My Road To Being Me Again
- Thread starter SoMdHunter
- Start date
SufferingEd
Member
SoMDhunter,
Hello, I just got done reading this whole thing. Took me almost an hour. Glad I do not have much work to do today, otherwise I would be way behind. Reading you post gave me a little hope and insite. I am 37, so I am probably close to the age all your problems started at. I am currently on Testim 10g a day and have been for 6mos. When I first started my T was at 411, no erections, no sex drive, low energy, fat gain ect. I am now at 528, I get morning erections pretty regular but not of great qaulity like a year ago. I still do not have much energy, still have a little depression and anxiety. I think most of my Ed problems are in my head now as I can get an erection by thinking of sex, but fail to perform when times comes. My sex drive is still low. I completely understand what you ment by you think about sex but do you really want it. I am the same way. I think about it all the time but I do not seem to have any drive to do anything about it. My next appt. is with an Endo on May 8th. I faxed them asking for lots of blood work before I come in, so we will see what happens. I am married with three kids and wife is in between jobs so I am also shy on the money end to go see Dr. John. Just thought it might help if you knew another one was in the same boat as you. I wish you luck and will follow your posts. I will let you know how my Endo appt went incase their is any info that may help you. Also I never read anything about your prolactin. I've heard this can kill your drive also. Have you had it checked?
Hello, I just got done reading this whole thing. Took me almost an hour. Glad I do not have much work to do today, otherwise I would be way behind. Reading you post gave me a little hope and insite. I am 37, so I am probably close to the age all your problems started at. I am currently on Testim 10g a day and have been for 6mos. When I first started my T was at 411, no erections, no sex drive, low energy, fat gain ect. I am now at 528, I get morning erections pretty regular but not of great qaulity like a year ago. I still do not have much energy, still have a little depression and anxiety. I think most of my Ed problems are in my head now as I can get an erection by thinking of sex, but fail to perform when times comes. My sex drive is still low. I completely understand what you ment by you think about sex but do you really want it. I am the same way. I think about it all the time but I do not seem to have any drive to do anything about it. My next appt. is with an Endo on May 8th. I faxed them asking for lots of blood work before I come in, so we will see what happens. I am married with three kids and wife is in between jobs so I am also shy on the money end to go see Dr. John. Just thought it might help if you knew another one was in the same boat as you. I wish you luck and will follow your posts. I will let you know how my Endo appt went incase their is any info that may help you. Also I never read anything about your prolactin. I've heard this can kill your drive also. Have you had it checked?
SoMdHunter
Member
SufferingED,
You honor me by having read this whole thing. It does seem we are having the same problems. At least you are getting it done the right way, rather than having to go through what I did.
The short of it is, no....I haven't had my prolactin checked. I see Dr. John early Jun and will do whatever tests he prescribes. I'm not trying to look like a professional bodybuilder, I just want my sex life back. I'm trusting he can help me.
Thanks again for reading all this. Keep me posted on your results. Start a log so I can read along as well.
SMH
SufferingEd
Member
Hunter,
That is a good idea. It does help me to write things down. I will think of a title and start one.
You and your wife must really love each other to go over 8 months with out, and survive 10 years with little sex. That is great. Shows a marriage can survive with out sex. My wife says she understands and is willing to wait. She has a very high sex drive and she always use to joke around with me she could always go get it some where else if I would not give it to her. She was just joking, but still, once this happened it put unhappy thoughts to the brain, like how long is she willing to wait. We have not gone over three weeks yet, but we did go a couple of months twice when two of the kids were born. Lately I have been having really bad anxiety, plus I am actually starting to feel like I did six months aga when all this started. I need to stop pushing myself to have sex, relax and go see Endo on the 8th. You will probably see this again when I start my "log". Good luck and I will keep reading about your road to recovery.
That is a good idea. It does help me to write things down. I will think of a title and start one.
You and your wife must really love each other to go over 8 months with out, and survive 10 years with little sex. That is great. Shows a marriage can survive with out sex. My wife says she understands and is willing to wait. She has a very high sex drive and she always use to joke around with me she could always go get it some where else if I would not give it to her. She was just joking, but still, once this happened it put unhappy thoughts to the brain, like how long is she willing to wait. We have not gone over three weeks yet, but we did go a couple of months twice when two of the kids were born. Lately I have been having really bad anxiety, plus I am actually starting to feel like I did six months aga when all this started. I need to stop pushing myself to have sex, relax and go see Endo on the 8th. You will probably see this again when I start my "log". Good luck and I will keep reading about your road to recovery.
