My World Is Crashing Around Me

Cuffs, first off sorry to hear your going through all this and I hope things come out the way you hope.

I guess you posted looking for peoples thoughts so I will offer mine.

First remember this, Your fantastic! Really, come on how many guys do you know who stack up to you ? be it your form, job performance or your respect for others? Start looking at some of your good points. Its all to easy to focus on your faults.

Second, i think maybe you have to do the hardest thing here and turn your back on this a little. If you want her let her miss you, she isnt going to do that knowing your calling all the time.

Its sounds like she is very special and you have a great relationship but dont be closed minded to the fact that you could have that with someone else. I know you dont want to hear that and that she is the only one you want, that no one can compare to her but there were probably times you felt like that with your first wife.

There are a LOT of people on this board that listen to and respect your opinion (im one of them) so dont forget your own worth in all of this, stay confidant, stay strong, whatever happens YOU will come away a great guy.
 
I am going to be blunt here:

1. She is either cheating on you, or has had a recent "fling" and is confused.

2. Begging and pleading or arguing will only make her run further away.

3. If you want to confirm that she is cheating simply get her cell phone records from her provider, you are her husband and can either call to get them or get her online information. You can usually get the incoming/outgoing calls.



I feel for you man, I had a buddy go through this exact thing except with two kids. He didn't have much experience with women and I basically had to tell him that she was exhibiting all of the classic signs of a cheater before he realized it.

He ended up hacking her email cache and then she finally fessed up and it was over, otherwise she would have kept on with the mindfuck games and drove him insane.
 
Once again, I am very appreciative of the people of this board, and the advice being given. I'm glad this place exists so that I may say in words what I may usually keep inside.

I know what I need to do. I know the advice I would give to another who would post up a situation like mine. But like milwood has said in a post, "I don't always follow my own good advice." Or, something to that effect.

Okay...this is getting even fucked up right now. I had to leave the office to run some errands during this post. While I was out, my wife called me. We had agreed not to speak with each other until this evening, as we thought that would be best. Well, she called me during her first class break. We talked for a few mintutes and she said "I thought I'd give you a call." I said "thank you, I appreciate it." She then said "well, don't read into it." One positive thing I got out of it was, she said we would talk about everything over the weekend. I don't know. It just seems like she's playing a twisted game right now.
 
okboy63 said:
Once things settle down go to Invalid Link Removed and buy this guys stuff and read it, it is by far some of the most truthful stuff you will hear on realtionship issues and how to deal with these things in the future.(you won't hear this stuff on oprah).
The bottomline is the only way to get over a woman is with another woman. The problem is your hurt and needy at the moment(which won't make you to atractive to most women). Begging never works and no matter what women say they respond to guys who can definetly live without them. Go find another woman,take no ****,be confident.
You have to start taking steps now. Never try to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you.
Best of luck(we have all been there)
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I understand what you are saying, and I have been through it before as well. Right now, other woman don't even appeal to me, and I have no desire for a fling. A fling right now would only make things worse. Once things are over, and the final decision is made, I'll walk that road.
 
PastorofMuppets said:
I am going to be blunt here:

1. She is either cheating on you, or has had a recent "fling" and is confused.

2. Begging and pleading or arguing will only make her run further away.

3. If you want to confirm that she is cheating simply get her cell phone records from her provider, you are her husband and can either call to get them or get her online information. You can usually get the incoming/outgoing calls.
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I actually think she's smarter than using her own cell phone. In fact, she has even said something to that affect when I brought it up a while back. As far as email, ****, one can have tons of accounts that others would not know about.

My thought on #1 is, you're probably right. As much as I don't want to believe it, and as much as she tells me there's nothing, somethings got to be up.

My thoughts on #2 is, you're absolutley right. That's why I'm chilling and giving space.
 
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can change
And wisdom to know the difference between the two

This is such a cliche, but the longer I live the more it really applies to everything that goes on in my life, from family, friends, work etc etc.

We can only have control over and change ourselves. The desire to do so to or for others can be more of our problem then the problem itself.

It is hard to know when to be hard and when to be soft. It is hard to know when to listen and when to speak. It is hard to know when to fight and when to surrender. It is hard to know when to reveal and when to hide. But it is never hard to know when to love...love always!

I have been where you were, where you are, and there is always a chance I may be again. Peace be in your heart.
 
