Farts

How many times a day do you cut the cheese?

  • 0-10

    Votes: 41 24.3%

  • 11-20

    Votes: 50 29.6%

  • 21-30

    Votes: 36 21.3%

  • 31-40

    Votes: 8 4.7%

  • 40+

    Votes: 21 12.4%

  • On command

    Votes: 13 7.7%
  • Total voters
    169
using whey isolate instead of whey concentrate can help, so can digestive enzymes. These two cut my gas down by about half but my roomates are still threatening to give me the boot
 
I didn't, but some days I really feel that way. Especially after egg albumen - That's the absolute worst on my farts. My girlfriend knows which ones are going to smell the worst by the way they sound coming out.
 
theshocker21 said:
My girlfriend knows which ones are going to smell the worst by the way they sound coming out.
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That, my friend, is a sign of true love.
 
dont ever fart burp and sneeze at the same time youll blow your ass_hole out
and you will be left bowlegged and boweless:rofl:
 
If I dont like someone at the gym I just walk by their machine and give them a whiff of my A88. Makes them clear out pretty quick.
 
theshocker21 said:
If I dont like someone at the gym I just walk by their machine and give them a whiff of my A88. Makes them clear out pretty quick.
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That, my friend, is another sign of true love.
 
theshocker21 said:
If I dont like someone at the gym I just walk by their machine and give them a whiff of my A88. Makes them clear out pretty quick.
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LoL, Man you have got to post your secret, I've been trying to find a way to not wait for benches etc. That's perfect!
 
I honestly take Beano every 12 hours or so. 8am and 8pm.

During my last cycle when I was basically eating constantly throughout the day, I was disgusting. My girlfriend dropped by my place about 30 mins after I had last farted and she refused to come inside because it smelled so bad.
 
dwass said:
I honestly take Beano every 12 hours or so. 8am and 8pm.

During my last cycle when I was basically eating constantly throughout the day, I was disgusting. My girlfriend dropped by my place about 30 mins after I had last farted and she refused to come inside because it smelled so bad.
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:run: :run: :run:
 
brandozzz said:
dont ever fart burp and sneeze at the same time youll blow your ass_hole out
and you will be left bowlegged and boweless:rofl:
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:icon_lol:

I've had THE WORST gas today. People wouldn't walk into my office at work. Thank God I now have my own office.

:run:

My house smells like sh*t. Good thing I live alone.
 
jmh80 said:
:icon_lol: My house smells like sh*t. Good thing I live alone.
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I know this was posted a few months ago..... But I don't care who you are, that there is funny! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :toofunny: :toofunny:
 
I have been eating a lot of egg whites lately and I think my dog fainted earlier...either that or he has narcolepsy.
 
My farts have been rancid this last week. I've upped my consumption of egg whites to 1c everyday, and I smell every ounce of 'em.

My wife is starting to hate me. Seriously. :duel:
 
i eat boiled eggs throughout the day i walk around cropdusting the building. and there is nothing as rancid as egg gas i have found the fly bye the best approach so you dont fall victim to your own stank
 
The question would be better phrased as "how often are you not farting"
1-2 min per day
2-10
10-1hour
lol:icon_lol:

I actually literally farted 4 times in the 10 seconds it took me to type this...
 
Gas has been reduced quite a bit...and there is no longer ANY smell to them.
 
brass monkey said:
i eat boiled eggs throughout the day i walk around cropdusting the building. and there is nothing as rancid as egg gas i have found the fly bye the best approach so you dont fall victim to your own stank
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Yup. And if my shirt isn't tucked in, I tend to grab the back of it and sorta fan the gas out. Discretely, of course. I swear the **** is oily and sticks to everything.

I left the house last night to go to the grocery store. When I came back, the whole house smelled like one big fart. Literally. I had to chuckle like a proud little kid. The wife doesn't think it's so funny.

:head:
 
edit: ^^^^^^^AHHHHHHHH, today must be "post under dlew308 day" for me or something...weeeird. ^^^^^^^

All the damn time! But as soon as I get to bed it goes up to about 1 every 30 seconds....\
 
brandozzz said:
dont ever fart burp and sneeze at the same time youll blow your ass_hole out
and you will be left bowlegged and boweless:rofl:
Click to expand...

Holy ****, I was just reading this topic, and then I burped and farted simultaneously. That was bizarre, man. That was Twilight Zone worthy.

Anyway, it's heartening to know that I don't have a problem, because it's more of a question of when I'm -not- passing gas around here, like most of you folks. Luckily I can do it quietly and quickly, with stealthy precision, in public, so no one ever figured me out. :icon_lol:

:gas:

Oh hey, wouldn't you know. I just did it again. :head:
 
i think my dog is broken, he clears the house and all he does is walk around ripping fat ones, screw blaming it on the dog, my wife blames it on me when people are over!
 
i had a fart discussion with some guys from work a few days ago. part of my job requires me to wear a freezer suit and a facemask. the pants are like overalls and anytime i let one rip in there it has nowhere to go but up and underneath the neck of my facemask where the only airholes for it to escape are the breathe holes in front of my mouth. i voted 11-20, trying to cut down though. lol.
 
There was a children's book I once read, "The Gas We Pass" that said it was healthy to fart 5x per day.
 
I was taking a serious dump in the gym bathroom and some guy came in and said, "Jesus, what's this freakin' smell in here?!"

I wanted to roll on the floor laughing so bad.
 
Mega NRG Man said:
I was taking a serious dump in the gym bathroom and some guy came in and said, "Jesus, what's this freakin' smell in here?!"

I wanted to roll on the floor laughing so bad.
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That was YOU?
 
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