SoMdHunter
Member
Yeah, I have a wonderful wife of 32 years. Since encountering this problem, we have had to, how shall I say, "improvise". There should be no embarrassment between husband and wife, so we used our imagination and have managed to deal with it. What used to be foreplay is now the main act so to speak.
Good luck with the Dr. and I will be sure to follow your log!
Good luck with the Dr. and I will be sure to follow your log!
SufferingEd
Member
32 years is a great accomplishment. Congradulations. I know what you mean by "improvising." I guess we have to make do with what we can and hope we gets this fixed. I keep telling my wife that once I get everything back in working order, she may end up wishing it was not wroking again. Good luck. I'll keep you posted.
SoMdHunter
Member
Well, last 2 sessions with the wife have again been a failure. By far I am expericencing a lack of sensation. I just can't "feel" her anymore. I don't expect any improvement, so I'll stop reporting on it.
However, on a good note, I have had nocturnal erections for the last 2 nights. Now what is up with that??? I'm not complaining mind ya, but all of a sudden they start showing up? I just can't maintain it long enough to have sex. Man this is frustrating!
However, on a good note, I have had nocturnal erections for the last 2 nights. Now what is up with that??? I'm not complaining mind ya, but all of a sudden they start showing up? I just can't maintain it long enough to have sex. Man this is frustrating!
fit4life05
Member
June is when you see Dr J right? Just curious how far you traveling from....
I'm startin on Compound Test Gel 5% as soon as it get here....prolly Monday
I'm startin on Compound Test Gel 5% as soon as it get here....prolly Monday
SufferingEd
Member
This is where I am at. I get the nighttime and morning erections, they are just not very strong and are usually gone pretty quick. Thank God wife is pretty supportive. I tend to let stupid thoughts enter my head about her finding a sex partner but they are just stupid thoughts. She is a big Sex and City fan. She jokes that she could always go buy "the Rabbit." Anyways good luck to you hunter. Hope your appt goes well in June.
SoMdHunter
Member
I'm taking a flight from Baltimore to Detroit, then a connecting flight to Lansing. It is too far to drive and I got the tickets early enough I could afford them.
SoMdHunter
Member
I feel for ya bro. IF she gets a "rabbit", you should join her and make it a lot of fun! Better yet, buy one for her and use it on her! That way she will know you aren't threatened by it.
SoMdHunter
Member
332 is insanely low! I would be finding me a new Dr.
SufferingEd
Member
It will diffenitely be an option if I do not get this fixed soon. Your right though, I would sure have a lot of fun using it even if I could not get something to rise. We will see how supportive she is this week. Our 9th anniversary is Wed. I'm sure she will try to seduce me, I just hope I will be able to accomadate her. I have been more irritable the last two weeks than usual. I am wondering if my E2 is high since my Testim has been increased twice since last labs. Only one week until my appt. If anything at least I will get some labs done to see where I am at.
SoMdHunter
Member
Just hang in there bro. It will get better!
SufferingEd
Member
Yeh, I know it will, just sucks that it takes so long. Oh well. Hope your appt goes well. I will see where I am at on Tuesday. Good luck.
SoMdHunter
Member
Thanks....both of ya. I can hardly wait till I get to see Dr. John! Only got a month to go!
Injections continue, and I'm finding new places to inject. I'm starting to get pretty good at this actually.
Injections continue, and I'm finding new places to inject. I'm starting to get pretty good at this actually.
SoMdHunter
Member
Injection again tonight. A bit painful injecting. But the wife did it for me as we are trying a new spot. Seems my quads are no longer tolerating the injections. Even with a 25g, the pain is just too much.
I'm also tired of feeling like crap, then feeling great for a couple of days after the injection, only to start feeling like crap again. This hormonal rollercoaster is just too much for me. So I'm going to split the dosage in half and go to twice a week injections. ED is still severe and libido is still in the toilet.....so what do I have to loose?
I may reap the wrath of Dr. John when I see him, but I'm willing to take that chance.
I'm also tired of feeling like crap, then feeling great for a couple of days after the injection, only to start feeling like crap again. This hormonal rollercoaster is just too much for me. So I'm going to split the dosage in half and go to twice a week injections. ED is still severe and libido is still in the toilet.....so what do I have to loose?
I may reap the wrath of Dr. John when I see him, but I'm willing to take that chance.
