How much is too much?

[fame126]

So im curious? How many times per week do you have sex? Im married with two boys 8 and 4. I cant seem to get my wife to have sex more than twice a week. Anyone else have this problem?

 

[tnubs]

i know what u mean, some girls just dont have the same level of libido as us men. as far as what u can do? thats a good question!

 

[bigdavid]

Gotta slip in some libido boosters in her drinks lol just kidding. I imagine after having two kids and being married the sex decreases over time? I have no idea I'm only 21.

 

[fame126]

Ya i suggest u wait as long as humanly possible to get married cause once u do, the sex takes a steep drop. I still dont quite understand because we are both very fit people with a good diet.... $hit i cant even get a hand job!!

 

[prld2gr8ns]

I would say at least 3-4 times a week. I'm a firm believer that the key to any good relationship lies a lot in sex. If you do it a lot it really cuts down on most of the other problems people typical have. And hey, even after being with someone for a long time, it's always nice to know they or you are still THAT into one another. Everyday would be nice, but life doesn't always allow that. Given your current situation with 2 boys and all, twice a week is actually pretty good. I have a friend that has twins and an older boy and they haven't had sex in 18months, since the twins were born. Consider yourself lucky lol.

 

[BPjohn123]

Agreed your doing ok, I'm married with a 20 month old, for the first few months After my son was born it was very scarce, women get body issues and lose self confidence. Now things are good again, about 4-5 times a week. Nothing like before marriage, when we couldn't make it 12 hours..haha...but I'll take it for sure.

 

[B5150]

Ya i suggest u wait as long as humanly possible to get married cause once u do, the sex takes a steep drop. I still dont quite understand because we are both very fit people with a good diet.... $hit i cant even get a hand job!!

I would imagine that she would be able to point out a few things that have changed about you since you got married.

These are common married life predicaments. Marriage changes both of you. She is not the only one who has changed.

You may want to ask her (or yourself) why she wanted to have sex so frequently before you got married. Is the environment and atmosphere still conducive to the activities you used to enjoy.

Marriage is not a happily ever after secure piece of ass. It is actually a LOT of work when done correctly. Children do not bring couples closer together and are often a wedge between them and their previous priorities.

Women (mothers - not girls) have other things on their mind most all of the time. Their core identity and desire is not the same as ours.

One last thing to consider that may be the toughest thing - we, as men, are not "all that", in so much as when we arrive they should simply want to bang us...although we may believe otherwise.

 

[B5150]

I would say at least 3-4 times a week. I'm a firm believer that the key to any good relationship lies a lot in sex. If you do it a lot it really cuts down on most of the other problems people typical have. And hey, even after being with someone for a long time, it's always nice to know they or you are still THAT into one another. Everyday would be nice, but life doesn't always allow that. Given your current situation with 2 boys and all, twice a week is actually pretty good. I have a friend that has twins and an older boy and they haven't had sex in 18months, since the twins were born. Consider yourself lucky lol.

I have also found, now that I am a grown-up, that sex and pussey are not the only things there are to share as couples. There is a lot of life to live and sex becomes less important, and life, relationship, family and responsibility take a priority. By no means does it diminish it's value.

Great sex rarely makes a marriage great but a great marriage often makes sex great.

 

[fame126]

David dunn i feel like i should pay you for this session lol. All jokes aside i never really looked at how i have changed maybe i can start there. I just wish i didnt want it all the damn time!!!

 

[JerseyDrew77]

Slip her some roofies whenever you want to have sex. Works everytime for me and I am married with a 3 year old son. J/K... No, but really slip her some.

 

[prld2gr8ns]

Great sex rarely makes a marriage great but a great marriage often makes sex great.

They are connected like that for sure. A great quote I've always heard was " The key to a successful marriage is to have sex a lot." Now that may seem one sided and what not but if you think about it, having a lot of sex is usually indicative of a great marriage and a great marriage is usually indicative to having a lot of sex(all person dependent of course). I see where they both apply.

 

[nemo]

Sometimes my wife and I have sex 4 times a week, then won't have sex for a week. At this stage of the game there are other factors that mean so much. Such as hugging, affection, good conversation,..what I mean is it's so much more than just sex. But I find the sex is secondary to a great relationship, not vice versa. By the way, I'm 40 years old!

