So my girl cheated....... Now What?

Same **** happened to me. I was engaged too. Just say **** it. Sluts will be sluts. Get on a nice high dose of test so you feel on top of the world and focus on YOU. She obviously didn't deserve you.
 
Personally, I'd be outter there.

I could never forgive, let alone forget that.

People deserve better than that.

Hope you're ok.
 
ChocolateClen said:
Title says all.
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Sh1t bro.

Apparently her feelings for you aren't as strong.
Try to resolve it with as less drama as possible.

You are still healing from surgery, concentrate on that! You are your best friend!
 
I thought she cheated on her diet... and I thought WTF!... How could she do that?! Next thing you'll tell us is she's decided she like noodles more than rice. F.cuk that ish. She's not good enough for you. Did you a favour. <-- purposely spelt like that because I hate spell check. Btiches.

Now, you do what you feel is more important. It's a sign, my man.
Sleep with her mom.

Mike drop.
--
Serious PM'ed.
and, what hairygrandpa said.
 
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Old saying that still holds true today. Run and cut your losses.
 
Ok, I'm super new here and about to drop some self incriminating sh1t.

I cheated...Not just once...All my life. Sometimes the answer is as simple as mentioned above, but sometimes it's not.
What I can say that's consistent across most cases...It had nothing to do with you. I know that it seems just the opposite. Without knowing your relationship, I can't comment on what you should do. Married, kids, length of time together, etc. Those are all real factors. Most importantly though, what is she doing to correct the behavior? If 'I'm sorry, it was a mistake, it will never happen again' is all she has to offer, than that's not a good sign. When that worked for me, it never lasted, even when I believed myself.
Right now I'm living in a separate house and going through aggressive psychotherapy as well as medication and life changes. This won't guarantee I'll get my family back, but I had to choose not to be who I was, no matter what.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is there's a fundamental problem with her values or the adherence to what she believes her values are and without serious pain, hard work and professional help, permanent change is unlikely.

I may have some haters now, but thought you might appreciate some truth from another perspective.
 
TheMovement said:
Well why did she need to go outside of her relationship for something?
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Idk man. Thought I was doing everything right honestly. Idk why she went out and had sex with another guy cause it's not like me and her had any issues in that department. I can't figure it out and idk if it's just because it's me or cause it's her but it's really ****ing with my head
 
ChocolateClen said:
Idk man. Thought I was doing everything right honestly. Idk why she went out and had sex with another guy cause it's not like me and her had any issues in that department. I can't figure it out and idk if it's just because it's me or cause it's her but it's really ****ing with my head
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If you are near me I will gladly beat her to near death for you. PM me.........




I'm joking. Move on and find a hotter girl.
 
It just gets to me that she'd cheat and then lie about it when I called her out and now she's back with her ex. I just don't get it. Doesn't make sense in my head anymore. Probably has something to do with me tho since this is the second time it's happened and I've only been in 2 relationships
 
ChocolateClen said:
It just gets to me that she'd cheat and then lie about it when I called her out and now she's back with her ex. I just don't get it. Doesn't make sense in my head anymore. Probably has something to do with me tho since this is the second time it's happened and I've only been in 2 relationships
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You may be on to something there. Read on.

Both of those girls chose you because of something very special they saw in you, much like the next girl will. The problem arises due to the fact they feel others will too, and you are no longer 'safe' like their ex boyfriends... Safe in the way, you won't stray or be pulled away. They are projecting their own misgivings and insecurities on you, and hitting it before they think you will.

You're the shi.t my man. Now go and sleep with your now-ex girlfriend's now-non-ex-boyfriend's mom. :D

Do your thing. Look at the sky, and the ground now and then when you're walking ; take notice as there's more to see than what's just in front of you, and way more than what's behind you.
 
