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☣☣ ALPHA GAINZ NON SPONSORED HEAVY HITTAZ LOG ☣☣

matt8483 said:
Love the vid!
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Dorian Yates hit a soft note with me . 2 years back I went on a crazy Rampage of Cycles probably went through 40 to 50 milliliters of test . 200 orals.

I'm just coming off and 8 months PCT popped back in just like a polar bear jumping in the Arctic Ocean I love it I'll never put the **** down. This is what I'm here for. I don't believe in saying living the dream. I'd rather say dreaming of life .

It's great to have you guys around each and everyone of you has your own level of development it's an inspiration having people around that bring you up is important when you participate in a sport like this. My father used to always say you surround yourself with what you're going to be. He definitely had that one right.
 
bighulksmash said:
Thanks man ! I been going hard ! On 30 day suspension no pay do I'll be all over the site. Im doin a cross between superdrol and phera . Pretty cool.
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I hear ya.. might as well turn the negative into a positive. That's what I would do with some time off. 30 day suspension just screams gains!
 
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Well I know I have a long way to go to get back to where I was I had 20 inch biceps I miss those days I know in my heart by the time I reach the end of the cycle I will be way better than I ever was in my entire life. Trying to tap into my retirement but the bank is giving me a big steaming hot pile of **** if you ever look at the Santander Bank icon it does look like a big hot steaming pile of **** you don't believe me Google Santander Bank.
 
bighulksmash said:
Dorian Yates hit a soft note with me . 2 years back I went on a crazy Rampage of Cycles probably went through 40 to 50 milliliters of test . 200 orals.

I'm just coming off and 8 months PCT popped back in just like a polar bear jumping in the Arctic Ocean I love it I'll never put the **** down. This is what I'm here for. I don't believe in saying living the dream. I'd rather say dreaming of life .

It's great to have you guys around each and everyone of you has your own level of development it's an inspiration having people around that bring you up is important when you participate in a sport like this. My father used to always say you surround yourself with what you're going to be. He definitely had that one right.
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Dam I'm crying. I think I need to check my estrogen level.
 
SFreed said:
Good deal. Tactical beard's coming in good
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I absolutely love that look in people in my neighborhood especially the veterans they see that look in my eyes when you love to kill you love to kill it's not something you can hide easily people who share that feeling can easily spot that in you. I'm very proud of my genetics I love who I am I love where I'm from most of all I love all my friends you guys make the **** possible for me. Not only am I here to help you but you guys are here to help me and that's just awesome.
 
bighulksmash said:
Dorian Yates hit a soft note with me . 2 years back I went on a crazy Rampage of Cycles probably went through 40 to 50 milliliters of test . 200 orals.

I'm just coming off and 8 months PCT popped back in just like a polar bear jumping in the Arctic Ocean I love it I'll never put the **** down. This is what I'm here for. I don't believe in saying living the dream. I'd rather say dreaming of life .

It's great to have you guys around each and everyone of you has your own level of development it's an inspiration having people around that bring you up is important when you participate in a sport like this. My father used to always say you surround yourself with what you're going to be. He definitely had that one right.
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H*LL yeah!! Right on bro!! I couldn't have worded it better.

Too bad you're not local, We could kill some S*it together. lol I love your attitude!

Btw That vid really hit my soul!! ?
 
bighulksmash said:
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Well I know I have a long way to go to get back to where I was I had 20 inch biceps I miss those days I know in my heart by the time I reach the end of the cycle I will be way better than I ever was in my entire life. Trying to tap into my retirement but the bank is giving me a big steaming hot pile of **** if you ever look at the Santander Bank icon it does look like a big hot steaming pile of **** you don't believe me Google Santander Bank.
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Awesome! That is some real deal weight smashing music my dude! Love it
 
Studhorse said:
Trust him I saw his pic and his nipples are almost gone!
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Hell yeah I always had a problem running Clomid and exemestane together. I was using RC exemestane with great success the problem I ran into was I was doing one milliliter once a day when in fact you should do .5 milliliters three times a day to keep the levels stable in your blood. You must take this on an empty stomach if you do not it will not work properly. There is no scientific evidence to back up the statement I just made this is from my own personal experience the way I've been doing it for the past few years. Before this I've only used Arimidex it wasn't until a few years ago that I stumbled onto our seas when my connect got popped trying to go into Canada with a bunch of ****. I was forced to find my own way and that's how I found this RC things I was skeptical at first but then after trial and error I found a good connect some of the batches are sketchy some of the batches are great.

