Oh sh*t; it's happening again.

EasyEJL said:
no, it isn't. statistics on birth rates would state otherwise. Same with statistics of women graduating college, etc.
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So women's lives are predetermined from birth? Female graduates could not have possibly been bitches/skanks, etc because they are college graduates? Do we meet every possible female that is born in life?

JD
 
Beau said:
My comment was my assessment of the rapidly declining margin of morality between the sexes. IMO, until recently, most women have been far more virtuous than most men. Again, IMO, most men have always taken the "any port in a storm" mentality; now, however, I believe many women have made great strides to catch men in this regard. I think it is sad; for both sexes.
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^^

JD
 
I dont think you should nail her man. If our get caught it wouldn't be worth a guy at your doorstep with a bat. However, I don't think you should sit around and gap because that is an addiction you don't want to get involved in
 
in my day I've tried it a few times with some women at work.worked out pretty well one just wanted a fwb deal and was super cool we still talk today everynow and then this one was actually kinda like what your going through now.I figured she would wanna mess around and was right we started talking and slowly went from there and then did the fwb thing.the other one worked out well for awhile but she ended up being a crazy drunk and had to end it. there have been quite a few other times but those are stories for another day.I would say go for it.your only young once and its going to bug you till you at least give it a try.
 
mich29 said:
in my day I've tried it a few times with some women at work.worked out pretty well one just wanted a fwb deal and was super cool we still talk today everynow and then this one was actually kinda like what your going through now.I figured she would wanna mess around and was right we started talking and slowly went from there and then did the fwb thing.the other one worked out well for awhile but she ended up being a crazy drunk and had to end it. there have been quite a few other times but those are stories for another day.I would say go for it.your only young once and its going to bug you till you at least give it a try.
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Or one day it may bug him because he did...like when he is married and wonders who is going to bang his wife. Or even worse when he actually develops a conscience and recognizes what a POS he is for having done so. Then again some men never develop a conscience or know that their wives are banging others guys.
 
David Dunn said:
Or one day it may bug him because he did...like when he is married and wonders who is going to bang his wife. Or even worse when he actually develops a conscience and recognizes what a POS he is for having done so. Then again some men never develop a conscience or know that their wives are banging others guys.
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I must say you do total justice to the quote in your signature, as I read your posts in this thread!

Big Fan
 
Sounds to me like a **** storm/divorce waiting to happen if you pursue this. And you deserve so much better.
 
Like I said, I've done it before.

Not proud at all, but also I'll never feel bad or guilty, because I simply wasn't the one who cheated.

Don't think I haven't been on the other end. I've been cheated on, and frankly the other guy never entered my mind, as he wasn't the one who violated any trust.

Also, it's not about the sex for me. I really don't care about sex, I just like being close to women I find attractive, and sadly the ones I do are always claimed.

Anyway, I'm trying not to think about this woman at work. I'm not "pursuing" her, and I'm trying to move on.

The only way this would ever materialize is if she came on to me big time, and frankly I don't see that happening.
 
gokix811 said:
And you deserve so much better.
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Does this sound like a guy that really deserves better?

R1187 said:
Like I said, I've done it before.

Not proud at all, but also I'll never feel bad or guilty, because I simply wasn't the one who cheated.

Don't think I haven't been on the other end. I've been cheated on, and frankly the other guy never entered my mind, as he wasn't the one who violated any trust.

Also, it's not about the sex for me. I really don't care about sex, I just like being close to women I find attractive, and sadly the ones I do are always claimed.

Anyway, I'm trying not to think about this woman at work. I'm not "pursuing" her, and I'm trying to move on.

The only way this would ever materialize is if she came on to me big time, and frankly I don't see that happening.
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Seek help. Seriously.
 
David Dunn said:
Or one day it may bug him because he did...like when he is married and wonders who is going to bang his wife. Or even worse when he actually develops a conscience and recognizes what a POS he is for having done so. Then again some men never develop a conscience or know that their wives are banging others guys.
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How is it anyone's fault other than the person who CHEATS?

If there's one thing I can't stand; it's people who like to pass off responsibility.
 
David Dunn said:
Does this sound like a guy that really deserves better?
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Please do not mind my comment, I say it sincerely and as serious as I can.

I think both of them should look for some help, OP might have obssesive behavior and no respect for the marriage institution...but this woman is no worse than he is. I have first hand experience with cheating marriages and honestly this woman should look for some help too...at least OP is not engaged in any commitment with anyone at the moment. True as it is that we men often joke with "conquering" more women and being "playboys", being young is no excuse for this kind of behavior, but a single man is at least not doing wrong to any partner.

