife during our marriage. I am glad I did not drink more, I might have had to endure that garbage longer than I did.
surprised you didn't become a full blown alcoholic!!!!
 
Beau

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surprised you didn't become a full blown alcoholic!!!!
Honestly, I feared that. One of my brothers was a nightmare when he drank and my Mom thought that when she drank it somehow gave her free reign to say whatever she wanted to - however brutal. So I learned what it could do, and what I might be capable of. Although mine was situational, that doesn't mean I think it was OK, it wasn't.
 
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Smont

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When I decided to take a month off drinking last year I was going through a liter of Tito's a day plus a sleeve of fireball nips. No exaggeration at all. No1 thought I would make it 30 days as I regularly would go 2 or 3 weeks drinking like that and then when I woul calm down I'd still drink about 1/3 that much every couple days. Once I made it 30 days I set a date that I would drink on the 4th of July, I didn't. Then I said I was going to drink at a concert in September, I gave the tickets away so I wouldn't be tempted. One night in November while I was bartending at my uncle's restruant I made a martini special up and the first customer said it was off. So somewhat stupidly I took a straw and finger caped it to pull a few drops out to taste it. They were right it was a shitty drink lol, but guess what, it didn't bother me in the slightest. I made them a new drink and went about my business. I would have thought that would make me crack and I was fine. I realized then that I really don't need to drink and it's not a problem any more. March 9th was 1 year and still going. Now don't get me wrong, Im not stupid enough to tell myself 1 drink is ok because I know it would eventually put me back where I was. But I'm over it.

In the past year I have got almost back in shape visually to my best, set PRs in strength. I've paid off thousands in debt, my credit score went up over 100 points and I took my kids to Disney.

1 year sober fixed almost 10 years of debt and 5 years of slacking in the gym.
 
thebigt

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When I decided to take a month off drinking last year I was going through a liter of Tito's a day plus a sleeve of fireball nips. No exaggeration at all. No1 thought I would make it 30 days as I regularly would go 2 or 3 weeks drinking like that and then when I woul calm down I'd still drink about 1/3 that much every couple days. Once I made it 30 days I set a date that I would drink on the 4th of July, I didn't. Then I said I was going to drink at a concert in September, I gave the tickets away so I wouldn't be tempted. One night in November while I was bartending at my uncle's restruant I made a martini special up and the first customer said it was off. So somewhat stupidly I took a straw and finger caped it to pull a few drops out to taste it. They were right it was a shitty drink lol, but guess what, it didn't bother me in the slightest. I made them a new drink and went about my business. I would have thought that would make me crack and I was fine. I realized then that I really don't need to drink and it's not a problem any more. March 9th was 1 year and still going. Now don't get me wrong, Im not stupid enough to tell myself 1 drink is ok because I know it would eventually put me back where I was. But I'm over it.

In the past year I have got almost back in shape visually to my best, set PRs in strength. I've paid off thousands in debt, my credit score went up over 100 points and I took my kids to Disney.

1 year sober fixed almost 10 years of debt and 5 years of slacking in the gym.
awesome...one day at a time really is more than just a witty slogan.
 
Rocket3015

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I'm 62 years old and have never drank alcohol, I am always amazed at people who offer you a drink and when you turn them down say "What Wrong With You" and I replay I don't drink again "What Wrong With You". I'm just glad I never found a need to fit in. I could ramble on about my hate of alcohol but I will spare you all......This will explain some of it

A.jpg
 
thebigt

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I'm 62 years old and have never drank alcohol, I am always amazed at people who offer you a drink and when you turn them down say "What Wrong With You" and I replay I don't drink again "What Wrong With You". I'm just glad I never found a need to fit in. I could ramble on about my hate of alcohol but I will spare you all......This will explain some of it

View attachment 192920
I started drinking at 13, I wish I had a dime for every dumb mistake I made as a teen, a whole lot of dimes, lol.

that is not to say I haven't made plenty of mistakes and numbskull decisions as a adult...just sayin
 
Rocket3015

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Glad you are sober now @thebigt
 
thebigt

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Glad you are sober now @thebigt
thank you...

