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End of my rope- physique help- pics included

chedapalooza

Legend
So I'm starting this thread as a desperation for help and advice.... I train hard and smart, I eat more clean than most can dream of. I supplement for my goals and cover all my bases.... And what do I have to show for it?

My history is fat as a kid until 15- anorexic from 16-18 (190 pounds to 90 pounds) now stable at 165-175 depending on carbs or no carbs.

25 years old as of sept 15. Was on TRT for 6 months (October 2012-April 13) and did a clomid restart in April-may. Test got to 800 on clomid and estradiol was 39 or 40. Prolactin totally normal- dead center of normal range. I have more bloods I got taken on Monday, and will post those results. But my physique is non existent. Take a look. I am not "fat" I am not skinny... I'm not small, but I'm not really muscular either.... I'm just...... This



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This final pic is about a month ago... It's been a steady decline to the pics above.... Below was me at my best effort of a cut... Full diet and supplements and training to strip body fat... It did not work.

As someone who lost 100 pounds in the past, I kno how to lose fat, and it doesnt want to come off anymore.

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Im at the end of my ropes. I'm CERTAIN my problems lie within, as my test was 200 at 24... We are sure (doctors and me) i had damaged pituitary and thyroid from 2 years of anorexia... Things got better on TRT physique wise, but i wasnt ready to be on for life at 24.... I want kids. I was close to marriage and now I am no longer with that woman. So it's like now I need to be in top shape. Especially since I'm dating this 21 year old. She's already seen me naked and hasn't bounced.... But then there's the issue of my ED! A very new issue, coupled with these horrible man boobs and flat tire below my waist... Please AM minds, help me, anything you've got.

If I can't get a handle on this, im gonna start cycling and probably never come off... Blast and cruise and figure out the swimmers when it's time to make babies... Idk what else to do .... It's making me miserable on a daily basis busting my ass in the gym and kitchen, and getting nothing in return.
 
Let's start with diet breakdown

What you eat
When
How much
How often
Supplements

What's your tdee and how far from it are you. Have you reverse dieted to hit metabolic capacity?

Did you try any opioid antagonist. Naloxone? My friend was in a similar situation and was prescribed that and aided his recovery with messed up hormones (shut down. But he was an addict and it helped in a few ways. The mechanism is a little unconventional)
 
EBF Inc said:
Let's start with diet breakdown

What you eat
When
How much
How often
Supplements

What's your tdee and how far from it are you. Have you reverse dieted to hit metabolic capacity?

Did you try any opioid antagonist. Naloxone? My friend was in a similar situation and was prescribed that and aided his recovery with messed up hormones (shut down. But he was an addict and it helped in a few ways. The mechanism is a little unconventional)
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I eat mostly, if not entirely, gluten free... Breads, quinoa, brown rice, sweet pots, tons if veggies and fruit, lean meats and fish (rarely any red meat)... Greek yogurt, almond milk, light Swiss cheese on sandwiches, high fiber snacks like quest bars, vita muffin tops, almond butter, coco oil, eggs, olive oil... I eat fresh I but my groceries daily.. Sushi w brown rice, etc... It's all so healthy man.

I follow IF and break fast around 4 pm and feed 2-3 large meals from 4pm til 10 or 11. Then stay awake at least two hours after final meal. I CANNOT train on a full stomach or having already had food that day. I have been taking HMB pre workout with test powder. And I'm on c20, prime, rk 500 and fastin (with dmaa), anabolic pump, usp protein, usp 500mg extra agmatine pre my last meal of the day. 2g fish oil, 2000mg C spread out daily.. Magnesium citrate at bed 200mg and 2 caps REM PM at bed.

I'm fckin covered out the ass with supps ^^


I don't do drugs and have no idea what opioid antagonist is or means or how it would be used lol. Yes, I've tried reverse dieting and it seemed to have worked then I guess I just couldn't keep up the Intake due to being busy, but seemed like I was still eating enough as I wasnt hungry.... I mean, I could try eating way more again, I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels tho...

I know bc if my history, there's factors that aren't so simple as eat x,y,z and take this or that... My body literally isn't responding... Whether I go keto or bulk, it doesn't change-- aside from putting on fat. All regular blood work indicTes that I'm gonna live forever though! Lol.

I was lifting 5 days a week and doing 2-3 days of real solid HIIT. Now I'm about to start a program next week (on a planned deload to finish up my tats this week) where I will train full body m,w,f (legs only on wed) and do HIIT tues and thurs. with some liss as I feel necessary on the lifting days (dont wanna cut into my growing calories too much tho)

I spend too much damn time planning and thinking and doing, and not getting the results Zach.
 
chedapalooza said:
I eat mostly, if not entirely, gluten free... Breads, quinoa, brown rice, sweet pots, tons if veggies and fruit, lean meats and fish (rarely any red meat)... Greek yogurt, almond milk, light Swiss cheese on sandwiches, high fiber snacks like quest bars, vita muffin tops, almond butter, coco oil, eggs, olive oil... I eat fresh I but my groceries daily.. Sushi w brown rice, etc... It's all so healthy man.

I follow IF and break fast around 4 pm and feed 2-3 large meals from 4pm til 10 or 11. Then stay awake at least two hours after final meal. I CANNOT train on a full stomach or having already had food that day. I have been taking HMB pre workout with test powder. And I'm on c20, prime, rk 500 and fastin (with dmaa), anabolic pump, usp protein, usp 500mg extra agmatine pre my last meal of the day. 2g fish oil, 2000mg C spread out daily.. Magnesium citrate at bed 200mg and 2 caps REM PM at bed.

I'm fckin covered out the ass with supps ^^

I don't do drugs and have no idea what opioid antagonist is or means or how it would be used lol. Yes, I've tried reverse dieting and it seemed to have worked then I guess I just couldn't keep up the Intake due to being busy, but seemed like I was still eating enough as I wasnt hungry.... I mean, I could try eating way more again, I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels tho...

I know bc if my history, there's factors that aren't so simple as eat x,y,z and take this or that... My body literally isn't responding... Whether I go keto or bulk, it doesn't change-- aside from putting on fat. All regular blood work indicTes that I'm gonna live forever though! Lol.

I was lifting 5 days a week and doing 2-3 days of real solid HIIT. Now I'm about to start a program next week (on a planned deload to finish up my tats this week) where I will train full body m,w,f (legs only on wed) and do HIIT tues and thurs. with some liss as I feel necessary on the lifting days (dont wanna cut into my growing calories too much tho)

I spend too much damn time planning and thinking and doing, and not getting the results Zach.
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Your diet wasn't clear

Lets get a break down by meals with food and macros pre meal and overal calories and macros for the day

It's possible leptin resistance hasn't quite corrected itself yet withthenextreme nature of your diet and lifestyle

Pit down what I asked in this post so other people can help

Maybe a vitamin deficiency. A methylation problem who knows
 
EBF Inc said:
Your diet wasn't clear

Lets get a break down by meals with food and macros pre meal and overal calories and macros for the day

It's possible leptin resistance hasn't quite corrected itself yet withthenextreme nature of your diet and lifestyle

Pit down what I asked in this post so other people can help

Maybe a vitamin deficiency. A methylation problem who knows
Click to expand...

Sorry, I don't keep track of macros.. I used to do it years ago and it led me to become seriously OCD, brings me back to when I nearly died. I'm only eating twice, 3 times at most, per day.

I would guesstimate that each meal has 60-80g protein, 30-40g fat, and 75-150g carbs. I realize the carbs is a large range, and by reducing it to 100 or less for the day, I would certainly lose some water and bf, but I feel like overall energy, strength, mood, Etc would suffer. And like I said, even going keto never cut me up.. Haven't been single digit bf since I recovered from the anorexia.
 
You seem pretty stressed out. I truly believe stress in your daily life can effect weight gain, weight loss, muscle gain, etc..
 
i think EBF was trying to get you to say..

Breakfast - x amount of eggs,....etc

Snack - ......

so we can see what you are eating every meal
 
R1balla said:
i think EBF was trying to get you to say..

Breakfast - x amount of eggs,....etc

Snack - ......

so we can see what you are eating every meal
Click to expand...

I hear ya. I will keep track today.

It's hard bc I usually get dinner from whole foods 5-6 days a week from the food bar (2-3 lbs of food) lol and I obviously don't measure it and I just mix it all together in a box..
 
and what are your goals right now? ive found for bulking (for me), training 3x a week is perfect. Usually lifting heavy and/or alot of super sets and that 4 days of rest to eat and sleep good is wonderful.
 
R1balla said:
and what are your goals right now? ive found for bulking (for me), training 3x a week is perfect. Usually lifting heavy and/or alot of super sets and that 4 days of rest to eat and sleep good is wonderful.
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Yea, I'm looking to add lean mass and literally today am starting a 3 day full body program with two days of HIIT (m/w/f lift) (tues/thurs HIIT) weekends off.

My bf is acceptable at this time and adding solid muscle to my frame will make it look much better.

I want to add realistically 3-5 good pounds by the end of oct. then recomp through New Years. Then a solid lean bulk January to April/mid may. I will use DC and power/hyper for the winter lean bulk.
 
Reading your bio is like reading about myself, I was anorexic from 14-16 went from 210 to 120 in 3 months. I am also very susceptible to OCD and used to have sever anxiety and stress issues.

Training is the only thing I have ever found to keep myself sane. I'm a completely different person when I train.

Now to give you some advice as to what I did in the past( I'm no longer looking to body build powerlifting now). First and foremost get rid of all the supps !!! I did exactly what you are doing taking 10 different supps 3 times a day. All you need is a good multi, creatine, and a good cup of coffee in the morning. My sup list right now: multi, creatine, digestive enzyme, ALCAR, and a cup of coffee before the gym. Second you don't have to necessarily count macros, I don't, but I know I have to eat 6 eggs every morning with a potato, a shake after the gym and then 2# of meat through out the rest of my day with some more carbs. This helps to keep you away from the OCD but makes sure your on track with your diet. My last word of advice, don't go to the gym to have fun. By that I mean don't socialize, no sight seeing, don't try and look pretty. Sweat pants, baggy nasty shirt every day by the end of every routine you should be the sweatiest pile of human at you gym. Every day shooting for a new PR not for anyone but yourself.
 
Bigcountry08 said:
Reading your bio is like reading about myself, I was anorexic from 14-16 went from 210 to 120 in 3 months. I am also very susceptible to OCD and used to have sever anxiety and stress issues.

Training is the only thing I have ever found to keep myself sane. I'm a completely different person when I train.

Now to give you some advice as to what I did in the past( I'm no longer looking to body build powerlifting now). First and foremost get rid of all the supps !!! I did exactly what you are doing taking 10 different supps 3 times a day. All you need is a good multi, creatine, and a good cup of coffee in the morning. My sup list right now: multi, creatine, digestive enzyme, ALCAR, and a cup of coffee before the gym. Second you don't have to necessarily count macros, I don't, but I know I have to eat 6 eggs every morning with a potato, a shake after the gym and then 2# of meat through out the rest of my day with some more carbs. This helps to keep you away from the OCD but makes sure your on track with your diet. My last word of advice, don't go to the gym to have fun. By that I mean don't socialize, no sight seeing, don't try and look pretty. Sweat pants, baggy nasty shirt every day by the end of every routine you should be the sweatiest pile of human at you gym. Every day shooting for a new PR not for anyone but yourself.
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Amen to all of that. Believe the gym is not a fashion show or social event for me. I get in there an do work. I keep track in my head of how much and of what I eat but don't count the macros... I just kinda know. I know to eat more than I think is enough, and then that's enough lol.

Thanks for shAring..... Losing the supps will be tough, I'm not sure I'm ready yet quite honestly, but well see what happens...
 
chedapalooza said:
Amen to all of that. Believe the gym is not a fashion show or social event for me. I get in there an do work. I keep track in my head of how much and of what I eat but don't count the macros... I just kinda know. I know to eat more than I think is enough, and then that's enough lol. Thanks for shAring..... Losing the supps will be tough, I'm not sure I'm ready yet quite honestly, but well see what happens...
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I'm not say you should get rid of all sups, just that your using 13 different supps, and as you say yourself your not getting and gains so as of right now your basically burning a lot of money. I still buy something new once in a while for fun, I just don't like burning my whole paycheck.
 
We went over a basic list


Follow it don't take more then necessary and just track food man. You'll be surprised at what your eating/not eating. Post it up everyday. It'll help keep you accountable
 
EBF Inc said:
We went over a basic list Follow it don't take more then necessary and just track food man. You'll be surprised at what your eating/not eating. Post it up everyday. It'll help keep you accountable
Click to expand...

That is so true I talk to a lot of guys who say they eat right and say they know there hitting there macros, but when you actually sit down and go over it most of the time there only getting half if not less then what they think they are.
 
EBF Inc said:
We went over a basic list

Follow it don't take more then necessary and just track food man. You'll be surprised at what your eating/not eating. Post it up everyday. It'll help keep you accountable
Click to expand...

Bigcountry08 said:
That is so true I talk to a lot of guys who say they eat right and say they know there hitting there macros, but when you actually sit down and go over it most of the time there only getting half if not less then what they think they are.
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It's so tough bc like I said, the whole foods is right next to my gym lol so I go there after and get anywhere from 2-3 pounds of food and just shovel it into a box all mixed up! There's no way to really measure.... I eyeball it, bc I know roughly what a cup of something looks like, but that's not really worth anything and I usually get like a half a cup of 4-5 different rice/bean/grains... Couple slices of sweet potato, some whole red potatoes, some kale, then there's usually sme sort of roasted chicken or wings or fish that I grab... Tuna salad...

