I got anxiety reading this thread becaue of how similar we are. It's like it was me posting all this but just forgot about it.
Back in your head, you know you have it all or at least everything you need to be happy, but it just doesn't "connect". You have to work for it. You have to convince yourself over and over in your head all the steps to feel good. Then you're ready.
But then comes the brain fog, or headaches, and your once witty and casual personality is just shot, and you can't think. Which leads to not wanting to talk to anyone.
I went through the stage of self diagnosing, doing research, and trying a bunch of supplements or OTC's, and even benzo's. But all that made it worse, due to stuff being too overwhelming (I can't keep track of it in my head, "Is this working? Is it making it worse" "Is it the best source"?). It seems like when I'm off everything, and just eat right and train, I'm at my best (but not where I should be).
Man, there's a lot more, that's not even close to a quarter of it, but the more I write and think about this ****, I'll get into overanalyzing anxiety mode.