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Sex

Pfft, I'll put this topic into motion. I haven't had sex in 8 ****ing months...My pimp game is strong, but my stay at home game is stronger
 
Is it that hard to find a girl equal or better to the wanna-be clen user xigot? :D

ManBeast
 
Not hard at all, but the current state of mind i'm in leaves room for the gym and that's all. I also haven't worked in 8 months lol
 
Gotcha, ain't got time for the hoochies, thank god for porn :D
 
Depression is hard within me. Hmm, I do have a sex story though

FIRST TIME ANAL

Was having a little party at my place in high school when my parents went on vacation. My friend had his girlfriend there and I had another friend, we were just drinking. Hit up this girl that I knew wanted my D, and she came over. Didn't even offer her a drink, just took her to my room to get it in. We start boning down and she turns out to be a kinky chick. Scratching my back, making it bleed, told me to slap her. So I gave her a little slap and she just yelled "harder", so I slapped her harder. Then she slaps me back...."don't slap me"....she slaps me again...."DO NOT SLAP ME"....slaps me again....."ONE MORE ****ING TIME"....slaps me again *I can see now that would be a little confusing*....turns to doggy position and the bitch slaps me again out of no where............................
















I elbow her in the back of the head, she goes limp and I just ram my dick in her ass. She comes to fairly quick, starts to struggle to get me out of her butt. She turns around to her back and I just ram it back into her ass. She starts to enjoy it, while I hold her arms down over her head, but is still kinda fighting. Pretty hawt kinky sex and I jizz in her hair *to be a dick* and just leave the room to go back and chill with my friends. She doesn't say anything, just walks out the front door and leaves.........................................................






A little while later I go into my room with my buddy and there is this little stain on the bed. I thought it was possibly blood. I flip over the blanket and this girl basically took a **** in my bed and rubbed it all together with the blanket. I get a text "hope you like the present *******". I have not talked to her since.........TRUE STORY
 
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to xigotmailx again.

LMAO
 
Haha i'm going to FB her so I can get proofs cause haters and gonna hate without the proof. Gonna also jog my brain some more to remember some other good ones.

Stupid girl that told me she likes football players and wanted to **** cause I was really good..................I was playing MADDEN

Sex at a little league baseball field, one field down from where a game was going on. Got eye raped by the left fielder

PROOFS:
Invalid Link Removed
Invalid Link Removed
Invalid Link Removed
Invalid Link Removed
She's hitting the deep end!
Invalid Link Removed
 
ROFLMAO, I hope her cousins don't know where you live man!
 
I honestly don't know what to think of the story. It's funny but took a turn at the end. I can't believe she dropped a deuce in ur bed!
 
I was having sex with my girlfriend *Clen girl lolz ManBeast knows who I mean* at the time, we had just started going out. We had a night of drinking and I was staying the night at her place. It was pretty late already and figured we'd bone down before going to bed. In the midst of having sex she said that I could cum in her mouth. I was like KEWL. So we are boning and I'm on about the last leg of my SD cycle, so I'm beasting it up in the sack. She was moaning and then suddenly stopped. So I took my stare off of looking at my abs and her coochie getting pounded to see her eyes shut and she begins to snore. I figure what the hell i'll just ram her some good ones and she'll wake up...nope. Meh, I stop controlling myself and just try to force out an ejaculation. I pull out, and gently slide my penis into her mouth and bust my load. She wakes up as if she was being drowned, coughing her lungs up and gets all mad. Now i'm the type of person who enjoys playing dumb and clueless, so I throw "You told me that I could cum in your mouth, I didn't know you passed out on me". After a couple minutes of gagging and drinking some water, she falls right back asleep.

I must say I feel like a champ getting away with that ****. The next day I went to work and just had to tell everyone that would listen. She shows up to work later in the day *we worked and the same bar* and hears the story from one of the other girls working there *I left her name out of it and just said my GF and ignored the "what's her name" questions* and she tries to just laugh it off. Boy did I get an ear lashing later that night.
 
I know a dude who years back was at a party and everyone was crashing out. Apparently he felt a little randy so he started jerking off. He then decided to do something I don't agree with, and he came on the face of a girl he knew (who was asleep) and immediately afterwards pretended to be asleep.. That poor girl went ape **** as no one would fess up to it.. (note I was not at this party)
 
Woooow lmfao **** on ur bed!!
 