Again I am not defending OP or meaning to insult a lady (the married woman) I just think both deserve something better...and that is to find that something to fill the gaps in their psyches so they can stop craving what they can't have. They both deserve therapy, and helping oneself is the best way...and "the better" (if you may) they both deserve.

Just being honest...I am really sorry if I am offending you in any way David, I meant this seriously and a bit more maturely than my usual being.
 
I just think both deserve something better...and that is to find that something to fill the gaps in their psyches so they can stop craving what they can't have.
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Well said.

Yes, the cheater's decision is 100% their own, but the person they cheat with is 50% of that equation. It's called blame-shifting.
 
R1187 said:
How is it anyone's fault other than the person who CHEATS?

If there's one thing I can't stand; it's people who like to pass off responsibility.
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Prior knowledge that the other party is married makes both parties adulterers. The unmarried person is complicit in this, in addition to being an opportunist. The married person didn't cheat alone; they cheated with someone.

The element of prior knowledge also introduces intent. It is somewhat different when the unmarried person did not know the other was married. But by virtue of having prior knowledge, the unmarried person has essentially said "yes, although she is married I will still have sex with her, because her marriage (and therefor marriage in general) is meaningless to me". Her immorality extends only to her decision, while the unmarried person's willingness to commit adultery with her is solely the unmarried person's decision.

So, as to responsibility; she has the sole and exclusive responsibility for being immoral, just as he has the sole and exclusive responsibility for his immorality.

The married person has chosen to violate marriage vows. That is really serious business, and it should be. It isn't a trivial issue. This type of behavior is evidence of a true character flaw.

Marriage vows normally include a covenant to forsake all others. And for believers, those vows are not just some sort of two-party contract, but constitute a three-party covenant between man, wife and God. So, the married person has not only committed treason on his/her spouse, but also violated a promise to God. Scripture is pretty darned clear on adultery and its ramifications, as well as on failing to maintain a covenant to God.

A woman who is willing to chaet on her spouse is not the type of person I would want to trust my wellbeing, sexual health and a possible pregnancy with (of course, should the sexual union result in conception, well then -- I assume the unborn child would be aborted). If a person is willing to cheat on and lie to their spouse (with whom they have a significant relationship investment), they would cut my throat in a hot second.

I’ll pass. And have.
 
Beau said:
Prior knowledge that the other party is married makes both parties adulterers. The unmarried person is complicit in this, in addition to being an opportunist. The married person didn't cheat alone; they cheated with someone.

The element of prior knowledge also introduces intent. It is somewhat different when the unmarried person did not know the other was married. But by virtue of having prior knowledge, the unmarried person has essentially said "yes, although she is married I will still have sex with her, because her marriage (and therefor marriage in general) is meaningless to me". Her immorality extends only to her decision, while the unmarried person's willingness to commit adultery with her is solely the unmarried person's decision.

So, as to responsibility; she has the sole and exclusive responsibility for being immoral, just as he has the sole and exclusive responsibility for his immorality.

The married person has chosen to violate marriage vows. That is really serious business, and it should be. It isn't a trivial issue. This type of behavior is evidence of a true character flaw.

Marriage vows normally include a covenant to forsake all others. And for believers, those vows are not just some sort of two-party contract, but constitute a three-party covenant between man, wife and God. So, the married person has not only committed treason on his/her spouse, but also violated a promise to God. Scripture is pretty darned clear on adultery and its ramifications, as well as on failing to maintain a covenant to God.

A woman who is willing to chaet on her spouse is not the type of person I would want to trust my wellbeing, sexual health and a possible pregnancy with (of course, should the sexual union result in conception, well then -- I assume the unborn child would be aborted). If a person is willing to cheat on and lie to their spouse (with whom they have a significant relationship investment), they would cut my throat in a hot second.

I'll pass. And have.
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Bravo!
Well said!!
And if I may reiterate to the original poster, please seek some help.
Your obsessive nature is going to get you into trouble, and may end up having consequences beyond just yourself.
Peace
 
I think i straddle the fence on this one. My values and beliefs will stop me from ever doing something like this, but to each his own. If thats your choice, so be it. Remember karma, it might not get you instantly like an std, or down the road like your future wife cheats on you . Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So before you make your desicion think about that. What if your future son-in-law cheats on your daughter. what if?
 
benmayro said:
Remember karma, it might not get you instantly like an std, or down the road like your future wife cheats on you . Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So before you make your desicion think about that. What if your future son-in-law cheats on your daughter. what if?
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The responsibility for those actions can only lie with those persons.
 