She told me she wants to make sure of our relationship, and that we just didn't "settle" for what we each have to offer one another. She said she wants to make sure she is happy further on in life....WHATEVER.
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Shouldn't she have thought of that before you got married? What the hell does that mean anyway? There is someone out there better or something?

She then said "well, don't read into it."
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I love you but I'm not in love with you.............. Half the stuff she is saying to you is the kind of things kids say in Jr. High. I am sorry but you are married and there is a kid involved, she is not in high school any more. When a relationship goes down the toilet it takes time. Usually a woman doesn't wake up one day and say I am not happy and I want a divorce. It takes a lot to get to that point so when the D word is dropped it's not a surprise by any means. When a woman cheats they usually do something like that. For example why wouldn't she just turn her cell phone off at night instead of putting it on silent? IMO she has either flipped her lid, she's cheating on you, she found out you cheated on her (which obviously isn't the case), or you werre abusing her(which obviously isn't the case either).
 
VanillaGorilla said:
IMO she has either flipped her lid
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I think this is the best explaination. I believe she is having some issues with herself right now, and she doesn't know how to deal with it.
 
B5150 said:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can change
And wisdom to know the difference between the two

This is such a cliche, but the longer I live the more it really applies to everything that goes on in my life, from family, friends, work etc etc.

We can only have control over and change ourselves. The desire to do so to or for others can be more of our problem then the problem itself.

It is hard to know when to be hard and when to be soft. It is hard to know when to listen and when to speak. It is hard to know when to fight and when to surrender. It is hard to know when to reveal and when to hide. But it is never hard to know when to love...love always!

I have been where you were, where you are, and there is always a chance I may be again. Peace be in your heart.
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:goodpost:

B5150, I have to say man, that I have seen you give some of the best advice on this board by far - be it for working out or life in general.

You're a good man and I'm sure Cuffs appreciates your words - I know I do.

BP
 
B5150 said:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can change
And wisdom to know the difference between the two

This is such a cliche, but the longer I live the more it really applies to everything that goes on in my life, from family, friends, work etc etc.

We can only have control over and change ourselves. The desire to do so to or for others can be more of our problem then the problem itself.

It is hard to know when to be hard and when to be soft. It is hard to know when to listen and when to speak. It is hard to know when to fight and when to surrender. It is hard to know when to reveal and when to hide. But it is never hard to know when to love...love always!

I have been where you were, where you are, and there is always a chance I may be again. Peace be in your heart.
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I should have commented on this when I first read it.

These words really absorbed into me. They are words that every person should know, and learn from.

I really appreciate what you have posted B5150, and I hope to become a better person having read it.
 
wranglergirl said:
Love is so great on one end but on the other so damn painful......
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Girl, don't you know it. And, thanks for your support WG. It's nice to have a female perspective on things.

For those who have never been in love. I'm talking actual LOVE. Then you are really missing out, and I hope one day you find that person who makes you feel all the great emotions love can bring. On the other hand. When it is taken away from you, nothing hurts worse.

If any of you dudes here have a wife or significant other who reads this thread, please encourage them to respond. Either under your sign on name, or theirs. I have received a lot of great advice here. I would just like to hear a woman's perspective as well.
 
2 things.

1-James007, you're an asshole for kicking a guy when he's down. Cuffs opens his heart, looking for help and reassurance and you call him a pussy. You are a class A jerk-off.

2-Cuffs, I have found mindfulness meditation very helpful for situations like this. A good one taught to me by a very kind priest was this;

On the in breath, say to yourself "Here I am Lord"
On the exhale, say to yourself "I come to do thy will".
When a thought interupts, just gently go back to focussing on the breath and the scripture. If memory serves me it is a quote from Mathew.

Do this for a set time of 5-10 minutes per day, in the morning and at night. Also use it throughout the day whenever you feel overwhelmed.

I wish you strength and clarity. Emotional pain sucks but remember that everything changes, both the positive and the negative. I find comfort in the idea that no pain, no situation, no matter how shitty, remains forever.
 
