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The Clean Thread

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so two of my m8s were out last night. At the end of the night one is getting into a taxi with his girlfriend and the other walking away heading home. out of no where two guys just jump him and start beating him up..so the other one gets out of the taxi after his gf spots the fight and plasters both of them. owned!
 
Got up at 10am this morning. Went to the pub last night for a few pints with some mates. This place was a little bit of friggin everything in one. There were euros, americans, russians, africans, S.Americans, etc. The place was also full of homos and hookers. I ran into this cat from bama who was only 21 and has lived here for 3 years by himself. Nice bloke, and he provided us all with prips! There were a ton of fairies and hookers up in the place. One of my mates left with some E.European tart. Fukkin cabbie got lost on the way back and we didn't get home till 3am.
 
Werd! I was afraid this cabbie was gonna pull over in an alley and hack us to death. My mate kept making homosexual comments to him the whole time for our benefit. He was like "yeah, you know you wanna **** me! You know you want summa this don't you beautiful!" When the cabbie got lost, my mate started saying **** like "You stupid fukkin moron! I'm gonna kill you!" I was trying to keep quiet so he wouldn't figure out that we were having fun at his expense, but friggin tears were rollin' down my face from laughture. We'd also been doing prips, so it was hard to keep a straight face.
 
Def a side of Chiner I hadn't seen till now. The queens at this pub weren't shy about the pubic displays of affection either. These chinese queens were even sportin' the wife beaters just like back in the states. A few of them even looked like those transtesticles, where you couldn't tell if they were guys or chicks from a distance.
 
roids1 said:
Got up at 10am this morning. Went to the pub last night for a few pints with some mates. This place was a little bit of friggin everything in one. There were euros, americans, russians, africans, S.Americans, etc. The place was also full of homos and hookers. I ran into this cat from bama who was only 21 and has lived here for 3 years by himself. Nice bloke, and he provided us all with prips! There were a ton of fairies and hookers up in the place. One of my mates left with some E.European tart. Fukkin cabbie got lost on the way back and we didn't get home till 3am.
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Sounds like a good time !
 
It was fukkin' wild. Yeah Sane, you'd have loevd this place. There were a few fat chicks there also. You'd have found you one for sure. It looked like there was sum10 for everyone in that place.
 
God darnit! I do like fat chicks, but i like all kinds of women.. I'm for cereal yo, I'll nail anything that walks :) even Yaj24 if he were to hide his package
 
It's all these foreign folks over here. They're all from either Canada or UK. I'm the only yank up in this biatch over here. I'm the only one who's not foreign over here. ;)
 
Whitesnake said:
No shi t......Roids is speaking a new language, lately :dunno:


:wtf1:
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He's speaking the Queen's english - as opposed to the Queer's english (Don't let the wife beater fool you). :D

This thread needs another inappropriate but funny as **** joke;

A paedophile and a little boy are walking through the woods at night... The little boy turns to the paedophile and says, "Gee mister it's really scary out here..."

Paedophile turns around and says, "YOU think it's scary? *I* have to walk back alone!"

:rofl:

If you can't beat it, rep me bitches!
 
Fuk dude! You may be going to hell for that one V. Got anymore?

BTW, chicks dig wifebeater Ts. Especially when you've been working outside all day and start to smell a little ripe. :147:
 
roids1 said:
Fuk dude! You may be going to hell for that one V. Got anymore?

BTW, chicks dig wifebeater Ts. Especially when you've been working outside all day and start to smell a little ripe. :147:
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A wise man told me recently that they're also part of the standard issue kit for the homosexual army. Now who was it...?
 
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Old school comedy. Subbed in South Park as the Gilbert Gottfried version might make people throw up. Google it if you're interested. :D

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Vance said:
A wise man told me recently that they're also part of the standard issue kit for the homosexual army. Now who was it...?
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A wise man once told me they were cool in the gym or around the house, so it's both.

Speaking of homosexuals. I'm chatting up this bloke the other day over a few pints. He's an older cat, late 50s. He tells me he has his stash mailed to him each month from his son in Toronto. So, I'm like "cool, what's he do?" He says "He's in school, working on his masters in Sexual Diversity Studies." So, I'm thinking "yep, he's a packer all right." I asked him if his son's gonna come over here and teach also and he's like "Probably. He likes this town and he's always had a thing for asian guys." Interesting folks around here.
 
I'll tell ya what bared the brunt of that Giants/Saints beatdown....JDub's liver. :drunk:

"Strug-a-ling" today, bigtime...

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Hittin the coffee/water hard. Gotta fake it till 2pm, then go to the DMV, grab my ankles and prepare for the shaft.
 