R1187 said:
The responsibility for those actions can only lie with those persons.
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whatever you have to say to justify it to yourself. Its like a hoarder telling himself that if he buys an item his collection will be complete. Your not trying to convince me its ok, youre trying to convince yourself
 
David Dunn said:
Or one day it may bug him because he did...like when he is married and wonders who is going to bang his wife. Or even worse when he actually develops a conscience and recognizes what a POS he is for having done so. Then again some men never develop a conscience or know that their wives are banging others guys.
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very true on all accounts
 
R1187 said:
How is it anyone's fault other than the person who CHEATS?

If there's one thing I can't stand; it's people who like to pass off responsibility.
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Are you ignorant? You are a party to the act of adultery which makes you an adulterer.

Seriously, are you clueless and absent of rational thought?
 
Celorza said:
Please do not mind my comment, I say it sincerely and as serious as I can.

I think both of them should look for some help, OP might have obssesive behavior and no respect for the marriage institution...but this woman is no worse than he is. I have first hand experience with cheating marriages and honestly this woman should look for some help too...at least OP is not engaged in any commitment with anyone at the moment. True as it is that we men often joke with "conquering" more women and being "playboys", being young is no excuse for this kind of behavior, but a single man is at least not doing wrong to any partner.

Again I am not defending OP or meaning to insult a lady (the married woman) I just think both deserve something better...and that is to find that something to fill the gaps in their psyches so they can stop craving what they can't have. They both deserve therapy, and helping oneself is the best way...and "the better" (if you may) they both deserve.

Just being honest...I am really sorry if I am offending you in any way David, I meant this seriously and a bit more maturely than my usual being.
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I'm not offended by any means. This guys does need some help.

But here is his OP

R1187 said:
When you're single and have no social life, it's so so easy to become obsessed with women at work, even when they're married.

I know I will be labeled a d-bag for this, but I can't help it. I've even slept with a married coworker in the past.

I find in hard to disguish when a woman is being friendly, and when it's something else. This "new" woman has already made some sexual comment; but I don't know how to interpret it because sexual talk is thrown around so casually these days it could mean nothing at all.

I'm not concieted; but I do know I'm a good looking guy, and not just because of my body. This is actually hard at times because I have very poor social skills and don't know how to handle and interpret things.

I just HATE HATE HATE when I fall into these cycles of obsessing over coworkers, because it just occupies too much of my mind.

I'm not sure why I posted this. Guess i'm just looking for thoughts and yes I know I will be considered a d-bag.
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10 to 1 this guys is imagining this whole thing and she has little to no input or influence on his obsessiveness. Boys often fall victim of this and carry it on into adult hood.
 
As i skim through this thread (skim because it 1:30 am and these comments are too fuggin long to read) I can't help but wonder what I would do if I caught my wife gettin railed by another dude...im pretty sure I'd kill her lol... actually I'm mad at her for an affair she hasn't had now. BRB gonna go pick a fight with her to justify it lol
 
Danb2285 said:
As i skim through this thread (skim because it 1:30 am and these comments are too fuggin long to read) I can't help but wonder what I would do if I caught my wife gettin railed by another dude...im pretty sure I'd kill her lol... actually I'm mad at her for an affair she hasn't had now. BRB gonna go pick a fight with her to justify it lol
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Haha!

JD
 
David Dunn said:
Are you ignorant? You are a party to the act of adultery which makes you an adulterer.

Seriously, are you clueless and absent of rational thought?
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A term of basically biblical origin. A theological "crime".

Believe what you wish, but not everyone believes as you do.
 
R1187 said:
A term of basically biblical origin. A theological "crime".

Believe what you wish, but not everyone believes as you do.
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If you were a recovering drug addict/alcoholic, and a "friend" brought drugs/alcohol over to your house and offered it to you and you relapsed, would you think it was only your fault? And that your "friend" had no complicity or responsibility over what happened?

In this as with cheating although primary responsibility is with the addict/married person, the enabler shares some guilt
 
R1187 said:
A term of basically biblical origin. A theological "crime".

Believe what you wish, but not everyone believes as you do.
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It has historical, social and cultural origins as well. The covenant and sanctity of marriage transcends religious values. Believe what you wish and do what you will and reap your reward as you justly deserve.
 
Too the original poster,
This is the last time I'm going to post in this thread. Your actions have consequences beyond just yourself. It sounds like you have some issues that you need to resolve, or else you are going to make decisions, that cause you and others grief,
Wouldn't you rather have healthy relationships,
And live your life without causing yourself or others problems and sorrow.
Rationalizing away responsibility, for participating in an act that causes, problems in at least three peoples lives, is selfish, and narcissistic. Eventually, these antisocial decisions will come back to complicate, and possibly ruin your own life. I am not judging you, just encouraging you to get help, to prevent you from making decisions, that can create problems for you now and in the future.
Good luck
Peace
 
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