Self analysis is helpful in these types of situations. But it's hard to analyze when you feel like nothing is wrong because of lack of communication. It is hard at first, but it probably isn't an issue with you. You said yourself she is back with her ex. You may have been the rebound guy without knowing it because people tend to lie to themselves and others about their feelings in those situations. I wouldn't take it as an indictment of yourself. Just keep loving yourself and really just say "Fck it, that girl wasn't meant for me."

This is the way I handled stuff like that. It probably isn't the most healthy way either. I banged out girls that were down. I didn't lie or pretend like it was going to lead to more. Just be single for awhile and enjoy all the goodness that comes with being a single badass.
 
Better now than later.

Detach your emotions from the whole thing and move on. Find something to keep your mind off it.
 
It's a girlfriend-

First off, dump her as there are no ties and she is a cheater.

Secondly, look at yourself and see where there is something you can better or improve with yourself. Everybody can and now is an opportunity to better yourself- maybe there was a reason she cheated.

Third, profit.
 
Seriously though, Maybe it's something in the air. My wife of 17 years (together for 22) pretty much ****ed up my whole universe last week. Let's just say getting tested for VD was NOT what I had planned for a Friday afternoon. I knew she's been spending lots more time with her "cousins" at bars and stuff, and we have been going through it. But this ****ed me up. I don't know what to even do; we've become best friends and grew up together (teenage parents). Sorry didn't mean to hijack, had to vent
 
medinacirilo said:
Seriously though, Maybe it's something in the air. My wife of 17 years (together for 22) pretty much ****ed up my whole universe last week. Let's just say getting tested for VD was NOT what I had planned for a Friday afternoon. I knew she's been spending lots more time with her "cousins" at bars and stuff, and we have been going through it. But this ****ed me up. I don't know what to even do; we've become best friends and grew up together (teenage parents). Sorry didn't mean to hijack, had to vent
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Counseling is your best move
 
ChocolateClen I'm sorry to hear that bro. When I was younger I was cheated on twice, put me off of dating for a long time. FIRST it was not your fault bro. Cheaters will cheat. Second get away from her, she will always be a cheater. Imagine one day being married and having to wonder everyday she gets home.

Thirdly, don't let yourself go to **** over this. Train harder, study or work harder ficus in building yourself. Lastly, take a break dude. Just be single for a while. Hope this helps bro.
 
Most here have given the same advice. Take it bro :)
 
Thanks guys, your support means a lot to me. Not easy to do or say it but most of you are right, just sucks you were right cause I trusted her. I got it all figured out tho just have to deal with it now which is the hardest part. Can't do much to distract me either since I can't workout and stuff still.
 
ChocolateClen said:
Thanks guys, your support means a lot to me. Not easy to do or say it but most of you are right, just sucks you were right cause I trusted her. I got it all figured out tho just have to deal with it now which is the hardest part. Can't do much to distract me either since I can't workout and stuff still.
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You can do legs! (he said accusingly, but isn't working out because of his own sh it., lol)
 
Im sorry to hear that Clen. It might not feel like this, but its probably for the best. The truth of the matter is, there is someone out there BETTER for you who would never cheat on you. Get your **** together and go meet her.
 
ChocolateClen said:
Thanks guys, your support means a lot to me. Not easy to do or say it but most of you are right, just sucks you were right cause I trusted her. I got it all figured out tho just have to deal with it now which is the hardest part. Can't do much to distract me either since I can't workout and stuff still.
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Good luck man. Pain is our most useful motivator. Without it, we wouldn't adapt and overcome. Find a way to use it!
 
If you love something, let it go, what comes back to you is yours. If it does not.. it never was..
Think about it......

I went through a 4 year relationship, where in the end I was torn for almost 6 months. Nearly on the verge of being married. Since then I have been single for the last 6 years. I had a small relationship I really would not call a "True" relationship since then. I fell into depression, and made some really stupid mistakes. Life happens. Remember at the end of the day it happens for a reason. There will always be light at the end of the tunnel. Look into the big picture. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise? There is always more fish in the sea, and somebody for everyone.