22 years, brother...and still living one day at a time!!! but for the grace of God there go i.
 
Ptlhains

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Yep, Alcohol and drugs will kill many many more 1000's of people than this entirely overblown virus. And during this time, many more 1000's will invite more and more alcohol and drugs into their life...resulting in more suffering for themselves and the people in their lives.
 
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thebigt

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Yep, Alcohol and drugs will kill many many more 1000's of people than this entirely overblown virus. And during this time, many more 1000's will invite more and more alcohol and drugs into their life...resulting in more suffering for themselves and the people in their lives.
alcoholism is an addiction, but you still have a choice...unfortunately, this virus is not giving some people a choice.
 
Ptlhains

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alcoholism is an addiction, but you still have a choice...unfortunately, this virus is not giving some people a choice.
Its so easy for the weekend to never end - especially if things look bleak. I pray for them. Although we are doing video AA meetings, it's difficult to help and get to newcomers / folks that are suffering. And sponsership is just null right now...
 
Beau

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I started drinking at 13, I wish I had a dime for every dumb mistake I made as a teen, a whole lot of dimes, lol.

that is not to say I haven't made plenty of mistakes and numbskull decisions as a adult...just sayin
I have told my sons many times, you will never look back on your life and think "If only I had been drunk more times", but you very well may say "I regret having been drunk that night". Usually that is because you have done or said something you regret and wish you could take back, but can't.
 
thebigt

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I have told my sons many times, you will never look back on your life and think "If only I had been drunk more times", but you very well may say "I regret having been drunk that night". Usually that is because you have done or said something you regret and wish you could take back, but can't.
or have other people tell you the dumbass things you did...and not remember!!!
at the end of my drinking career blackouts were very common...when told of the mean and bad things I had done I was ashamed...so I drank some more.
 
2manyprojects

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5 years ago my dad died from lack of drinking. Before you start on my here is the story. His dad died when he was eleven. His mom died in 1976. He treated my moms parents like his own. And was never a big drinker. Sure my brothers and I would see him with a beer now and again but not often. But then my moms dad died. Drinking a little more. Then moms mom. Drinking more. My aunt his sister drinking more. His best friend. Now heavy drinking all day every day. Not an angry drunk though. Well he got pneumonia and stopped drinking for 3 days. Doctors stated his body went into shock and cardiac arrest. He died on my oldest brothers birthday 5 years ago June.
 
thebigt

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5 years ago my dad died from lack of drinking. Before you start on my here is the story. His dad died when he was eleven. His mom died in 1976. He treated my moms parents like his own. And was never a big drinker. Sure my brothers and I would see him with a beer now and again but not often. But then my moms dad died. Drinking a little more. Then moms mom. Drinking more. My aunt his sister drinking more. His best friend. Now heavy drinking all day every day. Not an angry drunk though. Well he got pneumonia and stopped drinking for 3 days. Doctors stated his body went into shock and cardiac arrest. He died on my oldest brothers birthday 5 years ago June.
GOD BLESS
 
2manyprojects

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GOD BLESS
Depression is a mfer. But my dad was very stubborn. And you are not telling him anything. But he was and is a good dad thought me a lot of things. Even in his death.
 
thebigt

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GOD BLESS
Depression is a mfer. But my dad was very stubborn. And you are not telling him anything. But he was and is a good dad thought me a lot of things. Even in his death.

I am glad you shared this...sometimes it's good to vent and get things off your chest...feel free to pm me anytime you want to talk.
 
