College Graduation, Careers, and Relationships. Need a Women's Advice/opinions!

[nofx4110]

I have been dating this wonderfull girl for about a year and a half. Everything is about as perfect as can be except for one thing. :wtf:

About 2 months ago she told me if I didn't graduate this May, she would break up with me:whip:. This really pissed me off:nono:. I am fully capable of graduating in May, but I don't think it should affect my relationship if I graduate or not.:aargh: Secondly, It makes me question what she really wants out of this relationship.

A little bit of background information: This May will be the end of my 5th year. I had a hard time in college and I accomplished nothing my sophmore and junior year, mostly due to reasons beyond my control (health) and the fact that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I hustled for the past year and a half with online classes, summer school, and overloading have something like 21 hours left. I am doing the best in school I have ever done.

This week I found out that I am going to miss out on some of the classes I need to graduate unless I take them online, which I don't feel like doing anymore. I am perfectly okay with this, I have a good addendum for the 2 years I didn't get any credits in (health reasons and I was playing in a couple bands and recording a lot of music:head:, and figuring out what I wanted to do). Also, the way the job market is going, I don't want to graduate, not get a job, then let next years graduates get them while I am stuck flipping burgers. My family is also on my side.

I have made the decision to take it easy next semster, prepare for the LSAT's :study:, (yea, this is taking it easy for me!) and say to hell with her:rasp:. I haven't told her yet though because I want to do it face to face. I know its going to be hard because I really love her, and I can't help but wonder if I am making the wrong decision. :blink:

What do you think, is it f'ed up that she won't stay with me unless I meet her ultimatium:box:, or f'ed up that I won't meet the ultimatium to make it work:FUfinger:. Should a persons's education or career hold any bearing in a relationship?:think:

 

[RenegadeRows]

That's messed up homie

 

[nofx4110]

messed up on my part?

 

[Australian made]

when someone makes an ultimatim like this they are in the weaker position. She will not break up with you. How petty is that. Do your own thing. Tell her your plans. If she doesn't like them and says "well you know i said id break up with you if you didn't graduate". just say yeah i know that.......and see what she says.

 

[nofx4110]

when someone makes an ultimatim like this they are in the weaker position. She will not break up with you. How petty is that. Do your own thing. Tell her your plans. If she doesn't like them and says "well you know i said id break up with you if you didn't graduate". just say yeah i know that.......and see what she says.

Good point.

 

[Australian made]

I'm annoyed on your behalf haha. One ultimatim now.......how many more is she going to make in the future.

 

[bigpoppapump2]

Is your girl going to graduate in May? Or did she already graduate? Or does she still have a couple more years to go?

 

[nofx4110]

Is your girl going to graduate in May? Or did she already graduate? Or does she still have a couple more years to go?

a couple more years, she is graduating on time from a much better school than I go too.

 

[Irish Cannon]

WTF, mate?! Ditch her! That's so messed up on her part. She's obviously not in this relationship for the right reasons. You need to get out NOW! Don't let it get to you. Plenty of more women out there, and obviously much better ones than her. Even if you were going to graduate within "her timeframe" I'd still break up with her just for saying that BS.

There is no reason to stay with this wench.

 

[Lacradocious]

I struggled a bit in the middle years of college similar to what you describe. It was hard for me to determine what I wanted to do with my life and I felt like I was wasting my time, money, and my loved one's expectations of me.

It sounds like your girlfriend is feeling uncertainty about the future. I don't think that there is necessarily anything wrong with that, but she should be more honest with you in terms of how she is feeling rather than giving you an ultimatum.

I would suggest that you be a little selfish at this point. It certainly sounds like she is. Be confident in yourself and what you are doing, and are capable of. If you have developed a plan for what you ultimately want out of school, and it is working for you, then don't give that up because of her.

I am not suggesting that you give up on your relationship with her. But, if you make concessions regarding your plans and then your plans fall through, you will resent her for it and it will poison your relationship.

As always, this is all just my opinion. Good luck to you with school and the relationship.

 

[nofx4110]

WTF, mate?! Ditch her! That's so messed up on her part. She's obviously not in this relationship for the right reasons. You need to get out NOW! Don't let it get to you. Plenty of more women out there, and obviously much better ones than her. Even if you were going to graduate within "her timeframe" I'd still break up with her just for saying that BS.

There is no reason to stay with this wench.

I know her parents have alot to do with it. They have a thing about graduating in 4 years

I struggled a bit in the middle years of college similar to what you describe. It was hard for me to determine what I wanted to do with my life and I felt like I was wasting my time, money, and my loved one's expectations of me.

It sounds like your girlfriend is feeling uncertainty about the future. I don't think that there is necessarily anything wrong with that, but she should be more honest with you in terms of how she is feeling rather than giving you an ultimatum.

I would suggest that you be a little selfish at this point. It certainly sounds like she is. Be confident in yourself and what you are doing, and are capable of. If you have developed a plan for what you ultimately want out of school, and it is working for you, then don't give that up because of her.

I am not suggesting that you give up on your relationship with her. But, if you make concessions regarding your plans and then your plans fall through, you will resent her for it and it will poison your relationship.

As always, this is all just my opinion. Good luck to you with school and the relationship.

I definatly have a plan, and it is going better than I expected. I don't really have a choice, I'm doomed if I do doomed if I don't.

 

[Omen]

Drop the *****.

The second she told me that ultimatum, I would've leaned in with a smile like I'm gonna kiss her, look her straight in the eyes and say "Baby, you don't need to worry about that......because what I do from now on, does not include you, get out of my house, before you say anything, I don't wanna hear it, get out"

Or leave if it's her place or a public place.

Next, it's gonna be an ultimatum with what house you wanna buy, what job you wanna take, etc...etc.. usually men have their balls with their wives after a few years, she's already got yours oh and she'll get half your money too if you keep going with her....

You can just give me 25% and I won't say nothing about the toilet seat!

 

[moklepaul]

Just confront her. If it's been a good relationship, no sense ending it over something like that. Sometimes, words are just words. Tell her how you felt about it, your current plan, and how ask how she sees herself fitting into it.

 

[nofx4110]

Just confront her. If it's been a good relationship, no sense ending it over something like that. Sometimes, words are just words. Tell her how you felt about it, your current plan, and how ask how she sees herself fitting into it.

I am confronting her on monday when I see her. I almost broke up with her when she first said it 2-3 months ago. I am interested in seeing how she is going to take it. If she says **** it, its for the better. It's not like her to give ultimatiums, I think her dad was behind it. He is such a bith, he crys all the time and it looks like if he has a problem with me he relays it through her.

 

[moklepaul]

Don't bring her dad into it when you do. Just keep it between you two. How has the relationship been since she said that? Same old, same old happy?

 

[nofx4110]

Don't bring her dad into it when you do. Just keep it between you two. How has the relationship been since she said that? Same old, same old happy?

Its been great, I might even say better. Once this is cleared up there will be no problems at all. One thing that has been bothering me is her weight... She has lost a lot lately because of her medicine. She used to be curvy:chick:, but she has a distorted body image (because of her family) because she used to be kinda chubby, so she thought she was fat. She was bulimic for awhile too, so anything about her weight is a touchy subject. I did alot of research on it and from what ive found, if she is really skinny like she is it means she isn't purging. She told me she wants to gain some weight back, but today she said she gained some over thanksgiving and she wants it gone... She's lost alot of her beautiful breast tissue:sad: