How do you know about things in life?

ChocolateClen

ChocolateClen

Well-known member
For example, how do you know if you belong in college? How do you know that you'll find the right girl? Etc.

Been thinking a lot, probably too much, and I'm starting to feel like college wasn't the right choice for me. Obviously I'm going to stay since I'm already balls deep, but now idk how I want to go about life. Can't get the navy seals out of my mind even with my shoulder in a ****ing sling and me having not worked out for 5 months.

Then there's the women, I'll see a woman for a few months and then I always, with out a fault, end up getting tired of being around her/with her. So how do you know when they are the right one cause I feel like I'm gonna be single my whole life here.

How do you know what you're supposed to do? Like I talk to friend and even my biological wireing isn't the same as theirs. When I'm stressed out I'm calm and collected and everyone else just seems to go crazy. When I take a test that I'm not doing good on I get really antsy and I move a lot, like I can't sit still. I don't even feel like on a biological level I'm wired for school... but idk what else to do.
 
At an early age you do not. I have saying, You make a decision and a few years go by before you realize it was a good decision or not. So just live life. If you truly want the answer then create either a Ben Franklin close or Nash decision tree for every important decision in life. However, you do not have the necessary life experiences to complete the exercise properly. That comes with actual experience. Hence why wisdom is a hallmark of the older generation. Having lived it and having hopefully a massive database of experience and knowledge, one can divine outcomes.
 
ChocolateClen said:
For example, how do you know if you belong in college? How do you know that you'll find the right girl? Etc.

Been thinking a lot, probably too much, and I'm starting to feel like college wasn't the right choice for me. Obviously I'm going to stay since I'm already balls deep, but now idk how I want to go about life. Can't get the navy seals out of my mind even with my shoulder in a ****ing sling and me having not worked out for 5 months.

Then there's the women, I'll see a woman for a few months and then I always, with out a fault, end up getting tired of being around her/with her. So how do you know when they are the right one cause I feel like I'm gonna be single my whole life here.

How do you know what you're supposed to do? Like I talk to friend and even my biological wireing isn't the same as theirs. When I'm stressed out I'm calm and collected and everyone else just seems to go crazy. When I take a test that I'm not doing good on I get really antsy and I move a lot, like I can't sit still. I don't even feel like on a biological level I'm wired for school... but idk what else to do.
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Life just does not work that way...sure would be much easier if it did! One thing you can count on in life is unpredictability. The more you can accept that...the happier and more successful you will be. Personal relationships and professional opportunities will present themselves in ways you simply can't predict.
 
You answered your own questions. You're regretting college, and you can't stop thinking about the thing you can't have (SEALS, women, whatever). Do you want the brutally honest opinion of a 53 year old man?
 
I have no clue what I'm doing in life. I work two jobs, go to school, and try to make it to the gym 3-4 times a week. At 35, I'm still going with the flow. When I was in my 20's, I was chasing the American dream; the house, the cars, the corporate job. I thought it would make me happy. I got all of that and was still miserable. Follow your dreams, follow what you're passionate about. Do something that you desire. No regrets....
 
ChocolateClen said:
Honestly yeah lol
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Grow the fck up. You're in college, which many wish they could do, but now you don't want to be anymore. I'm assuming you have enough money to survive without having to work two jobs. You're able to attract women (so I guess you're not ugly), but then when you get one you automatically don't want her any more. If you don't think you're cut out for college, quit. Nobody said you have to go to college. Get a job, let your shoulder heal, join the military. Experience some real life for a change.
 
SFreed said:
Grow the fck up. You're in college, which many wish they could do, but now you don't want to be anymore. I'm assuming you have enough money to survive without having to work two jobs. You're able to attract women (so I guess you're not ugly), but then when you get one you automatically don't want her any more. If you don't think you're cut out for college, quit. Nobody said you have to go to college. Get a job, let your shoulder heal, join the military. Experience some real life for a change.
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Honestly yeah I'm trying to grow up just trying to not waste my time. College was kinda forced on me tho by friends family etc. wish I had money tho, I work already probably gonna work another job just to pay down debt and **** like that. But yeah I get what your saying, just don't wanna waste more time than I have too growing up. ****in hate wasting time. Guess my real question is how do you know when you're not wasting your ****ig time? Already balls deep in college so I might as well finish but I want to have my **** figured out before I leave so I don't *****foot around trying to figure **** out after words.
 
Other thing is that idk **** compared to you all, I mean I'm ****ing 21, some of you have double and triple my age so you know a hell of a lot more than me. Trying to figure out what everyone else did to find themselves cause maybe it'll help me out as well.
 
Like it was said before, you won't always know until later...Although school sucks, are you pursuing an education for a career that interests you? I got pregnant at 17, married at 18, bought a house at 19, but didn't go to college until 21...I worked a job in the general field I was wanting to go to school for to see if it was interesting to me. I enjoyed it, so I went to school...Got 2 years in, moved half across the US always from my parents/siblings to go to a school that specialized in my career choice. Got pregnant within months of moving away and decided that the career I was pursuing wasn't for me- stuck with my previous choice. Long story, I know but sometimes we just don't know! In the end, you live and you learn! As long as you're not screwing around, I see nothing wrong with just going for things!
 
