your best insults

I usually don't wear a watch, so looking down at my wrist and saying "Hmmm" while someone talks works. When they ask me what I am doing, I say "Checking my give-a-****-a-meter. It's at an all time low"

"Jesus doesn't love you anymore" is a fun one.
 
Glad to see you all still enjoying this thread. I didnt realize there were so many people out there who enjoyed a great insult!! Glad to know we still have humor and are not a bunch of uptight ***holes!

Here are a few you can say to your women, if they can take a joke. They may look weak, but when said at the right moment, they are hilarious! Like in a public restaurant:
Call her a :
1. Ho bag
2. slut bucket
3. Gutter slut
 
Is that your face? Or did your neck throw up?

Such a shame you have to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you!

You are so ugly you have to sneak up on a glass of water to drink it!
 
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