WITF
 
I have a story not as crazy but crazy, so I dated this Russian chick for a while just to give u idea of her dad, I'm sure he was with the mob one time me an her went to pick him up from a friend and there was coke and cash all over the place! Anyways so she wanted to have sex in her parens bed.... Yeah I declined knowing I would get whacked if caught and not the good whacked, few min later her dad came home...
 
Jasen said:
I have a story not as crazy but crazy, so I dated this Russian chick for a while just to give u idea of her dad, I'm sure he was with the mob one time me an her went to pick him up from a friend and there was coke and cash all over the place! Anyways so she wanted to have sex in her parens bed.... Yeah I declined knowing I would get whacked if caught and not the good whacked, few min later her dad came home...

Wild shít
 
she turns out to be a kinky chick. Scratching my back, making it bleed ...

Those kinds of girls are priceless. I absolutely LOVE women who bite my pecs until the skin is broken and carve lines in my back. It's my only perv. :D

But on the subject of sex ... just go PAY for it.

Seriously.

When I was 22 I reported aboard my first submarine in Hawaii as a non-qual submariner. I had ONE YEAR to qualify on that submarine or my ass was going to be toast. I spent evenings and weekends on that boat - no time for hunting down chicks but man - I really missed them.

So I went down to a place called the "Pearl City Health Spa" - which back then was in a strip mall on Nimitz Hwy in Pearl City.

Man - what a relief ... After going through a couple of the girls I found a really good looking one that was nice and we got along great. I kept coming back every weekend on Saturday afternoons - spend an hour and half with her - and back to the boat feeling charged up and ready to work more. I could talk to that girl about anything and she would help out with any pervo thing I wanted - even brought in another girl once so I could have two at the same time. Of course, this came with a price tag but I was happy to pay it. :D

She made me a legend one time on the boat. I was in the mall with some of my buddies and I ran into her. She was looking HOT in jeans and a white halter top. I didn't know whether I should acknowledge her or not when I saw her - but she came running up to me and said ... "Honda! I need to talk to you in private!!" So ... she grabbed me by the arm and walked me about 20 yards away - but still within clear view of my buddies.

I asked her ... "What's up" ... and she started playing with my hair and doing girlie things and she said ... "I'm making you a hero to your buddies!"

Man she stood there ... just looking at me with a look that said ... "Please ask me to take my clothes off for you" ... then she told me I could go back to my buddies.

When I got back to them ... they all had boners and looked at me like ... DUUUUUUUUUUDE!!

On Submarines - ANY story travels fast and the next day I was pelted with guys slapping me on the back!

But seriously ... why go around chasing 5's and 6's when you can go out and get yourself a 9 or a 10? Use condoms, of course - but you should use them with the "free" girls too. Fact is, the STD rate among promiscuous women is much higher than it is with prostitutes.
 
Glad to of saved this thread with that weak ass start lol, to OP commit brotha, you gotta commit! As for the Russian Mob dad, way to use your head and stay out the the dudes bed. Dang, I wish I would of saved the girl that **** on the bed story for a while, I don't think anything I've done can really top that. As it is just too epic that I talked to her yesterday and she flipped her ****. Maybe i'll post up some of my epic escapes i've pulled off, before I get to those later i'll leave this one which I think is funny.

It was my first girlfriend and my parents just left to go somewhere, don't remember as to where. At the bright age of 16 we would basically screw around 3-4 times a day. Anyways, we hear the garage opening and freak the hell out. Being a guy, all I had to do was throw my shorts back on and I was good. The door to the garage starts to open. She's frantically searching for her clothes. There's no time left so I spring into action. The only idea that popped into my head was to have her hide. I slide the closet door open slightly and grab her by the arm and throw her in. Apparently the closet door slightly open wasn't enough, as she shoulder checks the door hard. It comes off the hinges and falls right over her, perfectly hiding her slender brown supple body from view. My father comes into my room and picks up the door to fix it, thus seeing my girlfriends nude teen body. SHE FLIPS HER **** AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE BALLS. He left as fast as an older man who just took a straight right to the junk could possibly hobble. As this is all going down, I start laughing my ass off cracking up as my dog is running around the house with her thong in his mouth. To sum up as to what happen, my dad asked if I was using condoms and told me to shut the door and lock it whenever we get down to business.


EDIT: Awesome story about being on the sub. Seems like you actually found a caring pro. I'd be down to go pay for some sex, but being a cheap ass non-working bum, it's kinda hard to when you spend your extra money on food/protein/a cycle here and there lol
 
Yea pretty wild girl in bed.....
 
