MAKE US LAUGH... (Round #2)
- 11-12-2008, 05:46 PM
- 11-12-2008, 06:10 PM
Arie Spear's Rap Impersonations
NSCA - CSCS
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,
when behind him he hears:
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
(hopefully you're really ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops!
SFW and GFH
John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse,'
The second barber turned to McCain and said, 'How about you?'
McCain replied, 'Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'
oh boy... somebody isnt reading the rules! Ive seen multiple people posting more than one a day! tisk tisk
I can watch this over and over and laugh harder and harder each time.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQN0qjOrBIQ"]YouTube - funny soccer/football save. BEST EVER ![/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRWt1of1syA"]YouTube - Oh Yeah! The Return of Kool Aid Man[/ame]
a play off of those "don't vote" celeb PSA's..
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXUfEru-tqQ"]YouTube - "Don't" PSA[/ame]
IBE/PHF Boladrol - The Most Potent PH in the World - Available Now!
type "biology for foreign men" into youtube.
(they wont let me post links yet because I am just a stupid noob.)
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlSYovX4oD0"]YouTube - Channel Frederator Presents: WTF!?[/ame]
SFW and GFH
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgopPV3a8wM"]YouTube - Dear John Witherspoon: "Steroids"[/ame]
what women would do if they had a penis for a day
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
Think training's hard,. try losing!
Three missionaries were traveling through the deep jungle of the Congo when they were captured by a tribe of natives, all three were taken and tied to stakes in front of the whole village, where they were confronted by the Chief and what looked like his assistant.
The Chief began a loud and very emotional speech to the tribe while constantly pointing and waving at the three missionaries. The crowd was beginning to get very riled and excited. Finally the Chief turned to the assistant and started speaking to him in a level calm voice.
The assistant, obviously now an interpreter, turned to the three and said in loud clear English, "You have violated our land, an example must be made to prevent your people from returning!"
He walked up to the first Missionary and asked, "Chi-chi or Death?" With these words, the crowd began cheering and chanting.
Not having the faintest clue what "Chi-chi" was, but knowing full well what Death was, he did not hesitate to shout, "Chi-chi!"
The Chief nodded and repeated, "Chi-chi!" The cheering crowd surged forward and grabbed the man and proceeded to beat and rape him. This went on for some time right in front of the Chief and the other two missionaries. Then after the crowd seemed to mellow, the man was stripped and sent naked running into the jungle in the direction of home.
Now, the assistant walked up to the second missionary and asked, "Chi-chi or Death?" Again, the crowd began cheering and chanting.
Now knowing what "Chi-chi" was, but still fearing Death more, he felt he had little choice, "Chi-chi" he whispered, barely audible, defeat in his eyes.
The Chief nodded and repeated, "Chi-chi!" Again in a near mirror performance, the crowd assaulted and abused the missionary for nearly the exact length of time. With the same result, the man running naked towards the jungle and presumably to home and a therapist.
Now, the assistant walked up to the last missionary and asked again, "Chi-chi or Death?" The crowd cheering and chanting yet again.
A complete study of dignity, the last missionary stood as tall as his bonds would allow and announced with total authority, "I choose Death!"
The crowd went silent. The Chief walked solemnly to the last missionary and spoke to him, the assistant then asked the man, "Chief wants to know if this is what you really want?"
At full lung the man roared out, "I choose Death!"
With this the Chief broke into a wide grin, and the crowd went nuts. As the crowd rushed forward, the Chief screamed, "Death by Chi-chi!"
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