 

[Blergs]

So im curious? How many times per week do you have sex? Im married with two boys 8 and 4. I cant seem to get my wife to have sex more than twice a week. Anyone else have this problem?

too much? i guess when it hurts to piss lol,

2 times a week you should be happy ill say that.... lol
id **** every day 2-3 times a day most days if she was up to it. im happy with a couple to a few times a week. **** even just one if its a ruff month

 

[Blergs]

I would say at least 3-4 times a week. I'm a firm believer that the key to any good relationship lies a lot in sex. If you do it a lot it really cuts down on most of the other problems people typical have. And hey, even after being with someone for a long time, it's always nice to know they or you are still THAT into one another. Everyday would be nice, but life doesn't always allow that. Given your current situation with 2 boys and all, twice a week is actually pretty good. I have a friend that has twins and an older boy and they haven't had sex in 18months, since the twins were born. Consider yourself lucky lol.

this! lol

 

[fame126]

gonna be a long road because i start taking erase today. what am i to do lol

 

[prld2gr8ns]

gonna be a long road because i start taking erase today. what am i to do lol

Google "Flesh Light" and save your marriage.

 

[fame126]

Google "Flesh Light" and save your marriage.

For that price ill get a hooker lol

 

[prld2gr8ns]

For that price ill get a hooker lol

but you can rinse and repeat.....

 

[fame126]

but you can rinse and repeat.....

Ahhh yes excellent point!!

 

[fame126]

Thats considered illegal contraband in my house i know for sure i would be in trouble if she found it

 

[prld2gr8ns]

Not as much trouble as if she found your hooker

 

[farmtireguy]

Not as much trouble as if she found your hooker

Lol true

 

[Docmattic]

I really like the point about asking how you your self have changed. I brought a similar topic up with my girlfriend (of 5 years) and said, 'i know we are together all the time, but i feel like you're not that into me any more (sexually), you've barley looked at me in two months.' She said to me "I've been feeling the same way-its not like you go out of your way to make me feel special any more.'' I thought about it and it was kinda true. Shes gotta feel special too, and she doesn't associate feeling special with sex. Its a two way road.

 

[B5150]

"Two thousand years ago, a simple fisherman who had spent 3 years with Jesus Christ, made a profound statement to men. It’s a very simple statement. You know, he was kind of the First Century John Gray – Men are From Mars; Women are From Venus. His name was the Apostle Peter and he made this statement. I want you to look at it. It’s a key verse in Scripture. 1 Peter 3:7. I want you to look at it, because it’s profound in its implications. He says,

“You husbands, likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel (that is, she’s not physically as strong as you are), since she is
a woman.”

Now let’s just stop right there, before we go any further. “You husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.” The Greek word there is literally ‘according to knowledge.’ You need information. Don’t guess at it! Load up with skill and info because she’s a woman! Do you get it? She’s not a man! And you need to live with her in that understanding way and you need to grant her honor as a fellow heir in the grace of life. And if you don’t, it not only inhibits your relationship with her, it will inhibit your relationship with God. Your prayers will be hindered.

I want to draw 3 phrases out of that verse and make a few observations here at the beginning, because I believe it’s so important.

1. First of all, on your outline, look there at the phrase “in an understanding way” in that verse. That speaks to insight and skill. It was nice for Bill to call Mark Kuharsky from Poland up here today, because a woman – if you’ve ever been to a foreign country, and I’ve been to Mark’s country of Poland. If you’ve ever been to a foreign country, one of the most unnerving things about being in a foreign country is you don’t speak the language. So it creates all kinds of complications and it requires for you to master certain amounts of basic language skills –or at least some working knowledge of the language to work your way around, so you can interface with somebody from a foreign country. Did you know – for some of you guys today – you’re going to go home and walk in to a house with a foreigner? And for some of you young guys, you’re going to call up a foreigner and invite her out?

You’re going to think that you speak the language and it will be the greatest mistake of your life. You don’t speak the language. To do that – to approach somebody of the opposite sex and try to engage them, thinking you know what you’re doing – is the greatest mistake a man can make. Peter told us; “live with your wives in an understanding way’ i. e., according to knowledge. That means you’ve got to learn “woman-speak”, you’ve got to learn what women feel, you’ve got to learn what women need and it’s all different than you – so it’s totally disorienting. Then you’ve got to address them outside what you’re thinking into what they’re thinking, and you have to interpret as you go. That’s why it’s a skill to live with a woman in an understanding way. That’s why it requires that you have insight and the skill – not guesswork. You can’t do it by accident. You can’t do it by instinct, because your instinct will be wrong.