SufferingEd
Member
I know what you mean. Last night I actually felt pretty good. I actually felt like if we tried something I might have some success. We did'nt as she and I were both tired (plus my sex drive just still isn't there) so we went to bed. This morning I wake up with anxiety attacks and a paranoa of not being able to have sex again. I wish I could get back to where I would just enjoy doing things like this--
ose: Good luck. I've heard if your E2 is high and your T is low and the ratio between the two is really low then it can cause anxiety. any truth to this?
SoMdHunter
Member
I'm not sure about anxiety. I would think that that would come from failing so many times, one comes to expect it and not look forward to sex.
I do know I feel a bit of it because I have failed for such a long time, I guess I just expect to fail. I want to succeed, but until I know all my hormones are balanced, I just proceed on.
I never would have thought something that used to be so very natural is now so freaking tough!
On a good note though, I have some good news for Dr John, which I will discuss with him when I see him in early June. I've been experimenting with my dosage and seeing some improvement, but only temporary.
SoMdHunter
Member
Just an update to my log. I must admit I've been "tweaking" around with my dosage and delivery lately. One reason is the current protocal wasn't working and I was tired of feeling like crap. The other was to actually be able to provide Dr John with a bit more info in helping me.
I may be on to something. For the last 3 nights I have woke up with terrific erections. I mean hard, stong firm ones you could hang a towel on!
To make it even better, last night it seemed I kept an erection for most of the night. Unfortunately the wife and I have been just too busy to attempt sex. And the final icing on the cake is........I've not taken any Cialis in the last 5 days!
To say the least, all this has really put me in a great mood. Libido is even higher than it has been in a years.
There may be hope for me yet!
I may be on to something. For the last 3 nights I have woke up with terrific erections. I mean hard, stong firm ones you could hang a towel on!
To make it even better, last night it seemed I kept an erection for most of the night. Unfortunately the wife and I have been just too busy to attempt sex. And the final icing on the cake is........I've not taken any Cialis in the last 5 days!
To say the least, all this has really put me in a great mood. Libido is even higher than it has been in a years.
There may be hope for me yet!
plymouth city
Banned
Another person seeing great success after increasing inject schedule. This happens all of the time.
SufferingEd
Member
I am having the same reactions but it is because of Cialis. After reading this I am going back to researching my insurance to find a doctor who will give me injectables. Good luck wtih Dr. John. I still may end up seeing him. Hopefully sooner than later.
SoMdHunter
Member
I'll keep ya posted bro. Unfortunately the erections seemed to have left me for the time being. I haven't changed a single thing, so it may be that I am just on the edge of being "balanced".
Of interest though, I have also noticed I seem to get nighttime erections after doing legs. It may not mean much, but certainly worth telling Dr John about.
SufferingEd
Member
Good luck. I have been feeling a little better. I can actually tell a difference when I am on Cialis. I am not taking it this week becuase it is that time of the month for my wife. I actually felt better the two weeks I did take it than I do now. I am also taking Vitex to get my prolactin down. After doing some research I am going to take some ZMA at night, which should help with my workouts, sleep, and it should help increase T. I will get my blood work back on the 5th and see where my T levels are at. I may order some DIM just in case my E2 is high. I ahve three kids (toddlers) and the wife just started a job, so finances are tight. I have been feeling better tweaking myself with herb supp. So I will keep trying this for now. I hope all goes well for you when you Dr. John.
JanSz
Well-known member
I take 4-6 pills daily LEF DualAction (product containing DIM) and TMG.
I do not believe it changes E2, but it works nicely adjusting estrogens overall. I have tests to draw this conclusion.
My E2=27 on my oct06 and apr07 tests.
But the other estrogens got much better in line while on DualAction.
I thought of tweaking my E2 and started 0.25mL of Liquidex daily same as 1/4 pill Arimidex. By end of a week I had a problem completing sex. I stopped the liquidex, about week latter I am back to normal. Looks like I am good at my E2-27.
------------------------
I am using Vitex, not sure when my next test is going to happen.
Please post your before and after prolactin levels when you get them.
Overal, must say, I do not feel anything different while on Vitex. I started Vitex with Prolactin=5.9(2.0-18.0), supposedly Dr Shippen likes it at 3.
SufferingEd
Member
My last E2 was 23 so if it is still under 30 I may leave it alone. My last labs were back in Febuary with my E2 at 23 and my prolactin at 15. I went back to Endo a couple weeks ago. They are checking my E2, Free T, and total T. I wanted more tested like prolactin but they refused, hence why I am doing some of this stuff like Vitex on my own. I think it takes a while for the vitex to really kick in. Your are supposed to take two a day for the first six weeks, then down to one a day. I will have a physical in July. My general doctor has no problems running labs for other stuff as long as I ask. So I will check my prolactin at that time.