Smont

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5 years ago my dad died from lack of drinking. Before you start on my here is the story. His dad died when he was eleven. His mom died in 1976. He treated my moms parents like his own. And was never a big drinker. Sure my brothers and I would see him with a beer now and again but not often. But then my moms dad died. Drinking a little more. Then moms mom. Drinking more. My aunt his sister drinking more. His best friend. Now heavy drinking all day every day. Not an angry drunk though. Well he got pneumonia and stopped drinking for 3 days. Doctors stated his body went into shock and cardiac arrest. He died on my oldest brothers birthday 5 years ago June.
Something about that third day. Every time I would try to stop drinking it was day 3 that I would crack because I would start feeling terrible. An older guy I was friends with (rip) he was a bad drunk and would end up in the er on day 3 every time.

Sorry for your loss.

I hope my kids saw enough stupid stuff out of me when I was drinking to make them never want to drink.
 
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Thanks guys. I just remember the good times. It was hardest on my mom. They just missed their 50yr wedding anniversary.
With depression I don’t thing the person realizes what’s happening.
 
Smont

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Thanks guys. I just remember the good times. It was hardest on my mom. They just missed their 50yr wedding anniversary.
With depression I don’t thing the person realizes what’s happening.
almost 50 fucking years! That's amazing. I can't get along with my kids mom for more then 5 days in a row. Hope you did something nice for your mom for the missed anniversary. If you didn't you still could. I'm sure she would love it
 
Ptlhains

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Satan loves to nudge us to drink and drug in these types of hard times. Stay away from that mthrfkr.
 
Rocket3015

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Something about that third day. Every time I would try to stop drinking it was day 3 that I would crack because I would start feeling terrible. An older guy I was friends with (rip) he was a bad drunk and would end up in the er on day 3 every time.

Sorry for your loss.

I hope my kids saw enough stupid stuff out of me when I was drinking to make them never want to drink.
I do not drink and never have, I was raised by a single Mom and never new my Dad. I don't remember how old I was when my Mother said to me "I am only going to ask one thing out of you in life, Never Start Drinking" I never ask why, I don't know why but I'm 62 years old, and Mom passed 10 years ago, and I never drank.
 
thebigt

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I do not drink and never have, I was raised by a single Mom and never new my Dad. I don't remember how old I was when my Mother said to me "I am only going to ask one thing out of you in life, Never Start Drinking" I never ask why, I don't know why but I'm 62 years old, and Mom passed 10 years ago, and I never drank.
we have something in common...my dad was killed in a train wreck when I was 8 months old and my mom never remarried.
 
Rocket3015

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we have something in common...my dad was killed in a train wreck when I was 8 months old and my mom never remarried.
My Dad was just I dead beat left my Mom with 4 kids, no job and she didn't even have a drivers licence, so I never had the heart break of losing him, so on that note I am soory for your loss! On a positive note, my Mom is my hero, she got a job, learned to drive and over came ever obstacle in her life, we had food clothes and love! Life is Good!
 
thebigt

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My Dad was just I dead beat left my Mom with 4 kids, no job and she didn't even have a drivers licence, so I never had the heart break of losing him, so on that note I am soory for your loss! On a positive note, my Mom is my hero, she got a job, learned to drive and over came ever obstacle in her life, we had food clothes and love! Life is Good!
yup...my mom is my hero also. it really tears me up that mom is in assisted living in Indianapolis and I can't visit with her-but I make sure to call her minimum of 3 times a week.
 
Mathb33

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A year and a half sober here. Was always a big drinker since 18 but really went down at 23. I think from 23 to 28 I probably skipped 10-15 days a year total. One morning I knew I was starting TRT, was going to cycle and be serious about it and doing that plus alcohol was surely going to kill me even faster than alcohol already was. I don’t know what happend but I woke up the morning of my first trt injection and never had a drink since. No help no AA, just a goal and a new "pleasure in life". From that day I never ever felt like drinking... I’m still learning to accept the past, the shame, and the mistakes that the word "alcohol" is bringing.
 
Rocket3015

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@Mathb33 - Congratulation !!! Keep up the good fight !!
 
keith8nm

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Sometimes you have to consume some alcohol (even talking about health issues), I think. For me, it's red wine..
 