I remember when I was just married. Our very first Christmas, I was thinking about what I could buy my wife for Christmas. I went out and signed her up for a 24-month membership to a health club. So here it is Christmas and we’re opening gifts. She opens up this thing and it says 24-month membership to a health club. She started to cry. I thought it was such a great gift. I mean, I was just a young 21-year old and I thought that was such a good gift. Why did I think it was a good gift? Because I wanted to belong to the health club, so I gave her what I like! You know what she thought? She thought ‘I’m fat.’ So that’s what I experienced. I made 24 payments to that health club and she never went one time.

That was the beginning of my journey. I didn’t know what I was doing. Now, here we are -- 32 years in the marriage – and I have a whole different skill set. When Valentine’s Day rolled around the other day, I’ve already learned don’t go at the last minute. I went days before, bought my card and then I went and took about 30 minutes and went into a fast food place and got me a little drink, sat down and opened that card and I sat there and thought ‘what are the things I can tell my wife that she needs to hear that’s not natural for me to say?’ That’s the question I’ve learned to ask myself! After a while – and it takes me a while for my computer to boot up - but then, I begin to think ‘man, she really means this to me; and she means that to me’ and I begin to write it all down. So I filled up the whole card.

Now, that’s totally different than going out at the last minute and buying a little card – a woman will still appreciate it. She opens it up; it’s got a little nice thing that you picked out and it’s got “Love, Robert.” That means something to her. But if she opens up the card and the whole left side is filled out with ‘…this is what you mean to me; this is what you’ve done for me; these are the things I could never live without’ and the comments are specific and to the point. Now that’s a skill. That has tremendous benefits in the relationship.

It’s the same when you’re coming home at the end of the day. You walk in and she’s fixed a nice dinner for you, or whatever. In the old days, to me dinner was dinner and then I’d watch TV. But then the message of too many evenings like that is that ‘she is an employee of the little company called the Lewis Family.’ And that has a different payback.

On the other hand, with skill and knowledge you understand that she’s an equal; she’s a soul mate, so you walk in and say ‘how can I help you?’ or ‘let me clean up after dinner’ or whatever. Do you see, that’s engaging a woman with skill and knowledge. That’s what the Apostle Peter is telling us right here from the beginning. “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.” That speaks to insight and skill.

2. Secondly, ‘grant her honor’ – that speaks to appreciation and value. You know, the whole woman’s movement is based on one giant cry ‘do you value us?’ It’s the wise man who will speak into that every day with things that women value. They want to know that they’re valued; that they’re significant. The number one need of a woman is to know that she’s significant. If you’ll remember that, then that will lead you to walk up to her everyday, put your arm around her and look into her eyes and say, ‘Honey, I love you.’ Because when you say “I love you” she knows that’s not easy for you. The fact that you would take the time to do that says, ‘that means I’m valued.’ For you to do the little extras, like I mentioned – writing on a card, rather than just signing a card – doing something extravagant from time to time that just totally surprises her. All those things speak into what a woman is desperately wanting to know, and that is ‘I’m valued’.

For you young guys to call a woman up for date, rather than have her call you – says that you value her. For you to open the door for her says that you value her. For you to say “I want to take care of you” says that you value her. Those are the things that have to be repeated over and over again because she can never get enough of it. Just like you can never get enough admiration for your accomplishments – a woman can never get enough appreciation for her value. Peter knows that. He’s the John Gray of the First Century, and he says you need to speak to her value.

3. Finally, notice the word ‘fellow heir.’ That speaks to equality and worth. It says that she’s a co-heir in the grace of life. That means she’s equal. She may be different, but in God’s eyes, she’s equal. You know, when women don’t feel equal, then they feel like that they have to be the same as men. And that’s a tragedy because then they lose their greatest createdness and that is that they are female, and we don’t want them to look like men and act like men. We want them to be the woman.

We want the counterpart, and we want to do the kinds of things that encourage that femininity while at the same time allowing that femininity to be fully free and equal in our eyes. When they see that equality and the way we handle money with them, or the way we care for them; the way we share things with them on an equal basis, it tells them that they are equal in very practical terms. She may be different, but it’s our role to make her feel of equal worth in a relationship.

