STORY TIME

lukehayd

lukehayd

Legend
Alright, along the lines of the word association thread, each post is a new sentence/ continuation to the story. I'll start:


Once upon a time there was a boy that wanted to be a bodybuilder.
 
he wiped his ass, and pulled his pants up, only to watch his phone fall into the toilet. (true story, thank god for lifeproof iPhone case)
 
realized that phone was dry and continued taking random pictures of his junk to send to females
 
Accidently sent pics to all people in address book including his boss and family members. Now he is a drunkn crack head living on the streets depressed with no job or family.
 
So he dawned his white sheet and pointy white hood and headed for the rainbow sworn to nail that fruity bastard to a burning cross! Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!
 
At that moment, the boy realized something---- the robot ninja wasn't gay but G.A.Y. He wondered what the G.A.Y. really stood for.
 
The boy thought and he though about what G.A.Y could stand for but got frustrated and destroyed that robot with the stupid acronym and took his gold!
 
So the boy got 2 miles down the road and stopped to look at the bag of gold. Unfotunately it was a bag of use condoms , throw -up,and vodka bottles from a party the previous night.
 
This made the boy really mad! He knew that the skank that the now destroyed ninja robot hooked up with had the gold! So he set off to find her!
 
The boy drove his newly stolen Rebel to his spy friend Ivan's compound hoping he could get the skanks DNA off of the used condoms.
 
Upon getting to the compound boy found Ivan smoking pcp in his underwear chasing shadow puppets with a flashlight.
 
It was at that point he realized that Ivan had gotten in to deep. With a sigh the boy put his poor drugged out friend out of his misery. The Boy was on a mission, a mission for gold and he would not be stopped!
 
So, since Ivan had turned to be useless, he found a bloodhound to try and track the skank down. The dog picked up her trail immediately and they tracked her down to a very run down trailer park when the dog lost the trail amongst all the other skank trails.
 
the boy crept past the Mertal Mannor trailer park guard and went from trailer to trailer getting more and more frustrated with every step. There were nothing but meth labs and black out drunk guys watching NASCAR. Then suddenly...
 
That rotten dog had laid a big steamer and the boy stepped in it and slipped and fell. He hit his head on the trailer house tongue and was knocked out cold.
 
When the boy finally started to come to he found him self bound and gaged with two hill billys looking at him. The boy knew he was in trouble!
 
The worst part was the stoned guy that was licking him in the face when he finally woke up. The stoner said in a Chong voice that the dog had asked him to take over for him because his tongue was getting tired. He then said that it was a good thing he woke up when he did because his tongue was getting tired too!
 
Feeling as fresh as a new born kitten after his tongue bath the boy started to plot his escape. His mind was still on the GOLD!
 
After chewing through the ropes the boy looked for weapons. All he found was sum nunchucks and a used pair of rollerblades.
 
Well, they would have to do. He told the stoner guy that the nunchucks were two really big doobies but hard to light and then proceeded to lace up the roller blades to do a little "Blades of Glory" on those hillbillys.
 
The boy went from trailer to trailer smashing hillbilly’s with his ferocious nunchuck attack, taking no prisoners. A whistle cut through the air and the boy stopped his merciless beating for a moment. He turned in the direction of the shrill sound and saw the skank, who had the gold. Behind her however was a gang of roller derby whores. Dressed in black leather skirts and spiked elbow and knee pads. They looked like Oakland Raider fan rejects.
 
At that point, he remembered the Texans in his backpack so he turned them lose on those ghey roller derbie bulls. This left him free to chase the skank!
 
The skank, realizing she was out gunned retreated into her double wide and bared the door. The boy crashed against the cheep aluminum side paneling tearing it from the frame.
 
After having his way with the skank the boy fit her neck with a tight zip tie. As he went to claim his gold he saw a 2 foot midget shove the gold up his ass and run like the wind into the woods.
 
"Im getting too old for this Sh1t!" The Boy cried out! Knowing that this was going to wind up a quest the Boy sacked the trailer for supplies but all he could find was crystal meth, Spam, and Milwaukie’s Best. He filled his backpack with his gear and started off into the Dark Forest not knowing or caring about what was coming next. He was going to get that midget, gut him, and claim ownership of his fortune if it was the last thing he did.
 
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