Disappearing to rebuild

[-MVP-]

So as you guys have seen from my posts before I’ve had a pretty rough year. It was around this time last year I had found out my wife had been cheating on me and my divorce started. This week, her and the man she cheated with are at the beach with my kids….

About a month or two ago I was engaged to another woman who did me almost the exact same way. Two broken hearts in one year has had me reflect on some things in life.

I have decided I have been too available and too much of a nice guy to people that didn’t deserve it. I have decided that I’m going to disappear so to speak and work on myself and then resurface a better version of me.

The problem is I seek approval too often and it’s going to be hard to cut ties with bad habits.

Has anyone ever done something like this before? Should I delete all social media apps since they are primarily just a distraction

Any tips or recommendations would be appreciated.

 

[Smont]

Your searching for love when you should be single and getting your **** on point. There's no way anyone should be engaged a year after there divorced, there is no way you know enough about the person. Stop looking for a new wife and stop worrying about what your x wife is doing (I know that's easier said than done but you need to work on it)

Moving on does not mean getting into a new relationship, or if you do get into a new relationship, keep it as a girlfriend. Your not going to dissapear and come back a new person. Your working on some master plan that you don't need.

It's like when people come up with these elaborate over the top steroid cycles when all they need to do is take a little testosterone and maybe something else to go with it they're overthinking things.

With that being said, if you want to get off of social media then get off social media!

I don't have Facebook or Instagram or any of that.

Well, I do have a Facebook page but I haven't logged in in probably 7 years.

Life is not the internet, life is about being happy with yourself and yourself is more important then some new girlfriend or pretending to be someone your not.

You don't need to reinvent yourself, you just need to chill and do you.

Go to work, stack money, get in shape "for yourself!" Not for someone else.

Do you have a best friend? See if they wanna go on a dudes vacation, hit some beaches and some bars, or if you don't drink find something cool to do.

All I'm getting at is make yourself happy with yourself and by yourself before you try to worry about relationships.

Nothing was ment with bad intent or to piss you off. I responded exactly how I would to my brother or a good friend.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Hard luck buddy but yeah you don't need someone else to make you happy or loved; you have to do that for yourself. What your exes have done is done; hopefully, you can still see your kids. Build up yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally). Let your kids see a strong dad who despite setbacks is still someone they can look up to and rely on.

Here's a quote from the Ultimate Warrior for motivation:
“The weak and timid wear their heart on their sleeve. The WARRIOR wears his “soul” on his fist, his psyche embossed into the pores of his skin, each exhaled breath asserting its POWER to the world. Pride and Respect within one’s submit only to a show of self-inflicted FORCE!” – The Ultimate Warrior

 

[negus215]

you need to go through a hoe phase. literally hook up with whatever you can and get the most meaningless satisfaction for you and only you, no emotions involved. the world is full of sh***y people so its time to started looking out for yourself.
get off all forms of social media and start moving in silence.
Smont summed it really nicely.
Work on yourself and become the king of your world, the energy you'll attract will be a lot different than before

 

[sammpedd88]

Your searching for love when you should be single and getting your **** on point. There's no way anyone should be engaged a year after there divorced, there is no way you know enough about the person. Stop looking for a new wife and stop worrying about what your x wife is doing (I know that's easier said than done but you need to work on it)

Moving on does not mean getting into a new relationship, or if you do get into a new relationship, keep it as a girlfriend. Your not going to dissapear and come back a new person. Your working on some master plan that you don't need.

It's like when people come up with these elaborate over the top steroid cycles when all they need to do is take a little testosterone and maybe something else to go with it they're overthinking things.

With that being said, if you want to get off of social media then get off social media!

I don't have Facebook or Instagram or any of that.

Well, I do have a Facebook page but I haven't logged in in probably 7 years.

Life is not the internet, life is about being happy with yourself and yourself is more important then some new girlfriend or pretending to be someone your not.

You don't need to reinvent yourself, you just need to chill and do you.

Go to work, stack money, get in shape "for yourself!" Not for someone else.

Do you have a best friend? See if they wanna go on a dudes vacation, hit some beaches and some bars, or if you don't drink find something cool to do.

All I'm getting at is make yourself happy with yourself and by yourself before you try to worry about relationships.

Nothing was ment with bad intent or to piss you off. I responded exactly how I would to my brother or a good friend.

Best advice that could be given right here. I wish someone and told me this when I divorced 11 years ago. Don’t get me wrong. Things are great now. I ended up remarrying 7 years ago and couldn’t be happier.l, but you definitely can’t rush another relationship. Focus on you and you only for a while. Sometimes it pays to be selfish, in a sense.