Alright I was 16 and at my friends house. His parents just left so we were having some girls over. I invited a girl I knew I could smash. So she came over, we played some pong and ****. Anyway it got late and I knew I needed to get down to business. I asked her, "wanna go upstairs?" and she accepted. We searched for a room but little did I know it belonged to my friends 25 year old military brother... So we go in the room and start kissing and **** and I was about to go for the basement and she notifies me she is on her period. Being the 16 horndog I was, I asked "can I **** you in the ass?" To my surprise she accepts the invitation and we start goin' at it.

*Fast forward 45 minutes*

We finish and she leaves. My friend and I go up to the room, to find the most disgusting thing i have ever seen. Apparently through all the ruckus she started bleeding all over my friend's 25 year old brother's white bed. Anyway we get the chlorax and luckily it came out. We laughed it all off and smoked a bowl.
 
^ :rofl:
 
Alright I was 16 and at my friends house. His parents just left so we were having some girls over. I invited a girl I knew I could smash. So she came over, we played some pong and ****. Anyway it got late and I knew I needed to get down to business. I asked her, "wanna go upstairs?" and she accepted. We searched for a room but little did I know it belonged to my friends 25 year old military brother... So we go in the room and start kissing and **** and I was about to go for the basement and she notifies me she is on her period. Being the 16 horndog I was, I asked "can I **** you in the ass?" To my surprise she accepts the invitation and we start goin' at it.

*Fast forward 45 minutes*

We finish and she leaves. My friend and I go up to the room, to find the most disgusting thing i have ever seen. Apparently through all the ruckus she started bleeding all over my friend's 25 year old brother's white bed. Anyway we get the chlorax and luckily it came out. We laughed it all off and smoked a bowl.

Ahahaha, at least she was down for the ass play. I'd prefer a little blood on the sheets than a full on log rubbed in any day though. Ugh, I can just envision this right now, she's a squirter and on the period just made a big ol mess. AHHHHHHahahahahaha
 
xigotmailx said:
Ahahaha, at least she was down for the ass play. I'd prefer a little blood on the sheets than a full on log rubbed in any day though. Ugh, I can just envision this right now, she's a squirter and on the period just made a big ol mess. AHHHHHHahahahahaha

Fuuuarrrkkkk bro settle down haha
 
xigotmailx said:
Haha i'm going to FB her so I can get proofs cause haters and gonna hate without the proof. Gonna also jog my brain some more to remember some other good ones.

Stupid girl that told me she likes football players and wanted to **** cause I was really good..................I was playing MADDEN

Sex at a little league baseball field, one field down from where a game was going on. Got eye raped by the left fielder

PROOFS:

She's hitting the deep end!

Dude u phucked 1 ugly Bítch...

Either way u deserve reps for this 1
 
Dude u phucked 1 ugly Bítch...

Either way u deserve reps for this 1

WOAH WOAH WOAH I've phucked way more than 1 ugly bitch. I'm all about quantity over quality :P
 
xigotmailx said:
WOAH WOAH WOAH I've phucked way more than 1 ugly bitch. I'm all about quantity over quality :P

Ur a cool ma phucka!
 
Eh I'd hit it
 
So far, both of the chicks that ivegotmail has posted pics of, I'd f*ck until they couldn't walk straight... just sayin...

ManBeast
 
Ive ****ed fat, frumpy, ugly , hot , extremely hot, whores, sluts , a dudes wife and another girl in front of the husband , 2 uglies at a time more then twice, 2 hotties at a time more then 4 times , 1 hot 1 not with a party watching , actually alot of exhibitionist action cus I love being the live porn and gettin others to **** in the open as well. **** I've done ALOT this doesn't even scratch the surface. Point I'm making is I'm a horny dude and a freak and as long as the chic had 1 good sexual quality I'd **** her most likely. I think it's funny when dudes brag or say they never bone ugly Chics. They're either extremely lucky, or rich or get no *****. I'm leaning towards the last one there....
......Now that I'm married to a hot freak I don't have to leave the house. We just invite her friends over ;-)
 
