How can you train for 'real life' attacks?
Sparring is the best way to train for self defense because you are 'fighting' with an opponent that has intentions of their own. This would be true in striking or grappling.
Using a gun and mace type spray would be very good for self defense, but you may not be able to use these if your opponent is controlling you.
Sparring in most schools, creates a false sense of reality that tend to fail the students. Most MA schools teach self defence techniques that are deadly, but unfortunately, it is deadly to the one using them.
Sparring is good for sport fighting where you are not out to harm each other. There is no ambush. No weapon. No dirty trick. No asphalt pavement to scrap your skin or bang your head on. No other gangbangers to gang up on you. No one pulls a gun, or a knife when you get him pinned on the ground. You don't have to worry about having your eyes jabbed out, your windpipe crashed. You don't worry about having your testicles crashed, your knees broken, or your ear drum punctured. If you miss in your punch, you don't have to worry about your partner stepping in to scratch your eyes out. If you miss in your roundhouse, you don't worry about your partner countering with breaking the knee of your supporting leg. When you close in for a takedown, you don't worry about losing your eyes. And you know for sure that, the most you get to lose is just your ego.
I have heard about stories of grappler letting go the bag guy after the badguy tapped him, only to allow the bag guy to procede to plummet him. I have heard stories of MA expert giving the knife back to the attacker after disarming it from the attacker. Because that is the way he used to practice at his school. I have heard of MA expert got killed because after he stalled the attack, he resorted to the high virtue his master had drilled him. He told the gangbanger that he did not wish to harm the gangbanger. He turned and walked away. The gangbanger was humiliated in front of his homies. Well, he stabbed the guy in the kidney and he bled out before the ambulance arrived. I have heard of a grappler getting stabbed after he pinned a bad guy and the bad guy pulled a pocket knife and knived him. Took him a year to recover. But he lived. I have heard of RMA instructors, experts in weapon disarm, got hacked and shot to death in the back of a desserted stripmall. And the case is still unsolved.
Sparring is good exercise. But not sufficient for real life situation. It is sufficient for not too serious nor vicious confrontation.
How do you train for real life attacks? Hell, that is not something that can be answered in a post. lol
There are principles for defence against, or counter, real life attack. After learning the principles, you learn the particular set of techniques, and then you practice applying the principles and techniques in scenario based drills. There is nothing secretive nor mysterious about the particular techniques. They are just lethal techniques that aim to maim the vulnerable parts of the human anatomy. We are a civilized society. When I first shown the techniques, I felt repulsed by them. lol. Unless you are a natural born psycho, you are not comfortable with spearing eyes out, crashing windpipe, clap puncturing eardrums, breaking elbows, knees, ankles or backbones. But unfortunately, all of these techniques are the only ones that work on just about any kind of bad guys. HAving said that, there are less than lethal techniques you can apply in non life threatening situation.
Obviously there are hardly any commercial school that focus in this area. That is because you certainly not going to teach kids deadly techniques. So that limits the number of students and thus your revenues. If you want to make a living teaching MA, you have to either teach kids or teach sport fighting. Second, even when it comes to teaching adults, there is this liability issue. Because of the liability issue, 99.99% of the MA schools teach watered down MA. They might as well call it Macho Physical Education or Macho Gymnastic, istead of Martial Arts. lol
What does that leave you? Well, serious combatives are primarily a domain of real life operators. The skills that allow you to jab out eyes, crash windpipe, break knee/ankle, and break backbone, are of very limited commercial appeal in our society. But, if you want to be able to fight hand to hand and win/survive/prevail, then combatives training is the venue. Conventional MA will most likely get you hurt or killed.
P.S. I am sure many would feel the need to stand up and defend his/her MA and tell me that I am just full of the stuffs that enhance plant growth. That's ok. lol To them, I wish them long life and happiness.