There are other things like the sandwich bread I use, turkey/cheese slices, or Greek yogurt, protein bars, etc, that I can more easily say has x,y,z macros
 
chedapalooza said:
It's so tough bc like I said, the whole foods is right next to my gym lol so I go there after and get anywhere from 2-3 pounds of food and just shovel it into a box all mixed up! There's no way to really measure.... I eyeball it, bc I know roughly what a cup of something looks like, but that's not really worth anything and I usually get like a half a cup of 4-5 different rice/bean/grains... Couple slices of sweet potato, some whole red potatoes, some kale, then there's usually sme sort of roasted chicken or wings or fish that I grab... Tuna salad...

There are other things like the sandwich bread I use, turkey/cheese slices, or Greek yogurt, protein bars, etc, that I can more easily say has x,y,z macros
Click to expand...

you can start by putting up a a typical day of eating.
 
Did fasted cardio this morning at 11. No weights today

5 minute run at 7 mph 2incline

5 rounds of
30 seconds on / 30 off to the sides
2incline 10mph, 10.2, 10.5, 10.7, 10.7-11 for final 10 seconds

Then took a 3-4 min break.

Hit the prowler.. Decent speed pushes def not a walk
4 trips with 90lbs on each side. Just pushes no pulls.(40 yards per trip) 30sec-1min rest

Hanging leg raises x17,13
Superset
Rope crunches 42.5lbx 17, 13

That was all, in and out in 40 30 mins total

Followed workout w bcaas

Just ate not too long ago (broke fast) with

1AP and 1rk500 30 minutes prior to:

1 Cup unsweetened almond milk

1 cup fat free plain
Greek yogurt with half scoop OEP protein and 1 tbsp chia seeds, half pack stevia, dash Hershey dark cacao (no sugar, 2fiber,.5 fat)

Brown rice tuna/avocado roll
Brown rice spicy salmon roll

Vitaliciious egg and cheese (150 cals)
1.5 fat, 22carb (7fiber) (3.5 sugar) 14 protein

1 metrx rtd51

Consumed 2 caps prime, 1g fish oil, 1000iu d3, 500mg C, 2 caps c20
 
chedapalooza said:
Did fasted cardio this morning at 11. No weights today

5 minute run at 7 mph 2incline

5 rounds of
30 seconds on / 30 off to the sides
2incline 10mph, 10.2, 10.5, 10.7, 10.7-11 for final 10 seconds

Then took a 3-4 min break.

Hit the prowler.. Decent speed pushes def not a walk
4 trips with 90lbs on each side. Just pushes no pulls.(40 yards per trip) 30sec-1min rest

Hanging leg raises x17,13
Superset
Rope crunches 42.5lbx 17, 13

That was all, in and out in 40 30 mins total

Followed workout w bcaas

Just ate not too long ago (broke fast) with

1AP and 1rk500 30 minutes prior to:

1 Cup unsweetened almond milk

1 cup fat free plain
Greek yogurt with half scoop OEP protein and 1 tbsp chia seeds, half pack stevia, dash Hershey dark cacao (no sugar, 2fiber,.5 fat)

Brown rice tuna/avocado roll
Brown rice spicy salmon roll

Vitaliciious egg and cheese (150 cals)
1.5 fat, 22carb (7fiber) (3.5 sugar) 14 protein

1 metrx rtd51

Consumed 2 caps prime, 1g fish oil, 1000iu d3, 500mg C, 2 caps c20
Click to expand...

So this is your total intake for the day?
 
R1balla said:
So this is your total intake for the day?
Click to expand...

No lol that was one meal. I just took another ap, rk500, and 2 agmatines and am gonna get the Same macros again at 930. More actually.. About 100 carbs, 12 fat and 60-80 protein with two more prime, 1g fish oil, 500mg C and 1000iu d3.

Then two hours from that I will take magnesium citrate 200mg and AP. then a half hour later, 2 powerfull and a rem pm for bed.
 
Hey man, I know it's not what you wanna hear but regardless of how "clean" your food choices are your daily caloric intake should still be tracked when trying to lean out. In my experiences, I personally tend to consume way more than I realize when I'm not really paying attention to my intake. Especially nuts, holy cow is it easy for me to over eat nuts. But you got this man just stay consistent
 
money0351 said:
Hey man, I know it's not what you wanna hear but regardless of how "clean" your food choices are your daily caloric intake should still be tracked when trying to lean out. In my experiences, I personally tend to consume way more than I realize when I'm not really paying attention to my intake. Especially nuts, holy cow is it easy for me to over eat nuts. But you got this man just stay consistent
Click to expand...

I hear that on the nuts! I used to binge on those things like no other.. All the trader Joes mixes! Haven't had them in the house in over a year.
 
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