I went to a psychologist a couple years back. I was depressed. MASSIVELY depressed. This was before I found religion, and all such things.
I still remember is name, his office, his advice. Matt was his name.
He worked with me alot. At first it was a weekly visits on Wednesdays for an hour. After about 4 months of that, I improved enough to do every 2 weeks. Then once a month. And finally came the day I walked into his office, we talked and we shook hands for the last time, and I was a new being. He did all he could do, I wasnt perfect, but I now had the tools to work on myself with. I walked out of that office for the last time, and closed one chapter of my book, and opened another.
Sadly after that I went through the hell with my girlfriend (she was jumping back and forth during the time I was going to him. He was one of the reasons I didnt lose it) then she chose me. For awhile life was perfect. Then hell, then super hell. I was depressed again.
But once you learn to deal with it, those tools never go away. you might have to learn to re apply them to new situations.
He will most likely at one point show you and explain the wheel system of balancing your life.
I too have a habit of sabotaging my school, putting myself in debt, and ignoring friends. Unless they need my help, which is when I actually feel good.
Being needed, and being helpful to other people helps ALOT. The gym is where I get out my frustration and pain. Church was the best medicine. Besides a source of never ending love. I am a youth leader, and I drive a church van with all these little kids who call me Mr. Paul and get excited when they see me, and hug me when they go by. I have friends who call or talk to me when they need help.
Be a beacon of light for others, and the light you shine shall consume the darkness within.
Life isnt perfect, and my mind often finds ways to try and drag me down. Which is why I will get into games or just sleep, or lay there and daydream all day.
It is a process you must go through. The war in your mind is just as real to you as it is to an american soldier in Iraq. Psychologists understand this, they know that ones mind can make ANYTHING real to oneself. And it is not just a simple matter of "shut up and suck it up" it holds real dangers, and can hurt really bad bro...
Do you think it could have anything to do with your 2 weekers your doing?
Also man, you can PM me anytime you need. And if you ever wanted I could pass you my #. My job in life, as a person going to be a teacher, youth pastor, and personal trainer, is to help others. I cannot exist without serving.
You have probably seen me on here lately going through things. I go through 1 or 2 weekers sperts, but I know I will get out of it. I lost my job, dealing with my ex again(cant avoid the person situations suck), but I find help in a couple people on here, and by helping others.
SWG is right, serving others, makes you worth something, in a world full of selfless people, you make a difference, when you extend your arms, in a world of apparently limbless torso's....