sns8778
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I really let myself go after the accident - it was a combination of not being able to walk, still not being able to workout, and then just the absolute deep depression I've dealt with since. I would be embarrassed to say what my weight had gotten up to but in the last year I lost pretty much all of my muscle and gained so much fat that when I started making dietary changes around 3.5 weeks ago, I was over 20 lbs. heavier than I've ever been in my life even when I had a lot more muscle.
I've always been self conscious even when I was in much better shape, that's part of the reason you'll never see me post pics of myself and that I don't do product videos and things like that. It's been a psychological problem I've battled my whole life; but mostly just in the sense of videos and pictures because in day to day life, I'm not super self conscious - but I'd gotten to the point where I was embarrassed to even go out in public because of how I'd let myself go.
What I really want to do is get some of my muscle back and lose fat, but my weight and body-fat has gotten so high that I feel like I need to focus on fat loss first - for both my physical and mental health. Plus, without being able to workout yet, I can't really focus on building so I thought it'd be a good time to try to lose fat fast.
My goal for the year is to be back in good shape by the end of the year. Not bodybuilding shape, because with my endocrinology and autoimmune conditions and the injuries from the accident, that's just not possible. But my goal is to look better and feel better and be in the best shape I can be by the end of the year. I really want to try to motivate myself by saying I want to be in my best shape ever by the end of the year, but I don't think I will be cleared to workout in time for that to be possible. But by end of the year, my goal is just to be in better shape than 90% of the general population.
My first goal was to lose 20 lbs. as quickly as possibly. I did that in the first 3 weeks so very pleased with that.
I can't weigh daily or even weekly or it drives me nuts and is self sabotage for me - because in the past I've realized if I weigh and its not what I hope, I'll get even more depressed and discouraged and eating bad foods like pizza and candy is my way of coping with that, so its a self defeating cycle for me.
So, my next goal is to lose another 20 lbs. but I'm not going to weigh again until I feel 100% sure that I've lost at least that much or more.
I hope to be able to start back doing some light training and cardio within the next month and once I'm confident I've lost another 20 lbs. and weigh to confirm it, I hope I can switch to more of a recomp based program and still try to get leaner but while getting some of my muscle back.
Sorry for the long answer. Just explaining my thought process with it because I'm kind of just taking my goals in stages to try to avoid getting discouraged.
Someone encouraged me yesterday to start a journal on it to share my results along the way along with what fat loss products I'm using myself - because with my health issues, food allergies, and not being able to train yet and knowing I'll be limited whenever I can start back - its more along the liens of what an average general person may do and face and may find encouraging to know that these are the types of results that can be achieved even with restrictions and not having to do everything perfectly.