Peter says those three things to us right at the outset, ‘Guys, listen, she’s a woman; she’s not like you. She’s not a man. You’re going to have to learn “woman-speak”. You’re going to have to learn that skill. Live with your wives in an understanding way . You can’t get enough information about women. You younger guys – the more you know about women, the more you can speak when you are in that foreign land, and win.

 

[farmtireguy]

Very true.

 

[gymrat827]

every night, but im 27, no kids, no house, etc. Just a been with her 4 2.5yrs. If no sex, head for sure. I need something, and if we miss a day I make sure to make up for it the following one.


I did have to stress how important sex is to me, I make it emotional (all BS), etc. so she believes its more than just getting my dick off.

 

[HondaV65]

Transactional sex my friend ...

http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/housewife-harlotry/

^^That website is Maggie McNeil ... a retired call girl and stripper. It's not a fapping site and is mostly safe for work - she's a pretty deep thinker and she talks a lot about the relationships between men and women. Most of her blog though is about how stupid prostitution laws are and how hookers are persecuted.

My advice to you is this ...

And, I really don't even know how to articulate this but I'll try ...

Look, your wife knows enough about men to know that she can reward you for anything positive that you do by offering you sex. She knows she doesn't have to buy you a present for your birthday - she can just offer you some interesting sex, something different for the occasion that you'll remember - and you're good to go. She knows this. She'll still buy you a present though, because that keeps her from having to get too creative on the sex.

Okay - so she knows this ... you want a reward a dog - you give the dog a treat. You want to reward a husband - you give him some sex.

The thing is ... you need to do some things that make her want to REWARD you.

Now, most of the time ... Mrs. Honda and I simply "do it" because we love each other. And that gets me to twice per week actually - with no effort on my part.

If I want more than that, then I need to go "transactional" ... I give her something she wants - and know she'll reward me with some leg. Like ... most guys will see a laundry room full of dirty clothes and think "Holy ****! When will my wife do the damn laundry??"

But see ... I don't see the dirty laundry at all. What I SEE - is an opportunity to get Mrs. Honda upstairs for some wet and sloppy fun. If I clean that laundry and fold those clothes - Mrs. Honda goes ...

"Damn, that's about an hour of work I don't have to do - I sure hope he does this more often! How can I, as his wife - positively reinforce this behavior in him?"
Dawg - meet TREAT!

What? You think that makes me a "Beta Male" for doing laundry? **** dude - I would risk my life and ply through six 300 pound Samoans if I knew Mrs. Honda was on the other side of them wearing her Victoria Secrets! Laundry? That's nothing.

It's not just laundry - but you get the picture. Apply it to anything really - dishes, she wants some tiles laid ... like I told Mrs. Honda recently ... "I'll lay those tiles if you lay the pipe".

Not all wives are as good as Mrs. Honda though - I'll admit. Some wives are real bitches and seem to think that sex is for making babies only. Those marriages don't last long.

In fact ... there was a study that recently came out which proves that marriages are more likely to survive if the husband is satisfied sexually. That was the NUMBER ONE factor - BAR ANY OTHER. Girls - pay attention to Professor Honda here. Don't believe me? Well, you can google for that study.

 

[B5150]

I don't know about everyone else but I know I am always very inspired to follow advice that equates me emotionally and intellectually to a dog.

Makes me want to chase my tail and lick my balls.

 

[prld2gr8ns]

Makes me want to chase my tail and lick my balls.

If only!!! Then this whole thread would just be redundant.

 

[fame126]

Once again stole the words outta my mouth ( if i would i could)

 

[HondaV65]

I don't know about everyone else but I know I am always very inspired to follow advice that equates me emotionally and intellectually to a dog.

Makes me want to chase my tail and lick my balls.

Maybe you're one of the guys then that needs a woman to seduce him. For me - all she has to do is show up and be willing!

Just a smile is all I need - I got the rest.

Everything humans do is for a reward - just like that dog. Name something that any of us does where we don't expect a reward?

 

[prld2gr8ns]

Maybe you're one of the guys then that needs a woman to seduce him. For me - all she has to do is show up and be willing!

Just a smile is all I need - I got the rest.

Everything humans do is for a reward - just like that dog. Name something that any of us does where we don't expect a reward?

Help out a stranger? Guess that's why you see less and less of that these days. Plus it scares people for some reason.

 

[rugger48]

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