Need advice

[Ryno94]

Hey guys not sure if this is the right section to post this. Might be a stupid question but I was wondering if there are any PEDs that would help accelerate the process of cleaning my system of thc? Got a drug test thrown on me for next Friday, the last time I smoked was Thursday night. Can’t use fake piss because they will be watching me. Thc is stored in fat so I’m going to continue my usual weight training routine and add in lots of cardio. I have roughly 12% bf and high metabolism. ive had to do this before but have never been on this tight of a schedule. Pass or fail it is what it is but I’m going to do everything in my power to pass.

Any tips or tricks would be appreciated! I’ve starting switching between green tea and coffee all day as well as lots of fiber. I have a whole stash of PEDs if throwing something in would help (superdrol, anavar, whinny, td dien, dta etc) For some fast fat burning.

 

[WANTED]

This is not a PED but you could try using goldenseal or yellow root slightly above recommended daily. Also stop smoking for now LOL

 

[WANTED]

Niacin is also a nice trick Used to flush the system

 

[Ryno94]

Niacin is also a nice trick Used to flush the system

Thanks, I’ll look into these. I have heard of niacin but not the other two.

 

[WANTED]

The niacin is tricky though don’t take too much or you will get flushed as in red face burning skin flushed

 

[WANTED]

The goldenseal and yellow root are both the same thing people just called them different names like that... Those can be found in your local vitamin Shoppe.

 

[CultiVader]

Slim chance of passing in a week regardless of how much water you drink and how much cardio you do. Unless you rarely partake and thursday was one of those “once in a blue moon times.”

 

[WANTED]

Slim chance of passing in a week regardless of how much water you drink and how much cardio you do. Unless you rarely partake and thursday was one of those “once in a blue moon times.”

This is true..

 

[Ryno94]

Slim chance of passing in a week regardless of how much water you drink and how much cardio you do. Unless you rarely partake and thursday was one of those “once in a blue moon times.”

Yes I realize that but I have to at least try. And I was clean before this last week. Only smoked a couple nights. So I’m going to keep telling myself it’s possible until the end

 

[Ryno94]

Worst comes to worst i just want to get as much out of my system as possible, then drink one of those same day detox drinks that basically waters down your urine enough but also adds all the necessary things like creatine, etc and b vitamins for color. I would rather get a diluted negative and have to retest instead of testing positive right

 

[blynch1]

Buy one of the Detoxify 5 day EverClean kits. They taste like total **** but it’s worked for me and numerous people I know that were heavy smokers for years up until the start of the 5 day cleanse. They’re $100 at smoke shops but somehow less than $30 on Amazon. Dump them back and drink a ton of water and you’ll be good to go. Pass it the first time.

 

[Ryno94]

Buy one of the Detoxify 5 day EverClean kits. They taste like total **** but it’s worked for me and numerous people I know that were heavy smokers for years up until the start of the 5 day cleanse. They’re $100 at smoke shops but somehow less than $30 on Amazon. Dump them back and drink a ton of water and you’ll be good to go. Pass it the first time.

Thanks for the info! I’ll try it. Gonna overnight that **** and start it asap. Looks like the same brand as my same day detox drink. So maybe this combo will help me. Also might be able to buy a couple more days to get clean. Going to bs them into rescheduling the appointment for after the next weekend

 

[blynch1]

Thanks for the info! I’ll try it. Gonna overnight that **** and start it asap. Looks like the same brand as my same day detox drink. So maybe this combo will help me. Also might be able to buy a couple more days to get clean. Going to bs them into rescheduling the appointment for after the next weekend

I wouldn’t even bother honestly. That stuff works hands down, but if you’d feel better then go for it

 

[nãomiguel]

Give up

 

[nãomiguel]

Listen, I'm going to help u.

Get Monkey Whizz™ by hook or by crook or by selling ur precious seed at the bank. Get the one with the fake dick. They won't be looking but if they are they'll see your fake dick. If you're really nervous get the melanated fake dick, so if they look they'll be too uncomfortable to say anything.