Cuffs said:
I understand what you are saying, and I have been through it before as well. Right now, other woman don't even appeal to me, and I have no desire for a fling. A fling right now would only make things worse. Once things are over, and the final decision is made, I'll walk that road.
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I'll leave it at this because this is stuff thats hard to hear right now. I wouldn't even comment on it if it didn't bother me so much to hear this stuff(since I've been there myself). Especially since you have 'nice guy' written all over you

I'm not saying have a fling. I'm saying find another realtionship/woman period. When she calls you up this weekend make sure you are on a date or at least fixing to go out. Better yet be laying in bed with a woman. Make damn sure to tell her about it when she calls.
The less you need her the more desirable you will become to her. I know it goes against the grain of logic and how guys think and the bullshit you hear from the popular media.
Get this one point(women don't think like us), they respond to masculine traits. we respond to feminine traits.
How masculine do you think think it is to sit home on the weekend and wait for a woman to call(hey but don't read anything into it if she does). She is losing respect for you the more you go along with this ****. Of course other women don't appeal to you,your madly in love with a woman who doesn't seem to be to in love with you. Not the point, go find another woman. When it's over, its war. Vanilla gorilla makes some good points as well.
If you were my blood kin brother I would say the exact same thing.
 
I understand what you are saying. And yes, I do have "nice guy" written all over me. I have never been a person who jumps from woman to woman. I pretty much a one woman man, who puts his everything into that one woman. Maybe that's a mistake on my part. I see dudes who can be with other woman at the drop of a hat, and not have a care in the world about her the next day. I'm just not like that.

I will know more of where this relationship stands after this weekend. I don't want to move on just yet, and ruin what could have been. Sure, I could find someone easily. There have been many who have voiced interest. I was just so content and comfortable with how my life was/is.

I do thank you for your advice though. I like to see different views and approaches from people. If one way was the only way, then we'd not have the many problems we face while living in this world. It would be a quick remedy, or fixall if that were the case.
 
Cuffs do you blame yourself for the marriage breakup?

She's fucking cheating on you dude. She's a whore. If you cannot stay faithful to one person you are pathetic. She should be stoned to death.

Do you think Islam allows their wives to divorce them? They can't even expose skin in public. If they thought about divorce they would be killed. It's not an option in certain cultures. You are outcast from the group if you do. That being said, in our culture it has become quite fashionable to divorce and remarry multiple times.

You should make it clear with your spouse before you get married that divorce is not an option. If there are hard times you guys will fight it out and deal with it. Life cannot always be perfect. To think so is truly idiotic.
 
James007 said:
Cuffs do you blame yourself for the marriage breakup?

She's fucking cheating on you dude. She's a whore. If you cannot stay faithful to one person you are pathetic. She should be stoned to death.

Do you think Islam allows their wives to divorce them? They can't even expose skin in public. If they thought about divorce they would be killed. It's not an option in certain cultures. You are outcast from the group if you do. That being said, in our culture it has become quite fashionable to divorce and remarry multiple times.

You should make it clear with your spouse before you get married that divorce is not an option. If there are hard times you guys will fight it out and deal with it. Life cannot always be perfect. To think so is truly stupid.
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I do blame myself in some ways for this. But I know I'm not the only one to blame. Marriage is a two way street, a partnership.

It hasn't been proven that she has cheated on me. Although it points to that direction. So, until then, my wife is not a 'whore' as you said. Now, if I find out otherwise, then yes, IMO.

We spoke before getting married that divorce would not be an option, only if one cheated. So, there lays a possible answer to all of this. She has told me this before as well. She doesn't understand why people cheat in marriages. If a person is unhappy, or wants to be with someone else, then get out of the marriage before hand. There lays another possible answer, which I have pondered. Is there someone of interest out there? If so, it's someone at her work place she just started a few months ago. I can see someone telling her the things she wants to hear, and feeling special, or that she has "still got it." Another issue is, she is fearful of turning 30. She feels like she has missed out on things I guess.

I agree that divorce has become too easy of an option in this country. I never intended on it with my first marriage, and even went back to her for a couple of years after she had cheated, trying to work things out. I never even thought it would come to this in my second marriage. It's a notion that has never even crossed my mind.
 
i hope everything works out for you Cuffs....your a great guy (if that can be determined from a message board ;) ) and i will make sure to include you in my thoughts. if you ever need anyone to talk to, PM me and we'll chat.
 
Cuffs. I don't know if anyone's mentioned this already, but jeez.. It seems pretty clear to me.. She recently started a new job.. Bang. That's it.. She's probably in the midst of meeting somebody new. I'm willing to bet $100.00 that she hasn't "done" anything yet but that she's VERY interested in somebody who's VERY interested in her. Somebody who tells her how pretty she is, and says this and does that.. Stuff that you USED to do. The grass is always greener... These are all things that even HE will not do as often one day. It's human. We all get comfortable and take one another for granted at some point or another. We just have to do our best to come around and realize what we're doing (or lack thereof).