I'm coming off the exemestane and I'm seeing better gains because I'm allowing the estrogen to circulate through my blood when I crush the estrogen I do have less of a blowout in my midsection but I do have a hard time putting on solid muscle I figure I will run two weeks without an aromatase inhibitor keeping the 4 andro low the 1 Andro High I should have a very good sex drive and a very good energy level.

I was going to cut this long because I switched over to injectable test but I decided I'm not seeing what I want out of the test not saying it's bunk . Just thinking that I better get all my ducks in a row before I start shooting if you get what I mean there. Fukkers from the Midwest will get it.
 
Studhorse said:
Dam I'm crying. I think I need to check my estrogen level.
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That's the first sign that estrogen level is high. Sometimes two days after I come off the aromatase inhibitor I'll start getting sad feelings or mild depression best way to kill it is to put headphones in your ears and turn the fukking music up so loud that it causes pain in your brain I know it sounds like **** but it's what works for me put on some of that Deathlok or five finger death punch and just blast the ****ing blood right out of your drums. After about 2 minutes of that your blood pressure will shoot up and you won't feel the estrogen bull**** no more give it a shot let me know if it works.
 
matt8483 said:
H*LL yeah!! Right on bro!! I couldn't have worded it better.

Too bad you're not local, We could kill some S*it together. lol I love your attitude!

Btw That vid really hit my soul!! ��
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That video was meant to hit people right in the soul it's a good feeling I constantly post videos in my logs from Jericho DMZ bodybuilding motivation that guy has been my go-to for when I had no one. I always have friends here but some days when I'm on cycle and I'm really ****ed up in the head I put on the headphones and blast out some his ship. If you've ever ran tests at high doses you know that this ship can mess with your head. It does to me especially when I run Tren. My brain realizes that my body is becoming something that it's not. It has a hard time accepting that but my body wants it more than my brain so it becomes a fight with the man in the mirror. I'm going to dig Jericho's archive and I'm going to find the one video that I've been looking for for a while that **** actually made me tear up when I first watched it. The wording in that video was so damn intense it felt like somebody lit a fire under my ass motivation is the key to success I don't believe for a second that if I'm not motivated I won't get up and I won't do that work out. This whole paragraph has been auto corrected by my ****ing phone so if you see words that don't look like they make sense just think Android and Google.
 
matt8483 said:
Awesome! That is some real deal weight smashing music my dude! Love it
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The best part about it is I used to throw a hundred pound dumbbells around just like that like they were twenties people would look at me and they would whisper to each other and point at me I could see them in the mirrors at the gym that's it used to drive me crazy they weren't making fun of me they were idolizing me and I hated it so I started wearing hoodies one time I even wanted to wrap a bandana around my face just so they wouldn't be able to see who I am because then they see me in the supermarket and they point at me just like they pointed at me in the gym it hurts my feelings to be idolized I hate it I know that sounds ****ed up but I am ****ed up. I want to be thought of as normal but when I get big I get big and people see that they look at me like I'm some kind of monster there's a part of me that likes that feeling. What I'm addicted to is the power the feeling that if I want to punch through the door grab somebody by the throat I can do it or if I want to punch through my wall and grab somebody in the hallway by the throat I can do it those are the kind of thoughts I have when I'm carrying that weight or benching that weight or curling that weight I'm getting strong to protect my family not to impress people I want to be strong as possible because I don't know what's going to happen next part of having PTSD is having a obsession about being able to control your fate but in reality you know that you cannot control your fate and that's what drives people with PTSD crazy.

I'm in Massachusetts close to Boston by Spring Time I hope to be traveling going after a new career something that involves actually being happy. I'm tired of hurting people and stomping people's face let somebody else deal with that ****.
 
bighulksmash said:
The best part about it is I used to throw a hundred pound dumbbells around just like that like they were twenties people would look at me and they would whisper to each other and point at me I could see them in the mirrors at the gym that's it used to drive me crazy they weren't making fun of me they were idolizing me and I hated it so I started wearing hoodies one time I even wanted to wrap a bandana around my face just so they wouldn't be able to see who I am because then they see me in the supermarket and they point at me just like they pointed at me in the gym it hurts my feelings to be idolized I hate it I know that sounds ****ed up but I am ****ed up. I want to be thought of as normal but when I get big I get big and people see that they look at me like I'm some kind of monster there's a part of me that likes that feeling. What I'm addicted to is the power the feeling that if I want to punch through the door grab somebody by the throat I can do it or if I want to punch through my wall and grab somebody in the hallway by the throat I can do it those are the kind of thoughts I have when I'm carrying that weight or benching that weight or curling that weight I'm getting strong to protect my family not to impress people I want to be strong as possible because I don't know what's going to happen next part of having PTSD is having a obsession about being able to control your fate but in reality you know that you cannot control your fate and that's what drives people with PTSD crazy.