ChocolateClen said:
Other thing is that idk **** compared to you all, I mean I'm ****ing 21, some of you have double and triple my age so you know a hell of a lot more than me. Trying to figure out what everyone else did to find themselves cause maybe it'll help me out as well.
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I think I could more easily put together a long list from my personal experience of things NOT to do. When I was your age far too many choices ultimately ended up having consequences later in life. I could go on for days...

TO DO - just $35 a week into a retirement account and by 61yo you could retire a millionaire.

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I'm 32. Have two degrees. I've lived, and live, a very interesting life. Very happy with what I have, immensely grateful. But you can always go to college later bro. Get out and live in the world for a decade, and thank me later.
 
TruthWalker said:
I'm 32. Have two degrees. I've lived, and live, a very interesting life. Very happy with what I have, immensely grateful. But you can always go to college later bro. Get out and live in the world for a decade, and thank me later.
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Yeah already so far in tho it's probably worth staying in right?
 
Sorry to be so harsh ChocolateClen, but you've got a lot going on for yourself and you're on here complaining about it. Look at the others on here who went to college while working two jobs and raising a family. That's some stress and dedication right there.
 
I was terribly vexed at age 18 in terms of making important decisions. One older colleague said," that is part of growing up." 1983 all over again. wheel of life
 
Thanks guys, this wasn't supposed to sound like I was complaining, I'm just hella lost at this point. Everyone's pushing me for college and friends are saying I'm meant more for the military, it takes a toll. And relationship wise, I'm not just going through women left and right. As I said tho I hate wasting time, and when you date and it doesn't work out, that's a lot of "wasted time". It's not really but it feels like it. I understand where I need to go from here now tho which was and has been my biggest issue for a long time.
 
ChocolateClen said:
Thanks guys, this wasn't supposed to sound like I was complaining, I'm just hella lost at this point. Everyone's pushing me for college and friends are saying I'm meant more for the military, it takes a toll. And relationship wise, I'm not just going through women left and right. As I said tho I hate wasting time, and when you date and it doesn't work out, that's a lot of "wasted time". It's not really but it feels like it. I understand where I need to go from here now tho which was and has been my biggest issue for a long time.
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Oh. Never mind. :D
 
There are such things as "gut feelings" "intuition" following your bliss (what you love or "feel" you might be destined for,- do not confuse bliss with pleasure or instant gratitude.) and many times down thru history lots of successful people have relied on a deep feeling to follow. A kind of knowing, that goes beyond simple explanation.
Lots of times all our paths are filled with detours or what may seem to be mistakes or wrong/right choices, only to find out later, that we were steered in some way to end up where we are at present.
You do not have to be religious (I am not) but spiritual, or things having a deeper meaning, which some may just call coincidence, or even synchronicity, is IMHO, our higher self telling us what is probably the best for us a times. Other times those choices seem to elude us, or we may choose to ignore following more our ego.

If one loves working with people, or is very social, then working as a forest fire watcher, alone in a fire tower for days, might not be their path.
(Not always that easy though, huh?) Maybe that is part of life's challenge!?

What does your heart tell you, or where/what direction, might you feel you are being pulled so to speak?
Lots of us seem to separate our heart from our head. Speaking from my own experiences.
It can be hard to listen to gut feelings, our intuition, our higher self, but from my experiences, they seemed to always steer me in the right direction in the long run. Not always where my ego wanted to go at that time, but it ended up being right for me in the long run. I have also learned to take a little time and not always act on a snap decision.

As far as love, I have always heard and now believe, it can find you when you are least expecting it, or not looking for it like a lost coin. It might happen more naturally, just like a bird never has to worry if he will eat the next day. Food always shows up.

Maybe google some of Dr. Joe Dispenza's stuff. Pretty good.
 
Wow.....you guys all post deep meaningful shyt and I just come off like a dick!

And justhere4comm you should write greeting cards. They'd have to be like really big cards, but still cards.
 
UCSMiami said:
At an early age you do not. I have saying, You make a decision and a few years go by before you realize it was a good decision or not. So just live life. If you truly want the answer then create either a Ben Franklin close or Nash decision tree for every important decision in life. However, you do not have the necessary life experiences to complete the exercise properly. That comes with actual experience. Hence why wisdom is a hallmark of the older generation. Having lived it and having hopefully a massive database of experience and knowledge, one can divine outcomes.
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I mostly agree with this, but would say anytime in life you don't know. As you get older and have had experiences, you can make a better educated guess, but **** happens. Don't waste your life overthinking it to the point of doing nothing...the old paralysis by analysis. Just go and do it and either succeed or dust yourself off and try again. As long as you're learning and growing it's not a waste.
 