I don't think it's too late yet.. Just give her her space but don't let her forget that you love her. Don't seem desperate, either. Chances are, she's going to go through with this breakup. If that happens, hook up with somebody right away and hope she finds out about it. She'll be worried that when she's finished with Mr. Assfucker - or when she finds out he's just a man like every other man and that he really isn't her Prince in Shining Armour, you won't be there...
 
Cuffs said:
I understand what you are saying. And yes, I do have "nice guy" written all over me. I have never been a person who jumps from woman to woman. I pretty much a one woman man, who puts his everything into that one woman. Maybe that's a mistake on my part. I see dudes who can be with other woman at the drop of a hat, and not have a care in the world about her the next day. I'm just not like that.

I will know more of where this relationship stands after this weekend. I don't want to move on just yet, and ruin what could have been. Sure, I could find someone easily. There have been many who have voiced interest. I was just so content and comfortable with how my life was/is.

I do thank you for your advice though. I like to see different views and approaches from people. If one way was the only way, then we'd not have the many problems we face while living in this world. It would be a quick remedy, or fixall if that were the case.
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Unforunately there is only one way with women. Pick one that loves you more than you love her and keep it that way. Otherwise PAIN.
I'm done.
I hope things workout for the best
 
Do you think Islam allows their wives to divorce them? They can't even expose skin in public. If they thought about divorce they would be killed. It's not an option in certain cultures. You are outcast from the group if you do. That being said, in our culture it has become quite fashionable to divorce and remarry multiple times.
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While I agree with your premise that divorce is too easy and this country has turned into a virtual cesspool of quick fixism and self centeredness (i.e I am not happy in this movement so I want a divorce) what are you suggesting here? Yes in Islam they can kill their wives with out any repercussions....... are you suggesting he kill his wife?He is going threw a tough time .....there is no need to post in the manner that your have been, insult him, or kick him when he is down.
 
Also. Don't forget that when one door closes, another one opens.. I lived with my ex for 6 years. She was 16 and I was 18 when we moved in together. She was this hot rocker girl who looked like she came out of a Bon Jovi video. She was cool as hell and into freaky things.. And she was bisexual.. It was a riot. That relationship ended when I moved out. I regretted it and wanted to get back IN but it was too late.

Well, if I was still with her, I'd be a data entry clerk today like I was back then. Or maybe I would have been promoted to something ridiculous like supervisor of the data entry clerks.. Instead, I now work from home (moved to West Palm Beach) for Nasa, Amex and run my own business AND have a hot, cool wife 8 years younger than me. This would have never happened had I stayed with my ex. I'd be a 33 year old loser bearly making ends meet..

Things happen for a reason. If this doesn't work out the way you hope it does - that doesn't mean you necessarily got the short end of the stick. You never know what might happen when you're open for opportunities...
 
Have you thought about going to therapy for yourself? It may help you to really talk with someone about your marriage.

Just remember to keep your cool, when you blow up it has only made things worse so try and remember this-forever.

If she really wants to leave you can't stop her, but make sure she knows how you truly feel.

As for cheating it sounds plausible considering the recent personality change. Then again, it could just be the stress from her job and insecurities about yall's marriage.

Whatever happens, know that you have plenty of good guys on the board to talk to and I sincerly hope that you two can resolve your differences.
 
Zero Tolerance said:
Cuffs. I don't know if anyone's mentioned this already, but jeez.. It seems pretty clear to me.. She recently started a new job.. Bang. That's it.. She's probably in the midst of meeting somebody new. I'm willing to bet $100.00 that she hasn't "done" anything yet but that she's VERY interested in somebody who's VERY interested in her. Somebody who tells her how pretty she is, and says this and does that.. Stuff that you USED to do. The grass is always greener... These are all things that even HE will not do as often one day. It's human. We all get comfortable and take one another for granted at some point or another. We just have to do our best to come around and realize what we're doing (or lack thereof).

I don't think it's too late yet.. Just give her her space but don't let her forget that you love her. Don't seem desperate, either. Chances are, she's going to go through with this breakup. If that happens, hook up with somebody right away and hope she finds out about it. She'll be worried that when she's finished with Mr. Assfucker - or when she finds out he's just a man like every other man and that he really isn't her Prince in Shining Armour, you won't be there...
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amen to this.
 