At the end of the day, if you were true to her, you played your part, and did everything in your power. Then you have to let it go. Its clear she made a choice. There is an action and logical reason behind every choice.
Keep your head up and keep pushing forward. Leave it behind, if she doesn't come back. Then you know why.. She had her mind made up.
 
The Solution said:
If you love something, let it go, what comes back to you is yours. If it does not.. it never was..
Think about it......

I went through a 4 year relationship, where in the end I was torn for almost 6 months. Nearly on the verge of being married. Since then I have been single for the last 6 years. I had a small relationship I really would not call a "True" relationship since then. I fell into depression, and made some really stupid mistakes. Life happens. Remember at the end of the day it happens for a reason. There will always be light at the end of the tunnel. Look into the big picture. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise? There is always more fish in the sea, and somebody for everyone.

At the end of the day, if you were true to her, you played your part, and did everything in your power. Then you have to let it go. Its clear she made a choice. There is an action and logical reason behind every choice.
Keep your head up and keep pushing forward. Leave it behind, if she doesn't come back. Then you know why.. She had her mind made up.
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I prefer Riddick, you keep what you kill :-)
 
First come to terms with your pain. You can't avoid it, you can't run away from it, and suppressing it will eat away at you like a tumor.

Second, once you process the **** storm of emotions, make a decision based on your values and principles on what to do next. She made her decision to go back with her ex, now it's time for you to make yours. Move forward.

There is no easy fix. There is no one answer that suites everyone. This pain will mold you, this pain will strengthen you. You will get through this.

And when all else fails....get under a heavy ass bar and squat till you can't feel your legs.
 
ChocolateClen said:
It just gets to me that she'd cheat and then lie about it when I called her out and now she's back with her ex. I just don't get it. Doesn't make sense in my head anymore. Probably has something to do with me tho since this is the second time it's happened and I've only been in 2 relationships
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It may be a pattern you need to think about for sure.

However, in this case you also dodged a bullet. Hit the gym, **** some new girls, and in the long run you'll be glad to be free of that one. Also, good thing you didn't get her pregnant.
 
Keep your head up brother. We all got your back. We are a brotherhood here on AM.
 
Sorry to hear about your relationship, Clen. We tend to always blame ourselves after a relationship. What if I could have done things differently?!?
Truth is that it's not you. People are sh*tty sometimes, and the goal is to not give them the power to control your thoughts or emotions. Feel your pain, dig into your sorrows, cry about it, then move the f on. Don't let her win.

When my ex left me 7 years ago, I cried and cried like someone had died. At the same time, my coworker's wife of 20 plus years died of cancer. It put everything into perspective. Here I was crying over a pos cheater while my coworker will never ever see his wife again. I stopped crying after that...
 
Even if you do find another girl you should hide your money. A guy in my Guard unit got engaged and next you know she emptied out his ten grand from his bank account and left. Never reveal your true assets.
 
jameschoi said:
Even if you do find another girl you should hide your money. A guy in my Guard unit got engaged and next you know she emptied out his ten grand from his bank account and left. Never reveal your true assets.
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Yea, you don't mix your money until after you are legally married.
 
You should post any partial nude pics you have, like Macccy did. That'll teach her
 
SFreed said:
You should post any partial nude pics you have, like Macccy did. That'll teach her
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LOL I still can't believe that shyt. That dude despised her
 
You should post any partial nude pics you have, like Macccy did. That'll teach her
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< Hates himself for liking ^ comment... bad justhere4comm, bad... I should be punished.

Also, send her a telegram to make her feel better.. tell her you are so upset you've turned to CROSSFIT...
If she doesn't get it, she was never worth your trouble. (Apologies to cross fitters. Ok that was a lie.)

:afro:
 
There's no need to hate yourself over a truth. Keep your chin up!
 
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