Otherwise, large doses of niacin (pref non-flushing kind). Dilute heavily before the test and take Certo (find out at your local grocer for 5 quid). I know it sounds retarded, especially the Certo.

But remember, I told you to just get the MonkeyWhizz™ with the fake dick.

 

[Carnivorecon]

Listen, I'm going to help u.

Get Monkey Whizz by hook or by crook or by selling ur precious seed at the bank. Get the one with the fake dick. They won't be looking but if they are they'll see your fake dick. If you're really nervous get the melanated fake dick, so if they look they'll be too uncomfortable to say anything.

Otherwise, large doses of niacin (pref non-flushing kind). Dilute heavily before the test and take Certo (find out at your local grocer for 5 quid). I know it sounds retarded, especially the Certo.

But remember, I told you to just get the MonkeyWhizz with the fake dick.

Hahahaha i know your not joking but this is the funniest chit I've read yet on AM and wtf's a melanated dick?

 

[nãomiguel]

Just really hope this helps bros protect their rights in the future. One love. (no homo) (no rasis)

https://www.seriousmonkeybizzness.com/shop/monkey-dong/

(Not affiliated in any way, only heard from me mates it never fails.)

 

[Ryno94]

Listen, I'm going to help u.

Get Monkey Whizz™ by hook or by crook or by selling ur precious seed at the bank. Get the one with the fake dick. They won't be looking but if they are they'll see your fake dick. If you're really nervous get the melanated fake dick, so if they look they'll be too uncomfortable to say anything.

Otherwise, large doses of niacin (pref non-flushing kind). Dilute heavily before the test and take Certo (find out at your local grocer for 5 quid). I know it sounds retarded, especially the Certo.

But remember, I told you to just get the MonkeyWhizz™ with the fake dick.

Thanks for that dude. But I actually have one, a whizzinator that I’ve used before but like I said they will be watching so that’s out of the question. Like I have to drop my pants and hold up my shirt before I do it. Anyways I’m gonna stick to my protocols and use my own piss. I’m already showing clean on the at home tests (I know they aren’t as accurate but I feel like if that’s showing clean I should be good to go by Monday)

 

[xR1pp3Rx]

seeing as how thc is fat soluble.. why would you try to release more.. it makes a lot more sense to eat your face off and play sloth for a few days while you pound the fek out the cranberry juice and water.

 

[blynch1]

Correct ^ trying to burn fat is just going to cause the metabolites or whatever to go into your piss more from what I’ve read. Do your cleanse and you’ll be fine

 

[Ryno94]

seeing as how thc is fat soluble.. why would you try to release more.. it makes a lot more sense to eat your face off and play sloth for a few days while you pound the fek out the cranberry juice and water.

I mean yeah.. that's true.. I was actually planning on doing that the 2 days leading up to the test but until then going balls to the wall to get as much out as I can. Then slow it down. But you do make a good point.

 

[xR1pp3Rx]

are you skinny as fek?
if not your playing with fire. I would not continue down that cardio road.

 

[Beau]

If you have a girlfriend, do a whole bunch of rigorous brown eye sex - every day - several times a day - between now and the day of the test.

It won't help, but that doesn't matter.

Report back.

 

[Ryno94]

are you skinny as fek?
if not your playing with fire. I would not continue down that cardio road.

Well I’m 6’2 185-190lbs 12ish % body fat. So yeah skinny/lean. But I think I might take your advice and cut the extra cardio. It makes a lot of sense when I think about it

 

[Ryno94]

If you have a girlfriend, do a whole bunch of rigorous brown eye sex - every day - several times a day - between now and the day of the test.

It won't help, but that doesn't matter.

Report back.

Best advice i have received thus far. Might be hard to convince my wife though lmao

 

[Beau]

Best advice i have received thus far. Might be hard to convince my wife though lmao

Tell her that it is the only way you will be able to deal with this. Tell her that you are doing this so that you can maximize the amount of time you have on Earth to spend with her, the one you love. Explain that every minute spent with her are among your most precious.

She will love you, and consider your request for anal sex as an offer of affection.

Then pound her through backdoor like a Rhesus Monkey.