SoMdHunter
Member
Sounds like both of ya are getting things corrected. I took a Cialis on Monday, and woke up with an erection in the middle of the night, but I still can't finish with the wife. The erections just don't last long enough to orgasm. June 6th can't get here quick enough!
JanSz
Well-known member
Script for prolactin $41.25
Invalid Link Removed
Prolactin
This test is used to assess inappropriate lactation, and is also useful in the detection of prolactin-secreting pituitary tumors. Elevated prolactin is associated with anovulation and amenorrhea. Prolactin can also be elevated in hypothyroidism when TSH is high.
SoMdHunter
Member
Quick up date to my log. I got me some smaller needles for my injections and I must say what a difference! I actually find the 26g 1ml syringe easier to inject with than the 25g 3ml. The plunder seems to glide easier through the syringe.
I also got more blood work done before I go see Dr John. Not all results are in yet, but Estradiol is down from 36 to 27pg/nl, SHBG is 17. Still waiting on TT and FT, but so far the numbers are looking good. The lower E2 explains why I feel better and have an increased libido, although it isn't where it should be. I'm going to keep my current dosing where it is until I get the rest of my lab results in.
I also got more blood work done before I go see Dr John. Not all results are in yet, but Estradiol is down from 36 to 27pg/nl, SHBG is 17. Still waiting on TT and FT, but so far the numbers are looking good. The lower E2 explains why I feel better and have an increased libido, although it isn't where it should be. I'm going to keep my current dosing where it is until I get the rest of my lab results in.
JanSz
Well-known member
I am preparing for possible swich from Tcream to shots.
In my discussions with KSman I found that he uses 29ga 1/2cc syringes. It takes him about 5 min to get the T in.
1/2cc syringes have smaller piston, more suction.
Possibly happy medium is at 28ga, still thinner than Phil (27ga)is using.
Also from Vforcer2 I got that subQ shots around navel (same as for HCG) work wery well for him. Also subQ shots give still more stable T levels as there is no wash out thru flow of body fluids. He needs smaller T dose to get his T levels
==============================================
So the way I am thinking now, if I switch, it will most likely be
shots of (T and HCG) every other day.
28ga 1/2cc for T and same or smaller for HCG
===============================================
I am doing every other day HCG now, so I will add T shot on that day and have the other day free of shots creams etc, vacation.
BD Microfine IV U-100 Insulin Syringe 28 Gauge 1/2cc 1/2inch Needle 100/ box Price: $24.99
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BD Ultrafine U-100 Insulin Syringe 30 Gauge 1/2cc 1/2Inch 100/Box Price: $23.50
Invalid Link Removed
Invalid Link Removed
plymouth city
Banned
All sounds great JansZ, Im sure the EOD breaks will be nice.
Im sure you plan on sticking with Pregnenolone cream(bummer you can't resveratrol in it). Do you plan on going with an EOD schedule with this as well to coincide with shots, and just doubling dose? :stick:
SoMdHunter
Member
Yeah, I have some 27g as well, but wanted to see how the 26g would work out. Was a piece of cake. And with the smaller plunger and syringe, I seem to be able to inject faster than I can with the 25g 3ml. It is certainly easier.
SoMdHunter
Member
Well, I'm now at a total loss. T levels came back sky high! Free and Total are both off the charts, so now I'll see what Dr John can do for me. ED still persists, but not at bad, and I'm "better" in the morning than afternoon or evenings. I've also not noticed any difference in the gym, which I thought to be strange. Looks like I may be a "problem patient" for Dr John. I sure as hell hope not though!
JanSz
Well-known member
Post your test results.
The board's wisdom says that you should be high on estrogens specially on E2 when you have ED problems but your test is from somewhat low to high range.
SufferingEd
Member
Don't feel so bad Hunter. I had a great weekend a couple weeks ago and thought I was finally feeling better. Then the last couple of days the anxiety has been back and my brain has been back to its will I ever have sex again paranoia. I'm starting to think I got more going on in my head than physical. I may end up needing to see a psychologist. So just remember to keep your head up and hope for the best. I'm sure Dr. John can get you straightend out.
Has anyone been to a pyshcologists? I have never been a big fan of them. I know its in my head, I just can't get my head to understand it, if that makes since. I am wondering if seeing on would help or not.
plymouth city
Banned
I get ridiculous amounts of anxiety from time to time, all because of E2.
dcguy4u
New member
I have done two sessions with a therapist when my endo told me it's all in my head. He sent me to a therapist. I did two sessions with him paid 600 USD. I have not done anthing more mindless in my life. What a waste ?? I dont like them and i dont think they help.
