What's your outlook in life ?

BOSSMAN

BOSSMAN

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Dam Q , sorry that you had and have to go through this. Its obvious you have found a way to cope. I interact with you on a daily basis and would have never known. Thanks for sharing brother, sometimes that's the best thing to do is get it out. I'm here for you brother. Keep them Shoulders back, stand tall, chin up, and keep Marching on my friend. God bless you . 💯
 
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enhanced

enhanced

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Sorry to hear you're going through this storm.. We all are either going in, already in, or through the storms in life..
I've been through all phases more than once!!
Currently blessed and counting those blessings every second..
 
GQdaLEGEND

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Dam Q , sorry that you had and have to go through this. Its obvious you have found a way to cope. I interact with you on a daily basis and would have never known. Thanks for sharing brother, sometimes that's the best thing to do is get it out. I'm here for you brother. Keep them Shoulders back, stand tall, chin up, and keep Marching on my friend. God bless you . 💯
Thanks man .. yeah i think as a man, we always just say "Im allright" and don't speak up about our problems, so its nice to get it out there sometimes.

I use this forum to kind of get away atleast 8-5pm weekdays and keep my mind occupied and be happy with everyone here.
 
GQdaLEGEND

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Sorry to hear you're going through this storm.. We all are either going in, already in, or through the storms in life..
I've been through all phases more than once!!
Currently blessed and counting those blessings every second..
beautiful said bro
 
akboom87

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Also sorry to hear man. Have been through similar situation no children involved though. Was a wreck for way longer then I should have been. The light at the end of the tunnel finally shined and I stepped out and set out my lawn chair and soaked that **** up. I can honestly say I’m stronger and better then before, now. Know I’m new here and don’t know everyone very well, you ever need to talk or even just vent shoot me a pm.

My outlook on life now is great, and like enhanced said count my blessings everyday. I learned how to look at the past and be great full for it now.

All the best man and chin up you got this!
 
xR1pp3Rx

xR1pp3Rx

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the entire countries outlook is a total mess.
I have power to the roof over my head and a few bags of beans and rice and ammo stocked up.
my first grandchild is on the way.
sad that he will be born into this sh1t show.
fuk joe biden.
 
CasperKValentine

CasperKValentine

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That is heavy **** brother! About 7 years ago I watched my mother slowly dying of liver failure until she finally received a last min transplant. I didn't handle it well at all. I became a raging alcoholic. I know that seem crazy since she was dying of liver problems but she was never a drinker and I just gradually started drinking more and more kind of in denial about it until I finally made changes. Lean on your friends and loved one's and try to keep finding peace. Sometimes like fighting for gains in the gym we have to fight just to keep from losing it. Keep fighting the good fight and I wish you the best in these rough times brother!
 
Beau

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I am sorry for your loss and the issues with your Dad.

Regarding the divorce - I get it. After my first wife committed adultery, the 2nd time, I invited her to leave and filed for divorce. Nonetheless, it was difficult, debasing and expensive (emotionally and financially). Time, by itself, does NOT heal all wounds. Time used with the right resources (for me, self help books and books on dealing with adultery and loss) does heal all wounds. But, I had to be intentional and I really did not want to carry her garbage around with me. And I don't.

Surrounding yourself with good people who will tell you what you need to hear (not what you want to hear) is a great place to start.

You may find, as I did - that you are much better off without her. I did. It was better to be alone than it was to be with a lousy person. And, I later remarried - and hit the wife lottery the 2nd time. But not for what I went through, I could have never realized that.

My ex-wife poisoned my then 14 year old daughter against me, because she was concerned that she would lose relationships with all three kids and my sons were old enough to be disgusted with her. There is a book called "Emotional Incest" that explains it very well. So, because of what that person did - I (basically) have not spent any time with my daughter since 2007. No cards, emails, nothing. I sent 100s, and I believe my ex wife initially threw them away. Then, with enough damage done, my daughter never responded to the ones she did receive. I have to accept it. I do. I don't like it or dwell on it - because there is NOTHING I can do to change it. I've tried. She did not even reach out when my Mom passed away. That is "all hers" to own. OK - I get it - you don't want anything to do with me and have no compassion. I can accept that - even though I wish it was not so.

So - there is no resolution for that one. It just is. So, I focus on the relationships I have with my sons. I hope you have a much better outcome. It must hurt terribly. I am sorry for that.

I've lost both parents. One was due to dementia. Because it was long term (dementia), I'll compare that against the cancer situation. I am so sorry for what you are going through. There is a reason we are called to "honor our mother and father". Supporting your Dad is a true way of honoring him (especially if he didn't "earn it"). Honor and love him and you will never regret it. Make sure you tell him everything you want him to know and everything you need to say.

Stay strong. Stay in prayer. PM me if you ever need to vent.
 
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FloridaMan

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Thanks to family mental illness I'm pretty numb. Life just happens and that's it.

My dad is sitting in open heart right now with an... Increased risk of death to make it short. And I'm just here, mostly thinking about the PITA it's gonna be if he dies. People don't ever seem to understand my mental state and that's cool, but god is it annoying when they try to make me feel different and emotional... Like I've tried people, doesn't work for me, ask my wife.
 
CasperKValentine

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@Beau, takes a lot of courage to share that! Glad you are staying strong. What a lot of outsiders don't realize about what we do is that it's not all about vanity. This **** makes you mentally stronger!
 
GQdaLEGEND

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Thanks to everyone really in this thread .. sometimes you don't think about others until the time you hear their stories .. it shouldn't be like that but its the truth.

When i go to hospitals/clinics to help dad with his checkups .. and see's 8-10year old cancer patients .. really breaks your heart but at the same time makes you think

No matter what you are going through .. there's someone out there that has it worst then you ..or is gasping for that last breath and wishes could be in your place.