Hang in there and keep listening. Whatever the outcome, life will continue. Just hopefully together if possible. All our support Bud.
 
Cuffs said:
I do blame myself in some ways for this. But I know I'm not the only one to blame. Marriage is a two way street, a partnership.

It hasn't been proven that she has cheated on me. Although it points to that direction. So, until then, my wife is not a 'whore' as you said. Now, if I find out otherwise, then yes, IMO.

We spoke before getting married that divorce would not be an option, only if one cheated. So, there lays a possible answer to all of this. She has told me this before as well. She doesn't understand why people cheat in marriages. If a person is unhappy, or wants to be with someone else, then get out of the marriage before hand. There lays another possible answer, which I have pondered. Is there someone of interest out there? If so, it's someone at her work place she just started a few months ago. I can see someone telling her the things she wants to hear, and feeling special, or that she has "still got it." Another issue is, she is fearful of turning 30. She feels like she has missed out on things I guess.

I agree that divorce has become too easy of an option in this country. I never intended on it with my first marriage, and even went back to her for a couple of years after she had cheated, trying to work things out. I never even thought it would come to this in my second marriage. It's a notion that has never even crossed my mind.
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Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

I don't know what you're talking about. "Only if one cheats?" What the **** does that mean? You cannot say divorce is not an option and then say "only if someone cheats." That's bullshit and you know it.

I think your problem is that you're too lenient with her. She should be ashamed of herself for saying those things to you. She disrespected you greatly. This is your second marriage and divorce. Do you think things will change?

You have to change the way you think about the world and our culture. Going back to a women after she cheated on you? The only reason to go back and see her would be to make things right, in a non diplomatic way.

STOP LETTING WOMEN RUN YOU OVER. YOU'RE A MAN.
 
James, James, James...it's nice to see that you care...in your own "special" way :D

But, Cuffs, she is being very unreasonable and unfair to you. James is right on that one. She made a life-long commitment and at the very minimum she owes it to you to "try" and work it out and not just disappear physically and emotionally.

I think your suspicions are right. She may not have "physically" cheated yet, but I'm sure emotionally and mentally she has. Between the new job, the locked phone, and the resorting to likening unlocking the phone to mental abuse this is a very desparate and immature move on her end.

You're probably right to suspect she feels like she's missed out on life. You've been with her almost her entire adult life, and thanks to Hollywood and all of those hippies, the people of today have illogical ideas about what life is/should be like and what you should accomplish, what you "could have" done had you not jumped headfirst into life, etc.

Go out, get a beer...hit the bars with some buddies and see what she has to say.

Cuffs: "Okay, well, while you figure out what the hell you're going to do with 'our lives', I'm going out with the buddies because frankly I've put my heart on a platter for you, it's all out there, and you're leaving me out to dry. So, I'm done sitting around. I can't mope all day every day. Bye" <-- That easy ;) have a beer, hit the gym, track down her co-workers and kick some ass....(oops, did I include that? :D)
 
I can see where you're coming from James. The reason I went back in my first marriage was becasue of our 1 year old son. I wanted to make it work for him. I later realized this was a mistake. Children can see right through a facade covering an unhappy marriage.

I should have explained it a little better about the divorce if someone cheats deal. We talked about this before we got married during a general conversation.

As for being too lenient. I probably have been. I have, up until a few weeks ago, have trusted her unconditionally. I wouldn't question where she has been, or who she was with, and encouraged her to go do things with friends when I was unable to go. I think she is scared right now, and feels trapped, tied down. I don't know.
 
When man gave women too much freedom the world started turning to ****. More specifically, when man gave up all his power the world went to ****. We controlled the world. We conquered the world.

That is when all this PC bullshit crept up onto us. All these rights. Gay rights, womens rights, affirmative action, animal rights. WTF! You cannot compare animals to humans! We let this crawl up and now it's biting us in the ass.

The only purpose of a female is to give birth, take care of the children and support her husband.
 
Of course you want to do what is best for your child. You should have full custody. She cheated on you. She is irresponsible. The answer is not going back to her, the answer it to raise your child alone. Raise him to respect you. Do not let him get out of control. Once you're too lenient things start to bite you in the ass.
 
James007 said:
When man gave women too much freedom the world started turning to ****. More specifically, when man gave up all his power the world went to ****. We controlled the world. We conquered the world.