SufferingEd
Member
I've read before that Zinc can help keep E2 down. I did not take any the last two days and I had really bad axiety. I took some this morning and the anxeity is doing better.
SufferingEd
Member
Thats pretty much my opinion. I know I can get an erection as long as I take Cialis, hell two weeks ago wife and I had a great weekend. First time since all this started I was able to have sex three time in one weekend. So I know as long as I am on Cialis everything will work, its just getting my brain to understand that is killing me. So if I know what the problem is what the hell is a pysch going to do for me. The last two days I've had that oh my god will I ever be able to have sex again paranoia. I don't know where that is coming from.:wtf: I agree that it may have to do with my E2 levels. I will find out where those are on Tuesday.
SoMdHunter
Member
You really want to see these results? Here ya go.
Estradiol was at 26pg/ml, down from 37 (0-52)
SHBG 17nmol/L (15-49)
Free Test % was 2.98 (.9 - 2.50)
Free Test 416pg/ml (35-155)
Total Test 1397ng/ml (241-827)
Total Test 1184ng/ml (250-1100)
I'm not sure why to 2 different Total Test measurements at 2 different ranges.
I changed my injections from once a week to twice a week. My previous total test was only 487 and free was 17, which was barely a change from my initial visit. I'm also taking some Arimidex due to nipple issues. If nothing else, I got my test levels to change and I now have two data points for Dr John when I see him next week. And yet, ED still persists. This is really beginning to piss me off.
What amazes me most is with test levels this high, I'm not seeing any difference in the gym either. Other than the high readings, I've noticed no ill effects, only positive effects such as feeling much better, libido is up, but not like it should be, and increased energy level. Looks like Dr John is going to earn his fee with me!
fit4life05
Member
I prolly missed this but is hows ur DHT, prolactin, and progesterone?
kincaiddave
Member
SMD,
Forgive me for being lazy and not looking back through all the posts to maybe getting this answer. When you went from every week to twice per week injections, what was the dose in both of these cases?
On the needle size test cyp injections - I have switched from the 27g x 1/2" to 28g x 1/2" and am happy with the change. It wasn't a planned move - they were out of 27g when I ordered last.
For HCG injections in my belly, I am using 31g x 5/16". These injections are nearly always painless.
I agree with you on the estradiol. I don't think that you are that far out of line, but with an SHBG level that low, you would probably be better off if you got the estradiol down a little more.
Good luck on your appointment next week!
Forgive me for being lazy and not looking back through all the posts to maybe getting this answer. When you went from every week to twice per week injections, what was the dose in both of these cases?
On the needle size test cyp injections - I have switched from the 27g x 1/2" to 28g x 1/2" and am happy with the change. It wasn't a planned move - they were out of 27g when I ordered last.
For HCG injections in my belly, I am using 31g x 5/16". These injections are nearly always painless.
I agree with you on the estradiol. I don't think that you are that far out of line, but with an SHBG level that low, you would probably be better off if you got the estradiol down a little more.
Good luck on your appointment next week!
SufferingEd
Member
I agree with Fit4life, I am wondering where your prolactin is. That can also have an effect on ED. I read once on another board that your Total T to E2 should be 30X. So if your E2 is 26 then that would mean your Total T should be 780. If these two are too far out of wack with each other then that can cause your problems. I am new to all this so I could be wrong. I'm sure Jansz or others would know more. Good luck.
SoMdHunter
Member
Last time I had DHT checked it was mid-range, but I don't have the info in front of me. I've never had my prolactin or progesterone checked, so I'm seriously hoping that is the problem. Actually I'm counting on this being my problem cause I have no idea what else it could be.
SoMdHunter
Member
Dave, I kept the dosage the same. Stupid thing to do maybe, but I saw absolutely no change in my numbers at 100mgs per week......well, from 460 to 487 Total Test and 12 - 17 Free. But my nipples stayed erect and tender at 100mgs, so to get that under control I got me some Arimidex, which has helped greatly.
I need to lower the Test now as these numbers are entirely too high. However, at this dosage I finally respond to some degree with Cialis. Good thing I see Dr John next week.
I'm doing just fine with the 25g needles, but have also tried some 26 and 27's. Both of those are totally painless, so I'm good to go.
SoMdHunter
Member
Thanks man. I've been dealing with this for years now and I really need to get this fixed. The wife is a wonderfully understanding woman, but I can see her disappointment in her eyes.