I'm in Massachusetts close to Boston by Spring Time I hope to be traveling going after a new career something that involves actually being happy. I'm tired of hurting people and stomping people's face let somebody else deal with that ****.
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I hear ya man. You'll get back to 100lb DBs. I swear I go through the same thing at the gym too. Every time I look around, I see people pointing and laughing (not sure if it's my anxiety or not, maybe both). I've been tempted for a while to start wearing a hat and shades to the gym everyday. I don't even look at people in the face anymore at the gym lol (it's been like that for years actually) because I feel people eyes on me. I'm at a gym full of people everyday but yet I'm alone. Just me and my music!
 
matt8483 said:
I hear ya man. You'll get back to 100lb DBs. I swear I go through the same thing at the gym too. Every time I look around, I see people pointing and laughing (not sure if it's my anxiety or not, maybe both). I've been tempted for a while to start wearing a hat and shades to the gym everyday. I don't even look at people in the face anymore at the gym lol (it's been like that for years actually) because I feel people eyes on me. I'm at a gym full of people everyday but yet I'm alone. Just me and my music!
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Then you walk in theres that awkward moment where everyone is trying to guess what your doing first . Put on some Richard Simmons music and start toe tappin :)
 
How do you guys feel about weekly progress pictures being uploaded into this log? I'm noticing great growth as I am training correctly eating correctly and sleeping correctly I'm having a bit of a problem with my personal life but I think I can get past that soon enough I can't let nothing Derail me this time . There are no more excuses I think I'm honestly out of excuses.... I don't care at this point I need to make the sacrifices necessary to get where I need to be.
 
bighulksmash said:
How do you guys feel about weekly progress pictures being uploaded into this log? I'm noticing great growth as I am training correctly eating correctly and sleep incorrect I'm having a bit of a problem with my personal life but I think I can get past that soon enough I can't let nothing Derail me this time . There are no more excuses I think I'm honestly out of excuses.... I don't care at this point I need to make the sacrifices necessary to get where I need to be.
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I think weekly picks should be mandatory! Pic is worth a 1000 words. Well not a thousand of your words brother.
 
bighulksmash said:
How do you guys feel about weekly progress pictures being uploaded into this log? I'm noticing great growth as I am training correctly eating correctly and sleep incorrect I'm having a bit of a problem with my personal life but I think I can get past that soon enough I can't let nothing Derail me this time . There are no more excuses I think I'm honestly out of excuses.... I don't care at this point I need to make the sacrifices necessary to get where I need to be.
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Do it
 
bighulksmash said:
The best part about it is I used to throw a hundred pound dumbbells around just like that like they were twenties people would look at me and they would whisper to each other and point at me I could see them in the mirrors at the gym that's it used to drive me crazy they weren't making fun of me they were idolizing me and I hated it so I started wearing hoodies one time I even wanted to wrap a bandana around my face just so they wouldn't be able to see who I am because then they see me in the supermarket and they point at me just like they pointed at me in the gym it hurts my feelings to be idolized I hate it I know that sounds ****ed up but I am ****ed up. I want to be thought of as normal but when I get big I get big and people see that they look at me like I'm some kind of monster there's a part of me that likes that feeling. What I'm addicted to is the power the feeling that if I want to punch through the door grab somebody by the throat I can do it or if I want to punch through my wall and grab somebody in the hallway by the throat I can do it those are the kind of thoughts I have when I'm carrying that weight or benching that weight or curling that weight I'm getting strong to protect my family not to impress people I want to be strong as possible because I don't know what's going to happen next part of having PTSD is having a obsession about being able to control your fate but in reality you know that you cannot control your fate and that's what drives people with PTSD crazy.

I'm in Massachusetts close to Boston by Spring Time I hope to be traveling going after a new career something that involves actually being happy. I'm tired of hurting people and stomping people's face let somebody else deal with that ****.
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You get to be my age you don't give a **** what someone thinks about you. Unless they want to pay you.
 
I Like The Pic Idea !
 
So I found that one pound of eye of round roast is half my protein content and the third of my calories for the day. Looking into grabbing bulk Seafood.
 
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