That is when all this PC bullshit crept up onto us. All these rights. Gay rights, womens rights, affirmative action, animal rights. WTF! You cannot compare animals to humans! We let this crawl up and now it's biting us in the ass.

The only purpose of a female is to give birth, take care of the children and support her husband.
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:blink:

Not to say you're right, or wrong here. I personally don't agree with your view on this. However, like it says in my sig., opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Not that I'm calling you and AH, either. Without different opinions on issues, the world would be a very boring place.
 
James007 said:
Of course you want to do what is best for your child. You should have full custody. She cheated on you. She is irresponsible. The answer is not going back to her, the answer it to raise your child alone. Raise him to respect you. Do not let him get out of control. Once you're too lenient things start to bite you in the ass.
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My child is from my first marriage, and I already have custody. My second wife has no say in the matter. I just need to do what's best for him as well. Whether it's being with me, or going to his mother's to stay. I will always be in his life.
 
cuffs, I didn't read this whole thread, but I hope you get through this and I wish you the best of luck w/ whatever ya do homes...

IMO there are still A LOT of good people out there and nice women (my mom :) ) out there to shack up with and spend the rest of oyur lives with no doubt. But more and more marriage to me just doesn't mean anything to most people anymore.

since graduating from HS, I've been in or been at 16 different "young people" weddings for my friends...guess how many of those couples are still together? 4, yep, thats it and 2 of them actually just got married within the last year.

Sometimes people just get married for the wrong reasons...??
 
lifted said:
Sometimes people just get married for the wrong reasons...??
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I have to agree with you on this. My wife even said this to me. I just wish she would have made sure prior to. There's more to the whole deal if the split happens. The property and finacial part is going to be Hell. Not that we would fight over it, but we have loans out in both names all over. It's going to be a long road, but I'm going to make the best of it. I'm all for an amicable split/divorce if that's what she decides she needs to do. No need to get dirty and ugly. It doesn't help in the long run. As one coworker said to me "cool heads prevail, just keep your cool, keep your composure through this."
 
Cuffs said:
My child is from my first marriage, and I already have custody. My second wife has no say in the matter. I just need to do what's best for him as well. Whether it's being with me, or going to his mother's to stay. I will always be in his life.
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I was talking about your first wife. You meantioned your child might be taken 6 hours away or something if i remember correctly.
 
And don't get me wrong, finances and material possessions mean nothing to me. I would give it all up in a heart beat for her. I'm just glad I didn't do what she wanted me to do a while back. She wanted me to quit my job, and go back to school to get my teaching credential like I've always wanted. That would have been fucked. No job, school loan, no wife, no income. I'm glad that didn't happen.
 
yep, just be civil w/ one another.....things will go A LOT smoother this way. Like I said before, I've had to help 4-5 friends of mine move out or help out with their decsions, kinda scary....but the ones that kept their cool and acted respectively w/ one another made a LOT more progress than the ones that didn't. ;)
 
James007 said:
I was talking about your first wife. You meantioned your child might be taken 6 hours away or something if i remember correctly.
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Yes, I did mention that. Not that he would be taken, but if I have to room with someone for a while before getting back on my feet, I want it to be fair for him as well. I want him to have a stable environment to be in. Not moved around.
 
Also, ( imay have missed it) but is there any chance that she isn't on the same level as you are with your job? I know of a lot of guys that are cops and their wives absolultey hate it due to their safety...some have even left them due to not being able to be sure that they're gonna come home in one piece every night... just an idea??
 
There are a few points that I want to share that may reflect a different view than some have been very generous in expressing.

There is a significant difference between submission to a husband out of respect and out of fear. Domination, intimidation will get an animal to submit to it's keeper out of fear.

We are not our wife's keeper but rather their companions and co-habitants. We are joined together as one flesh before God. We are to love them as ourselves and to serve them as a leader in the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of our marriage. A man of dignity, healthy self-esteem, and respect will earn and be worthy of his wife's submission. She will give it freely and completely because he is worthy. It is a joy and a pleasure for her to submit to her husband.

A chauvinist and narcissist is a taker and a keeper. In his mind she is his property to do with as he pleases. She is to be subservient and submisive because it is enforced with fear, domination and humiliation. She 'demonstrate' submission to assure the comfort and privilege that the 'keeper' allows her. She is in bondage to her husband rather than a companion or co-habitant. She will give it out of obligation because she is required to and fears consequence. She finds little to no joy in submitting to her husband.

