a meatball

toughchick401

toughchick401

Well-known member
Well now I know my other issue along with a stomach that does not digest food and makes me sick I have a meatball sized tumor at the base of my esophagus...t least now I know I am not crazy all the times I tried to eat and I had to vomit or make myself do the heimlich( very hard to do on one's self) but I am a pro now, and with that I decided this is my way out.....no tx which is not 100%.... so I live with my meatball,,,,,

All my close friends are gone, sick of me being sick, I get it but I tried to keep it to myself, forget dating that's a joke, no one wants a sick chick....I get it I don't want to be the sick chick but here I am.......

Funny growing up I was fat, not heavy but fat, now I am 5'8 101 and I would give anything to be me before, I lost the love of my life who went and married someone else knowing I was in love with him, he felt it to but when he saw I was heavy he bolted, and when I said he was in, 4 doz roses for my birthday, a case of the best tuna, cards ,phone calls till late in the night and bam marries chick with a hooker name because I was not thin enough....and now he says I am to thin....eat crap ......

I cant post on my FB due to family some remaining friends so here is a place no one knows me......I don't expect anything from this, just venting...
 
ughh suxs and sorry to hear .. cant imagine being sick that much
2 days im sick and im like mommyyy help

hugs hang in there like anabolic66 says .. tackle one day at a time .. if people left your life .. good they dont deserve to be called "family or friends"

hurts ive been there . pple running out of your life ... but in the long run youll be better off looking it in future.
 
Thanks guys not sure why my sister felt the need to tell my oldest nephew (24) EMT cardiac, and firefighter , super proud and super close he came to my door yesterday all 6'5 and threw himself in my arms crying, please don't die I need you here, get it fixed, he did the same thing when my dad passed my dad, myself and Tyler ( my nephew) were all very close I would sleep over my parents house on Friday night , watch movies with him and when he went to bed on the air mattress I would always say, "no matter how big or how far you go you will always be my baby" and yesterday he looked at me with tears streaming down his face, "I can't lose you, fight, your all I have left of (DA) what he called my dad.....I am so mad at my sister, she had no right so I spent 30 mins calming him down and he is even insisting on going with me to my next DR appointment, which I cant have ...... he is to emotional...when my dad died he ran into my arms and said "now what do we do our best friend died" and he was right, he was glued to me, we spent every day/night together so I could help him and when he finally went home I fell apart, my best friend in the world was gone, than my mom 3 month later, he did the same thing, clung to slept at the house in there bed, we both had nothing left but one night he turned to me and said ( now he was 12) "please don't ever leave me I would never get over it" he made me promise so I did.....BUT I am tired, so I am letting nature take its course, I want to tell him as I would talk to an adult but I know deep down he is the 12 year old wanting me to promise things I cant.....

My sister hates me which is why she did this, I wont listen to her but I will him and she knows this....evil I say.....
 
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