Nightshift,
I feel for you.
This was my 2nd Thanksgiving without an in-tact family. My sons, 23 and 20 came to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with me, as did my 23 year old niece and the 22 year old boy (man, really) that lives in my house. My sons will have nothing to do w/ their mother. My daughter, who made a phone call to the house and spoke to everyone BUT me, still sees me as public enemy No. 1. It hurts.
But I have to accept it.
I don't believe it was God's plan for things to work out this way; but I can pursue God's plan in my life by trying very intentionally to be the best man I can be; and try to glorify God with my thoughts and deeds. I don't believe God wants me to resent reality; but, rather, to accept that which I can't change, face it, and then let it go - by turning to Him in prayer. But - part of that, at least to me, also means surrounding myself with good and Godly men who support me - and keep me from falling into all of the common traps.
And, for me, one of those traps is the insecurity of feeling unloved by my daughter. And so, I accept the situation and I try not to look at my daughter as a source of validation. I accept validation from those who are there to love me. And I look to God. And I focus on what is true and good.
I guess one of the things I wish to impart is that we, as men, need to be in community. Suffering alone doesn't do it; but opening yourself (and your most secret vulnerabilities and fears) to God and other men is a healing path that one just can't easily travel alone.
So, as much as I hate doing so, I have to ask God to help put to sleep that part of my heart that would otherwise be dedicated to my daughter. That part will reawaken when my daughter wants me back in her life.