I learned alot and won't hesitate to seek help, im not ashamed of that .. appreciate it everyone.
 
Beau

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@Beau, takes a lot of courage to share that! Glad you are staying strong. What a lot of outsiders don't realize about what we do is that it's not all about vanity. This **** makes you mentally stronger!
Thank you - that was very generous of you and it was nice to read.

I have learned that many of the lessons we learn, especially those we did not want to learn and didn't ask for, afford us an opportunity to use our experience to help other people - when they go through similar (or much worse) experiences. Since we "had to" learn about whatever it was (dementia, divorce, grieving, etc.), we need to be willing to reach out to help others. That way we can leverage whatever we learned through our own difficulty and hopefully walk with others as they go through their challenges.
 
Kronic

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I mostly focus on lifting and bodybuilding first. I find life easier in general if I look good and feel good. it especially makes finding a new woman easier.

after that I focus on work and secondary hobbies. video games help me escape and take rest days. I'm probably gonna join a gym for social reasons and turf sledding. im recently maidenless too, but no kids so I can't relate fully
 
enhanced

enhanced

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I tell my wife about this forum. She automatically thinks meatheads.. I told her the other day about the skin care thread. I told her about this thread this morning. She actually told me that she's glad that I have this forum to talk to guys like all of you..
Other than my neighbors, I really don't have friends. I've been sitting at home from surgery for a month now and you all are my only outlet..

My 1st wife (while I was I'm San Diego in the Marine's), was both physically and mentally abusive towards me.. There I was, a young, alone dude in Cali, & she was torturing me and nobody in the Corp's knew about it..

Wife #2 decided that after I paid her way through paramedic school at a private college, that she wanted to sleep with all the firefighters in town..

Now, with wife #3, I have 3 beautiful kids (boy and girl)! Sure, I'm the oldest dad at all the functions (50 years old), but I probably look better that 99% of those dads. Lol. My wife knows what I've been through. She also had a husband that cheated on her.

This forum has evolved into a bunch of older fellas that have been through more emotional crap than most can handle..

We all come out on the other side, polished. Shined up and ready to grapple with whatever life decides to throw at us next!

Everything I just shared is stuff that I've never shared with coworkers..

This forum helps us all open up and vent.
 
Beau

Beau

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I tell my wife about this forum. She automatically thinks meatheads.. I told her the other day about the skin care thread. I told her about this thread this morning. She actually told me that she's glad that I have this forum to talk to guys like all of you..
Other than my neighbors, I really don't have friends. I've been sitting at home from surgery for a month now and you all are my only outlet..

My 1st wife (while I was I'm San Diego in the Marine's), was both physically and mentally abusive towards me.. There I was, a young, alone dude in Cali, & she was torturing me and nobody in the Corp's knew about it..

Wife #2 decided that after I paid her way through paramedic school at a private college, that she wanted to sleep with all the firefighters in town..

Now, with wife #3, I have 3 beautiful kids (boy and girl)! Sure, I'm the oldest dad at all the functions (50 years old), but I probably look better that 99% of those dads. Lol. My wife knows what I've been through. She also had a husband that cheated on her.

This forum has evolved into a bunch of older fellas that have been through more emotional crap than most can handle..

We all come out on the other side, polished. Shined up and ready to grapple with whatever life decides to throw at us next!

Everything I just shared is stuff that I've never shared with coworkers..

This forum helps us all open up and vent.
Wow - what tremendous character those negative events have forged into your personality. And, you triumphed over it - that is awesome. Just to be able to trust someone in a relationship, after two different types of betrayal, took tremendous courage - and it sounds as if that courage resulted in tremendous rewards with your wife and children.

Good for you. You are very well positioned to help younger men facing similar issues (BTW - I am MUCH older than you).
 
GQdaLEGEND

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I tell my wife about this forum. She automatically thinks meatheads.. I told her the other day about the skin care thread. I told her about this thread this morning. She actually told me that she's glad that I have this forum to talk to guys like all of you..
Other than my neighbors, I really don't have friends. I've been sitting at home from surgery for a month now and you all are my only outlet..

My 1st wife (while I was I'm San Diego in the Marine's), was both physically and mentally abusive towards me.. There I was, a young, alone dude in Cali, & she was torturing me and nobody in the Corp's knew about it..

Wife #2 decided that after I paid her way through paramedic school at a private college, that she wanted to sleep with all the firefighters in town..

Now, with wife #3, I have 3 beautiful kids (boy and girl)! Sure, I'm the oldest dad at all the functions (50 years old), but I probably look better that 99% of those dads. Lol. My wife knows what I've been through. She also had a husband that cheated on her.

This forum has evolved into a bunch of older fellas that have been through more emotional crap than most can handle..

We all come out on the other side, polished. Shined up and ready to grapple with whatever life decides to throw at us next!

Everything I just shared is stuff that I've never shared with coworkers..

This forum helps us all open up and vent.
Thanks for sharing brother .. i agree on that .. i dont open up to people in real life

mainly bc i dont want them to feel sad/bad for me, esp my parents .. they dont deserve to be in more pain

i still don't know how i will live without my son being in different country .. hopefully once the case is settled and she has to bring him here 2-3x a year and i can go there 2-3x a year .. my mind will be at ease .. as of right now def is affecting my sleep

like im okay at 8-9hrs at work but when im at home and laying alone and just keep thinking of his memories (2yr old) breaks my heart.

i appreciate yours and all the posts here in this thread and seems like you went through some stuff too and happy to see life put together w/ beautiful kids.

I do use this forum as an escape myself and feel comfortable opening up here.
 
Cheeky Monkey

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I just discovered one!

"Be desirable"

Very motivating. Not just for the wife but just in general...who doesn't like being desired am I right? ;)
 

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