Aleksandar37 said:
I mostly agree with this, but would say anytime in life you don't know. As you get older and have had experiences, you can make a better educated guess, but **** happens. Don't waste your life overthinking it to the point of doing nothing...the old paralysis by analysis. Just go and do it and either succeed or dust yourself off and try again. As long as you're learning and growing it's not a waste.
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I think the main difference is that as you get older, your choices tend to (typically) affect more than just yourself. Right now, his choices only truly affect himself. As time goes on, meet a girl, have a kid or two, now there is a whole lot more riding on those decisions. I think that guys on here with a couple kids know what I'm talking about. Being responsible for a wife a kids tends to have a sobering affect on most guys. I was amazed to learn how much shyt I was willing to tolerate when my kids were younger and I needed the job.
 
SFreed said:
I think the main difference is that as you get older, your choices tend to (typically) affect more than just yourself. Right now, his choices only truly affect himself. As time goes on, meet a girl, have a kid or two, now there is a whole lot more riding on those decisions. I think that guys on here with a couple kids know what I'm talking about. Being responsible for a wife a kids tends to have a sobering affect on most guys. I was amazed to learn how much shyt I was willing to tolerate when my kids were younger and I needed the job.
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Defintely! Life decisions don't get easier. I'd give anything to have the "problems" that I had back in high school or college lol.
 
SFreed said:
I think the main difference is that as you get older, your choices tend to (typically) affect more than just yourself. Right now, his choices only truly affect himself. As time goes on, meet a girl, have a kid or two, now there is a whole lot more riding on those decisions. I think that guys on here with a couple kids know what I'm talking about. Being responsible for a wife a kids tends to have a sobering affect on most guys. I was amazed to learn how much shyt I was willing to tolerate when my kids were younger and I needed the job.
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This right here. When you are younger, you only think of yourself, which is natural. After having two boys and a wife, decisions change, and priorities change. As others have stated OP, it's about living life and experiencing different things. If life were that easy, then all of us would be where we want to be right away. The only certain thing in life is the uncertainty. Life throws curveballs...adapt and learn...
 
If you're not in the right frame of mind in college then how the fck you gonna get in the right frame of mind to be in the military?
Seems to me you've got more going for you than a lot of very happy less privileged people.
Don't mean to be rude or sound rude bro but honestly grow the fck up and man up at the same time and life will fall into place for you.
Good luck ?
 
SFreed said:
I think the main difference is that as you get older, your choices tend to (typically) affect more than just yourself. Right now, his choices only truly affect himself. As time goes on, meet a girl, have a kid or two, now there is a whole lot more riding on those decisions. I think that guys on here with a couple kids know what I'm talking about. Being responsible for a wife a kids tends to have a sobering affect on most guys. I was amazed to learn how much shyt I was willing to tolerate when my kids were younger and I needed the job.
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I can totally understand that, when you have others dependin on you you gotta just suck it up and do **** you don't like... like changing diapers and **** lol. Def see where you're coming from here.

jt75 said:
If you're not in the right frame of mind in college then how the fck you gonna get in the right frame of mind to be in the military?
Seems to me you've got more going for you than a lot of very happy less privileged people.
Don't mean to be rude or sound rude bro but honestly grow the fck up and man up at the same time and life will fall into place for you.
Good luck ��
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Mostly cause I suck and mental ****, im a physical person which is why I like working out and personal training. Stick me in a math class and I won't understand ****, barely passed basic precal. And I know I'm hella privileged, not many people have access to the stuff I have access too I know that. But just because you're privileged doesn't mean everything in your life has to be working out and going the way you want them you go. Im just trying to figure out wtf to do with my life before it's too late or I **** up somehow
 
ChocolateClen said:
Mostly cause I suck and mental ****, im a physical person which is why I like working out and personal training. Stick me in a math class and I won't understand ****, barely passed basic precal. And I know I'm hella privileged, not many people have access to the stuff I have access too I know that. But just because you're privileged doesn't mean everything in your life has to be working out and going the way you want them you go. Im just trying to figure out wtf to do with my life before it's too late or I **** up somehow
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You're already sabotaging yourself before you get a chance to try. You more than likely either find math boring or didn't have good teachers. Some subjects click for some people or they find it interesting enough to really want to put in the time or they have great teachers who know how to explain things. Do not think you "suck" just because you had some bad classes. Fine, math isn't your thing. There is plenty of other stuff out there. What parts of working out and personal training do you enjoy? Is it the physiology part; are you interested in the science side of things? Do you enjoy putting together a plan and interacting with people? Maybe some of those thing transfer over to something like management. Maybe you like the engineering aspect of it.

The biggest mistake you can make right now is putting yourself down because you think you're the only one that asks these questions of themself. I'm 41 with a PhD and job experience all over the place and still have no friggin idea what I want to be when I grow up. Stop beating yourself up because you have questions.
 
Not insulting anyone (if anything I have a new respect for most of you), but I never knew how together I had it :lol:
 
Can't lie... as busy as my life is, it is pretty good.
 
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