Ive ****ed fat, frumpy, ugly , hot , extremely hot, whores, sluts , a dudes wife and another girl in front of the husband , 2 uglies at a time more then twice, 2 hotties at a time more then 4 times , 1 hot 1 not with a party watching , actually alot of exhibitionist action cus I love being the live porn and gettin others to **** in the open as well. **** I've done ALOT this doesn't even scratch the surface. Point I'm making is I'm a horny dude and a freak and as long as the chic had 1 good sexual quality I'd **** her most likely. I think it's funny when dudes brag or say they never bone ugly Chics. They're either extremely lucky, or rich or get no *****. I'm leaning towards the last one there....
......Now that I'm married to a hot freak I don't have to leave the house. We just invite her friends over ;-)

Damn dude, you sound like me! My past couple of exes were bisexual and we were lifestylers (swingers). You name it, we did it. Anytime I've been single, if it had 1 redeeming quality about it at all, I'd hit it. Period.
 
mikeg313 said:
Ive ****ed fat, frumpy, ugly , hot , extremely hot, whores, sluts , a dudes wife and another girl in front of the husband , 2 uglies at a time more then twice, 2 hotties at a time more then 4 times , 1 hot 1 not with a party watching , actually alot of exhibitionist action cus I love being the live porn and gettin others to **** in the open as well. **** I've done ALOT this doesn't even scratch the surface. Point I'm making is I'm a horny dude and a freak and as long as the chic had 1 good sexual quality I'd **** her most likely. I think it's funny when dudes brag or say they never bone ugly Chics. They're either extremely lucky, or rich or get no *****. I'm leaning towards the last one there....
......Now that I'm married to a hot freak I don't have to leave the house. We just invite her friends over ;-)

lmao!!!
 
I'll beat the breaks of a bitch
Having em standing tall like an athlete.
 
AaronJP1 said:
I'll beat the breaks of a bitch
Having em standing tall like an athlete.

I feel its my duty as a man! I want to treat them all like a postage stamp: lick 'em, stick 'em, and send 'em on their way.
 
ManBeast said:
So far, both of the chicks that ivegotmail has posted pics of, I'd f*ck until they couldn't walk straight... just sayin...

ManBeast

You would phuck a skinny ugly bitch that shjts the bed... :squint:
 
ummm, yes, but only in your bed :D
 
BoneDaddy said:
Damn dude, you sound like me! My past couple of exes were bisexual and we were lifestylers (swingers). You name it, we did it. Anytime I've been single, if it had 1 redeeming quality about it at all, I'd hit it. Period.

I like all that but not cool with lettin another dude bang my woman, they can watch, their women can get involved and I'll pound on their OL lady but mine is mine . I'm a selfish dirty bastard ;-)
 
Good stories all! May you all have daughters one day.
 
I like all that but not cool with lettin another dude bang my woman, they can watch, their women can get involved and I'll pound on their OL lady but mine is mine . I'm a selfish dirty bastard ;-)

I'll admit, it takes a special type freak!
 
BoneDaddy said:
I'll admit, it takes a special type freak!

To suck a díck
 
My ex girlfriend won't have sex with me anymore:

Invalid Link Removed
 
Depression is hard within me. Hmm, I do have a sex story though

FIRST TIME ANAL

Was having a little party at my place in high school when my parents went on vacation. My friend had his girlfriend there and I had another friend, we were just drinking. Hit up this girl that I knew wanted my D, and she came over. Didn't even offer her a drink, just took her to my room to get it in. We start boning down and she turns out to be a kinky chick. Scratching my back, making it bleed, told me to slap her. So I gave her a little slap and she just yelled "harder", so I slapped her harder. Then she slaps me back...."don't slap me"....she slaps me again...."DO NOT SLAP ME"....slaps me again....."ONE MORE ****ING TIME"....slaps me again *I can see now that would be a little confusing*....turns to doggy position and the bitch slaps me again out of no where............................
















I elbow her in the back of the head, she goes limp and I just ram my dick in her ass. She comes to fairly quick, starts to struggle to get me out of her butt. She turns around to her back and I just ram it back into her ass. She starts to enjoy it, while I hold her arms down over her head, but is still kinda fighting. Pretty hawt kinky sex and I jizz in her hair *to be a dick* and just leave the room to go back and chill with my friends. She doesn't say anything, just walks out the front door and leaves.........................................................






A little while later I go into my room with my buddy and there is this little stain on the bed. I thought it was possibly blood. I flip over the blanket and this girl basically took a **** in my bed and rubbed it all together with the blanket. I get a text "hope you like the present *******". I have not talked to her since.........TRUE STORY

NO FCKING WAY!!!! That is one crazy bitch hahahaha
 
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