OK.......nothing special.......My girl I see on the weekends came over on Sat. night as usual......I was outta liquid Vit. C so I told the doc. last Thur.(made an appt. for my shoulder for a cortizsone shot, then changed the subject :saroll:) I needed some xtra sum10 sum10 for my session this past weekend(in so many words) for my girl.......wouldn't give me Cialis for some reason and gave me Levitra.......4 pills for $33.00 :zx11pissed:(Suppose to cut in half).......so I paid for it(along with some Vikes I got :) ).......She comes over, I pop the "L" and we drink and eat..........anyway, I apply heavy lumber all night til she just can't take any more :cheers:


The next day(Sun.) I wake up early and SFW........come back and get ready for Football.......She says she's going to meet her Redhead friend(Dub knows) for Bloody Mary's and will be back in an hour........I say fine and watch my football ...........She texts me and says she'll be back in an hour........they(My chick and Redhead) end up coming back 4 hours later all faded and completely effed up........They go straight to my room and lay down on the bed........I'm watchin the Bears game and walking back to the kitchen and they tell me to get the he ll in there and take my shirt off....so I lay down on the bed and "snuggle with both of them........




My story kinda sux cuz I thought a 3-some was in order:sorry:

My chick is telling Red-head to touch me and what-not.......so she starts touching and both start grabbing "private land" while I'm touching thier "private areas"............It was a big tease, cuz my girl put the kabosh on the 3-some cuz she got jealous and freaked out about Redhead touching my junk.........:zx11pissed:


Sorry to dissapoint with my story :( .........It was fun and close..........I think it can still be done.........just need to convince my girl, cuz Redhead was down..........werkin' on a new plan right now.......



BTW.......P-rips and Merlot in bed almost had it done........need to add sum10 to the mix to complete the goal at hand...:hump:
 
Damn Al, you were so close to getting a Train ran on you lol...

I just cleaned out my closet and found a manikin that looks like Roids in there
 
BestHomeGym said:
Damn Al, you were so close to getting a Train ran on you lol...

I just cleaned out my closet and found a manikin that looks like Roids in there
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Manikin? Or inflatable-womanikin? If it's of the fat chick variety I hope you have a compressor handy.

Not saying that you look like a blow up sex doll Roids... It's just a reasonable statement to say that BHG can play a little loose with his rules of engagement.

:rofl:

This cracked me up today;

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Sh!t Al! Until someone posts a genuine 3some story, that's gonna be among the top CTnstories so far! Like Jake said, if you were that close, the real deal is only a coupla mdma tabs away.
 
Lol, I swear I don't know where that Roids-like Manikin came from. I Swear!

And just to clear everything up, I do actually have a 5 foot tall Blow up sex doll with three large holes... And i also swear on that. I used to dress it up like Santa on Christmas, but blowing her ass up meant i was gonna be light headed for the whole day... I got my nut off in her ass before, its not too bad when you throw in a little vasline for smooth coasting
 
BestHomeGym said:
Lol, I swear I don't know where that Roids-like Manikin came from. I Swear!

And just to clear everything up, I do actually have a 5 foot tall Blow up sex doll with three large holes... And i also swear on that. I used to dress it up like Santa on Christmas, but blowing her ass up meant i was gonna be light headed for the whole day... I got my nut off in her ass before, its not too bad when you throw in a little vasline for smooth coasting
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WTF is wrong with you?:twak:
 
roids1 said:
Sh!t Al! Until someone posts a genuine 3some story, that's gonna be among the top CTnstories so far! Like Jake said, if you were that close, the real deal is only a coupla mdma tabs away.
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Werd! Its got to be on soon. If the redhead is game, then its only a matter of time and rohypnol :cheers:
 
work it Whitesnake! you'll get there!

i got offered a 3some last week, but its not the good kind. My friend nailing his chick while she sucks me off. I guess head is head right? shes 19 too lol.
 
Chub said:
work it Whitesnake! you'll get there!

i got offered a 3some last week, but its not the good kind. My friend nailing his chick while she sucks me off. I guess head is head right? shes 19 too lol.
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The Eiffel Tower, while obviously inferior to FMF, is still worth pursuing for the novelty factor alone. Slam some vodka and some Aspire36 and flex in the mirror as you deliver the c0ckmeat sandwich.

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GICH! :thumbsup:
 
JW32Hoops said:
The Eiffel Tower, while obviously inferior to FMF, is still worth pursuing for the novelty factor alone. Slam some vodka and some Aspire36 and flex in the mirror as you deliver the c0ckmeat sandwich.

GICH! :thumbsup:
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haha classic!

There's also a girl at work who wants straight ATM but i dunno if i could go there again..pretty skanky and she's lost a ton of weight, i'd prob break her this time round :smite:
 
:lmao: Good material lately! Yes, go for the ATM, regardless of the skankyness. It has more to do with novelty than hottness, just being able to say you had ATM.

Also, :werd: on what JDUB sayd. Running a train isn't as good as a FMF, but it still makes for a helluva drunken story down the road.

And BHM, go easy on that manakin. I don't wanna wake up tomorrow with a sore.........
 
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