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justhere4comm

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Sometimes you have to consume some alcohol (even talking about health issues), I think. For me, it's red wine
Edit: I think we can cook with red wine and get the benefits without the alcohol. (Someone correct me here, If i am wrong.)

I get it, some say the little bit of alcohol and antioxidants in Red Wine asisst in helping prevent heart disease. Just look at Italy and France, and you have a country that consumes cheese like we drink Starbucks, and drink wine at dinner. A lot of it is homemade wine. My grandfather used to make grappa and wine (it was more like a sherry really) and I was consuming it at a very young age.

This is a cultural thing and life long from a very young age. It isn't about abusing the substance however, which this discussion is about rather than the former declarative.

There are other ways to prevent heart disease becoming an issue that do not include the consumption of alcohol in any form. This would be more in line with the function of this discussion. So, to answer your assertion, albeit a more lengthy response, no; you do not have to consume any alcohol for benefits, especially if that one drink will lead down a road of further abuse and more detrimental effects that far away supersede any perceived benefit.

Having a better genetic understanding of one's health markers; along with historical familial health issues would go further into what steps to take preventatively.
 
Smont

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Sometimes you have to consume some alcohol (even talking about health issues), I think. For me, it's red wine
I'm pretty sure there is never a time in anyone's life that they have to consume alcohol. And there is not 1 health benifit that alcohol provides that you can get somewhere else. If you "want" to then that's completely fine. But you never "have" to, unless someone kicked your ass and is pouring it down your throat while your unconscious lol
 
Smont

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Edit: I think we can cook with red wine and get the benefits without the alcohol. (Someone correct me here, If i am wrong.)

I get it, some say the little bit of alcohol and antioxidants in Red Wine asisst in helping prevent heart disease. Just look at Italy and France, and you have a country that consumes cheese like we drink Starbucks, and drink wine at dinner. A lot of it is homemade wine. My grandfather used to make grappa and wine (it was more like a sherry really) and I was consuming it at a very young age.

This is a cultural thing and life long from a very young age. It isn't about abusing the substance however, which this discussion is about rather than the former declarative.

There are other ways to prevent heart disease becoming an issue that do not include the consumption of alcohol in any form. This would be more in line with the function of this discussion. So, to answer your assertion, albeit a more lengthy response, no; you do not have to consume any alcohol for benefits, especially if that one drink will lead down a road of further abuse and more detrimental effects that far away supersede any perceived benefit.

Having a better genetic understanding of one's health markers; along with historical familial health issues would go further into what steps to take preventatively.
Red wine is a poor source of antioxidants
 
Smont

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Or actually if I drank, I absolutely would have to do cocaine. And I would have to have a cigarette too
 
justhere4comm

justhere4comm

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Drinking and smoking go so well together... whenever I used to go out with my team for a drink, we'd all light up. I'm glad I quit smoking. That sh!t costs a shi!-ton of money as well is bad for you.

Drinking on occasion, isn't bad. I'd rather have a drink than take a tylenol. Ha.
 
Smont

Smont

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Drinking and smoking go so well together... whenever I used to go out with my team for a drink, we'd all light up. I'm glad I quit smoking. That sh!t costs a shi!-ton of money as well is bad for you.

Drinking on occasion, isn't bad. I'd rather have a drink than take a tylenol. Ha.
Absolutely, I quit drinking but I'm the last person that's going to say anything is bad. If you enjoy something and can do it in moderation go for it, if you enjoy something that you need to do all the time and it starts consuming your life, is probably a bad idea
 
Mathb33

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Absolutely, I quit drinking but I'm the last person that's going to say anything is bad. If you enjoy something and can do it in moderation go for it, if you enjoy something that you need to do all the time and it starts consuming your life, is probably a bad idea
Exactly. Problem is I can’t drink a beer. I’ll drink 16 and have 14 shots with it.
 
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