It is biblically accurate when one suggests that divorce is an option in the case of infidelity: Matt 19:3-9
 
B5150 said:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can change
And wisdom to know the difference between the two
Click to expand...


I like my version a whole lot better.

Cuffs, you need to protect yourself here first and foremost. This has very bad ending written all over it. Expect the worst, hope for the best. Do not call her anymore period. Let her work this out. You need to be preparing for life after this.
 
B5150 said:
There are a few points that I want to share that may reflect a different view than some have been very generous in expressing.

There is a significant difference between submission to a husband out of respect and out of fear. Domination, intimidation will get an animal to submit to it's keeper out of fear.

We are not our wife's keeper but rather their companions and co-habitants. We are joined together as one flesh before God. We are to love them as ourselves and to serve them as a leader in the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of our marriage. A man of dignity, healthy self-esteem, and respect will earn and be worthy of his wife's submission. She will give it freely and completely because he is worthy. It is a joy and a pleasure for her to submit to her husband.

A chauvinist and narcissist is a taker and a keeper. In his mind she is his property to do with as he pleases. She is to be subservient and submisive because it is enforced with fear, domination and humiliation. She 'demonstrate' submission to assure the comfort and privilege that the 'keeper' allows her. She is in bondage to her husband rather than a companion or co-habitant. She will give it out of obligation because she is required to and fears consequence. She finds little to no joy in submitting to her husband.

It is biblically accurate when one suggests that divorce is an option in the case of infidelity: Matt 19:3-9
Click to expand...
:goodpost:
 
James007 said:
When man gave women too much freedom the world started turning to ****. More specifically, when man gave up all his power the world went to ****. We controlled the world. We conquered the world.

That is when all this PC bullshit crept up onto us. All these rights. Gay rights, womens rights, affirmative action, animal rights. WTF! You cannot compare animals to humans! We let this crawl up and now it's biting us in the ass.

The only purpose of a female is to give birth, take care of the children and support her husband.
Click to expand...

wow you are a fucking jackass ... comments like that make me want to fucking vomit .. as far as i'm concerned i'd be MORE THAN ESTATIC if you never came back to this board you ignorant asshole

how insecure are you that you need to make statements that the only "purpose" of a female is to birth, rear children, and support her man? seriously did mommy smack you around as a kid or something?

you must have some SERIOUS and DEEP psychological issues to harbor such angst and hatred towards females

and then to say gay rights etc. are bad things goes even further to show what a jackass you truly are

it must be terrible going through life so angry, miserable, and full of unwarranted hatred
 
glenihan said:
wow you are a fucking jackass ... comments like that make me want to fucking vomit .. as far as i'm concerned i'd be MORE THAN ESTATIC if you never came back to this board you ignorant asshole

how insecure are you that you need to make statements that the only "purpose" of a female is to birth, rear children, and support her man? seriously did mommy smack you around as a kid or something?

you must have some SERIOUS and DEEP psychological issues to harbor such angst and hatred towards females

and then to say gay rights etc. are bad things goes even further to show what a jackass you truly are

it must be terrible going through life so angry, miserable, and full of unwarranted hatred
Click to expand...
Shut up you fucking retard. Go fucking show off your physique somewhere else. Do you crave attention?

Gay rights are horrible! If you dont think so you're braindead. You're exactly the reason society is twisted.
 
Please, for the sakes of this thread don't get into argument with anybody else, you expressed your opinion, so please just stop.
 
lifted said:
Also, ( imay have missed it) but is there any chance that she isn't on the same level as you are with your job? I know of a lot of guys that are cops and their wives absolultey hate it due to their safety...some have even left them due to not being able to be sure that they're gonna come home in one piece every night... just an idea??
Click to expand...
No, that's not an issue. She was a police dispatcher for 8 years. That's how I first met her. She has never had any concerns that she has voiced to me. And believe me, I have asked. She is now a nurse in a prison. It's her job that worries me at times. She has to be in rooms with rapists and molesters by herself at times. One sick bastard wrote her a 21 page love letter. Turned out he was doing life for his second murder and was part of a black gorilla mafia. The dude was like 7'-00" tall, and a solid 300 pounds.
 
Let me help you. Write her name on a piece of paper right under your first wifes name and cross them both out. Who gives a **** about these whores today in society? They have no class or respect for anything.
 
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